"Well, I'd love to say that I've had a lovely time, David, but this wasn't it," Erin said as she stepped out of his car and bent down to speak to him. "I'm sorry, that old spark just isn't there. Something in me died that night, when you weren't there with me. I know that you weren't in control of that, but still, that's where my feelings are. I think a part of me will always love you, even though I'm not in love with you."
He nodded and opened his mouth to say something when she shook her head. He gave her a pained smile and then raised his hand, waving goodbye to her. She waved in return before turning and escaping into her home.
The door had barely closed when the first tears began to fall down her face, the cries shaking her body as she made her way to the living room. Somehow, she managed to sink into her recliner, and she curled up into a ball, wrapping her arms around her knees as she struggled to regain control of her emotions.
In the distance, she could hear her phone ringing, and she slowly unwound her body before getting up and picking up her landline. Hardly anyone called that number anymore, and her mind raced as she wondered who could be trying her there. "Hello?" she asked, hating the way her voice sounded sad and gravelly.
"Dave said that I should call you." At the sound of Penelope's voice, she sighed and relaxed a little, fresh tears coursing down her cheeks. "He said that it didn't work out."
"No, it didn't," she whispered, her left arm curving around her stomach as she stared out the window into the inky dark of the night.
"Do you want me to bring over ice cream?"
"Yeah?"
"Well, that's good, since I'm kinda at your door. Let me in!"
A tiny smile spread across her lips as she made her way over to the front door. Peeking out the window, she saw Penelope standing there, a paper bag in her hands. Unlocking the door, she opened it and welcomed the woman inside. "How did you get here so quickly?"
"I think that Dave had some inkling of what would happen tonight. He told me that he felt like you were trying to make it seem like everything was okay, and he could just see it in your eyes." She stepped over the threshold and then pulled her into a tight hug. "He told me to be prepared to take care of you."
Erin breathed in the light floral scent of her perfume, and hugged Penelope back, relishing the hug. It felt so right to be in her arms, and that thought startled her, enough so that she stiffened in Penelope's arms. The woman drew away from her, a hurt look crossing her features, and Erin frowned. "I'm sorry, I guess I'm just not good company tonight. It's been so difficult to adjust to life without the covert measures taken to protect my identity, and I just keep hurting the ones I care about."
Turning, she drifted into the living room and once more curled up in her chair, closing her eyes as she set her chin on her knees, trying to shut out the sorrow she was feeling. Once more, she stiffened when an ice cold hand touched her upper arm, and she glanced up at Penelope. "You've been keeping that in, then. You should have told me how much you were hurting."
"I didn't want to admit that I was drowning," she whispered, and sighed as she felt Penelope bury her free hand in her hair, raking her fingers through it soothingly.
"Well, I'm here to rescue you," she whispered back before leaning in and brushing her lips against Erin's forehead. "Now, come on, the ice cream is going to melt."
Gently, she tugged Erin to her feet and brought her over to the couch. Together, they sat and Penelope pulled out the carton of ice cream. "Chocolate? I would have thought that you would choose something like cookie dough or caramel pretzel or something."
"I had no idea what you would like, gum drop. Chocolate seemed safest." Erin nodded as she took the carton from Penelope's hand, watching her pull out two spoons. "Is there anything that you'd like to watch?"
A soft smile crossed Erin's lips as she peeled the top off the container and then took the spoon from Penelope's hand. "Do you mind something less mainstream?"
"Honey, I live and breathe media outside the mainstream. What do you have in mind?"
A soft blush stained Erin's cheeks as she dug her spoon into the sugary confection. "I've been finding myself watching performances of different ballets. I have the 2005 performance of Swan Lake cued up."
"That sounds perfectly lovely." Erin was surprised at her quick agreement, and she nodded a little as she fished out the remote and hit the play button. By the time the production was over, they had finished the pint of ice cream. "Here, you have a little bit of chocolate on your nose," she said as they looked at each other.
Penelope leaned in and rubbed her thumb against the tip of Erin's nose. The scent of chocolate wafted off her breath and Erin bit her lip as she leaned in a little closer, welcoming the way that Penelope slid her hand around to cup her cheek. "Did you get it all?" she asked huskily, feeling an odd desire steal over her.
"No, I'm going to have to use a little elbow grease, I think. Do you mind?" Slowly, Erin shook her head and then Penelope closed the distance between them, her tongue darting out and lapping at Erin's nose. A low groan slipped from her lips, and it seemed like that was all it took to encourage Penelope to lower her lips tenderly and capture hers in a soft, lush, kiss.
They were both breathing heavily when she broke the kiss a minute later. "Oh. Penelope."
The woman stroked her thumb along her cheekbone, and Erin nuzzled into the touch. "Your lips taste of chocolate."
"So do yours." And then, she leaned in and kissed Penelope again, hungrier this time. The woman responded by pushing her back against the sofa, one hand holding her wrists above her head, the other snaking up to cup one breast and thumb her nipple gently. "That feels so lovely, Penelope. Oh, more. Please?"
Penelope smiled widely at her. "All you had to do was ask." There was something lurking in the back of Penelope's eyes, something that made Erin pause, and she shook one hand free so that she could caress her face. "Do you really admire me?"
"If you only knew how deep my feelings ran for you," she whispered. "I pushed them aside when I was with David, since we were together, but in the back of my heart, there was this place meant only for you. Now I know why it was there."
Penelope smiled at her as she nodded. "We both needed to be in a place where we were free to be together." Fat tears welled up in the younger woman's eyes, dropping onto her face, and once more Erin caressed her face, flicking those tears away. "I guess I just needed to be reassured that this wasn't some random hookup. I guess I want this to mean something."
"Oh, honey, it means the world to me," she breathed out as she tenderly pushed Penelope off of her. "Now, my bed is much more comfortable than this couch. Will you join me in our own pas de deux?"
Penelope nodded and clasped her hand tightly, as if she was afraid that Erin would abandon her at her most tender. Leaning in, Erin kissed her once more, softly this time, letting her passion be restrained by emotion. They sighed in unison, and then she led her up the stairs, taking her to her bedroom. "You're so soft now, Erin," Penelope murmured as she cupped her face, her thumbs tracing along her cheekbones. "So open to me. To us."
She nodded and closed her eyes when Penelope pressed her lips softly to hers. "If I had been open more, back then, perhaps I could have stopped Curtis before anything had happened. Perhaps I wouldn't have caused David such pain."
It was so easy to be open with Penelope, to tell her the secrets of her heart, since she knew that Penelope would never tell them to another soul. "And perhaps we would never have lost you, even for just a short time." Once the words were out of her lips, she kissed Erin deeply, letting her hands slip back to sink into her hair. "Um, I'm so glad you've let your hair grow out again. I like it long like this."
"I do, too. I'm trying to see how long I can get it. When I was a child, I dreamt of becoming a princess, and they always have long hair." A soft blush spread across her face as she fiddled with the hem of her own blouse. "Now, in my prime, I can do this."
"Good," Penelope whispered before kissing her once more, her nimble fingers making quick work of the buttons on Erin's blouse. Erin sighed as Penelope released her lips, kissing down the column of her neck and lapping at the base. It was a tender spot for her, and Erin giggled softly before moaning lowly as Penelope unclasped her bra and tugged it from her body.
"Penny," she managed to gasp out as she gently pushed her away. "You're overdressed. Let me." Reaching out, she tugged the shirt up her torso, staring at the pale skin she uncovered. Her breasts were larger than she had figured, and she licked her lips a little in the anticipation of tasting. It didn't take long to get the shirt off, and she met Penelope's eye as she slid her hands around to unclasp her bra.
"Touch me," Penelope whispered, and a soft smile spread across her face.
"Soon. Stand up, first." The younger woman frowned at her a little, but did as told, and Erin stood as well, her fingers making short work of her skirt, letting it pool on the floor. Penelope took the hint and also shimmied out of her skirt to stand before her in only the briefest of panties. "You shave it into a heart?" Erin murmured as she sank down to her knees.
"Ye-yeah," Penelope breathed out as Erin began to tug the panties down her legs. Leaning forward, she pressed her lips against the soft, silky, hair that covered Penelope's mound, breathing in deeply. "I'm going to come before you've even properly touched me, Erin," she managed to gasp out as she buried her hand in Erin's hair, tugging none too gently. Rather than relieve her, though, she smiled before letting her tongue snake out and draw a pattern on her hair.
"Sit down," she said finally, and pushed Penelope down before spreading her legs and licking her lips. "Oh, Penelope," she breathed out before scooting forward and starting to eat the younger woman out. While it had been decades since her last female lover, she used all the techniques that David had used.
She must have been doing something right, as she could hear the muffled moans that Penelope was uttering as her fingers dug into her hair almost painfully. "Erin!" the woman screamed out loudly as the orgasm ripped through her body.
Before she knew what was happening, Penelope was tugging her up onto the bed, getting her onto her back, and straddling her. As she gazed up, she took in the flush on Penelope's face, the pleased grin that she wore, and the way her eyes were dilated with pure desire. "Penny?"
"I am going to love on you, Erin. If you'll let me."
Erin nodded, giving her a shy smile. "I will." Penelope gave her a soft nod in return before bending down and kissing her deeply. She gave herself over to the buss, letting her fingers rake through the soft blonde curls as she opened her lips and began to duel with her tongue. Finally, those maddeningly sweet lips began to trail down her neck until she reached her breasts. "Why did you stop?" she managed to pant up as she restlessly writhed against the woman.
"Do you like teeth?" It was a wicked question, one that caused the desire that pooled in her belly to leap into a wildfire of longing. Somehow, she nodded and felt Penelope smiled against her breast. "Good."
And then, that lovely mouth of hers was engulfing her breast, her teeth scraping against her too hard nipple, and Erin was seeing stars. A quick, noiseless, orgasm swept over her body, causing Penelope to laugh a little. The vibrations of her mirth just extended the orgasm, and she rooted around for the woman's hand, tugging it down to her core the moment she had found it. "More," she breathed out, and Penelope nodded, roughly yanking her panties off before starting to finger her.
It seemed like her body was one hot nerve as wave after wave of pleasure swept over her. "You are so keyed up, my darling." She smiled a little as she shrugged, motioning with her head for Penelope to come lay beside her. Taking the hint, the woman stretched out along her body, her arm coming to rest around her waist.
"Not any longer. I feel blissfully weightless, my dear." The endearment rolled off her tongue, as if she had always been meant to call Penelope that. Turning, she looked at Penelope and reached up to caress her cheek. "You've made me feel wonderful. When can we do this again?"
Penelope stiffened a little and she wondered what she had said to upset her so. "I'm almost forty," she said lowly.
"And I'm fifty one. What does that matter?"
There was a long pause, and Erin frowned, siting up to wrap her arms around her legs as she pulled them close to her chest. It didn't take long for the tears to start falling, and she tried to make herself as small as possible, in hopes that her sorrow would be ignored. "I…"
"Just, just, go. Leave me."
The mattress bobbled a little as Penelope moved, and then her arms were closing around her, holding on to her tightly as she rocked them back and forth. "I don't want this to be just about sex. I know, it's stupid, to think that you could want a relationship with me. I'm nowhere near your league, but, well, Rossi knew that I had a bit of a crush on you, and when it looked like things weren't working out, I jumped at this chance. I adore you, more than I have right to, and to you, this was just a hookup."
Erin's chest hurt as she took a deep breath. "If that's how you really feel, then yes, I am way out of your league. Get. Out." She pulled away from Penelope, only to feel the woman cling to her tightly.
"This is not how I expected our dance to end," she finally murmured in her ear, and Erin nodded. "Can you forgive me for hurting you?" Again, she nodded, uncurling her body and letting Penelope embrace her fully.
"I, I feel like I'm drowning at times, Penny. That I can't find my way in this world. And then, you showed up tonight, and everything felt right. Why did you make a mockery of that?"
"Because I lashed out. Because I was hurting. Because I'm stupid."
Erin cut off her words with a harsh kiss, pulling them back down to the mattress. "Never, never, never, let me hear you call yourself that again. You are too intelligent to ever saddle yourself with the descriptor of stupid." Again, she kissed her, letting her lips do the talking her heart could not find words for. "And this was not a hookup."
"Really?"
"Yes." This time, it was Penelope who mashed her lips against hers and she gave herself over to the pleasure she was bringing. "But only if you want it to be more. I've never been casual about sex, I would never have let this happen if it didn't mean something to me. I've already tasted death once, I don't want to taste it alone again."
Penelope sighed as she dragged her fingers through Erin's hair. "You won't. Our pas de deux will last long after the music ends. I promise you." They kissed once more before Erin snuggled in close, resting her head on Penelope's chest, listening to her heart beat. "And I try not to make promises I can't keep."
Erin smiled as nodded. "I will hold you to that promise then, as we try to find our way in this world." Softly, she pressed her lips to Penelope's chest and then closed her eyes, letting their breathing sync. "Stay?" she murmured as she felt herself starting to fall asleep.
"For as long as you'll have me, darling." Soft lips kissed her forehead. "For as long as you'll have me."