by Xaeana
Chapter 1: Dark Nightmares
It kept haunting him. That horrible moment when the one thing good in his life was ripped away. He was back in the Death Chamber, watching, as Sirius fell so slowly. Harry tried to run to him, but it was as if he were in water, and couldn't move fast enough. He felt something, an arm perhaps, holding him back, keeping him from his falling godfather. He could hear himself screaming out Sirius' name, but it seemed too quiet as he fell. The curtains behind him flew open and Sirius fell into the darkness behind him. Then, Harry was falling with him, as if the ground just gave away beneath him. He looked up, and before he was enveloped in the darkness, Harry saw two red eyes laughing maniacally as he fell.
Harry, quite safe in his bed on solid ground, woke with a start. Something moist covered his cheeks and pillows. Harry reached up to his face, only to realize that he had been, and still was, crying. Harry looked over to his dresser at the happy birthday cards his friends had sent him. The bright colors and cheerful faces gave a false feeling of cheer in the room. Harry had not left it since he arrived back from Hogwarts.
"What do they care?" Harry thought bitterly as he read his friends' messages to be strong and keep his chin up. "They've never lost anyone like I've lost Sirius. They don't understand." Harry swept the cards from his desk to the floor angrily. He regretted his silent outburst though, as he stared down at the smiling faces Ginny had drawn of the entire Weasley family. Ginny was becoming quite the artist, actually. A drop of water fell onto the drawing, and Harry realized, by the taste of salt in his mouth, that he was still crying the bitter tears of loss.
Harry turned to the window. Hedwig was out, leaving Harry alone. Right now, though, Harry doubted he wouldn't feel alone even if he was at Hogwarts with all of his dearest friends. It seemed like nothing could make him happy. Not even the light of the full moon shining down brightly on Privit Drive could calm him. It was times like this when Harry's mind began to wander when he began to imagine what terrible things might happen at Hogwarts this year. Who would die this time, because of him? Because of his existence? If it wasn't for him, Sirius would be here and so would Cedric. Suddenly, like a slap in the face, Harry realized that it was because of him that Voldemort had appeared at Harry's house fifteen years ago. It was because of him that his parents died. With a small sob, Harry curled into a ball on his bed.
He knew he had to get to sleep, but it seemed almost impossible. Harry looked at his clock periodically. 1:39……2:13…2:30…The minutes dragged on like hours. Harry looked up at the moon. The cool light which often would help soothe his nerves, did nothing for his ripped soul, now.
He closed his eyes and breathed quietly, willing himself asleep., trying to banish all thoughts of Sirius, of friends, of anyone, out of his head.
Sirius was falling again. That's all he saw: the curtain, the red light, the empty blackness. He woke with a start again. That's all he could think about. It haunted him day and night like a bloodhound; unrelenting. Harry cursed himself. If only he hadn't been tricked by Voldemort. If only he hadn't been stupid enough to believe him. He turned his gaze back to the clock: 3:48. He felt, more than anything else, eyes upon him, and slowly, like a magnet, Harry's head turned out towards the starry sky. The moon was full. Remus would be in agony right now. Harry's heart wrenched at the thought of his favourite professor. How he missed having Lupin's guidance in his life.
Against the bright light of the moon, a large silhouette loomed towards Harry's window. Hedwig soared into Harry's bedroom window with a proud hoot. In her beak was a note from none other than Ron.
Harry quickly unrolled the parchment and another piece of paper fluttered out. Judging by the handwriting, the second note was from Hermione. Harry quickly read the longer letter from Ron.
Harry,
Mum's agreed to let you stay the rest of the summer. Hermione's already here, but we had to get "Ministry Permission" to get you out of there. We'll be by Saturday around noon. I don't care if your Aunt and Uncle don't want you to come. If they don't let you, we'll just get Moody to pick you up and bring you here. (Harry smiled faintly at the thought of Mad-eye coming to pay a visit to Uncle Vernon) Anyways, almost the whole family's here.
Charlie arrived just yesterday. Fred and George have been doing well with their joke shop. They told mum where they got the money.(Harry felt a lump growing in his throat as he read this.) She was a bit angry at you, but the next day, she was telling everyone how thoughtful and generous you were for giving up your money to them, so I guess you're off the hook. I got my results back for the O.W.L.s!
Potions: Poor
Transfiguration: Exceeds Expectations
Charms: Acceptable
Defense against the Dark Arts: Outstanding
Astronomy: Acceptable
Care of Magical Creatures: Exceeds Expectations
History of Magic: Poor
Divination: Terrible
Herbology: Exceeds Expectations
6 O.W.L.s! 6! Hermione's got 9, but I have 6! What were your results? Write back with your Aunt and Uncle's responses! We can't wait to see you. There's some big news about You-Know-Who and Dumbledore, though I can't tell you, seeing as how our letters might be screened or something.
See you soon,
Ron
The sight of Ron's letter gave Harry new hope. It would be good to get away from this abysmal place, where the Dursleys had gone out of their way to ignore him. Dudley was actually being nicer to him, seeing as the thought of five wizards giving him pigs' tails was absolutely horrifying. But a part of Harry wanted to be alone. He wanted to be by himself, to fix his thoughts on his own. The anti-social feeling soon passed, and Harry picked up the smaller letter from Hermione.
Harry,
I hope you had a good birthday. As Ron has undoubtedly told you, we're coming to get you this Saturday. I've gotten the results of my O.W.L.s. I only got 9! I got a poor in Arithmancy! It was horrible! Although, I did get an outstanding in four classes. I hope the Dursleys aren't too horrible. And I hope you've been writing to Moody, just in case he was serious about the whole letter thing. We hope to see you soon.
XO,
Hermione
P.S. harry, take care of yourself, ok?
"take care of yourself" Harry's tongue stumbled over the words. They seemed foreign to him, having not spoken to anyone but himself for a long time. The words circled through his head. Take care…he thought of Hermione and ron and of sipping butterbeer at Hogsmede, and of learning magic…of yorself…he thought of Hagrid, and professor Lupin and of finding out he was a wizard…He focused on that moment, remembering every detail, every sight, every smell, every thought. He clutched Hermione's note to his chest and tumbled back into bed. No more demons…for now.
"It seems as if a bomb went off in the London Mall today. The death toll is now up to thirty people. This looks to be the work of an elite terrorist group…" the announcer reported. Pictures flashed across the screen of a large building who's side had been blown up in several places. The announcer continued. "Many of the victims were found with no marks on their body. No one is sure how these people died. Some say it was the impact of the bomb, others, though, have another story." The camera shifted to several muggles, all with outrageous stories to report of what they had seen. Harry half listened to the stories, instead, he watched his Uncle Vernon, who's face was a deep shade of purple while reading the newspaper. The headline read, "More Mysterious Attacks on London Civilians." Harry felt as if his stomach had turned to ice. He knew exactly the reason why those people had died. They were muggles. People with no magic. And now, Lord Voldemort had started a war against them and the whole wizarding world.
A man on the television screen caught Harry's attention from his brooding. "I saw these people in black cloaks wit masks over their faces. They were carrying these strange sticks which emitted some sort of light." The man gestured. Harry stared wide-eyed at the screen, so did Uncle Vernon. "And then-" another man butted in. Harry recognized him to be Kingsley Shacklebolt.
"Excuse me sir. I need a moment of your time" He led the man off the screen.
The muggle returned without Kingsley, saying "Where was I? Oh, yes! Those sticks were obviously some new sort of remote control. They all gathered near the food court, then…boom…they were no where to be found."
The camera shifted back to the reporter. "The bodies of the terrorists have not been found yet, but there is still much rubble to examine…" Harry turned his attention to Uncle Vernon who was now glued to the screen.
"Uncle Vernon?" The beefy man's head instantly whipped up at Harry.
"What do you want?" he snapped, glowering.
"The Weasleys want me to go to their house for the rest of the summer." Harry glared back, his courage building. He wasn't going to let Uncle Vernon keep him away from his friends.
"Well." Uncle Vernon glowered deeper. "I shall think about it. I don't want you to cause any more chaos than is already out there. You and your kind could cause some more damage along with everything else that's been happening." Harry's anger flared up white hot inside him.
"My kind?" he hissed through clenched teeth. Uncle Vernon stared at Harry for a moment. Harry's anger died when he got an idea. "Well, I'll just write a letter to Mad-Eye. You know him, don't you? The wizard with the magical eye?"
Apparently the trick worked, because Vernon turned wide eyed and pale and covered his face with his newspaper. Harry could definitely hear "Maybe you won't be that bad." muttered quietly. Harry smiled to himself, and with a final glance at the television (it was now covering a local dog show), he bounded up the stairs to his room. He addressed a letter to both Hermione and Ron, and wrote hurriedly.
Hermione and Ron,
I can come! All I had to do was mention Mad-Eye, and I can come. I can't wait to see you. Here are my Results for O.W.L.s:
Potions: Outstanding
Transfiguration: Exceeds Expectation
Care of Magical Creatures: Outstanding
Herbology: Acceptable
Divination: Terrible
Astronomy: Poor
Defense Against the Dark Arts: Outstanding
Charms: Exceeds Expectation
I can't believe I got an Outstanding in Potions. That must have been a real stroke of luck. Can't wait to see you guys soon!
Harry
Harry walked over to Hedwig's cage and tied the note around her leg. She blinked away the sleep and looked at him balefully.
"This is for Ron and Hermione. I'll meet you there, ok?" Hegwig gave him an affectionate nip on the finger and flew out the window.
Harry couldn't wait for Saturday.
Somehow, the night slipped away from underneath him, and it was seven o'clock, time for breakfast. He walked down to three orange slices. They stared back at him from the plate. Three of them. Just sitting and staring and smiling right back. Harry glared at them. They smiled back. Harry took his fork and stabbed the left one. It still smiled. He ate that one. Then, he stabbed the right one and ate it, leaving the middle one untouched. Then, he dug out the seeds of the last orange slice. It still smiled. He pulled of the skin and separated it into several small parts. It still smiled. He ate each piece, one by one, and the still the orange slice smiled. He ate the rest of it. It smiled no more. Aunt Petunia, who had been watching the spectacle, stared at him with a mixture of horror and confusion. Harry decided it was time he had some fun. He looked up at his aunt with a crazy, wild stare and hissed "They were laughing at me." Petunia said nothing, only walked backwards out of the kitchen, her eyes extremely wide. Harry smiled faintly to himself. Today might not be so bad.
After the orange slice incident, the rain cleared up. It was still gloomy outside, and the humidity was unbearable, but Harry decided that he could no longer stay in this house all day. He left the house without a word to anyone, and doubted that they would even care if he never came back. He passed the park, keeping his head hunched down and his gaze around is feet, without a glance towards anyone or anything. His feet unconsciously took him towards the local shopping mall. Not many people were there, so harry wandered around by himself, keeping to himself. He watched a few people his age as they shopped, talked and flirted and lived. Harry felt apart from them. He felt as if there were a large pane of glass between him and the rest of the world, and he couldn't get through. A young girl, not realizing that Harry was staring off into the distance and not at her, smiled and waved flirtatiously. He smiled faintly back and continued walking through the shopping areas. He could never be a part of the muggle world. Never.
He soon found himself walking out of the mall, his thoughts wandering to Ron and Hermione, mostly Hermione. His body kept walking, but his mind was still back in his fourth year, before Cedric died, before everything had gotten screwed up, before Harry had screwed it up. How he wished to go back to that life! Even if it was just for a moment, he would give anything to feel as happy as he did during that time.
Anything.
He found himself in front of the local train station. A small train that bussed commuters to and from work was sitting by the platform. Harry shrugged to himself. What could he possibly lose? He fished £2 out of his pocket, put them into the gate machine and pushed his way through the metal gate. He found a seat inside all to himself, and, making a point to not look at anyone else in the compartment, he sat down by a window. The train gave a lurch and started forward. Harry watched as houses and buildings and trees passed by. He watched as the train stopped at several stations, and he wondered who these people were, and where they were going. He wondered what their lives were like? Were any of them wizards? Would anyone care if they all died? Did any of them have even the smallest idea of what trouble the world was in?
He stared and stared for what seemed like days. He gave his watch a passing glance. It was around noontime, but Harry was in no rush. He didn't even feel like eating. He hadn't eaten much since the beginning of the summer, and he didn't really care. He ate when he had to and slept when it was necessary. He was so consumed by his thoughts that he didn't notice the person who sat down right next to him.
"They're fascinating, aren't they?" the woman whispered. Harry was shaken from his thoughts violently. He looked around the train. Not very many other people were in the train. Why was she sitting next to him? He scrutinized her for a second. She was in her early-thirties, possibly younger. Her raven black hair hung around her face and it probably would shimmer if it weren't so unruly. She had glimmering black eyes, which reflected her perpetual small smile, and dark lines under her eyes, giving her an aura of sorrow.
"What do you mean?" Harry asked, trying to pick up the conversation before she realized he was staring at her.
She shifted in her seat to get a better view "well, each one of them is going off to somewhere. Each one of them is so enraptured with their own lives that they forget that there are others on this planet. Others who are far more powerful and important, and yet they know nothing about them, or even care. It's interesting to watch them, and wonder what their lives are like." She smiled at Harry. "I'm Celestra." She smiled.
"Harry." He replied a little more curtly than he intended. He turned back to the window. He didn't care what this muggle thought. What did she know? She didn't know that the fate of the entire world rested upon his shoulders, that the boy she was sitting next to would save the world from destruction. Harry found himself not caring about them at all. "So what if the world is destroyed? Why should I care about them? What have they ever done for me?" he thought-no-he screamed in his head. "let them live their lives" Harry muttered outloud.
The woman chuckled lightly. "Not a people watcher, are you, Harry?"
"Nope" harry mumbled. The woman sighed in exasperation.
"Tell me, are you born with a birth defect that only lets you speak one word per sentence, or would you like me to leave you alone?"
"I would like you to leave me alone…please." He mumbled, not taking his eyes off the window. He wasn't watching what was going on outside. He was watching the woman's reflection, seeing how far he could push her.
"Oh, so he can speak! It's a miracle!" She said with a smile playing on her lips.
Harry couldn't help it. He grinned, even laughed a little.
The train halted at a remote station and the woman rose to leave.
"This is where I depart, young Harry of the Train." She gave a mock bow and snatched up a walking stick that was leaning on the side of the seat and Harry had not seen. Leaning heavily on the oddly shaped staff of wood, she walked out of the train. Harry could see her depart through the window. Even though she was limping heavily, she walked with grace and dignity that emphasized her beauty.
"Well," Harry thought, "maybe there's one muggle that's worth saving...
Well? what do you think? please please please review! I need to know what you guys think!