This is what happens when I read too much parody, troll and crack fanfiction and end up watching one of my favorite Simpsons episodes on top of it. So in the spur of the moment, I present to you, a parody of one of my favorite episodes.

I will confess, it took a while to actually figure out how to place this together because for starters, while it is easy to go by the episode completely with only changing a few names here and there, I decided to actually mesh and even change up some of the lines to some which suit the characters better. After all, a parody isn't really fun unless you challenge yourself by doing so (while keeping some of the funny stuff of course).

Anyways, I do not own The Simpsons, Super Smash Brothers or any of the other franchises implemented in this story.
The same can also go for original characters... well, one of them is an alternative version of an existing character but they don't show up until the next chapter.

EDIT: Oops, forgot to fix some slight errors. Now I got them all thankfully (I hope).

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Chapter 1: Pit's Hidden Talent
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It was another beautiful day in the city of Smashfield. The skies were clear as a few clouds passed by, following the path of the wind which blew southeast. Students and faculty alike gathered around outside of Smashfield Middle School, inching their way towards the entrance as Principal Frederick cleared his throat.

"I hope you all enjoy your ride to and tour of Smashfield Shopper newspaper," he simply exclaimed. "Groundskeeper Sara and I will stay behind to remove all traces of asbestos and the word "evolution" from our school."

Little did Frederick know, Sara walked towards the entrance, clutching onto a pitcher of a mixed, alcoholic beverage as she pushed the door open, startling the stern principal.

"Next stop, Margaritaville! Uh –oh they're still here."

"Yes." Frederick fixed up his tie and folded his arms behind his back as Sara stepped back inside the school building. "Now I'd like to ask each child to pair up with a buddy so no one gets lost."

"Come to think of it, I haven't seen Popo since the last field trip," Dark Pit brought up, rubbing the bottom of his chin. Pit faced his brother, exchanging a perplexed look as if the name sound vaguely familiar yet he couldn't quite put a face on it. Meanwhile, Frederick chuckled sheepishly at the black angel's comment.

"Popo? I don't remember any Popo." His statement was immediately followed by more hesitant laughter. "Silly name. Popo."

In the crowd of volunteers, Pit was amazed to see Palutena leaning against her vehicle.

"Lady Palutena," he chirped, "It's great that you volunteered to drive but how did you get out of work?"

"About that," the goddess replied, "there's nothing to worry about Pit. In fact, I already got it covered."

Back in Skyworld, a poorly constructed clone of Palutena crafted with a floor length green wig perched on a bucket, donned her signature cream gown as a tape recorder sat in its lap on autoplay.

"I work hard for the money. So hard for the money. Oh, something-something money, come on and give me lots of honey."

As the "doppelganger" was in its own world just in time for the goddess's inspection, Zeus and Hermes traveled through her temple, taking note of the Goddess of Light's enthusiasm.

"Now there's a deity, Hermes. A smile on her lips and a song in her heart. Promote her."

The false goddess now sat inside a fancy, marbled office with the most decadent of curtains and the finest furniture known to gods. The tape continued playing while it requested it to be turned over, getting warbled as it blew a fuse, instantly igniting into flames which hastily spread throughout the room.

In the meantime, the real Palutena drove Pit, Dark Pit, Viridi and Morgan to their destination.

"Hey! I know how we can have some fun. I spy with my little eye, something beginning with a D," the angel beamed.

"Dingus!" Dark Pit proceeded to punch his brother on his head, knocking the older angel out. Palutena slightly turned her head, exchanging a stern look with the other twin.

"Pittoo! What did I say about hitting your brother?!" she scolded.

"Beats me," he casually replied, smirking. "And for the last time, quit calling me that already!"

Palutena took a deep breath as she kept her main focus on the road. She made a mental note to reprimand the younger twin later but for now, her mind was occupied with other things. While the goddess became engulfed by her own thoughts, another vehicle suddenly cut her off, causing her to swerve for a slight moment as the tires screeched on the road. Moreover, Palutena honked the horn in frustration.

"Hey, you fucker! You cut me off!" Palutena proceeds to swerve the car once again, trying to find an opening to cut them off in return. "Oh yeah! Fuck you!"

Viridi turned her gaze towards the angry goddess, rolling her eyes. She wondered if Palutena's age was starting to finally get to her however refrained herself from mentioning it. Instead, she decided to point out the obvious which for some reason, the older goddess was completely oblivious to.

"Hello," the Goddess of Nature chimed in, "that's an ambulance!"

"Oh—right!" Instead of responding rationally, Palutena honked her horn yet again. "Fucking ambulance! Think you're so big with your fucking siren and your letters on backwards!" Her vigorous statement was quickly followed by a sudden sharp turn, arriving at their destination. Before they knew it, Palutena parked the car and magically recovered from her road rage and smiled gently.

"Here we are kids, the zoo."

Dark Pit learned over the driver's seat and narrowed his eyes. "Well that's great Palutena—except you were supposed to drive us to the newspaper."

"D'oh!"

Her voice echoed throughout the zoo, startling some of the animals as the flamingos flew away, the elephants running eastward, the alligators diving back into their swamp and finally, a polar bear frantically leaping onto a moose as they took off to find solace.

After a few more minutes—to include more fighting with traffic and Pit's terrible puns, the group finally arrived at their destination, Palutena abruptly parking her vehicle in front of the entrance. Without further ado, the five of them rushed inside to join up with the others as the goddess clutched onto a balloon she obtained from said zoo earlier. The worker issuing the students the door waited patiently till they took their place before beginning their expedition.

"Welcome to the Smashfield Shopper, established in 1883," she began. "The newspaper was founded by Johnny Newspaperseed, a fourteen year old who roamed the world founding newspapers."

While the other students stared dumbfounded at their presenter, Pit on the other hand, slightly narrowed his gaze in bewilderment.

"If he's so smart, how come he's dead?"

The woman paused for a few seconds, recollecting her thoughts. She knew she could easily make up a false answer to throw off the white-winged angel yet debated against it. Instead, she did what everyone else issuing a tour would do—ignore his ridiculous question and presume on with the presentation.

"Over the years, the Shopper merged with the Smashfield Times, Post, Globe, Homs News and Hot Sex Weekly to become Smashfield's number-one newspaper." The woman trotted across the room, giving the children a visual of the other newspaper joints which existed prior before merging with the Shopper. She ushered the group to follow behind as they stormed through the hallways and into the office cubicles of their employees who were engrossed with their work. There were multiple activities taking place, ranging from phone calls, casual conversation to some being glued onto their computer screens.

"Wow, a bustling metropolitan newsrooms, funneling scoops all over the globe—and to think humans were such dreary creatures," Viridi commented with a small grin as she walked past a couple of cubicles with Morgan.

"Hi, are you interested in a subscription to the Shopper?" DK politely asked on the phone.

"Low introductory rates," Daisy advertised.

"No please, you gotta help ol' Pac-Man. What's it gonna take to keep you on the phone?" he desperately begged, trying his hardest to convey himself to his client. Pac-Man's face dropped in complete confusion as he paused before continuing. "Dance for ya? But you wouldn't even see it. You—"

Pac-Man chuckled nervously, giving into his potential customer's request. "All right. I'm dancing." He started humming a small tune, tapping his feet side to side as his free arm followed its motion.

As Pac-Man continued to follow orders, meanwhile the tour guide arrived at the next destination as a man was fixated on the comic strip he was drawing.

"And this is our comic strip department," the woman introduced. "Who here reads The Adventures of Bomberman?"

Not one single student answered, making things more awkward than usual. The woman lowered her brows, frowning before brushing off the unpleasant air between them. "Let's move on."

With those words, the Smashfield middle school students moved forward. Meanwhile, the comic artist frowned, feeling devastated no one even bothered to read his work. For their next destination, the students gazed their eyes upon a storage tank with two old Gerudo women resting inside.

"This is where we store Koume and Kotake for their twenty-three hours of daily sleep."

Koume lightly raised her head and glared. "My advice is to free us or let us die!"

Dark Pit wandered over to a computer which harbored various headlines from the day someone was born. Being curious, he couldn't help but call the jovial angel over to take a look.

"Check it out Pit-stain, you can print out the headline from the day you were born."

"Ooh! Pointless nostalgia!" Pit leaned over the monitor as he began typing in his birthdate. A few seconds later, a headline from December 18, XXXX popped up which read 'Unusually Small-winged, Baby Angel Born.' Pit pointed at the screen and chortled.

"I'd sure hate to be him." He chuckled some more before groaning, receiving an eye roll in turn from his twin.

Eventually the two caught up with everyone else as tons of newspapers were being developed as they speak.

"And to protect Mother Earth, each copy contains a certain percentage of recycled paper," the tour guide informed. Viridi on the other hand, wasn't buying it. As the Goddess of Nature, she wasn't one to fall for mortal tricks, especially when they were lying about their abuse towards her beloved trees and children.

"And what percent is that?" she asked.

"Zero!" Viridi scowled at the woman, who in turn, exchanged a worried look before defending her poor excuse. "Zero's a percent."

While Viridi made a mental note to vow revenge against the newspaper factory sometime, meanwhile Pit's caught sight of a sweet smell wafting its way towards the building. The sugary aroma was enough to make his stomach rumble, capturing his complete interest.

"Hey, I smell cake." Pit sniffed the air, allowing him to visualize exactly what type of cake it was. "Cake that says—Farewell and—Best wishes!" Pit took off from the tour in search of the cake which rested inside the newspaper facility. Ness was amazed by Pit's strong sense of smell.

"Your brother has an awesome nose!" The boy complimented, glancing towards Dark Pit.

"Oh that's nothing," Dark Pit replied, flinging his hand in a gesture, emphasizing his answer. "He can hear pudding."

Inside another room, a staggering woman clutched onto a wineglass, staring at her fellow colleagues. The room was decorated with red balloons, delectable edibles as the table was covered in a cheap, yellow tablecloth intended for parties. A neatly dressed gruff looking man clutched onto his wineglass before proceeding to speak.

"So, Bayonetta, this little shindig is our way of saying farewell to our favorite food critic."

In contrast, Bayonetta looked less than pleased with the entire set up, completely disappointed in their taste. "What can I say except thanks for the predictable champagne, pizza that's hardly numero uno and ice cream cake which reminds us why make thirty-one flavors when you can't even get vanilla right?"

Snake shook his head in disbelief. "I wouldn't want to be married to her. I mean, again."

While they were caught up in the Umbra Witch's disgust over the lackluster food and drink being provided, Pit quietly stood across the room, gorging himself with Bayonetta's retirement cake, hastily picking up the sugar-coated sponge drenched with vanilla ice cream with his hands. Everyone inside the room gawked at the angel while Bayonetta walked towards the table, staring at her defiled cake before averting her gaze towards the accomplice. The woman frowned, crossing her arms in repulsion by Pit's gluttony.

"Who are you and why are you ruining my retirement party?" Bayonetta questioned. Pit perked up, exchanging an uninterested look before placing his arms on his hips.

"I'll have you know, I wandered off from the tour." After replying, Pit proceeded to help himself to more of Bayonetta's retirement cake. Snake motioned towards the table, staring at the almost three-fourths eaten cake before giving his undivided attention towards the angel.

"Well, at least you like the food."

"Oh, I like food alright!" Pit gleefully exclaimed. The next thing Snake knew, the angel proceeded to burst out into song.

"I like pizza, I like bagels. I like hot dogs with mustard and cola-!"

"I get the picture," Snake interrupted however, Pit continued singing and prancing around.

"I'll eat curry, I could even eat a baby deer. La-la-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la! Who's that baby deer on the lawn there?"

"Enough already!" Snake interrupted with more force this time, causing Pit to frown.

"Sorry."

Snake took a minute or two to contemplate. While they were losing a valued food critic, perhaps this energetic child might be the answer they are looking for. Sure Bayonetta was one of their top critics yet Snake wanted someone more fresh, more open-minded and honest about their meals rather than someone who pried their eyes on their plate with complete skepticism.

"Hey listen," the older man simply told him. "I just had a thought. We're looking for a new food critic, someone who doesn't immediately pooh-pooh everything he eats."

"No, it usually takes a few hours," Pit answered, taking Snake's metaphor about harshly criticizing meals literally—and figuratively.

"Uh…" Snake was taken back for a slight moment, wishing he could erase that tidbit about the angel. The final thing he needed to know about some strange middle schooler who wandered off from a class tour is the schedule for his bowel movements. "Look, I'd like to give you a tryout. Write a five-hundred word sample review. If it passes muster, we'll put you on staff."

"Thanks for the chance. You'll never regret this Mr. Editing Guy!" Pit boldly exclaimed with full confidence. The angel made his way towards the exit yet halted in his tracks. Tilting his head, he peered over in Snake's direction once more.

"Before I go, can you tell me what muster means?"

Snake sighed. "Muster means to collect or assemble or in this case, inspection."

"So… passes inspection? Alright, I think I got this!"

With those words, Pit bolted out of the room not before snatching a slice of pizza on the way. Little did he know, the angel signed up more than he could bargain for.

That's it for now. As for those already familiar with the episode and have seen it, you know how this is going to end.

It was pretty difficult trying to find out who could fit Skinner's role, so I went with one of the most uptight knights I know, Frederick.

PS. If you know who replaced Groundskeeper Willie in the fic, you earn a cookie!