Uh, Not So Silent Hill
"Damn it!" Leon said, after he dropped Claire's heavy suitcase on his little tootsies.
"Leon," Claire said, running to his side. "What's happened?!"
"I dropped this fucking suitcase on my fucking foot," Leon said, as he picked Claire's suitcase off the floor and placed it neatly into the trunk of his car. "What the fuck have you got in here anyway, a millenium's supply of tampons?"
"Leon, don't say 'fuck'," Claire said, in her sweetest voice.
"I thought you liked it when I cursed like an eight-year-old," Leon said, closing the trunk.
"Yeah, in bed," Claire said, slightly embarrassed.
"Well, how about we get nasty right now, baby?" Leon said, backing Claire up against the car and rubbing his hands around her slender waist.
"You try that here and this fic'll get deleted by FanFiction.Net," Claire said, brushing him off.
"Shit," Leon said. "Ever since FanFiction.Net abolished NC-17s fics, I haven't been able to drill ya."
"You can, Leon," Claire said, "but only in private. Or as long as the author doesn't go into too much detail."
"Shit," Leon said. "Where's the fun in that?"
Leon and Claire climbed into the car. Leon started the engine as Claire pulled up a huge map.
"So, how far is this... Silent Hill, anyway?" Claire said, looking quizzically at the map.
"It's a ways," Leon said, driving off.
"Meanwhile, in Silent Hill...," the Narrator said. "Now, where's my friggin' beer? ...oh, shoot. Is this still on??"
Welcome to Silent Hill. A town like no other. Well, that's not strictly true. It's like every other town. With one small difference. Silent Hill... has a paedophile house. Oh, and every so often, a bunch of monsters appear and other creepy shit occurs. It's kind of like South Park, only spookier, and not so one dimensional. Just recently, some chick named Heather spent a rather hellish time here, fighting for her life and crap. I won't go into too much detail. I hear Silent Hill 3 isn't out in the US yet. You poor souls. Anyways, things have settled down here lately. But something's been stirring...
"Well, here we are, sugarcake," Leon said, as he and Claire drove into the foggy town of Noisy, uh, Silent Hill.
"Oh, it's beautiful, Leon," Claire said, smiling.
Leon and Claire drove into the parking lot of the Silent Hill Travel Inn. After turning off the engine, and unloading their luggage, the lovers entered the Inn. One of those tall things with the huge eyeball was standing behind the counter in the lobby. Strangely, it was wearing a suit.
"Ah!" Claire said.
"Hellooo!" the Creature said in a Mrs. Doubtfire kind of way.
"What the fuck...?!" Leon said, amazed. "What the fuck...?!"
"My name is Joe," the Creature said. "Eyeball Joe."
"What the fucking hell are you?" Leon said. "A tall talking eyeball creature on stalks?!"
"Yes, that's exactly what I am," Joe said. "Name?"
"What?!" Leon said.
"Name?" Joe said. "What name are you booked under?"
"Oh, uh, Kennedy," Leon said. "Mr. and Mrs. Kennedy."
"Ah, yes," Joe said, as he checked the computer. "You're in Room 101."
"101?" Leon said. "Sounds scary."
"It isn't," Joe said. "Big Fat Frankie here will show you to your room."
One of those big lumps of blubber (you'll know what I mean if you've played Silent Hill 3 or if you've seen the screenshots) walked into the lobby. The strange thing about the creature was that, like our big eyeball friend, it was wearing a suit. Weird, huh?
"Damn, these things are heavy," Frankie said, as he lifted the cases off the floor. "What've you got in here, a millenium's supply of contraceptives?"
"Fuck you," Leon said.
"Sir!" Joe said. "Please, language like that is forbidden here!"
"Sorry," Leon said.
"Follow me," Frankie said, as he walked off upstairs.
"Come on, Claire," Leon said, following Frankie.
Claire, still a little freaked out about this whole situation, simply stood there, motionless.
"Right oh, I'm bored now," the Narrator said. "Maybe I'll write some more later, if I'm feeling up to it. I'm off to play Silent Hill 3. Jealous? ...you're jealous. Oh, crap. Is this thing still on again?!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TO BE CONTINUED... (whenever I'm ready)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Damn it!" Leon said, after he dropped Claire's heavy suitcase on his little tootsies.
"Leon," Claire said, running to his side. "What's happened?!"
"I dropped this fucking suitcase on my fucking foot," Leon said, as he picked Claire's suitcase off the floor and placed it neatly into the trunk of his car. "What the fuck have you got in here anyway, a millenium's supply of tampons?"
"Leon, don't say 'fuck'," Claire said, in her sweetest voice.
"I thought you liked it when I cursed like an eight-year-old," Leon said, closing the trunk.
"Yeah, in bed," Claire said, slightly embarrassed.
"Well, how about we get nasty right now, baby?" Leon said, backing Claire up against the car and rubbing his hands around her slender waist.
"You try that here and this fic'll get deleted by FanFiction.Net," Claire said, brushing him off.
"Shit," Leon said. "Ever since FanFiction.Net abolished NC-17s fics, I haven't been able to drill ya."
"You can, Leon," Claire said, "but only in private. Or as long as the author doesn't go into too much detail."
"Shit," Leon said. "Where's the fun in that?"
Leon and Claire climbed into the car. Leon started the engine as Claire pulled up a huge map.
"So, how far is this... Silent Hill, anyway?" Claire said, looking quizzically at the map.
"It's a ways," Leon said, driving off.
"Meanwhile, in Silent Hill...," the Narrator said. "Now, where's my friggin' beer? ...oh, shoot. Is this still on??"
Welcome to Silent Hill. A town like no other. Well, that's not strictly true. It's like every other town. With one small difference. Silent Hill... has a paedophile house. Oh, and every so often, a bunch of monsters appear and other creepy shit occurs. It's kind of like South Park, only spookier, and not so one dimensional. Just recently, some chick named Heather spent a rather hellish time here, fighting for her life and crap. I won't go into too much detail. I hear Silent Hill 3 isn't out in the US yet. You poor souls. Anyways, things have settled down here lately. But something's been stirring...
"Well, here we are, sugarcake," Leon said, as he and Claire drove into the foggy town of Noisy, uh, Silent Hill.
"Oh, it's beautiful, Leon," Claire said, smiling.
Leon and Claire drove into the parking lot of the Silent Hill Travel Inn. After turning off the engine, and unloading their luggage, the lovers entered the Inn. One of those tall things with the huge eyeball was standing behind the counter in the lobby. Strangely, it was wearing a suit.
"Ah!" Claire said.
"Hellooo!" the Creature said in a Mrs. Doubtfire kind of way.
"What the fuck...?!" Leon said, amazed. "What the fuck...?!"
"My name is Joe," the Creature said. "Eyeball Joe."
"What the fucking hell are you?" Leon said. "A tall talking eyeball creature on stalks?!"
"Yes, that's exactly what I am," Joe said. "Name?"
"What?!" Leon said.
"Name?" Joe said. "What name are you booked under?"
"Oh, uh, Kennedy," Leon said. "Mr. and Mrs. Kennedy."
"Ah, yes," Joe said, as he checked the computer. "You're in Room 101."
"101?" Leon said. "Sounds scary."
"It isn't," Joe said. "Big Fat Frankie here will show you to your room."
One of those big lumps of blubber (you'll know what I mean if you've played Silent Hill 3 or if you've seen the screenshots) walked into the lobby. The strange thing about the creature was that, like our big eyeball friend, it was wearing a suit. Weird, huh?
"Damn, these things are heavy," Frankie said, as he lifted the cases off the floor. "What've you got in here, a millenium's supply of contraceptives?"
"Fuck you," Leon said.
"Sir!" Joe said. "Please, language like that is forbidden here!"
"Sorry," Leon said.
"Follow me," Frankie said, as he walked off upstairs.
"Come on, Claire," Leon said, following Frankie.
Claire, still a little freaked out about this whole situation, simply stood there, motionless.
"Right oh, I'm bored now," the Narrator said. "Maybe I'll write some more later, if I'm feeling up to it. I'm off to play Silent Hill 3. Jealous? ...you're jealous. Oh, crap. Is this thing still on again?!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TO BE CONTINUED... (whenever I'm ready)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~