A/N I don't own New Girl I wish I did but I'm just not that cool. I have never written fan fiction before in fact I haven't written a story since I was about ten years old so please forgive me if this is awful, honestly I can't really judge for myself. I love the tension between Nick and Jess and I adore the fiction that allows them to be together already, I would really appreciate reviews and critiques to this starter chapter I know its not very long but it was just something I felt I had to do after reading some of the excellent stories here.

Please read and review thanks loads Dee :-)

(I've revisited and revised this chapter a little, it felt a bit out of sync with the direction of the story. I may do this from time to time with my chapters as I self edit and I don't always like my phrasing or sentence structure. As a ocd-ish kinda person I expect small changes will be made constantly)

He's a pretty emotional guy. He knew it, all his friends knew it and his ex most definitely knew it from his crazy stalker behaviour when they split up.

That's why he was finding his current predicament so difficult. How the hell was he supposed to keep his emotions under wraps when she was sleeping across the hall?

He's admitted his attraction to her. He tried to made it seem like it was no big deal. Just a natural thing because she's a girl and he's a guy and she's always around and really who doesn't think about what sex would be like with their friends?

His guess. The sex would be pretty hot.

The problem with all of this of course is, it is a big deal. A very big deal.

He can't imagine what life would be like without her. Especially when they are fighting and she just let's go and screams at him and he screams back and all he wants to do is push her against the wall and kiss away that damn smirk she gets.

Living with her is like walking a tightrope, petrifying and exhilarating all the time.

He couldn't leave that, he could never have gone back to Caroline and lived without the craziness.

He knows that one day it will have to end. They will have to either define their friendship as that and nothing more. Or they will have to take the step forward and give themselves over to the lust that Nick is becoming increasingly, uncomfortably aware of.

Though if he could be honest with himself, he would recognise that the lust he feels for her was there from the beginning.

He felt an inexorable pull towards her from the very first day, and that just scares the hell out of him, because Nick knows that he is an emotional guy and that the pain he felt when he split from Caroline would be nothing to the agony he suspects Jess could cause.

That's why he hasn't made a move, because rejection would kill him and it's much easier to bury his head and live on the bubble between knowing and not knowing. It's much safer, but it's difficult when all he wants to do every minute of every day is be with her. Touch her, fight with her and get her naked without another woman in the room.

Another woman, now there's a thought.

Watching her explore her sexuality with Sam was hell. Real hell. He had to keep everything under wraps that week. A fake smile plastered on his face because that's what she wanted to do and he knew it was something she probably needed to do.

There was no way he was going to give her Andy's number though. She could have liked him too much, and under no circumstances was he going to deliberately push her into the arms of someone else.

Giving her Bearclaw's number seemed like a good idea, but she felt so bad about it and he was a really good guy. Completely bat shit crazy, but a good guy and he did regret hurting him. Needs must though and he wasn't going to help her move on any more than he had to.

Maybe if he got his shit together he could finally tell her how he felt and hope she wanted what he wanted.

He was a bar tender, an employee, he didn't even own the bar. He lived off tips for fucks sake.

How could he ever hope to provide the kind of life he dreamed of, with her, working in a God damn bar?

Not that he would ever admit to wanting that kind of life. Not yet anyway.

That's why he was suddenly so focused on his Zombie novel, it might be a crazy idea to think he could get published, but it was a damn sight better than sitting on his ass waiting for a miracle to fix his problems.

If he could get the courage to start making the changes that he has needed to make since before he met Caroline, maybe one day he could eventually be good enough for her.

He's wasted so much time already and he knows if he doesn't speed up, someone will take her from him. He's not ready to give up that easy. He needs to get sorted out, fast.

It's just ironic that he's trying to sort himself out just as her life is falling apart.

He was sick of walking the fine line between friends and lovers. He was desperate to change their story. To make her want him as much as he wants her.

And most importantly he needs to make a change. As she so astutely pointed out he can't spend his whole life ignoring his potential.

He just hoped she'd still be there when he was finished.

And that she wanted him.

He really hopes that she'll want him.