In The Shadows - part one (reformatted)
Summary: Jack becomes increasingly frustrated at his situation with Sam and decides to fix things, with dire consequences for both Sam and the rest of the team.
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters nor make any profit from my writing.
Part One...
The sun had set nearly an hour ago and Colonel Jack O'Neill was standing first watch over their campsite. The light in Daniels tent showed that he was still awake, pouring over footage of the ruins they had discovered that day - trying to decipher the inscriptions on the crumbling walls in their ever-constant search for an advantage over the Goa'uld.
Teal'c was nowhere to be seen, probably resting by now he thought as he shifted the grip he had on his rifle and turned to make another circuit through the edge of the surrounding trees. Moving almost silently, feet stepping instinctively over or around the forest debris as he stalked through the dark.
Glancing back to the campsite he saw Captain Carter emerge from her tent and scan the tree line, turning in a slow circuit and shielding her eyes from the glowing embers of their fire. He stepped forward and waved, his face and hand showing white against the black backdrop as he left the cover of the forest and allowed the light of the moon to illuminate his skin. Sam smiled as she saw him and made her way over.
"hi there Colonel", she said quietly.
"hi there Carter". he smiled briefly, his eyes still scanning the surrounding area before coming to rest once more upon her luminous features. Her eyes were large in the darkness and she was overwhelmingly lovely to him as always. His heart fluttered before he ruthlessly suppressed it, forcing back the thoughts he knew to be wholly inappropriate, swallowing them down and silencing their demands.
"So watcha doing?", he asked jovially. Make everything a joke, if she couldn't take him seriously then she would never be tempted to blurt out the unthinkable, the unretractable, the career and life destroying words that might otherwise spring from her lips if the moment became too intense.
"I couldn't sleep, mind if I keep you company for a while, its my watch next anyway?", Carter asked softly.
"sure Captain, knock yourself out".
Sam smiled in response and they stood in silence for a while, admiring the beauty of the world by moonlight and listening to the myriad noises produced by the sleeping forest.
Jack wandered casually over to a large, fallen tree and sat unceremoniously on the log, propping his feet against a rock and folding his arms over his gun. Sam followed suit and perched herself a little further up, sitting on her hands and swinging her legs gently, letting her boots tap gently against each other.
Darkness may have made it seem a safe place to rest but the log was balanced precariously on a jutting piece of rock and with the weight of them both suddenly leaning on it the fallen wood shifted and toppled them both over into the undergrowth of the other side. Jack rolled awkwardly because of his gun and as he got to his knees he realised that Sam was already standing, her shoulders shaking in silent laughter at them both - he grinned ruefully back as she reached down an arm to pull him up.
He grasped her forearm tightly and levered himself up quickly, her tug pulled him a little off balance as he got to his feet and he ended up staring right down into her upturned face. They both froze, unable to move, desperately wanting to remain in such close proximity and yet also painfully aware that they should not. Neither one moved. Sam could not tear her eyes from his, cursing herself inside for looking up at him in this way and yet unable to muster strength enough to step back. Jack was equally bound, screaming within his own head to turn away, look away, move away but he could not, would not, did not. A cloud sculled in front of the distended moon and they were plunged into almost complete darkness.
Jack felt Sam's lips upon his and he was unable to say if it had been him or her who had moved closer, closing those final few inches and sealing the kiss. Her lips burned him, his body was on fire and yet encased in ice and immobile - he could neither break the kiss nor deepen it. Their lips remained together, motionless and barely touching, barely even enough to call it a kiss. The cloud cleared the swollen light of the moon and their eyes met, too close to focus but enough to become aware of each others faces, skin taking on an unearthly hue in the lunar glow.
Jack opened his mouth a little and leaned, ever-so-slightly further into the kiss and Sam wrapped her arms about his neck with loving abandon. It seemed to last forever, neither dared breaking the contact for even a moment - their embrace grew stronger even. Jack pulling Sam into him despite his rifle resting between them.
Jack released her, momentarily and brought his hands around her shoulders to hold her face gently. He looked down into her beautiful face and liquid eyes - so full of unadulterated love, unrequited love so close to fulfillment, so full of hope and yet wary; the set of her expression dictated, louder than words, how nervous she was - how forbidden their actions were.
Reality came crashing back in an instant and they sprung apart, looking guiltily about for signs that their illicit encounter had been witnessed. Shock was apparent in both their features and jack's heart pounded so fast, so loudly he could hear the rush of his pulse through his ears. He stepped back again and nearly faltered, his heart - wound to breaking point for so long - finally broke and he thought the sound of it was loud enough that even Sam should hear it.
They faced each other in silence, breathing heavily as they digested their act of weakness, their moment of madness. Sam stammered as she tried to speak. "ssir I ...".
"I'm sorry Carter".
"dont be, please dont be, I..." she faltered once more, unable to find the words.
"what the hell were you thinking! what the hell was I thinking?" his outburst was sudden and angry, almost a shout in the quiet night. She stood stunned before him, pain etched across her face as she struggled to find the right thing to say.
He lifted the rifle over his head, breaking their gaze and refusing to meet her eyes again. "It's your watch", he said dispassionately, thrusting the cold gun towards her. He turned abruptly and stalked towards the camp, never looking back as she stood stock-still and silent beneath the leafy canopy.
She pulled the gun strap over her head and adjusted it to suit her grip. Heartbroken and confused and more lonely than she had ever felt with the rest of the team so close she began a slow circuit of the site. Tears shone in her eyes and she blinked them away, ignoring them as they trickled from her eyes like twin rivulets of mercury, clearing her vision for the task ahead.
To be continued...