Spring Cleaning

AN: This is a prize fic for Talliya, for winning in the Valenwind-Luvers contest on deviantart.

Springtime in Rocket Town was a warm affair, encouraging blossoms to open and wild flowers to dapple every available patch of grass. Hay fever suffers were known to be suicidal at this time, and Cid was glad he wasn't one of them. The morning of the second week of spring found him enjoying the hot sun, rifling through a pile of hydraulic parts in his back garden. He was so engrossed he failed to recognize that niggling sixth sense that alerted him to an approaching presence – until it blew softly onto the shell of his ear.

"What the fuck!?" He jumped, swatting at the air.

When he turned around, Vincent stood watching in amusement. He rarely smiled physically, but the taunting gleam in his eyes more than made up for it.

"Damnit, Vince," Cid mumbled, rubbing his ear. It was one of his exposed erogenous zones, and Vincent knew how to abuse it. Bastard. "How long yer been standing there?"

"Not long."

"Creep." Cid reached forward and threaded his fingers through the back of Vincent's hair, bringing their lips together. When they parted, he adopted a mischievous grin. "Glad yer back, I've been horny since yer left two weeks ago. S'a long time to hold back."

"You held back?" Vincent raised one mocking eyebrow.

Cid made a face and, in retaliation, pushed him backwards towards the house door while nimbly picking the buckles on the cape. His distraction technique worked better with his mouth all over Vincent's, leaving the ex-Turk with little focus left. They stumbled through the house and into the kitchen, bumping into the table where they proceeded their debauchery. The cape floated to the floor and Cid's shirt was halfway up his torso before someone coughed pointedly. They froze.

Yuffie wore an impish grin from the front door, boldly watching the action before her. Behind, Tifa, Marlene and Red entered, casting a curious look at the scene on the kitchen table.

"Interrupt, did we?" Yuffie drawled.

Cid growled and both he and Vincent straightened up, tugging the pilot's shirt back down. "Yes," Cid shot back, glaring at her. What a way to kill a boner. "What're you lot doin' here?"

"It's spring cleaning time!" Marlene exclaimed, running into the house.

Cid turned his eyes on Tifa. "What?"

Tifa smiled, closing the door behind her. "We've just finished Seventh Heaven's spring cleaning. Marlene wanted to do Uncle Cid's house, too. She really enjoyed it, she got to go through boxes and find hidden things. She found a few gil, too."

Cid cast a look back where the little girl had disappeared. "…There're some… questionable things in this house." He informed her slowly, meaningfully.

Tifa's smile wiped away. "Marlene!" She called, rushing away to find her.

"Oh, this is a bad idea," Yuffie said. She cast her eyes over the kitchen windowsill, catching sight of the layer of dust. "But if any place needs work if the home of two bachelors."

"We're not bachelors!" Cid replied indignantly.

Yuffie waved a hand dismissively. "Yeah, yeah, two husbands, then, you know what I mean. Vinnie's not here half the time and I doubt you know the difference between a broom and a toilet brush."

Affronted, Cid crossed his arms. "Of course I fuckin' do. A broom can deal way more damage than a toilet brush."

"Not as a weapon!" Yuffie chided.

Red and Vincent shook their heads.

/

Twenty minutes later, after fetching and gathering all the household cleaning supplies (and sending Cid to the local store to buy what was missing) he found himself shoved into his workroom with a soft-bristled broom, much to his chagrin (I just wanna have sex, Damnit!). He didn't have the heart to send them away, especially considering Marlene enjoyed visiting Cid and Vincent so much in Rocket Town. That, and now Cid's attention was drawn to it, his home really did house more dust bunnies than he'd noticed (Shera used to sort that stuff out). Still, having to do cleaning of all things instead of humping the living shit out of Vincent was not Cid's idea of an enjoyable visit. He had scoured his rooms quickly and thrown his strewn dirty clothes in the hamper, finding nothing too bad for Marlene to discover. He still expected Tifa to march in and thrust some obscene item in his face, raving about his neglect in the presence of a child, threatening to call Barret – because, damn, that gunman could really shout when his daughter's welfare was concerned. Cid didn't have that much to hide, because when someone has a partner like Vincent, toys and accessories don't really measure up. Not that Cid had ever considered such things…

Tifa poked her head into the room. "Don't forget to dust the lights," she told him cheerily, glancing at the tube light fixtures.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he waved away her memo with a grumble. None of the team wanted to touch his workroom in fear they might damage the engine he was working on, so he was on his own. He finished the floors and lifted his broom to the lights, wrinkling his nose as he swept away the cobwebs that had accumulated.

"How's it going?" Yuffie burst around the door frame.

Cid's broom jerked. SMASH. He clamped his eyes shut as LED rained down on him. When he opened them he spun around. "What the hell do yer think, bargin' in here like that – yer scared the shit outta me!"

"Uncle Cid has to put 50 gil in the swear jar," Marlene appeared, drawn to the sound of breaking.

Cid bit his tongue and calmed his temper. "We don't have a swear jar."

"I'll go find one!" And the little girl disappeared, calling Tifa's name as she went.

"She's gonna be rich today," Yuffie smirked. When Cid brandished the broom at her she dashed away, out of sight.

/

It took Cid an hour and a half to bring his workroom up to Tifa's cleaning standards, after which he found himself over 200 gil poorer, and increasingly irate. He propped his broom against the wall in the kitchen as Tifa and Marlene went to town on his refrigerator.

"Eeew, what's that?" Marlene pulled something out, clutched in her too-big rubber gloves.

"I think it was an onion at one point," Tifa made a face, opening the garbage bag they had settled between them (and which was already partly full). She cast a chiding look at Cid.

Cid shrugged. Eh. "Where's my man?"

"No hanky panky 'til we're dooooone," Tifa sang mockingly for Marlene's benefit.

"Or you have to put 10,000 gil in the jar!" Marlene exclaimed grandly.

Cid's eyebrows shot up. "W-what?" He half laughed, half choked.

"Daddy told me to tell you that you had to pay 10,000 gil if I saw you smooching with Uncle Vincent," the little girl said innocently, dumping something else unrecognizable into the bag.

Barret, the bastard. Cid caught Tifa's eye and mouthed, can she count that high? Tifa smiled and shook her head. "Phew," Cid sighed. "I'm gonna go, um, change my shirt," he lied, although only Tifa knew his truth, evidenced by her stink-eye.

He not-so-obviously made his way from the kitchen, following his internal radar that always guided him to Vincent. Cid found himself in the living room, watching Yuffie shove the vacuum machine under the couch – which was currently being held up by a not-so-amused Vincent. He leveled a very serious, much perfected deadpan face at Cid.

"I need to borrow Vincent," Cid said, all business like, directing an I-art-better-than-thou look at the ninja.

She turned a less than impressed eye on his excuse. "I bet you do," she retorted. "Well you'll have to wait. He's gotta lift that unit next."

Cid glanced at his oak unit. It took two men to get it in, but Vincent could probably lift it with one hand. Still, it was expensive, and it didn't need to be 'lifted' anytime soon.

"Just vacuum around it," Cid told her, watching the machine and wondering where the hell it had come from. "I need Vince to lift the machine in my workshop."

She narrowed her eyes at him, but finally relented, waving away the gunman. "Fine. But hurry back."

Vincent literally dropped the couch, resulting in a huge BOOM (which he did look regretful about) and followed Cid from the living room.

"Uncle Vincent!" Came the call of a little girl. "Can you lift the refrigerator?"

Cid made a strangled noise of frustration as Vincent offered him a sympathetic look and wandered off to the kitchen. Behind, Yuffie grabbed Cid and dragged him back into the living room, ranting about how he had taken away her furniture mover. She then bullied him into lifting the couch for the rest of her vacuuming. At the end of it, Cid's arms and back were aching, and thanks to his daydreaming, he was even hornier. He would have to cool off before he ended up walking around with a tent in his pants.

Yuffie released him from her tyrannical orders and he headed back into the kitchen. Tifa and Marlene had finished with the refrigerator and were scrubbing down the countertops. Vincent was absent, but his cape was over a chair at the kitchen table.

"Where's Vince?" Cid asked.

Tifa looked up, a soapy sponge in her rubber-gloved hand. "We told him to change into something more practical. That leather would get damaged."

"And his cape kept getting in the way," Marlene added.

Cid neglected to remind them that Vincent's clothes mended on their own, but it made sense. All the dust and activity called for looser wear.

"If you're finished in the living room you can get started on all the windows," Tifa told him.

Looking at her blankly, all Cid could utter was, "eh?"

She rolled her eyes. "Clean them."

"Oh, right. All of them?"

"Yes."

Cid glanced at the pile of cleaning items and thought deviously. "Yer know what, maybe I should get changed, too. Don't wanna muck up my –" He looked down at his less than crisp clothes. " – Good stuff…"

Tifa raised an eyebrow.

Ignoring her, he left the kitchen and climbed the stairs. He cracked open the door to his bedroom and, like he suspected, Vincent was inside getting changed. He was just pulling on a pair of old, dark jeans, giving Cid a more than satisfactory view of his ass before he straightened and slid them up his hips. The pilot stepped into the room and closed the door.

"Don't bother zippin' up," Cid told him, pressing against the man's back, stilling his hands. He placed a kiss along the smooth, exposed skin of Vincent's neck. "Finally got yer alone."

"This isn't wise with a small child in the house," Vincent mused, turning his head regardless and catching Cid's lips.

"Then we'll have to make this quick," Cid stated, turning Vincent around and pushing him to the bed.

Vincent's knees hit the mattress and he tumbled onto it. Almost immediately Cid followed, running his hands over the gunman's naked chest, kissing him senseless. Vincent wrapped his longs legs around him and flipped them, gaining the upper hand before pushing Cid's top up.

"Cid!" The door flew open.

Vincent was so startled he jerked back and promptly fell off Cid, hitting the floor with a loud THUD.

"I thought you were both changing," Yuffie accused, lifting an eyebrow at them.

On his elbows, Cid growled. "Give us a few more minutes and we'd both be changin' clothes."

The young girl rolled her eyes. "Keep it in your pants until we're finished, at least. Marlene says you've got all the outside windows to do."

Cid reluctantly got to his feet, hauling Vincent up, too. "That girl is gonna grow up to be a leader one day. She can sure give orders."

Yuffie turned to leave. "Must be from Tifa because it ain't from Cloud or Barret. Oh, and Vincent, your fly's open." And she disappeared back downstairs.

Cid watched forlornly as Vincent finally did up his jeans. "Wanna help me with the windows?" He tried hopefully.

Vincent gave him a look.

Cid sighed. "Fine. See yer in a bit."

Several minutes later he was finally outside working suds around the glass pane of the kitchen window. The sun beat down on his back and the flies buzzed persistently around his head. Occasionally he lashed out at them, and on one such unfortunate attempt he lost his grip on the cloth and it splattered straight across the face of a passing neighbor. They were not amused.

When it came to the top windows he fetched his ladder from the back garden and braced it against the house. Fifteen minutes after working his way around the building he climbed up to his bathroom window and sloshed the soppy cloth against the glass.

No sooner had he done this than a ghostly palm slammed against the inside pane.

"Whoa!" Cid cried, startled. He teetered back, arms wind-milling frantically as his entire ladder started to pull away from the wall. It was lucky he landed in a thick bush. But it was unlucky he landed in a rose bush. "Oooooow! Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

The bathroom window slid open and Yuffie stuck her head out. "Cid?" She called down. "What're you doing?"

"Gettin' my ass kicked by a fuckin' bush!" He yelled angrily, picking himself out of the thorny flowers and failing to avoid more damage.

"Gil jar!" Marlene's voice floated from inside the house.

Cid felt the little vein on his forehead throbbing. He plucked out the thorns still stuck in his skin and checked out the damage. He had small puncture wounds everywhere. Still, he gritted his teeth, told Yuffie to shove her head back inside, and climbed back up to finish his windows.

When he had done them all, his arm was sore, his skin was burnt and his whole body stung with a hundred pin pricks. He trudged into the kitchen and kicked off his boots. The floors were pristine and the surfaces were spotless. The girls had gone elsewhere. He moved into the living room but it was empty. Curious, he climbed the stairs and heard the sound of giggling.

"Look at this one!" Yuffie's voice drew him towards the spare bedroom.

Cid stepped into the door, greeted by the sight of the three girls, Red and Vincent sat or kneeling around several boxes, their contents of which were sprawled out on the carpet. The attic hatch hung open behind them.

"What the heeelleeeck are yer doin'?" Cid asked, belatedly converting his cuss into something that wouldn't land him a trip to the swear jar.

"Looking at your old photos," Tifa smiled mischievously. She was holding a few snapshots in her hand, and so were Marlene and Yuffie.

"You looked so cute when you were a boy," Yuffie teased, smirking in great amusement.

Cid snatched the photo she was waving and looked at it. The image was taken when he was eleven, he was in the middle of dodging what looked like a water balloon, his mouth open in a silent yell, but he was obviously enjoying himself.

"Your hair was really blond," Yuffie commented, looking at another photo. "Like, Cloud-blond."

"Where the heck did yer find these?" Cid demanded, looking at the mass of photos on the floor.

"In the attic," Tifa replied, gesturing to the old, worn cardboard boxes. "They were hidden behind a crate of old blueprints."

Cid picked up some more. He had forgotten there were boxes of family photos in his loft. They dated back to when he was still in diapers. "Damn, Ma loved her camera."

Yuffie picked up another photo and burst into cackles. "Bwahaha, Cid aged five, with no clothes – look at his little pee-pee!"

Cid dived for the offending photo but Vincent grabbed it before him. The gunman gave an uncharacteristic snort of amusement and a smirk curled at his lips, even after Cid wrestled the picture from his hand.

"That's it!" Cid exclaimed. "No more photos! Get this stuff boxed back up!"

"Oh, don't be a sour puss," Tifa tittered. "Look, this one isn't embarrassing. Actually… what's going on here?"

Cid bent down and looked at the picture she was holding out. "That's a special awards ceremony. I had to wear that shi – uh – bad lookin' suit 'cause it was a formal thing. Those guys were the presenters, and this one went on to fund my scholarship." He pointed at one of the men.

"What were you getting an award for?" Red asked.

"I created a fully functional, mini, motorized plane."

They stared at him.

"But you're like, eleven in this picture." Yuffie stated.

"Twelve. And yeah, I knew what I wanted to be at an early age."

Vincent stood up sudden, earning everyone's focus. "Ladies, Red," he addressed everyone, his manner void of the humor of moments ago. "I would appreciate it if you took a trip into town for a couple of hours."

The gravity of his tone and the serious gleam in his eye left no one wanting to ask why. They glanced at each other but rose to their feet, assuming Vincent wanted to have a few stern words with the pilot. For whatever reason. They left and after another minute the sound of them pulling on their shoes left the kitchen. Silence reigned.

Cid felt like he was in the shithouse. He glanced disconcertedly at his partner, who brushed past him out of the room. Befuddled as hell, Cid followed him to their bedroom where he witnessed Vincent taking off his black top.

"Uh, what the hell?" Cid asked.

Vincent flashed a pair of bright, crimson eyes at him. The severity had gone and in its place was shining lust. "Hearing of your genius-child status was more than a turn on," he answered smoothly. He dropped his top to the floor and tugged Cid closer by the hem of his. "I knew you were smart, but I didn't realize how much."

"Smart-guy-me gets yer hot, huh?" Cid grinned, placing his hands on Vincent's hips.

"You wanted some time together," Vincent told him. "I brought us it."

"Oh, I intent to thank yer properly," Cid drawled, kissing him firmly like a man in need.

It was a few minutes later, as they were tumbling about on bed, naked and in the heat of passion, Marlene burst into the room.

"Sorry Uncle Cid, I forgot my –" She began, child-like innocence and impulsiveness causing her to stop and stare.

Cid and Vincent froze.

Marlene pointed at them. "10,000 gill in the jar!"

Cid groaned and pulled the covers over his head.

/

END