for shay, who requested alscor on tumblr.
wc: 580
. . .
Albus Potter wants what he can't have and he hates himself for it.
Scorpius. Scorpius Malfoy, his best friend, and soon to be his cousin-in-law. Rose Granger-Weasley is going to become Rose Malfoy. She'll bear the name Albus wants to be his, she'll hold the hands Albus wants to hold.
He wouldn't have come if Scorpius hadn't made him best man. He should have said no — he should have said something. But it was Scorpius, and Albus was delighted enough to know he meant something to him, and Albus is weak, so he said yes. And now he's holding a ring he wants on his finger and he hates himself for it.
There will be others, he consoles himself. There will be — but none of them are Scorpius, his best friend, his family in all but blood, the one person who hadn't and would never care about his name.
The wedding is simple. They hold it at the Burrow — over the years, it's become somewhat of a tradition to get wedded there. The Granger-Weasleys had, and so had Albus's own parents, and Uncle Bill and Aunt Fleur had, too. It's a tradition to have Grandma and Grandpa smiling with wrinkled faces and for Uncle George to wink and put a little something in the champagne.
Albus wants this with Scorpius. He wants it so much — he wants it too much.
But it's too late now. He watches the minister conduct the ceremony and he watches Rose and Scorpius say their I do's and he watches his own hands extend, rings in their palms, glittering diamonds, glittering happiness; he can't see the smile he forces on his face, but he can see the smile on Scorpius's lips, small but still beautiful. He watches Scorpius, eyes only on Rose. He watches them kiss. He hates them for it.
In the end Albus has to speak, and he raises his glass and taps a fork to it and his mouth moves of its own volition, reciting the speech it has practiced. His voice does not belong to him — it sounds cheery. It sounds happy.
"Scorpius is more than just a friend to me," he begins. It's truer than they'll know. "He's a brother. He's like family. He's my best friend, and we've been walking along the same road together for as long as I can remember. And Rose — Rose is my beautiful cousin. Smarter than anyone can comprehend. She's been turning her nose up at me for as long as I can remember." A laugh rises from the crowd, and one bubbles out of his own throat. It is not his laugh. "And I cannot for the life of me think of anyone better for these two than each other. Scorpius, Rose, I raise my glass to you, and I cannot, for the life of me, be any happier for you or prouder for you. So here's to Scorpius." Albus takes a sip out of his glass. His mouth is not his own when he swallows. "And here is to Rose. I wish the best for you in married life."
Everyone claps. Everyone is laughing. Albus makes himself clap and he makes himself laugh, too. And the happy couple comes over to him, and Albus smiles at them. They are bright and glowing and ethereal, and they are thanking him for his speech full of lies, and Albus accepts their gratitude and he hates himself for it.