The sun began to set as everyone entered the house. You helped set the dinner table happy to see a fresh meal that you could actually enjoy instead of eating either beans or corn out of a can. The last one to come in the house had an aura of irritation surrounding her. You worried about her. Your sister seemed to always be in a bad mood and everytime you tried talking to her about it always ends with her either blowing you off or yelling things you try to recover from.
You seated yourself at the head of the table, your sister to your right next to Andrea and Lori. Everyone felt weary as the turn of events of the passed few days worn all of you out. Sophia was found and yet taken, everyone was at odds as to what to do with the boy in the barn, the entire Greene family was trying to recover from the previous event. All you wished for was a small break, a win if anything instead of having a giant boulder of problems weighing everyone down.
"Y/n, would you please start the prayer?" Hershel asked as he was seated next to you on the left.
"Of course." Heads bowed and hands together, you began the prayer. "Dear Lord, thank you for blessing us with a fine meal that these sweet women of the farm had made for us. Thank you for having shown us that good people are still out there in this cruel world and for having all of us still together-" A low chuckle came out from the table. Everyone slowly raised their heads to see who it came from and as you feared, it came from your sister. "Is there something funny?" you said with a stern look on your face. You knew what was coming and you had to get things under control.
"All of us together? Really? I can count that there are more than five people who should be here missing." She said with an attitude you recognized all too well. It was something normal but lately she had a chip on her shoulder. She was more angry all the time, waiting to pick a fight.
"You know well enough what I mean. Do not do this now."
"What? Make you look bad? Make you look stupid? You would hate that wouldn't you?" She said with eyes squinting at you. "I bet you were overjoyed when she died." The last bit came out quieter, like a deadly predator.
"Stop. We will talk about this later." You said in a stern voice once more.
"No I don't want later I want now! I want everyone to see how fake you are. Pretending to be some sort of saint. That you weren't in the wrong for leaving mom like that. For them to eat! And everytime we talk about her you always gotta make her to be the bad guy." You looked down at your plate with guilt in your eyes. You felt your face heat up and took a deep breath.
"You don't know her the way I did. I sheltered you from her and maybe that's my fault for doing that. She was a drunk and remember that the only reason you ever gotten a decent life was because of me." You took a peek back at her and then look down at your dinner.
"Oh my god! When are you going to stop hanging that over my head?!" She said exasperated. She had heard you made this speech several times whenever the both of you argued beginning when she was a teenager. She got what you were saying, so why do you constantly bring it up?
"When you start to understand that all we got is each other and that you need to start respecting me. And not because of that but because I am trying."
"And like I don't deserve some respect! All my life you've treated me like a baby."
"I had to become a mother at the age of 12 because your real mom didn't want nothing to do with being one! The only reason you remember her in such a positive way was because I hid the real her from you as long as I can! And I know you're grown but I can't help look at you more than my baby!" You tried hard to contain your composure as you felt that you were about to cry., You swallowed the lump in your throat. You needed her to understand but each time, she just refused to let what you say sink in. "Until you show me that you're more than that then I will start treating you like the woman you can be but right now, your attitude and your actions show that you are still a child."
"Oh, and what do you want? An award?" Your sister said sarcastically. "And me! Being a child?! You treating me like a baby is the entire reason she died! If you treated me like the adult that I am, I could've fought them off and gotten her back!"
"If I had lettin you go you would've been just as dead as her or worse and then what would I have to live for!?" The sentence came out firm, declaring the reason why you did what you did back when everything went into frenzy. When the world finally cracked and everyone went into hysteria.
"Well sometimes I wish you were the one they got instead of her! Then you wouldn't be living for much anymore now would you?!" your sister shouted across the dinner table. Everything went silent. You whipped your head to her with wide eyes. You swallowed the lump in your throat again and kept yourself composed. As soon as she realized what came out of her mouth she instantly felt regret and went to say her apologies only for you to stand up with small bit of silence to follow. "I'm sorry everyone for disrupting dinner." You then look towards her, trying hard to not let any tears spill, to keep yourself looking strong. "And I'm sorry that God decided for her to go and not me but understand that all that I do, I do for you." and then you left as your sisters eyes followed you out with a horrified stunned look on her face.
"I gotta-" your sister said as she rose herself from her seat.
"Naw, let me. She'll need some space." Daryl said as he headed towards the door. Andrea wrapped an arm around your sister as she told her things would be alright and to give you some time. That these kind of things happened. Everything was now uneasy in the house as no one knew how to go on with the night. As they all thought to who they lost. Although they knew it was out of anger, they knew your sister was right. There were people that should still be here but they also knew that they wouldn't have gone if God didn't intend for them to go.
You headed into the RV and took a seat at the table. You tried to hold off the tears for a little longer but you couldn't do it anymore. Keeping up the facade of being strong only made you breakdown each time and the worst part was breaking down by yourself. It only made you feel more alone as you made sure for your sister to see you put together and not like this. If she saw you like this, she might've taken joy, or worse, she would lose the hope that things would be alright. If she saw that you didn't believe it then all hope would really be lost. You couldn't do that. Some days you felt as if things would be alright but most of the time you felt that there was no end and if there was, it wasn't an ending anyone would want.
As Daryl walked towards the RV, he could hear you quietly sobbing. He stood there for a minute, not really knowing what to do. Feelings were not his forte but he couldn't help but want to stop the pain. They've all been through enough and he knew there was more mud and blood to get through but if he could help with this kind of pain, hell, he'll do it. Slowly he came inside the RV, waiting by the entrance. He'll do what he can. You had your head against the glass, looking out towards the unforsaken world with the idea that maybe there really isn't much hope left.
"Ya alright?" His voice startled you. You sniffed and looked towards the window trying to discreetly wipe away your tears.
"Uh, yeah I'm fine. Just needed some space to think and all." You said as you turned and gave a weak smile.
"You know she don't mean that though, right?" you looked down at your hands on your lap and gave yourself a thought.
"Yeah...Still hurts though." Daryl came a little closer standing by the seat across from you. "I know it's wrong of me to tell her things about our mom to change how she views her. In my head I thought it was a good idea after she got taken. Tell her and maybe she wouldn't cry every night about her. I shoulda known it wouldn't since I'd catch myself crying about her too."
"I know what ya mean. Merle, he's a total asshole to me and everyone he knew. Treated me like shit but he's still my brother ya know? I try to either think that he's alright somewhere and other times I just think of how much of an asshole he is... Blood is blood. They're always gonna be apart of ya." You then look at Daryl. For someone so quiet, you should of known that he has a lot to say. You just didn't know they'd be wise.
"She thinks I hated her and I did at times but like you said, blood is blood and no matter what, she's still my mom and I love her...I only want her to understand instead of getting so angry all the time. I know I gotta treat like an adult but it's so hard to admit it. She's always gonna be my baby girl…" you looked down at your fidgeting fingers feeling more tears slide down your cheeks. "Maybe it was wrong of me to not show her who her real mom is but I couldn't let her grow up the way I did…" a choked sob came out of you. "I use to make her sleep either in my bed or go over to one of her better off friends for the night whenever mama brought over a man. I wouldn't sleep the whole night…" your shoulders shook as you lowered your head even more. Crying at the memories. Daryl felt for you. You both grew up with a shitty childhood and he could understand your reasoning for sheltering your sister from it. If he had a youngling himself, he'd do the same.
"Hey…" Daryl reached over having his hand on top of yours. "You're a good woman and you're sister's lucky to have ya. Hell, I wish I had someone like you growin' up. Tryna make my life easy while she's doin' the heavy liftin'…" You looked up at him, his blue eyes full of emotion and truth. It was strange of him to be meddling in someone's family affairs since he was busy with his own but what he witnessed at the dinner table, he realized that these people are his family and he couldn't stand by the sidelines without doing something about it. "You n yer sister, you got some things to work through. You gotta drop this lil act of yours and show her yer hurtin' too. Show her she ain't alone with those emotions. That's probably why she thinks yer so okay with your mom gone." You closed your eyes letting more tears fall and then nodded in agreement.
Your hand gripped onto Daryl's giving it a squeeze. This side of him you've never saw but it was a side of him that somehow managed to pull you back together. "Thank you. For this...for a second I was starting to lose myself." You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. Then both of your heads whipped to the entrance of the RV.
Your sister stood with a look of uneasiness, Andrea behind her with a worried one. You stood up from your seat and moved towards her. Her eyes swelled as she couldn't hold in the floodgates. She lunged towards, you arms wrapped around you tight, head digging into your shoulder. You wrapped your arms around her as well crying into her. "I'm so sorry...Everything I said, I'm sorry…" You two continued crying into each others arms not noticing that Daryl and Andrea had left, leaving you two to sort your differences alone.
Time had passed and the two of you entered the still quiet house arms around each others waist. Glenn was the first to see you two. "H-hey...How're you guys?" A smirk rose to your face as you answered Glenns question. "We're fine. Just finally figured some things out. I'm sorry everyone for that." You said apologetically. During all the ruckus you didn't realize that you left everyone in discomfort.
"Don't be. We're just glad to see you two alright again. Just reminded me of thanksgiving with the in-laws." Rick said with care in his eyes. Both you and your sister chuckled at this only thankful that all of them understood.
"Right, well how about we all get back to dinner." Moving to your seats, everyone pushed in their chairs and ready themselves to dig in. "Hershell, do you mind if we try that prayer again?" You asked.
"By all means, please." Everyone grabbed ahold of each others hands once more that night. With everyone's heads bowed and eyes closed you looked up to see a pair of blue eyes staring at you. You gave him a nod as a thank you for what he done, him doing the same with you not noticing the small smile crossing his face, and then the both of you went to bowing your heads.
"Dear Lord, thank you for the wonderful yet cold meal provided to us tonight." Everyone lightly laughed at this now feeling the atmosphere shifting to calmness. "Thank you for blessing us with good people watching over us everyday. Bless those that we have lost and those that we sit with tonight. Thank you for bringing us all together creating a family during these troublesome times and bless us on our journey as we do not plan to stop on living. Amen."
Everyone dug in. Jokes were cracked, laughter played like a cherished song. Stories were told and by the end of the night everyone felt content and at home.