Anger gnawed at my belly, lies are everywhere. Even my own sister doesn't trust me; she often talks to the older warriors like she is one. I'm glad I have Hawkfrost; he teaches me, trusts me and encourages me. I think it's time I let go, of these lies that bind me to the shadows of doubt. Shadows crept over my ruffled tabby and white pelt, fear gripped around me and Hawkfrost's scent allured me in. All I could hear was the blood roaring in my ears and the screeching of young cats. I held my head high, closed my eyes and took a step forward. Water rushed at my legs, filling my senses, delight filling my heart. I'll finally be free of these lies, of this torment. I smiled and let my body sink into the rapids. As my eyes went black, I felt teeth grab my scruff and drag me out of the rapids. I blinked away the blackness and saw a ginger tabby pelt. "Fox..!" I snarled before I got cut off.
"Just WHAT do you think you're doing Ivypool?" Foxleap growled, claws extended.

"Trying to die, what does it look like I'm doing?" I stared at my paws.

"Why would you do that? Especially with the fact that your kits will die with you!"

"How do you know about that? I only told Dovewing! I knew she'd blab."

"No one told me! Especially not your sister!"

I lowered my voice to a whisper. "Then how did you find out?"

"I knew the scent from Rosepetal."

"She's expecting kits?"

"Yes, but enough about her. Who's the father?"

I blinked away tears. "I…"

"Who?" He turned his head as he wrapped his tail around me.

"That's just it. I don't know."

He licked me on the cheek and I blushed. "If you want, I'll be the stepfather."

I looked up and smiled. "I'd like that."

Foxleap gazed softly at me. "I have something to tell you Ivypool."

I let my fur relax and I held his gaze. "Yes?"

"I love you, Ivypool. I always have and always will."

I licked him on the nose. "I love you too."

That's all I can remember, and the moment still lingers in my mind everytime I look at my beautiful kits. These two remind so much of him and the way he died, next to a pool of blood with a slit in his throat. As much as I cry, it's not doing anything to help my kits. They will be strong like their father and hopefully, as he said it, have my wit and pride. The thing is, I hope they don't, it's my fault he died. Young Foxkit and Lionkit are like their father, thank StarClan. Strong, fast and handsome. Everytime I looked at them when they were born, I broke down in tears. I miss my dear Foxleap and I'm glad he was there when the kits where born. I never should have left the nursery but I did and now he's dead. Foxkit and Lionkit will be apprentices soon, and they will be the best apprentices the clan has ever known.