Wow, it's been a while since I've posted anything here. I've had this sitting for ages, so I figured I may as well start posting it. I've got 94 pages worth of it, up to around chapter 8, as well as quite a few scattered chapters following that, which just need to be put in order and have fillers put in. Unlike my other (failed) story, I actually have this one fully planned out, so this one may just be finished. =) I did briefly have a few chapters of this published under a different title as well before yanking it to work on them. Also, i would just like to say that I am not a student, so the time of the year doesn't make a difference for my management of updates. Instead, I'm a full time mother of two rambunctious toddlers - they'll determine my update rate!

thanks for reading!

- amber

How could you just leave me standing alone in a world so cold? Maybe I'm just too demanding. Maybe I'm just like my father, too bold. Maybe you're just like my mother; she's never satisfied. Why do we scream at each other? This is what it sounds like when doves cry. – When Doves Cry by Prince

Chapter I

The Woes of a Six-Year-Old

"No, you can't do that, it's cheating!"

"No one ever said I had to play fair! And it's not my fault you're so short."

"Stop it! Gimme back my dolly!"

"Gimme gimme never gets!"

"Why are you so mean to me?!"

"I'm not mean, you're just a wuss."

"I am not a wuss, you take that back!"

"You're such a baby! Wussy wittle baby! Does the wittle baby want her dolly back?"

"I'm telling on you! Mummy!"

"NO! Wait, don't!"

But it was too late. The little girl had run off, screaming for her mother, leaving a horrified looking boy behind. It took him less than a minute before he went tearing off after her, precious dolly dropped without a second thought. By the time he had caught up, though, she had climbed on to her mother's lap, large tears streaking down her five-year-old face as she spilt an unintelligible rush of words, tattling on the six-year-old boy that had been picking on her, making Andromeda and Bellatrix, who had been sitting with the two mothers, frown at their youngest sister.

"Nu-uh! I didn't do it! Mummy, she's lying! I swear!" he protested quickly to his own mother, who was sitting across from the woman whom the girl was crying to.

The two women looked at each other with a frown before the second woman silenced her son. "One at a time and Narcissa was here first. Now, darling, what's the matter?"

The boy glared at his mother for a moment. Whose side was she on? Treacherous woman.

"H-h-he t-t-t-t-took my d-d-dolly and wouldn't g-g-give it b-back!" Narcissa sobbed, playing up her drama so that the adults would take more pity on her by pointing an accusing finger at the boy.

"Did he now?" cooed the second woman, before looking at her son while the first smoothed down her daughters hair and gave her quiet reassurances that they could get her another dolly.

"No, Mum, I didn't! Why would I take her stupid doll?" Lucius snapped, sparing a glare for the girl who had just dared to tell on him.

"Lucius Malfoy, you know better than to lie to me," Evelyn snapped at her boy. It was obvious he was lying. "And you know better than to act like this."

"Oh, Eve, lighten up. They're just kids and I'm sure they were just playing," Druella said with a shake of her head, Narcissa curled up slightly on her lap, all tears gone by now and a rather smug look upon her tiny face as she stared down Lucius. "Lucius didn't mean any harm and Narcissa tends to take things over board-" a comment that earned her glare from her daughter- "Don't be so hard on him. It's fine."

At least someone was going up to bat for him and, after she had finished, he looked back at his mother with an attempt at a sad look. It wasn't working; Evelyn was just shaking her head.

"See, Druella, that's the difference between having girls and having a boy. You can go light on girls, they grow to marry and you know that. A boy must grow in to a man and lead his household. He won't manage that if we're too light on him," Evelyn snapped, waving a dismissive hand. They had to be hard on Lucius. How else would he learn? Druella frowned, but got the clear message that she ought not say anything further. After all, Lucius wasn't her son. "Lucius, apologize to Narcissa."

"But Mum, I-" came his attempt to rebuttal the short statement and avoid the order and was interrupted by his mother with a sharp, "Now!'

He shot the woman a cold glare before looking down at the ground, kicking a spot while he avoided saying what he had been told to say till Evelyn gave him a threatening look. He finally mumbled, "Sorry."

Evelyn cocked an eyebrow at him. "For?"

He would have turned and walked away if he was sure his father wouldn't hear about it if he did. He glared at his mother before looking back down, unable to meet the far too smug face of the little girl, and muttered even softer, "For taking your doll."

"Good. Now, go inside and tell your father what you've done," Evelyn said, turning back to Druella to continue their gossiping.

"No, Mum, I don't want to, don't make me!" he said quickly, looking at her in shock. Go tell his father? What was wrong with the woman? He couldn't go tell his father he'd misbehaved!

She looked back down at him, brows raised. "Lucius, either you confess and go tell him yourself or I'll tell him later tonight."

The boy stared at his mother. She would run to father, wouldn't she? And it would be ten times worse if Abraxas heard it from her rather than from Lucius himself. So with a glare at Narcissa, who was smirking at him, he turned and headed inside to find his father. Humph. It would be better to be inside with his father than out here with these women anyway. He made a face, kicking at the ground as he headed inside, mumbling to himself about how unfair life was. He spared a glance back, only to see Narcissa stick her tongue out at him.

Lucius glared at her before heading inside. Dumb girl. Probably had cooties, whatever those were. It was better to be inside anyway, Father was much more interesting. He made his way through Malfoy Manor, heading up to the parlor room where his father and Mr. Black were discussing business, or whatever it was that grown men discussed. He ought to find that out, he'd be a grown man in a year or so – in his mind, he would be, at least; couldn't take longer than that.

He knocked on the slightly open parlor door, hearing the voices pause. Abraxas frowned lightly, looking over at the door. The knock was closer to the ground, so it wasn't his wife, nor was it Cygnus's. So it was one of the children. From there, it wasn't too hard to figure out which one. There was always a rather distinct knock from his son and it clearly said he wasn't anticipating this. "Come in, Lucius."

How his father always knew it was him, Lucius could never figure out. But he pushed the door open and walked in, bold as possible, and climbed up on to the arm of the chair his father was sitting in without saying a word, but giving Cygnus a smile. The other man gave him an amused smile in return, raising his eyebrow.

"What are you doing in here, Lucius? Shouldn't you be outside playing with the girls?" Abraxas asked, putting an arm around Lucius so he didn't fall off the slim armrest he had perched himself on.

Lucius made a face at his father's suggestion. "Mother was being mean to me."

"And how was mother being mean to you?" Abraxas asked, brows raised curiously.

Lucius paused for a moment. If father knew the whole story, then he might just take his mother's side, Mr. Black certainly wouldn't be happy. But then again, Mother had said she'd tell him later. Best to tell him now. "I was playing with Cissy and she decided to go running to mum and Mrs. Black and claim that I stole her doll. And mum believed her over me and made me… apologize-" he sneered at the word- "So I came inside."

There was silence for a few terse moments, Abraxas and Cygnus exchanging knowing looks. It made Lucius nervous. Father was going to pick Narcissa's side too, wasn't he? Of course Mr. Black would, he'd jump to defend his little girl. Snobby little brat probably got everything she wanted. And then, just when Lucius was thinking it would be better to leave, the two men started laughing. It was familiar territory for the both of them and exactly what little boys were supposed to do. Of course Evelyn wouldn't understand. Then again, Evelyn had always wanted a little girl and found Cygnus and Druella's three girls an absolute delight.

"Sounds about right," Abraxas said with a shake of his head after a few minutes of laughing and reached for a new cigar from his pack, lighting it with his wand, but then paused for a moment while he looked at Lucius so close to his lap, seeming to reconsider it. He had been told repeatedly that he oughtn't do that. And it probably wasn't a good sign that Lucius was staring at it, barely containing his urge to reach out a grab it. Sighing, he put it out and instead ruffled Lucius's hair.

It was without further comment on what Lucius had told them that Cygnus and Abraxas continued on with their conversation and didn't take more than half an hour for the young boy, grown bored of the grown up conversation, to slip off the arm rest and fall asleep on his father's lap.

Grey eyes peeked around the corner, quiet as can be, watching keenly as his parents fought – or, as they put it, had a disagreement. He should have been in bed hours ago, so it was vital that he wasn't spotted. Mother was rather particular about being in bed on time and not getting back up. But this fight was far too interesting for him to remain in bed.

"You can't keep treating him like that, Evelyn!" Abraxas tiredly informed his wife.

The woman, who was clearly not amused, had her arms crossed and her brows raised. "Treating him like what, exactly? Tell me what I did that was so horrible!"

He stared at her in shock. Did she really not now or was she just playing this complete idiot? "You humiliated the boy! You can't force him to apologize for something that he might not have done! You don't trust him; you're always taking sides against him, especially when it concerns one of those Black girls! You didn't even listen to his side of the story this morning!"

"How would you know what I did and did not listen to? You weren't outside with us!" she snapped.

"I do not need to be outside with you to know what happened," he said tersely, shaking his head. "Lucius told me what happened, I'm sure I'd have gotten your recount of it otherwise. And either way, it's always the same. One of those girls comes crying to you claiming Lucius did something and you never even listen to the boy!"

"Does it matter if I listen to him or not? Honestly now," Evelyn returned, taking a sip of the red wine she had served before the fight had started. "You're right, it is always the same. Lucius always does something rotten to one of those girls and I always have to set him right! How is he going to learn to be a man and how to treat women with you constantly coddling him and letting him get away with whatever he wants?!"

Coddling him? Abraxas did not coddle him! He gave her an incredulous look before shaking his head. Alright, so maybe now and then he spoiled his son. But he could afford to do that and his son was only six. "He is not yet old enough to learn to be a man and how to treat women, but when he is of proper age, it is my job to teach him, not yours!"

"It's not my fault if you're terrible at your job," she replied snippily. Obviously Abraxas was not fit to be a father in her eyes. Why couldn't she have just had a daughter? That would have made things so much easier and they wouldn't be having this debate.

"I'm terrible at my job?" he repeated, shaking his head. This woman knew no bounds, did she? "You really think I'm doing a terrible job of raising my son? This coming from the woman who doesn't even bloody want him?!"

"It's not that I don't want him, don't you dare go saying that," Evelyn returned, lip curling slightly. "It's just-"

"No, no 'it's just', Eve," Abraxas interrupted, waving a dismissive hand. "I've been hearing this song from you since the day he was born and it hasn't changed a single note! 'Oh, of course I love him, I just wish he was a she', or 'Why couldn't I have had a girl?' Do you really think I don't remember that night you tried to put him in a dress because you so desperately wanted a girl?! And do you think it's passed my attention that you've been inviting the Blacks around so often merely because they have three girls for you to spoil more than your own flesh and blood?!"

Evelyn stared at him throughout his little speech. Well, if that was how he wanted to play it, fine. At least there was no longer a need to be discreet. She drew herself up to full height, nose going in the air. "I'm going to bed. I'll be staying in one of the guest bedrooms until I see fit."

"You do that," he said with a dismissive wave of his hand, settling back down in his seat with a cigar, cutting off the end of this new one and lighting it with the aid of his wand. After a glance around the room, during which Lucius had to duck back to avoid being seen, he sat for a few minutes, considering a few things before, "Shouldn't you be in bed, Lucius?"

Shoot. The boy bit his lower lip, debating running back to his room and deny ever being there. But as he'd discovered, Father preferred it when he just came out with whatever wrongdoing he'd done. It took a second more for him to build the guts, but he stepped back out in to the opening, looking at his father sheepishly.

"Isn't it a bit late, son?" Abraxas asked, his brows raised curiously.

Lucius shrugged, reaching up to scratch the bridge of his nose lightly. "Maybe."

Maybe. He fought the smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Why aren't you asleep, then?"

There was another shrug from the boy as he clearly debated his answer. He didn't think that, 'I wanted to watch you and mommy fight' was the right answer, so instead he decided to go with, "I couldn't sleep."

Abraxas seemed ready to question why he couldn't sleep when he instead put out his new cigar and stood up with a loud sigh. He could finish the cigar later. For now, there were more important matters to deal with. "Come on, boy. Let's get you to bed."