Lost. He feels so lost. He wishes that his brother was still here with him. He misses hearing his brother joke and pun around, seeing him literally pass out anywhere being his lazy self. Some days he does not even want to get out of bed cause it would just confirm what he already knows. His brother is gone.
And he did not know what to do to feel better. He knows that Papy told him to live after he teleported him to safety. He wants to fulfill his brothers dying request. He just did not know how. How can he live knowing it was cause of his foolishness his brother had died. He felt his tears well up as he remembered desperately trying to heal him as he was turning into dust, that now months later covered his orange hoodie that he always wore. It still smells like him. Of sugary sweet honey and smokey.
He rubbed his face in it and sighed. "... I miss you Papy..." he mumbled before getting up out of the bed. He struggled to put it on, being it way larger the him. It wound up going past his knees about a inch and the sleeves going way past his hands. He tugged at the sleeves pulling them up so he can use his hands and then pulled on a pair of pants tucking the hoodie into them. He looked into the mirror after he pulled on a pair of boots and added his blue bandanna that was a present to him from his brother when they were younger.
He tears up again as he pulled the hood up taking a deep breath in. He had been avoiding going out long enough. Alphys has been trying to get him to be active and do training to help him get his mind off everything. It did help if only for a moment, though it did not do anything to cheer him up lately. Today she was not going to be over though, per his request to Undyne. He wanted some time alone, to go back to the place where he and Papy were attacked. Chara had said that maybe in going there he could find some closure.
Honestly he did not think it would help. In fact he was sure it would only make him feel worse. But he was going to go anyways. Cause if he didn't he also knew that, while meaning well, he would get dragged there by his former mentor when the royal guard was still running. Staring in the mirror his eye lights smaller and pale almost white blue compared to their normal sky blue with stary effects when.. he was happier. When Papyrus was here. Frowning he shakes his head as he steels his resolve and rub the tears away with his hands.
"I-it's going to be fine. Just a walk there and back." He stated wincing at how lackluster his voice sounds. He sounded like a stranger. Looked like it too. If it were not for the fact he knew it was him he would have thought there was another skeleton here like a clone or something. Sighing he turns and heads to the door to his room and makes his way to the front door not bothering to look around himself knowing if he did he would loose himself in the memories cause he did not have someone there to prevent him from doing so.
He noted it was a beautiful day outside, birds were singing, flowers were in full bloom. On days like these he wished that he could travel in time and somehow have been able to stop what happened, or at the very least choose a different way home and not so foolishly went that path cause he wanted to try and make another friend that would hopefully stick around him and his brother longer like Chara and the others whom were of his 'kind' that other more hostile humans would point out.
He let out a halfhearted laugh, thinking back on how naive he was, thinking he could reason with the humans that wanted nothing more to attack him. Regretting that it took him loosing the only family he had left to see some of the black he tried to ignore and blind trust that everyone can do the right thing. Deep down he knew that people still could do so, but now. Well.. now he saw that unless someone really wants to do good even if they have the chance given they would continue on the path they are on unless someone is determined and motivated to both verbally and physically make them stop.
In the past he probably would, but now? Now he did not see the point. Least... probably not in the state of mind he is in. He could not say for sure of his future self. But as of right now. He was struggling just to get by day to day trying to respect his brother's plea to him to live. How can he just completely give up when he was told that? Glancing up he paused seeing the location that the attack had happened.
He could almost see his brother still standing there, with a past version of himself from memory talking to the human that had a gun aimed at him while the two other humans on either side had pipes in their hands all them having mixed looks of hate and excitement to harm them both. He recalled the sound of the gunshot that had pierced his brother's soul right at the moment he had teleported them both away to their home. He sank to the ground and pressed his skull against the wall he was near as he let out a strangled sob.
It was his fault. It was all his fault. If he would of just listened to Papy he would still be here. He would not have had to of died. "It should have been me. It should have been be he did not deserve to die." he wailed out as he let his sobs wrack his worn out figure. He pulled his arms up to rub his eye sockets his blue tears overflowing as he hiccups letting his grief consume him before he felt himself get yanked up by his brother's hoodie. Gasping his eye-lights shrink to the size of pinpricks tears flowing freely as he starts to register what is going on, the foul breath of a human that looked very familiar, oh.. it was one of the humans from that night.
"Lookie what we got here boys. Looks like the short one is back. What's the matter you undead freak, last time was not enough and you wanted more? Where is that other tall one at? To chicken to try and protect you?" He stated making Sans feel like he was going to gag from the smell of his breath, but a little bit of anger at the insult to his brother. So he did the only think he could think of at the moment to make him let him go, without causing problems for Chara whom was still fighting for monster rights. He spat at him in his eyes.
"Fuck! Damn you freak assed piece of trash!" the man shouts as he threw Sans to the wall making him grunt in pain as he slumps to the ground. That hurt, though he knew that more was coming. So he just look up at him, smiling a bit smugly knowing that Papy would have thought that was funny and where ever he was now he was likely laughing his bony metaphorical butt off.
"You are going to pay for what you did to Chad you sick fuck" He flinched a moment as one of the other humans came closer before he paused thinking a moment. He felt wrong in this cause it is likely that he is going to die, and his brother told him to live... but he felt okay with this. With dying. Least he would be free of this burden of guilt, and probably be able to join his brother where ever he is if these humans went all out like he figured they would.
He let out a broken laugh, more tears starting to flow. "Sorry Papy... I'll see you again soon." He said as he waited for the humans to attack, feeling a sense of peace come over him as he waited to die. It was nice, to not be afraid or worried about death. Not anymore. Not when he had nothing else to live for when his brother had been his everything. The eye lids that hide his eye-lights closed preparing for the endless sleep to come after a strike from one of the three men in his vulnerability.
"Hey you jerks leave him alone!" came a voice that called out sharply out of nowhere causing his eyes to open and see someone around his height if not a bit taller due to their boots they were wearing standing between him and the people about to dust him. He felt panic well up in his soul. This person, a human, was going to get hurt cause he was in danger. Someone was going to get hurt cause of him. Again.
"n-no.. not again. Not again...cause of me.. not again..." He murmured as he mentally collapsed while his hands gripped at the hood pulling it up trying to get grounded again trying to calm himself. He hear the person in front of him growled at the three other, bulkier and stronger humans. They sounded like they were mad and trying to be protective of him, which only made him feel worse cause someone that was nice was trying to help when he was to weak to defend himself, and he almost let his brother down on the one thing he asked of him.
"Seriously? What the hell did you creeps do to him. I swear jerks like you deserve to all get locked up and rot for all the sadness and despair you cause others! Especially monsters whom have done nothing but try to help us humans whom do not deserve it after our kind locked them up under a mountain and continue to harm them after they are freed." They shout out in rage at his, and other monster's, defense. He looked up at their back, feeling his panic subdue a bit as he listened and watched them then looked to the men that had him cornered. They seem to be struggling like they were stuck in some sort of magical field.
"Fucking hell that monster is using it's magic on us we should have killed it when we had the chance before his monster lover bitch came along to defend him." One of the men seethed causing Sans to stare at him, knowing it was not his magic. If it was he and the three men would be in an encounter. He felt confused completely at a loss of what was going on. "I-I..."He stammers not sure what to say as he watched as the three men suddenly collapse and are unconscious.
….. What is going on?! Who is this person? What is happening!? He looks up at the human whom turns out to be a female turned around rubbing her temples eyes closed a moment before opening them and looked at him with bright green hues that were akin to emeralds, which compliment her scarlet red hair that is showing out from under her beanie hat.
"God humanity is such a lost cause sometimes... hey, come on. Lets get you out of here. My place is not far I want to check you over to see if you are injured." She said as she helps him up. "This way, I know a short cut." She said before his world faded to black as a similar sensation came over him but felt different. "P-Papyrus..." he mumbles out before he collapsed onto something soft, completely loosing touch with the world as everything continued to disappear as he slipped into unconsciousness.
Shit. Shit he passed out. I knew that trying to teleport would have been too much. Usually is for newbies to it. I had to get out of there though in case there was anyone from the magic council on watch in the area. Luckily he was there so they would not think she broke any rules using her mage magic to save him but that did not mean that they still would have tried to question her. She already lost her brother to them cause she had tried to save someone before that was a human in a entirely different situation she did not need to deal with them going after her again especially when her older brother had sacrificed himself so that she would have a new start.
Heh, guess old habits die hard. Sighing she looked at the skeleton monster and decided to feel around his body while he had cloths on, so he would not panic if he woke up without them on. Frowning she felt some injured bones and after resetting them using her magic she had merged healing magic with it to heal him of his injuries.
"... I am sorry you had to go through that. After you wake up I will talk with you and maybe you can explain what happened... It will be nice to get your name too." She said not sure if he could hear her but knows that at the very least his soul will pick up on it. Souls seemed to do that kind of thing often, and with monsters it seemed to come easier for them.
Standing up after she had healed him she pulled her covers of her bed over him to let him rest and left to her couch setting down onto it and sighed using her magic to flick the locks on the front door to her apartment as well as the windows. Settling down more she sighed as she turned on the tv, waiting for the monster to wake up, and deep down began to wonder if maybe after they talked, he would be willing to become friends.
She was not sure why, but it seemed like a nice thought. Smiling she resigns herself to be okay with it wither he accepts or not. After all she would not blame him if he did not. It was humanity especially mage's fault for everything in regards to the mountain that they were trapped under. Though on the off chance he would be okay with it she would be glad. Cause for the first time since the day she lost her brother...
She felt like she could finally not be alone.