This is a gift for my darling friend Reflecting. Now look, before you jump on me (CLOSET!) it's kinda angsty. JUST A LITTLE. OK!? It doesn't last too long!
But anyway. It was inspired by the song "I Remember" by Damien Rice. I have the album it's on, O, but I was trying to tell another friend about it so I went to youtube and found a live version. Which I haven't stopped listening to since. So to get the full reading experience: go to youtube, search I Remember by Damien Rice and look for the version that is 9 minutes and 49 seconds long. It gives me goose bumps and I forget to breathe towards the end.
I don't own Kenshin or Kaoru, as much as I love them. Reflecting on the other hand? Yes I do own you.
"Do you remember December?" He whispered to her back. "Just tell me if you remember December, that's all I ask." She didn't turn, she didn't move. The snow was still coming down hard, the street light could barely be seen. The flakes caught in her thick hair, it was braided instead of in its usual pony tail. "Please, Kaoru, do you remember December or not?" He yelled. A sharp gust of wind caught his word and whipped his hair around his face. Her shoulders were shaking. The first reaction he'd gotten from her since he'd passed her on the street.
A year later, a little over now considering the cold January storm. He'd met her in a small coffee shop rummaging for change in her bag to pay for her simple tea. He'd quickly handed over a crisp bill and placed an order for himself as well. She didn't notice him until he was holding the two drinks and asking if she took milk or sugar, or both. She'd huffed and tried to pay him back, but he laughed and told her truthfully that it was his pleasure. He found himself in a comfortable armchair by the small fire talking to her about everything. It was surprisingly simple how easy it was to talk to her. Words rolled off his tongue, entertaining her with stories, and being entertained by them as well.
They'd simply clicked. The exchange of phone numbers was casual, with the promise of another tea soon. The thought made him smile. The early December melted away with hot teas and warm soups in bread bowls. He always seemed warm with her despite the freezing temperatures and the piles of snow and ice everywhere.
It was one day during a particularly bad storm that she mentioned being unable to go home for the holidays. Her eyes had dropped to her cup of hot chocolate and he had done the only natural thing, asked her to spend them with him. She gawked at him almost immediately, and he rushed to explain that he was having a small get together of friends and she would be more than welcome to join them. She blinked, and then slowly nodded.
She was an undergrad at a local university, and he a lawyer at a firm not far from the campus. Though their schedules became busier and busier as the holidays approached they found more and more time together. Sometimes it was only for a quick cup of tea, neither enjoyed coffee without massive amounts of sugar and milk, and other times she found herself studying for her exams on his couch while he made dinner.
It was the weekend before the holidays during one of her study sessions on his living room floor that one of the worst storms of the year hit. She had been going over her history notes when he'd called for her from the kitchen to come look out the window. The snow was coming down in enormous clumps, it was thick and heavy. He'd emerged from the kitchen looking sheepish. He told her that he didn't feel comfortable with her going back to her own apartment. She'd agreed, in a storm like this just walking into it could kill you.
They had settled on his couch after dinner was finished watching a movie neither was very interested in. She had on a whim snuggled into his chest with her ear over his heart, he'd smiled and wrapped an arm around her shoulders to hold her close to him. They were content in each other's warmth and silence and both half asleep when the lights started to blink before going out completely.
He'd blinked a few times before realizing that the power had gone out, and that meant no heat, for the night, in the middle of a storm that was well below freezing. He'd whispered in her ear that he had to get up to start a fire so they could stay as warm as they were. He grinned when she'd groaned and buried deeper into his chest bringing the blanket she was hiding under over her head. Eventually through a few well placed tickles he'd managed to break free of her grip and decided to make the fire as quickly as possible so he could return to her.
She was watching him with her head resting on the seat of the couch, his red hair glowing in the fire light. Once the fire was started and he was still crouched next to it she formed a plan. Sneaking over to him she threw the blanket over both their heads and tackled him from behind. They landed in a heap with the blanket covering them, the fire giving just enough light through the tan quilt to highlight their skin and make their eyes glow with merriment.
Supposing that the fine line between friendship and something else that they had been teetering on was broken because of the snuggling on the couch she found that looking at the face of the man beneath her she wouldn't mind knowing if his lips were as soft as they looked. So began their first kiss under a blanket by his fire place. She rested on his chest with his arms around her waist loosely, while she supported some of her weight on her elbows at either side of his head.
He'd been a little surprised, but pleasantly so when she had brushed her lips against his. It was chaste and sweet, but left him wanting so much more than he knew only she could give him. It was her turn to be surprised when he surged forward capturing her lips, he was caring and considerate but burning and passionate all at once in his kiss. He was everywhere at once, his lips on hers, on her neck, his hands caressing her sides, pulling her to him. She breathed his name and writhed under him when he switched their positions.
Their clothing was lost in a hurry, the need to feel the other's skin driving them insane. Her breath was lost as his mouth encircled one breast and his fingers teased her, she arched up against him and felt him chuckle into her skin. Two could play this game. He hissed as she wrapped a gentle but firm hand around him, his breath fanning out over her moist chest causing her nipples to harden even more. This continued until she couldn't handle her own need for him any longer and aligned her hips with his, begging for him to take her.
She gasped as he entered her, his heat crashing over her and igniting her blood, her own heat pooling low in her until he brought it forth. They both peaked crying each other's names her toes curling with the sheer magnitude of it all. She became breathless as he continued his strokes riding out the pleasure until he collapsed on top of her, welcoming his weight she embraced his shoulders and held him to her. Sweet nothings were said with truth behind every word and gentle touches of tired fingers ran over their spent bodies. He pulled the cushions off the couch and threw the discarded blanket back over their bodies to create a nest next to the crackling fire.
The days before Christmas were spent in a similar fashion, the city effectively shut down for two days after the snow storm leaving him very little time to find her a present. She had mentioned getting him something she knew he would love and he became nervous. It only took him one trip to find her gift and one glance to know it was perfect.
His apartment was taken over Christmas Eve by his close friend, the young doctor and her rowdy husband and the tall and solemn lawyer he worked with and his petite but energetic fiancée. They had all taken an immediate liking to her and her to them. Dinner had been casual and incredibly pleasant as he took every opportunity to ravish her in the kitchen as discreetly as possible. She had smiled and shook her head her eyes laughing at him from across the room as she entertained the ladies.
They bid his old friends and her new friends good bye and as the last coat was slid on he couldn't resist slipping an arm around her waist and pulling her to him to rest her head on his rest. In return he tucked her under his chin and slowly rocked her back and forth lulling them. She had hummed contentedly before slipping from his grasp, he had raised an eye brow not entirely happy with loosing his warmth but the mischievous glint in her eyes woke him. She went to the hall closet and pulled a long and narrow box from the back. He chuckled, of course she would hide his present in his own closet and he'd never look there.
She led him to the living room and sat on the couch in her favorite corner. He'd smiled and followed; when he sat next to her she placed the package on his lap. There was only a red ribbon holding the lid to the base and he made quick work of it. She took it and tied it around her neck in a large bow. He'd laughed and told her he'd open that present in just a while. She'd blushed and swatted his arm while laughing all the same. He chuckled and removed the lid.
A sword lay in the box, he eyed it not sure what to think. She sighed and encouraged him to look at the blade, her grin grew ten fold as he picked the sword up and gentle slid the sheath down a few inches. The blade was on the wrong side. He understood now. He had mentioned his fascination with ancient Japan before and the martial arts. But this was something else, for her to find something that embodied him so wholly after only a month of knowing him? A sudden rush of emotions swept over him, he choked out a thank you, that it was incredible and watched her smile grow even more. He knew that his present was perfect too now; there wasn't a doubt in his mind. If she knew him this well after scarcely a month, it would be fine.
He placed the sword back in its box and leaned it against the end of the couch. He took a deep breath before sliding off the couch himself. She blinked her curiosity evident but with a look he silenced her. He told her his thoughts quietly, his words sure but gentle. When the words became harder and finally died he went in for the kill. He pulled a little box from his pocket, the velvet worn from his fingers stroking it all night. She gasped and her eyes grew wide as it clicked open. She didn't wear a lot of jewelry and what she did wear was simple, elegant and usually silver.
Her hands flew to her mouth and her eyes began to water as he asked her. She began to nod furiously tears streaming down her face now. She was laughing and crying all at once as he slipped the simple white gold band onto her finger. She launched herself from the couch into his arms and they tumbled to the floor both grinning from ear to ear as they showered each other's faces in kisses. She wasn't the only one who had tears in her eyes, he was just so damn happy.
They spent the long break in each others arms enjoying their heat and the comfort his apartment brought. They would stare out the window watching the snow fall on the city for hours on end. Life was peaceful and content; he would catch her staring at the ring while smiling her eyes bright with unshed tears. He asked her one day as they lay naked together on his bed about the tears and she answered that she was just happy. He had been pleased with such a response and pulled her in closer to nuzzle her hair.
It was the day after New Year's Eve that their world shattered. She had had to go back to her apartment to get clothing and other necessities, he'd insisted that he didn't mind if she walked around the apartment naked. She laughed and gave him a gentle swat. He had tried to hold her with kisses and even a bride of fresh brownies but she insisted. She knew he'd make the brownies anyway. With one final peck she was out the door. She never came back. An hour passed, then two, then three. They melted away, dinner time came and went, and there was no sign. He called her phone but it was off. He began to worry, situations popped into his mind at such a pace he thought he might go insane.
He called his friends looking to see if they had seen her, but no one had. They offered him support as much as they could but nothing worked. He needed her. January came and went, then the next month, nothing. He stopped thinking, he ate only because he had to, he threw himself into work to try and hide from his worry, fear and desperation. No one understood what happened. It couldn't have been cold feet, she'd left too much stuff behind at his place, but what else made some one run away?
The months blurred together, he was working on a difficult case and was thankful for it. He knew he was a shadow of the man he had once been but he couldn't find any closure. The dark circles under his eyes he suspected were permanent now, the young doctor was furious with him, but he just didn't care.
December arrived and it hurt less than he thought it would, or he had just become so detached it couldn't reach him. He wasn't sure as he collapsed onto his bed exhausted. He hadn't slept in the past three days, he blamed it on work but it wasn't really. He would work tomorrow too, despite being it being Christmas.
January arrived with a bitter cold that they city hadn't seen in many years. It was a dry sort of cold that seeped in through the warmest coats and sat in the bones. He had been walking home from work, his car wouldn't start that morning, too cold, when it began to snow. It was warmer than previous nights, still below freezing but above zero and therefore warm. The snow was thick and came down in large clumps. He stared at the sky his eye lashes catching the snowflakes, it was dizzying to watch the snow fall while he looked up at it.
When he looked back down the to the side walk there was another figure walking towards him. They passed under a street light, her dark hair in a braid, a thick scarf wrapped over her nose, but her eyes were clear as day. She kept walking as he stopped. Was it just his imagination? Or was she there? Really there? There was no way the snow could make him see her? Before he drove himself crazy he turned and called her name. She stopped, but didn't look at him.
Kenshin had asked if she remember December. He'd pleaded with her to tell him. She'd started to shake. When Kaoru turned to him, there was no recollection in her eyes. "Are you the one who's been haunting my dreams?" She asked as she pulled down her scarf, her hand stayed at her throat and she clutched something. "Did I watch snow fall with you? Were we warm?" She met each of his questions with one of his own.
"Kaoru, what happened to you?" He choked stepping towards her. She bent her head so as not to look him in the eye when he was in front of her.
"I was in a car accident a year ago, last January. A drunk driver, black ice, the doctors told me I hit my head hard enough, too hard, I don't remember anything." Her voice was meek. "My family came and took me to my home. But it wasn't home. It wasn't warm, there wasn't red." She looked up at him her eyes brimming with tears. "I don't remember you. But yes, I remember December." The tears spilled over and he surged forward embracing her to him as she sobbed. "I remember being warm, and being happy. But I didn't know where, or who, just red." She clutched at his jacket burying her face in the wool. "I don't know who you are! But I love you! I know that I love you so much!" Kaoru howled into his chest.
Tears of his own began to fall, they had both been so lost this past year. But she remembered December, she knew, even if she didn't. Kenshin pulled her away from under his chin and wiped her tears away with his thumbs. A glint of something silver at her neck caught his attention, no not silver he realized, white gold. His smile grew as he leaned down to kiss her full on the mouth. She met him with the same passion, her arms thrown around his neck holding them together as close as possible. Despite the snow and the dark around them, he felt warm for the first time all year. And Kenshin was sure that Kaoru felt the same.