Hey so I've got the worst case of writers block for "When Life Gives You Jack Brewer" I can't think of anything until I cam up with this idea which I'm excited about, I have no idea how long it will be but it's pretty much New Girl with a kickin it twist. So enjoy.
"So you know in horror movies when the girl is like, "Oh my God, there's something in the basement. Let me just run down there in my underwear and see what's going on in the dark," and you're like, "What is your problem? Call the police," and she's like, "OK," but it's too late because she's already getting murdered. Well, my story's kinda like that." I say to the three strangers in front of me as I begin to tell the story as to why I'm here in front of them wanting to live with them.
FLASHBACK
Everything was going great, Brett and I had been dating for 6 years and I was truly in love with him. He made me feel so good about myself everyday, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I never understood why he hadn't asked me to marry him, I think he knows I'd say yes in a heartbeat but the awnser will always remain unknown.
It was a tuesday afternoon, September 18th, Brett's birthday. For his special day I wanted to do somthing out of the box that he would never expect. I wanted to do something big. I talked it over with my best friend Grace for several days trying to brainstorm an idea that would make Brett's birthday memorable. After a few hours in Graces stuffy apartement, we came up with an interesting yet creative way to give Brett his gift.
I sat on the hard plastic seats of the cab on the phone with Grace while constantly adjusting my trench coat not wanting to flash the driver. "I still can't believe how badass your being Kim, look at you butt naked in a cab. I'm so proud" Grace cooed on the other line. Grace had always wanted me to get out of my comfort zone in highschool but I failed to do so. Once I got on board with the whole YOLO thing, I began loosening up and taking more risks.
"I feel so exposed Grace, like what if-" I began but Grace cut me off abruptly, I could feel her glare frew the phone "But nothing! Brett is going to love this!" The taxi slowly began coming to a stop and the man turned around to face me, I held up a finger telling him one minute as I scavenged threw my purse looking for the money and bidding Grace goodbye. "Ok Grace I gotta get going I'm here! And I about to get laaaaaid!" I sang threw the line. Grace let out a laugh and said goodbye.
Once I had paid the cab driver, I scurried out the the car adjusting my trench coat yet again. This was going to be one hell of a suprise for Brett.
"Hello?" I asked once I opened the door to only hear the slightest bit of noise from from upstairs, I quickly closed the door and threw my purse and keys on our ugly blue sofa I have asked him many times to throw away but he never agrees stating that "it suits the room". Suits the room my ass.
My stilettos clinked quietly going up the oak steps, not wanting to blow my cover and ruin the suprise for my handsome brunet boyfriend.
I was just about to open the door when a noise stopped me, frozen I waited to hear it again. It was...a...moan? What? Confused, I swung the door open to see Brett laying down on the bed with a naked Donna Tobin underneath him. Both their heads turned towards me with open mouths, words caught in their throats. I gasped as I felt tears going down my cheeks.
"Kim...you're home early" Brett greeted sheepishly. I looked at him with a 'really' facial expression and his stupid half smile was wiped off his face. "Well I guess I should leave" noted Donna as she pushed off my soon to be ex-boyfriend and grabbed her scattered articles of clothing. When she was finally out of the room I turn to Brett my face red with rage, I began screaming and yelling multiple insults and comments saying how we're over before grabbing a box full of my stuff and stomping out of the house ignoring his calls and pleads.
"So that's why I'm here, begging for a place to live. I mean this place is beautiful, so open and filled with light...Brett hated light" I look down dissapointed still unable to believe I'd spent six years with that asshole.
"Eddie knows what you're talking about, he got dumped! I think he reacted at least 10x worse than you did. I mean look at him, he's still a mess and she dumped him like 4 months ago!" one of the strangers said as he gestured to Eddie a pudgy african-american man who was now slouching with a sad expression on his face. Just then a tall attractive brunet boy walked in with a beer in his hand.
"Jerry, you've never been in a relasonship and if you were for as long as Eddie and Kelsey were I think you would understand how hard it is to breakup with someone you really love" stated the unknown brunet who'm I couldn't take my eyes off of.
Jerry scoffed at the statement "Puh-lease do you think any mamacitas could contain them selves after seeing all this?" he asked before removing his shirt and smirking while striking some sort of awkward pose.
I exchanged glances with the three other grossed out guys before the brunet spoke up again "Dude...jar now." Jerry began grumbling in spanish before putting a five dollar bill into a clear jar labeled "Douche Bag Jar".
"Oh Kim we never really introduced ourselves, I'm Milton, this is Eddie, Jerry and that's Jack" Milton said. I gave them all a wave before looking around my surroundings again wanting so desperatly so live here.
"I get if you guys don't want me here and want some sort of "man cave" but I'm sick of living with my friend, she's a model, all her friends are models and they always want me to do impressions of a monkey in a russian vodka commercial that I've never even seen."
"How about we go and vote to see if you can move in while you just stay right here" said Eddie, I gave a quick nod and watched as the four figures left the room. I began walking around looking at the many books and movies they had until ai was interrupted by someone clearing their throat.
"Hey, so we've decided that we want you to stay. Welcome." Jack said. I let out a loud squeal.
"You guys are not going to regret this"