There was an old, black and white, dirty and faded image of his father somewhere far in the back of Cloud's mind which, only on the extremely rare day when he had nothing much else to do other than sit and think, did he recall it and picture it behind his eyelids. It held nothing of importance for him as he hadn't known the man for long at all, yet for some reason he felt he needed to feel attached to his father.
There were several reasons for Cloud's assumption and they all had something to do with the people whom he knew in his life.
Denzel and Marlene needed a father.
Tifa was distraught when her father died.
In order to become a better father Barrett had gone on a quest to atone for his sins.
Fathers were strung around his life like a spider web and he therefore found himself, on days such as this, wondering why he couldn't have been closer to his own. Why had his father left him, anyway?
And how was he supposed to be a good father for Marlene and Denzel when he had nothing to base his actions on? He had no idea how to act around them as a father because he had never experienced it. Tifa gave him suggestions sometimes, yes, but he felt as though he was missing something vital which everyone else had.
Then again, Sephiroth never mentioned anything about his father and instead only spoke of his mother - even if the woman he spoke of was not even related to him. Perhaps Cloud didn't need a father and only needed a mother. If Sephiroth could survive without a fathers guidance then he could too.
But it didn't take a brainiac to work out that Sephiroth's example may not have been the best to follow.
Thoughts such as these always left Cloud feeling slightly drained and empty, which was why he often stopped himself before he got too deep into the subject. Although his subconscious mind could not help but wonder what life could have been like for him if he'd had a father.
Would he have made it into SOLDIER?
Would he have been more outgoing and had the courage to ask Tifa out earlier?
Would the fate of Tifa's father still be the same?
Would the other children from Nibelheim still tease him?
By the time he realised he was thinking these things he usually scolded himself and forced himself to concentrate on something else. There was absolutely no point in dwelling on the past and things which he had no ability to change. Didn't all his friends keep telling him to move on?
It was time to forget the past.
It was time to forget that memory.