by Heaven Waits
I step outside to write once more
of mythical lands and legends of yore
but I feel I swallow a large jagged pill
that leaves me shaking and quaking with ill.
Who am I? What will I be?
Am I a message in a bottle tossed out to sea?
I toss in thundrous storms that surge in waves
to a far distant beach surrounded by graves.
I shake and I scream rattling my cage.
Pent up with anger melting to rage.
I want to scream and escape out into the night.
But a spectre clutches me tight in sinister delight.
Perhaps it caused by the sameness of days
of the re-runs melting like a soft blurry haze
I do the same things over and day to day
It seems I never get a chance to do as I may.
Work and sleep, for paper earned so cheap.
Paper to wipe the tears that I weep.
I struggle, I strain treading in a icey river
I toss in its eddies and battle the shiver.
I question the very meaning of my life
and wonder why it is filled with such strife.
I ponder if I could be one's good wife
I spin in my hand a soft butter knife.
All I want is to live without worry
but it always makes me squint in its flurry.
What is this that I do? Why do I constantly think of you?
What will happen if I give in?
Could you be regal, the most noble of men?
What If I took your heart in my hand?
Would it suddenly turn to grains of sand?
Could it be? Is it only silly mere lust?
Do I dare share myself? Can I dare trust?
I could talk to you for all the hours in a day
and never tire of the things you may say.
But I pull and I twist to run far from you
to a comfy chair and a safe but lonesome view.
There I can sit and think and blink
as sands of time float and sift on the brink
daring me to turn the hourglass upside down
and run to you in a white flowing gown.
I live in fairy tales filled with brave knights
who valiently fight for a damsels delight.
You bow to me daily and show me your pledge
as I hide behind a thorny rose hedge.
I do not dare step out into view
but tilt my ear and listen to you.
Your heart spills words of devotion
professing love vaster than any the deep blue ocean.
I lean closer to hear you whisper " I am sure
that love can be good..That love can be pure!"
So my hand scrapes as I slide it to you
Your eyes jump as you see it in view.
You clasp it in yours and touch it to your face
as my heart now beats at a fast steady pace.
I wince holding back my trembling fears
afraid to let go from that memory of tears.
You promise to love me till death do us part
you pledge unto me that I own your heart.
I whisper to you slowly in reason
"perhaps today my be a new season.
I do think you have proven your valor,"
as my cheeks give on a red glow of palor.
"Do not rush me of this will never do
for I shall run and vanish from view.
I can give you myself only in small doses"
as I step out timid ever slowly behind the roses.
I look into your eyes and get blinded like a bright sunrise.
I tell you to be patient or it will be our great demise.
I want us to grow stronger each day
"Tis all I can do, in this I won't sway.".
You nod in agreement and bend down on one knee
I bend down also so that you may see
"I am not above you nor below..
I just want to be beside you wherever you go."
I close my eyes and kiss your lips,
and trace lines down your face with my finger-tips.
I feel sparks rising like embers drifting apart
I pull at your hair and paw at your heart.
I collide into you like water to a puddle
My hands start to wander and my head is a fuddle
I fumble and stumble while my throats starts to rumble
My wall of defenses now shift and they crumble.
We fall down side by side entwined so tight
Our bodies emit a soft glow of light.
As we press closer feverishly into the night
melding together like mercury's height.
I gasp and place my hands on your chest
"You make me so happy, you make me so blessed."
I kiss the tip of your nose with a wink
and back through the hedgerow I slink.
You look forlorn, sad and then mad.
I whisper back "for this please be glad."
"For your heart now beats double
nay think of woe and of trouble."
I slide my hand over yours like a glove
I open it "For now you carry with you, my love."
Inside your hand is a tiny love token
of just what is is remains unspoken.
You place it tightly against you heart
and worry no more when I have to part.
The morning dove now coos announcing the new day
as the Knight sets out for his dragons to slay.
The fair lady whistles by the garden gate
day dreaming of her knight lying in wait.
Two young lovers suffering and tossed by fate,
were kept apart.
But magnets cannot live long separate.
They are pulled to another every night under the stars
and there share a love like of Venus and of Mars.