Author's Note: Hi. I'm not exactly new to fan fiction but I am very new to Glee fan fiction so this is my very first Glee fiction. I'd appreciate any feedback you may have. I have some of the next chapter written but I want to see what people think before I set the story in a definitive direction.

Disclaimer: Don't own Glee or its characters or ideas. Consider this story disclaimed.

She loves the snow and one good thing, maybe the only good thing, about living in Lima, Ohio is the crisp, clean snow that falls every winter. It's pure and beautiful, everything she wished she was. But despite her renewed vow of abstinence, she'll never be pure again. She lost that when she let her insecurities get the best of her and allowed herself to get carried away with her then boyfriend's best friend. And she isn't beautiful, at least not on the inside. Sure she's gorgeous, she knows that, the entire school knows that, anyone who looks at her knows that, but she doesn't feel beautiful.

She is mean and self-centered and sometimes just plain bitchy. She has her good days where her sweet disposition wins out, but more often than not, she has bad days. On these days all that matters is that she protects the perfect image she worked so hard to obtain. On these days, she's ugly. She has everything a teenage girl could wish for, good grades, popularity, the head cheerleading position, friends, and a hot boyfriend, but it isn't enough to truly make her feel good.

She'll never admit it but the stares she gets from guys when she walks down the hall used to make her feel larger than life. She loved, no she needed, the attention. So when the star quarterback asked her out in the fall of her sophomore year, of course she said yes. She didn't particularly feel anything for Finn, but he was cute and sweet and most importantly, popular. But of course it wasn't enough.

She tried to use Puck to feel good but all that got her was fat and eventually heartbroken. When he invited her over to his house that night she knew it was a mistake. He had a reputation and she had a boyfriend. But her boyfriend was too clueless to realize she needed constant reassurance. Puck knew though because Puck could spot a needy insecure girl a mile away. So he laid on the charm and plied her with cheap wine and insincere compliments and of course she went for it.

After Beth she vowed to stop seeking male attention to validate herself. Because she can't go through it again. She can't deal with the gossip and the stares and being anywhere other than the top of the social pyramid. She can't hand her baby over to a complete stranger and act like her heart isn't being torn out of her chest in the process. Not again. She won't do it.

So when Sam gets on one knee and asks her to be his girlfriend, she hesitates. But he's so damn eager and cute that she swears this time will be different. And although she's happy with him, she still has bad days. She made a promise to God and herself not to have sex again till she's married and she fully intends on keeping that promise, but she never promised to abstain from other less than Christian behavior.

The Glee club has become like a surrogate family to her. She had certainly done her share of damage within the group but they never turn their backs on her. It was easy for a while to get lost in the competition and forget that she wasn't exactly on the best of terms with every member. She had ignored Artie and Tina, allowed Kurt to be picked on, broken Finn's heart, used Puck, dethroned Sananta as head Cheerio, and then there was Rachel. She had tortured the girl since the second week of high school. Yet no one seemed to hold her accountable for any of it.

She remembers her first encounter with Rachel Berry. The school was so big and the halls were so crowded, Quinn was sure she'd never find her homeroom. As she frantically scanned the school map they had provided at freshman orientation, an older girl in a red cheer leading uniform bumped into her. "Learn to walk, freshman!" the girl scoffed as she strutted past her, two other girls laughing at her side.

She started walking but the numbers on the door were going down instead of up and she only had two minutes till the first bell. She was going to be late on her very first day and if she got detention, her father would never let her hear the end of it. She looked around desperately but the crowd had already started to dwindle as students disappeared into classrooms and around corners.

"Are you lost too?" She turned slightly to see a small brunette with a backpack nearly as big as she. The girl was holding the same map as Quinn but she didn't look as lost. "I swear this place was designed by Daedalus himself!" the brunette huffed. "What room are you looking for?"

Quinn marveled at the tiny girl with the loud voice. "212"

The girl grinned widely. "Me too!" She glanced at her map quickly before tossing her head back and declaring confidently, "I think it's this way." Quinn followed eagerly. "I'm Rachel, by the way," she said as they rounded a corner.

"Quinn." Her mouth fell open when they stopped in front of a door with "212" written across it. She had never been so relieved in her life and she had Rachel to thank for it.

"Well Quinn, looks like we made it," Rachel said smiling. They sat together in homeroom and promised to find each other in the cafeteria so they wouldn't have to eat lunch alone.

Quinn's first week at McKinely High went smoother than she had imagined. She had three classes with Rachel besides homeroom and with the loud outgoing girl at her side, she didn't have to walk the treacherous halls alone.

"So Quinnie, did you make any friends at school?" her mother had asked when that first week came to an end.

Quinn straightened up in her seat. "Yes. Her name is Rachel Berry. We have a few classes together."

"Berry? Doesn't sound familiar," her dad interjected. "Does her family go to our church?"

"No, Daddy. They're Jewish."

Her father nodded and smirked. She wasn't sure what was so funny about her new friend being Jewish but she knew better than to question her father. "So what does her father do?" Mr Fabray continued.

"One's an accountant and the other is a nurse," Quinn answered. Suddenly she found her peas very interesting. She poked the food on her plate intently.

Her father nearly choked on his wine. "She has two fathers?" he asked incredulously. "Are they gay?"

"Yes, Daddy."

Judy Fabray looked up at her daughter and shook her head. "Oh, that poor girl," she gasped. "Being raised in a house of sin. Without a mother. She must be so lost."

Quinn couldn't help but think how wrong her mother was. Rachel was the least lost person she knew. She was the lost one.

"This is what we get for sending her to public school," her father said as he slammed a fist down on the dinning room table. "I told you, Judy, we should have sent her to St. Anne's. Lord knows what other influences she'll have to endure in that place!"

Her mother frowned. "Quinnie, maybe you should try to make some other friends."

"What's wrong with Rachel? She's really nice," Quinn protested.

"Your father and I would just like to see you form more proper friendships, darling. High School is a critical time in a young lady's life and the connections you form can shape your life forever. Maybe you could go out for cheerleading," her mother suggested brightly.

The following Monday Quinn followed her mother's advice, except she tried to convince Rachel to try out with her. Rachel declined, rattling off a long list of extra-curricular activities she was already committed to and insisting she didn't look like a cheerleader.

When she made the squad she couldn't wait to share the good news with her friend. Rachel smiled and congratulated her but something seemed off. Quinn would later realize that Rachel knew right then that things would change between the two of them once she put on that Cheerio uniform.

And per usual, Rachel was right.

The older girl on the squad who had bumped into Quinn on the first day of school caught the two freshman walking together in the hall.

"What are you doing, Fabray?" she asked.

"Going to class," Quinn answered, a bit puzzled by the look of contempt on her teammate's face.

The girl pointed at Rachel. "With that?" she asked with blatant disgust. "How can you be with someone who dresses like a blind pre-schooler?" Quinn noticed Rachel looking at the floor as the girl insulted her and it was the first time she actually looked her size. "Come on, Fabray. If you want to be on the squad you can't hang out with losers."

So Quinn allowed herself to be dragged away from Rachel Berry and it's the moment she started to feel like something was missing.

At fist she was just an observer in the Rachel Berry torment, but eventually she's a participant and finally, a leader. And through it all Rachel never says a word. She just looks up at Quinn with pleading eyes and takes the abuse and humiliation.

The other girls on the squad start to admire her for all the wrong reasons and laugh appreciatively when she comes up with a new embarrassing names to call Rachel. It's not enough but it's something and soon she needs their acceptance to fill the void, even if it's only temporary, so she dials it up and takes pleasure in her one time friend's pain.

She had thought she had conditioned herself not to care about Rachel Berry but she was wrong.

::Thanks for reading. I swear it'll pick up a bit in the next chapter.