Disclaimer: All rights go to their Respective owner. I Own the Spartans.
"Talking over the phone"
"Thinking"
D'arby has an accent and likes to extent words like Go~od, Wo~uld, and Sho~uld in a creepy way.
Cheap Trick
by: GreatQuestion
The Spartans. An elite group of assassins who specialize in one thing, and one thing only: annihilation of criminal families. When a family has committed unforgivable actions against another family, the Spartans are called in to completely annihilate them.
Dino and Mukuro had a run in with one of the Spartans a while back when Mukuro faked being stabbed to trick Dino, Dimitro "Dio" Diavolo. After this little set up, Dino wanted revenge on both of them. First off was Dio, He could get Mukuro back later.
"You want me to give you the secrets of one of my own members, Cavallone?" The voice on the other side of the phone, the leader of the Spartans, lazily snapped at Dino.
"Yes, Hanataka, you see..."
"Okay, I'll tell you..." Dino didn't even finish his sentence.
"Wait What?"
"Not like I really care about Dio, that blonde haired bastard... Talking about him interrupts my naps... Go to the 4 Queens Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada and play a game with a man named D'arby... He'll tell you whatever you want to know."
"Okay, Thanks."
"Just hang up already, I wanna go back to sleep...-Click-"
Nearly a week of research later, Dino appeared in the 4 Queens casino. "Excuse me..." The Bartender looked up at Dino. "You wouldn't happen to know a man name D'arby around here?"
"Depends, you know where my foot's gonna be if you don't order anything?"
"Okay... I'll have an Iced te..."
"It'll be up your ass.... Just Saying."
The Bartender handed Dino an Iced tea, and he canonballed it like it was scotch and he was Xanxus. As he slammed the glass down, 5 people held up score cards:
USA- 10.0, UK- 10.0, France- 10.0, Japan- 10.0, Germany- 7.4
"AH F--K YOU GERMANY!" Dino Yelled, throwing the glass at the 5th person. The Bartender pointed towards a poker table. Dino walked up to the table and took a seat, the dealer sitting across from him shot him a glare. "Daniel J. D'arby I presume?"
"Ye~s, And who might you be?" Daniel J. D'Arby, Aka D'arby the gambler, a mafia informant who'll get you whatever you want to know, only if you beat him in a gambling game. He was a man with curly brown hair, Mustache, and a smile that anyone would be wary of.
"I'm Dino, and I'm looking for some information on Dimitro Diavolo, I'm willing to pay ..."
"Now now good sir, If I'm going to give you this information, I don't want money for it."
"Hmm... Very well." Dino pulled a paper out of his pocket and handed it to D'arby.
"... what's this?"
"That's a picture... of me... sitting on a coach... with a dolphin plushie... naked. This picture was on Pineapple Love magazine's top 10 most sexiest mafia bosses. I was Number 1, beating Tsuna from the Vongola... and Byakuran of the Millefiore."
"How... Recent is that pictur..."
"Very... Very recent."
"Well... that's not... what... I had... in mind..." D'arby returned the photo and regained his composure. "Let me make it simpler for you. If you like to gamble, I tell you I'm you Man. You win some, you lose some... It's all the same to me." He snapped and a waitress carrying too drinks walked up. "You see that man over there?" He pointed to a man in a black coat sitting at the bar. " Let's bet on which drink he'll take, The red one or the blue one. If you win, I'll tell you about what you need to know about Diavolo, But if I win, you have to give me something of equal value... let's say... you're life!" Dino gave a shocked expression at these stakes, "andthatpictureofyounaked."
"FINE! I'll take your bet, He'll go for the blue!"
"Go~od" D'arby motioned for the waitress to go and she walked over to the man at the bar and offered him a drink.
"If I were that man, I would go for the blue one... come on dude... pick the..." The man reached up and took the red one. "WHAT!"
"Well, I guess I win, which means you've got to pay up." D'arby's grin gave Dino a sinking feeling.
"Kukuku, Not so fast there, Gambler." A familiar cackle called out from behind Dino.
"M-m-m-m-m-m-MUKURO!" Dino stuttered as everyone's favorite pineapple appeared, sipping a glass of blue drink.
"Your naive Dino, you forget that all gambling matches are liar games." Mukuro's smirk was equally creepy to D'arby's.
"What, What do you mean?"
"Simple, you see, he...
-One explanation later-
"...Intercourse. Alright D'arby, We're gonna settle this with a game of Poker." Mukuro sat at the table and gave a threatening glare and grin.
"Now why wo~uld I play you in a game a poker, sir? It's my best game, But alright. I just need you to ay those 4 little words."
"Alright, I bet my life."
"Fine." D'arby slide some chips over to Mukuro. "Win these 5 Dino chips from me, and I'll let Dino go, win these 5 Diavolo chips, and I'll tell you about Diavolo, and there'll be 5 blank chips I'll also have before the others, Making the total to be 15 chips you can win."
"Seems simple enough."
"But If I win these 10 chips from you, you forfeit your life to me. Deal?"
"Deal."
D'arby got a deck from one of the waitresses and started to deal the cards, "Then It's time to D-d-d-d-d-d-d-due-AAAAAAAAAAAALLL!" He screamed as a trident was pierced through his hand.
"If you try to make another Yu-gi-oh reference... the next one's going through your face. Dino, Go find someone else to deal the cards, to make sure he doesn't cheat."
"Uh... okay" A few moments and a couple slaps later, Dino came back with a waitress.
"Game on D'arby."
The waitress quickly dealt the both of them five cards, D'arby picked his up and observed them. "I'm betting 2 chips." As D'arby placed two chips in the pot, he noticed something. Mukuro was just staring at D'arby with his confident grin, his cards just laying on the table. "Hey, Why aren't you looking at your cards, sir?"
"I hold."
"Well, that much I know, but why Wo~uldn't you look at your cards? You co~uld have yourself a bad hand!" D'arby was getting a little flustered at this turn of events.
"I'm betting all 10 chips on this hand."
Dino reacted with shock and mumbled some to the degree of "Crazy ass bastard."
"Okay fine. That Shou~ld not be a problem. HEY! Deal me, I say, Deal me another card women!" The dealer quickly handed him another card and secretly winked at him. The cards in D'arby's hand was a four-of-a-kind of Kings, He smiled at this. "Hahaha, What these bums don't know is that I control everyone in, and around this here casino. No matter who they chose, they would end up with a bad hand." "I'll call you your bet with my 5 extra chips, all the Dino chips... and also, I'll raise you the entire stack of Diavolo chips!"
"But Mukuro doesn't have that many chips to raise!"
"What about your minions? You can best with their lives right?"
"Okay." Mukuro took a bite out of the bag of chips on the table
D'arby quickly snapped to something. "HEY! Where'd you get those chips from!"
"What, this? You want one?"
"When did he..." D'arby stared in awe, wondering when or where did he get those chips. Mukuro just stared back... taking a slurp out of a glass of red juice. Once again, the gambler snapped at this as well. "WHERE'D YOU GET THAT JUICE!"
"Before I answer that... I wanna make a raise. I'M BETTING THE VONGOLA BOSS' LIFE." Mukuro said and stood in a dramatic fashion.
"W-w-what!" The always calm gambler was now flustered and breathing heavy.
"But I don't want you to bet with someone's life, or some little info. I want you to raise with something of equal value... THE SECRET OF DIO'S POWER"
"WHAT!" D'arby stumbled backward and began to hyperventilate. Anyone who's heard of the Spartans know one thing, NEVER REVEAL THE SECRET OF THEIR POWERS! If you do, then you're dead. "THE... THE C-C-CHIPS... THE J-J-J-JUICE... MAYBE... MAYBE I-I-I MISUNDERsto~od THEM... If I win... I get the vongola boss! If I lose..... No... NO!" D'arby couldn't even think straight under this stress, he stumbled and got up, he words were just a jumbled mess.
"Well? Call or fold D'arby! WHAT'S IT GONNA BE D'ARBY! WHAT'S IT GONNA F---ING BE!" Mukuro's scream added onto the stress.
"FUNAGH MUNADADE CEALFCEA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH................" D'arby fell silent. As someone walked up to him, he simply fell over, knocking a conveniently place drink cart over.
"Hmm... He fainted, Guess I win."
Dino snapped to reality and looked at the cards Mukuro had... a 2, a 6, a Jack, a Queen, and an 8... Nothing... "What the! YOU HAD NOTHING!"
"And that Dino, is how you win against a gambler."
"You sly bastard...." Dino ran over to the collapsed gambler. "D'arby! Where is Diavolo!"
"H-h-he's in good ol' C-c-c-cairo! WHERE THE Fo~od STORE USE TO BE!"
"And his power! What is his power!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"
"No use, he won't say. Thanks for your help Mukuro... I gotta go to Cairo!"
"Not so fast," Mukuro grabbed Dino by the collar. "You're my bitch now."
"Oh SHIT!"
-Dramatic ending Music-
Show of hands, how many of you made a face at the picture of Dino sentence?
All others, R&R