A/N: Hello, hello. This is some random thing that just came up.
Dunno really where I was going with this, but here it is. So pointless really.
Being Selfish
"How did you know?"
Kumiko looked up from her phone, an eyebrow raised at the vague and non-descript question the girl asked her. She stared across the table that separated them. The slightly greasy tabletop made her skin crawl, but she was going to wash this jacket anyway.
"How did you know you two weren't meant to be?"
Kumiko inhaled sharply, a deep pang in her chest as she processed what she meant.
"Hazuki…" Kumiko let out an exasperated sigh, not wanting to cater to the girl's apparent lack of tactfulness.
"S-sorry. I didn't it mean like that. It's just that…I thought things were going so well between you two. You got an apartment together and you were even talking about getting married…" Hazuki trailed off, averting her eyes down at the floor, but snuck a quick peek to gauge Kumiko's reaction.
The former euphonium player simply sat there, unmoving, no sign of emotion on her face. Her usually animated golden eyes were blank, as they had been most days. It had been three months since Kousaka Reina had moved overseas and it had been three months since Hazuki had seen her best friend.
Because…the girl sitting in front of her now was a complete stranger.
Hazuki bit her lip, feeling an uncomfortable emotion well up inside her. She thought it would help if Kumiko talked about the breakup with someone, but maybe she was wrong.
"Kumiko, I'm sorry. I was just worried about you. I didn't meant to pry, you-"
"We were happy, you know?"
Hazuki held her breath. Kumiko's voice was quiet, distant, and…hostile almost. The short haired brunette waited for Kumiko to continue.
"I loved her."
A pause, but she didn't stop because it was too hard to reminisce. She was angry. Hazuki heard the emotion in the girl's voice now.
"So much."
A tinge of sadness, but still, full of quivering rage.
Hazuki swallowed, her eye catching movement as Kumiko clenched her fists until her knuckles turned white.
"Life is just full of things you can't control." Kumiko narrowed her eyes slightly as she let out a sigh.
Hazuki furrowed her brows in concern. Still, she needed to know. "Then why did you do it?"
Kumiko looked to the woman, again raising an eyebrow.
"Why did you let her go so easily?" Hazuki chose her words, saying them slowly, careful not to be too obvious with her disapproval.
"Because I love her too much." Kumiko looked away suddenly, her eyes focusing on the people who passed the fast food restaurant outside.
The emotion was gone from Kumiko's voice, returning to that flaccid monotone that Hazuki hated.
"Sometimes I wish I didn't love Reina as much as I did." Kumiko said as she continued to look out the window.
Hazuki was confused, but continued with her prompting. It was the first time in weeks that she had gotten the girl to say more than a few words. "What do you mean?"
"I just wanted her to be happy. I wanted her to finally reach that goal she's been working so hard for. If I loved her any less, I would have been selfish and asked her to stay." A flicker of regret flashed through Kumiko's eyes as she listened to herself talk.
"Isn't it her fault for being the selfish one?" Hazuki raised the question, still harboring a disdain for the trumpeter who left her best friend without a second thought.
Kumiko's head whipped around to stare Hazuki down. She scoffed, almost condescendingly. "You don't know Reina like I do. She's not as cold as you think. She hesitated to go. She even threw away the job offer without telling me. I saw the letter in the trash."
Hauzki bristled slightly at the woman's cold tone, but she continued. "Then what happened?"
"I was the one who broke up with her." This time, Kumiko smiled. It was a strange sight, a smile mixed with self-disdain and dripping with self-loathing. "She cried and screamed and begged me not to leave."
Hazuki was speechless, caught off guard by the revelation of a truth she didn't expect. She swallowed her shock with a gulp, but she recovered, another question coming to mind.
"I do regret letting her go, but I had to." Kumiko said out of the blue, as if reading Hazuki's mind. "She's my soulmate, really. I don't think I could live without her."
That statement was unnerving for Hazuki, but she kept quiet, the silence prompting Kumiko to continue.
"But there's something that keeps me going every day." Kumiko let her lips curl up at the ends. It was more genuine, less burdened with disdain.
"I know that no matter what, we'll see each other again."
Hazuki was frustrated now, wondering if Kumiko had lost it. "How do you know that? What if she never comes back?"
Again, Kumiko scoffed, shaking her head. "You don't know her like I do."
Turning her head and looking out the window once more, Kumiko sighed. It was absurd, but she knew that deep down, she was right. She had never believed in fate, but she felt it now. She knew Reina was her one and only. She could feel that imaginary red thread tightening around her finger, tugging and pulling, constantly reminding her that Reina was out there on the other end.
