Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. If I did, the books wouldn't be Edward/Bella but Edward/Jasper or something just as delicious.

It was frustrating. My whole relationship with Bella was frustrating. Sure, I loved her, but it was always me who had to restrain myself. And it didn't help that she was such a temptation.

Everything was going fine until she moved to Forks. We had lived there for a couple of years, and no one was suspicious. Except the wolves, of course. All the kids in school thought we were strange, freaks or something similar. It didn't really bother us, we were used to it.

But then Bella happened. The first time she walked into that room, I could immediately smell her. The others could as well. I could hear her asking that girl about us, and feel her glances over at our table. She was curious, most people were. But it surprised me that I couldn't read her mind. It surprised Carlisle as well. We had never met anyone who could do that. But we quickly let it go, she was just a girl. Maybe she was a bit special, but she was just like everyone else otherwise.

Then she sat next to me in Biology. She smelled so delicious. I just wanted to bury my theeth in her neck and taste her blood. It had been ages, since the urge had been so strong. I had learned to control myself over the years. It was tempting, all that blood around me, but I had gotten used to animal blood long time ago.

From that day on we knew that Bella was something special.

She was still curious, and kept bugging me for answers. I didn't regret saving her, but it was annoying that she had even noticed anything. She kept asking me, over and over again. And not for the first time, did I wish that I could read her mind. It would have been so much easier. She was too curious, and eventually figured the whole thing out. Afterwards, she fell in love with me. And I fell in love with her.

At first I thought that it was just blood thirst. Because when she smelled so delicious, just being near her satisfied me. After spending time with her, though, I always had to go hunt. But eventually, the blood thirst faded a bit, and I discovered that it wasn't that.

I had fallen in love with a human.

Shit. I immediately knew that that meant trouble. And I was right, just a few weeks after Bella and I had begun to...date, James showed up. And just like me, he could smell how delicious her blood was. Then the hunt began. It all ended in that dancing room. I knew I had to suck the poison out of her. And that I probably wouldn't be strong enough to resist sucking her blood as well. But rather that than Bella becoming a vampire. A monster. She shouldn't be cursed with this, like we were.

Her blood was so good. Human blood tasted better than I could remember.

But I stopped. I'm still not sure how I managed to do that, Alice says it was because of love, but I'm not really sure. I do love Bella, but her blood was so good.

A few months after the incident, I decided to go. I couldn't keep putting Bella in danger like this. She was in constant danger just by being with me. And she would much happier with some other guy. She could get married, have kids and get her happily ever after. She wouldn't be able to do that with me. She would always be danger, there would always be threats, people wanting her blood. Even my own family, even I, wanted her blood. We couldn't help it.

So I left for Italy. I knew i was going to miss her, but I didn't expect that it would be that much. I was miserable without her. I was depressed, barely ate or went outside my hotel. I was actually happy to see her, when her and Alice finally showed up. Even if I was concerned, especially with the Volturi around, I couldn't help but to be happy to see her.

I could smell it as soon as we got home. The wolves. It didn't help that Bella had gotten closer to that Quileute boy, Jacob, while I was gone. I didn't blame her, but it just got the whole thing even more complicated. He showed me how she had been while I was in Italy. It shocked me. After wards I told myself never to leave her again.

Then there was a few months without problems. It gave us time to take a breath. Victoria, in rage over James' dead, had decided to get revenge. My Bella for her James. Quite an unfair deal, I thought. We had to stop her, I knew that. Hundreds of people were dying because of us, because of my love for Bella.

We had to fight her, fight them, all the newborn vampires. They were angry, because of the transformation. It had been painful, I could remember that. And now they wanted blood. We had to get help. And there was no one else to turn to but the wolves. Tanya, and the other vampires were not an option, Carlisle said.

We had to unite with the wolves. Bella was thrilled. She saw an option for me and Jacob to become friends. That was never going to happen. Not with the things he thought about her.

We fought, and again, Bella was in danger. Like always. But we managed to fight the newborns. With the help from the wolves.

Then Bella and I got married. I am old school, I wanted us to get married. Also, to push the whole sex thing a couple of months. Because I knew that it would just be another thing where I had to restrain myself. Like with everything else I did with her. It wasn't as hard when you were wit many people, like in school, but not actually close to anyone. Plus, I had the others to help me there. If anything went wrong, we could always stop each other.

But with Bella, I had to restrain myself. There was no help. Every time I kissed her, I had to stop myself from sinking my teeth into her pale flesh. And if we went further, I was afraid I would lose control. Bella was so naive, she didn't see the danger she had placed herself in. She didn't know how tempting she was to me.

I wouldn't transform her. I didn't want her to be like this, like us, me. I didn't want her to have to restrain herself like we did every day just to be able to live a somewhat normal life. I didn't want her to have to leave her family, her friends, just to be sure that she didn't drink their blood. I didn't want her to lose Jacob, just because of this. I didn't like him, but he meant a lot to Bella.

And then of course, she had to get pregnant. Someone was really not liking me. Just when you thought that you couldn't get pregnant, she did. Another thing to worry about. It wasn't that I didn't want children, I just didn't want children who had to experience this. It had hard enough for us, when we were in our late teens, but it would be even harder for a child. It would be lonely, even with all of us around it.

Everyone got excited about the pregnancy. Rosalie, of course, as well. I thought she would have been on my side, for once, but then she teamed up with Bella. And I knew that I wouldn't get my way, with the two of them united.

Bella got weaker. It was draining her for her powers. And her blood. There was no doubt about that. It was a vampire. Soon, Bella had to drink blood, just to feed it. It was incredibly hard to watch her dying just because of that. Just because I had given in for her needs. Just because of me.

Renesmee was born. Bella was dying. I had to transform her. Otherwise she wouldn't make it. And much against my will I had to bury my teeth in her neck.

Bella was in pain. The venom was running in her veins. It was in her blood, everywhere. She was even beginning to smell like a vampire. Her delicious scent was disappearing, everything human was disappearing. The human in her was disappearing.

When she woke up, she was completely transformed. Her voice was different, her eyes was different, she had become more graceful, her body was transformed. She was different. Like a whole new Bella.

It was strange, that she had changed so much. It was strange looking at her now. In stead of the dark brown eyes I had gotten used to, was now red. Or golden brown, or black. She wasn't Bella anymore. Not until she began talking. I let out a relived sigh.

This had been much against my will, but it was definitely worth all the trouble. Bella was definitely worth all the trouble.

A/N: I dunno why I wrote this. I don't even like Edward/ Bella. Poor Edward, Bella is not even close to being good enough for him, and he has to restrain himself every time he's with her. Plus all the guilt every time she gets hurt. It's not easy being Edward. Hm..well, reviews are always lovely.