One would think she'd be used to it by now. Although some things were still the same, most things were different between here and home. She was aware when she left home that of course some things were going to be. After all, she had gone to the other side of the world. Clutching the box in her hands, the cardboard giving way to her nails served as a grim reminder of the current position she was in. This time, she thought that—while slow on some aspects—she was doing good at this job. A desk job wasn't something that was common for people her age back home. Usually people in their early 30's were the ones dominating the salary person's force. Her resume had been bare compared to others, but surprisingly, it hadn't deterred the company from hiring her. Looking down at the baubles and nameplate that had previously adorned her desk, she realized how much of a fool she had been.
Hot tears pricked at the corner of her eyes, her head resting on the varying objects inside the box. She crossed her ankles to keep them from shaking as they hung over the edge of Sotenbori's river bank. She had tried her hardest. Everything from making copies to writing up proposals, she had given it her all. Hadn't given up. At the end, it didn't matter.
We can't have people like you here. It's causing problems between our companies' bosses.
Her boss had been a nice man, even at the end. Sorrow was evident in his eyes as he adjusted his glasses. He had even helped her gather her belongings, much to her gratitude and her dismay. Heads peeked around and up from their desks to find the source of the commotion. He had even walked her to the front door and bid her farewell; wished her the best in everything that she did in the future. The hot tears that had been building up fell down her face. If she didn't figure something out quick… she'd be even more screwed. Her savings were drying up, and while the landlady of her apartment was a sweet woman, there was no way that she'd let her stay there for free. The companies that her bills belonged to wouldn't let her utilities continue for free either. With her saving dwindling, she didn't have money for a ticket back home either. To that end, she was stranded.
"Hey." Olivia gripped onto the box tighter, hunching into herself desperate to disappear from the world completely. "Hey!" She wanted to block out all conversations and just let herself cry. Steps came closer and she realized they were coming closer to her. Her blue eyes rose to the person approaching her. Sotenbori wasn't exactly a safe place, but she had never really feared it until now. Her blue eyes focused on the person before her which she assumed was also the person who spoke. The man was tall, probably bordering on six foot, maybe a little over with a strange undercut. Olivia preferred to remain part of the crowd as much as she could, but the man behind her wanted to make as much of a statement as he possibly could with his leather pants, gloves, and a very… interesting snakeskin jacket. Even with the bold statement of clothing, those weren't the most unique things about him at all. Peeking out from his jacket was the remnants of a tattoo. Back home, no one would bat an eye at a tattoo, in fact, they would most likely be commented on if the ink was well done. Here though… she could only think of a select few sorts of people with tattoos, especially that big. And none of them were good. The man stared down at her with a raised eyebrow and one eye, the other covered with an eyepatch.
"… I… um…" Olivia began, swallowing a lump that gathered in her throat. Terror.
"Ya shouldn't stare at people." The man with the eyepatch said. "It ain't a polite thing ta do, no matter where yer from."
Her brows furrowed and she blinked.
Her lips parted as her brain racked for a way to translate the Japanese back to her native tongue so she could understand it, and answer. The response was slow, but enough to answer.
"S-Sorry."
"So whatcha cryin' for? I ain't tryin' ta pry or nothin'." The man said and sighed. "'Course, this really ain't none of my business, is it?"
She had been in Sotenbori long enough to be used to hearing a Kansai accent, but this person's accent was so thick even among the rest of the residents. Olivia put some hair behind her ear, looking back down at the possessions in the box. He was right, staring wasn't very nice—even if she was trying to read his lips in order to decipher what he was saying quicker.
"I not able to understand quick." She admitted, gripping onto the box tighter. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw him put his hands on his hips and sigh. "I not try to stare… Sorry." The man looked terrifying enough to where with the blink of his eye, he could probably hit her once and she'd die. If the man truly did want to do her harm, he'd be able to do it quickly. Maybe talking to her was a way to get her guard down. The man waved his hand dismissively, letting her catch a glimpse of his tattoo which went further onto his back.
Oh no…
"Naw, I should be the one apologizin'." The man stated. "After all, I was the one that got all up in yer business."
Please… don't hurt me.
"I not be sure if—ah… no…" Her face grew red with embarrassment that she stumbled over her words in front of someone, even if he was terrifying, that was trying to talk to her and didn't seem to judge her. Maybe. Of course, if what she was told was true, people like him would be able to lull people into a false sense of security before they utterly tore your life apart at the seams.
"Well, I would suggest—but ya ain't got a reason ta listen to me—ya go home." Snakeskin Jacket Man said. "Cryin' is somethin' ya usually wanna do in private." Was he going to follow her home and figure out where she lived that way he would be able to demand money for her? She had no money to give. What would happen if she couldn't pay…? Would she end up dying here? The truth was, she really did want to go home, but her legs had stopped working and she ended up in her current predicament.
"…"
"Folks in Sotenbori like ta get in other people's business."
Like—
"Ah well, kinda like I'm doin' I guess." The man chuckled. A deep sound that she hadn't expected to come from him. His voice, while not annoying or girly, wasn't very deep. In fact, it sounded more like he was bordering on giggling or something all the time. Thinking that he may laugh at her, made her face burn from embarrassment to anger. "Also, it's gon' get dark soon, and ya got some stuff to carry."
Olivia looked down at her box and bit her lip.
"Either way ya look at it, don't die now. These streets can be scary to newcomers at night." The man waved his hand and then let them retreat into his pockets before turning on his heels and heading back up the metal stairs a small chuckle emanating from his lips before heading back down the street. He must've been here for a long time if he could give her such good advice on Sotenbori. Unfortunately, she would have to go through some of these "dark streets" to get back to her apartment. On the positive side, it wasn't too far away. In order to stop her from going slightly insane from everything that had happened recently, she had to keep looking at the positives. Yeah. Home. Maybe she could just explain everything to her landlady, and she'd be able to give her more time. After all, her rent was due tomorrow.
Positives… Positives…
Olivia walked down the streets, desperate to remain in the lights of the street but at the same time, she wanted to take every shortcut that she could. The further into the poorer parts of Sotenbori she went, the less lights were present and the more darkness she was forced to brave. In the distance, she could hear voices from the park, but they weren't ones of children. By this time of night, all the children would be at home with their parents. The cracklings of fire in a barrel which was the only thing keeping the homeless warm there tonight. If things didn't go well, she'd be out there soon. Maybe the landlady wouldn't throw her out. After all, she wasn't like the others at her old job. So many times, during her work hours, under the breaths of her older coworkers, she heard it—gaijin. Of course, she had learned that it wasn't truly a slander term, but… for the older coworkers who had been alive during World War II, they used it just as Americans had used slander terms for others. It wasn't that she wanted to deny where she was from, but… to be hated and looked down on because of it. She never understood why people would do that. Especially when someone would move to another country and try to learn and live among other cultures. To broaden her horizons.
"Also, it's gon' get dark soon, and ya got some stuff to carry."
The words of Snakeskin Jacket Man reverberated in her mind. She furrowed her brows and frowned. Her sadness from before turned to a bit of anger. Was he taunting her before? What did he expect her to do? Hit him? She wasn't stupid. A stranger. A foreigner, but not stupid.
"Hopefully I never run into him again." She murmured to herself before heading up the stairs to her apartment. While she was grateful she went home without incident, the idea of her impending financial troubles was pressing to the forefront of her mind. Her feet carried her passed the apartment at the first floor where the landlady stayed.
"Harper-chan." A voice, wavering and old spoke behind her. She stopped and looked down at her box again. She must've been waiting for her. Preventing an exhale from escaping her lips, she put a smile on her face and turned around.
"T-Takahiro-san." Olivia stammered, trying to make sure that she didn't break down and kept everything the way that it was now. "What I can help you with?"
"Do you have the rent?" Thankfully, Takahiro-san was a lot easier to talk to than Snakeskin Jacket Man because she had lived in Tokyo before with her husband, so she hadn't taken on the Kansai accent when she came to live in Sotenbori after her husband died.
"I… Due tomorrow, right?" Olivia tried to confirm. Takahiro-san smiled, and Olivia could tell that things were getting a little more on the strained side. There was no reason that she needed to keep her. Another great thing about Takahiro-san was that she didn't treat Olivia like a foreigner. She treated her just like she wanted to be treated, like someone that belonged there. If she ended up kicking Olivia out, she would feel terrible, however she would understand. Takahiro-san was managing a business, and it could put the woman in an even worse predicament if she didn't get the rent.
"Yes, but… Harper-chan," Takahiro-san began. "you're already a month behind."
"Y-Yes…" She cleared her throat, tightening the grip on her box again. "You'll get the rent though."
"Unfortunately, Harper-chan, I'll need all the rent tomorrow."
"All of it?"
"Yes. For the two months." Takahiro-san looked at the box in her hands and sighed. The young woman was like a daughter to her, but she was having problems herself and if she was using context clues to the fullest, she had just gotten fired. "I'm so sorry, Harper-chan."
Pushing the tears back further, she forced a smile on her lips and let a small chuckle escape. If she kept smiling, kept laughing, the sadness wouldn't be able to catch up with her while she was in front of other people,
"No… I understand." She assured, keeping the smile on her face and the tears at bay. "It your job. You have been kind at me, Takahiro-san. I try hard to get money for tomorrow." With a low bow to the older woman, she walked up the steps back to her apartment.
The four walls that had once been her home and her comfort now felt like they were taunting her. There wasn't much in here. A phone, a couple blankets, a kettle, the small kitchen that came default in all the apartments, in addition to the small things that she had brought from America. She sighed again and plopped down on the floor, sitting the box right next to her. Peeking outside of her curtain, the stars and moon shined bright even against the neon signs of Sotenbori's night life district. Part of her wanted to go to bed and never get up again. She felt like such a failure. It was stupid of her to think that she would be able to go to another country and be able to live. Her Japanese was sub-par at best, no one wanted to hire her, and when she was hired, she was quickly fired due to her language skills. The fact that she was fluent in English and was able to help with all their English calls from international companies meant nothing apparently. She grabbed onto her phone and hesitated for a moment before calling her home. The call would be expensive for her, but she just needed to hear her mother right now. She gripped onto the receiver, listening to the ringing. Even if her mother didn't pick up, she would still be charged for the call and they didn't have caller ID either.
"Olivia?" Her mother's voice was enough to almost make her cry right there. There was nothing she wanted more right now than to sit next to her on the couch and watch some movies and eat some popcorn. She had tried to find some here in Sotenbori, but apparently it wasn't popular in Japan yet. Neither was gravy which would be amazing on some biscuits. She missed home, missed her mother so, so much. "Olivia, are you there?"
"Oh. Yeah, sorry Mom." She said, gripping onto the receiver tighter. "Were you sleeping?"
"Oh, no. I was just on the phone with your grandmother." Olivia smiled. Her grandmother made some of the best cookies and when she was upset or crying, she would always bake some. With her being in Japan and unable to even taste the cookies, it drove a blade deeper into her heart. As well as her mother, her grandmother couldn't find out that she was having trouble. The woman was old and one of the last things she wanted to do was be the reason she had a stroke or heart attack or something.
"How's she doing?"
"Great. Her and your grandfather went to the disco last night."
Olivia laughed. Actually, genuinely laughed. The thought of her grandparents at the disco was funny enough. Back home, there were about three disco clubs. One of them was primarily frequented by the older generations that way they could enjoy the new fads as well without worrying about the younger group potentially hurting them.
"He's been wanting to go for a while, right?"
"Yeah, and they had a really good time. She was telling me all about it." Her mother said, happiness evident in her voice. "Enough about that though. How are you doing?"
Terrible. Horrible. On the verge of being homeless.
"I'm doing good."
"How's that job coming along?" She asked. "Are you getting along with everyone?"
"Good. I'm learning a lot."
"I know you were worried about your Japanese level. Are you studying like you said you were going to?"
"Of course." Olivia said. And she had been. Studying really hard. However, she didn't know how she would be able to explain the differences between what the books taught and how everyone in Sotenbori talked. How difficult it was to make a full sentence when faced with a Kansai accent.
"What about food? Have you learned to cook Japanese food?"
"W-Well… I'm trying." She cleared her throat and looked down. Japanese cooking was a lot harder than she had thought it was. Her apartment was also missing one of the major staples she needed to make most of the dishes that she loved buying; like onigiri. "It's a lot harder than I thought it was going to be." At the thought of onigiri and sushi all packed into a bento box her stomach rumbled. She quickly placed an arm around it and tucked into herself praying that her mother didn't hear it.
"When you get home, make sure that you make me some okay?" Olivia nodded like her mother was going to be able to see it. "What snacks do you want me to send?"
"Whatever you want to." Olivia smiled. "But don't stress yourself over it. I don't want to spoil myself on food from home." If she really did get kicked out of her apartment, there would be no place for the packages to come to. They'd be forced to return to sender which would only worry her mother; most likely terrify her actually. "When I'm craving something, I'll totally tell you though."
"Alright sweetie. I gotta make some breakfast." Olivia looked at the clock on a small stand close to where her two blankets were at. It was almost time for lunch. As if she was able to see, her mother spoke. "Well, I guess if you want to get technical, it'd be brunch."
"Alright Mom." Olivia choked on the word a little bit, blinking back the tears that came to the surface again.
"Alright sweetie. I love you. Call my anytime. I'll write you soon."
"I love you too…"
"Goodnight."
When Olivia hung up the phone, she crawled over to her closet and pulled out a box from the bottom and opened it. Inside was about 80,000 yen. She counted the bills over and over, checking to see if they were at any point sticking together. Unfortunately, she truly only had 80,000 yen. That wasn't even close enough to how much she needed by tomorrow. It was barely enough for one month… not what was she going to do? Takahiro-san would kick her out tomorrow. She had already decreased her rent by 15,000 yen when she was learning about all the trouble she was having. If she was having enough trouble with this, if she did end up running a tab from the rent, it would be to an amount she wouldn't be able to think about getting. Grasping the bills to where they crinkled, she began to cry letting the tears she had been holding in since her encounter with Snakeskin Jacket Man fell down her face and onto the bills. Her whole world was going to be turned upside down. Completely, and utterly turned upside down. What was she supposed to do?
The tears continued to fall until she had no more left and they were just dry sobs. She so desperately wanted to tell her family what was going on. She knew that they would send money, but they really weren't in a place to gather that much money to bring her and all her belongings back to America. Slowly, she placed her minor savings back into the shoebox she had deemed her safe and decided to take her shower in the morning. Setting up her makeshift futon, she fluffed up a jacket she had brought from America into a pillow and curled into the ball, ignoring the growling from her stomach as she drifted to sleep.
The sunlight practically stabbed her already sore eyes, bidding her to get up. Her body ached in every sense of the word in muscles she wasn't aware she possessed. Her hair was a mess and she gripped onto her head, trying to ignore the throbbing that was attempting to make its presence known. Pressing herself with a fair amount of difficulty off the floor, she headed to the fridge. Her stomach felt like it was consuming itself and it was making Olivia nauseous. Opening it, she saw exactly what she expected to: a bottle of water, one of tea, and half of an onigiri. Taking the tea and the onigiri, she leaned against the counter. Normally, she'd heat up the onigiri just a little bit, however, she didn't have the energy or frankly the desire to. Even after she ate, her stomach just demanded more. If she continued to not eat, she could end up getting sick and even worse—and up in the hospital. That would be one bill she wouldn't be able to pay ever. Tallying up all the ingredients she'd need to buy for some food for tonight or going out for one last meal before she was kicked out, she voted for the latter. Grabbing 800 yen from her stash, she stared at the bills before grabbing her book and heading out, locking her door behind her. After she was back on the street, she stared at the building silently saying goodbye to it before heading to get some Magutako.
The small stand on the corner was the only place in Sotenbori that made takoyaki specifically for takeout. It was incredibly tasty and one of her favorite places. Clutching her book and her bills in hand, she headed towards the stall. The man behind the counter was very sweet to her and understanding of her situation.
"Welcome." The man said. "Would you like something to drink?"
Olivia looked at the menu, squinting her eyes. She opened her English to Japanese dictionary and moved to where the characters and their sounds were. While she was familiar with most of them, she tended to get the pronunciation of some wrong or didn't remember others. "I get Oolong tea, please?"
"Of course." The man said, not commenting on her words. The man had seen her come to the stall enough to know that she was trying. Able to peek at her book, he saw notes and highlighted areas showing that she was—in fact—trying and trying hard. He handed her a large cup of tea, not charging her for the extra size. It was nice to see her coming here frequently, even though her visits had dropped some which saddened him a little. "What else can I get you?"
She looked at the menu of takoyaki. It seemed that the man had added some more meals and combos. The thought made her hands sweat. While she hadn't had the menu memorized by any means, she had been able to decipher some of it. With the new additions, she flipped through her book, trying to match some of the characters to their sound. Sounds of footsteps were starting and stopping by her. She bit her lip but was thankful that the man didn't rush her. Perhaps it was because he was around her age that he was able to be so kind. Normally she would've gotten the 16-piece takoyaki, but she was sure that wouldn't be enough for her. They were rather tiny no doubt why they were so low. Truly, she should've just gotten that and dealt with the hunger, but she didn't.
"Sour cream…fries, I can get?" She asked, confident on how she had said it. The guy behind the counter didn't correct her because she was so happy, and lately, he hadn't been able to see her smile as something always seemed to be weighing on her mind. The confidence she had built for herself fell when she heard laughter behind her. It was muffled, but it was there. "U-Um… wait… Uh…"
"Hey! Hurry it up would ya?" Someone called from the back of the line that had formed while she was trying to figure out what she wanted to order and how she was going to say it without sounding like a child. The feeling of wanting to cry returned when other people in the line continued to get upset with her for taking so long. The pages of the dictionary crinkled when she gripped it, biting into her lip. She couldn't cause a scene, not now. This wasn't her home and she wasn't sure what would happen to her if she ended up getting in trouble with the law.
"S-Sorry…" Olivia mumbled. "The Absolutely Tasty! Takoyaki, please."
"C'mon really?"
"Hurry up!"
"What's takin' so long?"
Olivia put the tea that she had just gotten on the side of the counter out of the way and stepped back, giving a small bow to the next person in line.
"I'm sorry…" She murmured again, pushing back the tears. It's true that she was there first, but they already knew what they wanted and wouldn't have a problem ordering it.
"Harper-san—" The takoyaki man began, but she shook her head.
"I come back after all have ordered." Olivia explained and headed to the back of the line. Sighing again, she hunched into her shoulders her stomach rumbling even more from the smell of the food. Of course, she was sure all these people were on break from work or on their way to their jobs…. She didn't have one anymore, so she could wait for the more important people to go first. If things didn't have to be cooked to order, she wouldn't have had to wait too long, but like most places in Japan, especially street food, was cooked to order. By the time she had returned to the front, she felt like puking from nausea as the sun was well past noon.
"You wanted Oolong tea, sour cream fries, and Absolutely Tasty! Takoyaki, right?" The man asked. After all the orders he had taken, she was shocked that he had remembered her's. Maybe he wasn't used to someone ordering so much for themselves. Olivia nodded and watched him place the batter and ingredients into the molds. It wasn't long before tapping from shoes behind her could be heard. No doubt another line had grown in the time that she was waiting for her food. She pretended not to worry about what was going on behind her or hear the mumbling.
"Ya know, if you wanted to eat so much gaijin, you should've waited until lunch was over for us workers." One man behind her said. Every time she heard that word from an old person, it reminded her of all the hatred that was still filled in the world since World War II. That they blamed them for events that had happened before she was able to even know about it. Hiroshima… Pearl Harbor… none of it had anything to do with her, why bring her into it?
The man put the takoyaki and fries that he made into Styrofoam containers and placed into a bag. He handed it to her with a small smile and a look of apology in his eyes.
"Have a good day, okay?" He told her.
"I have pay you." Olivia said and flipped through the bills that she had, trying to count all of them.
"It's okay, please take it."
"Can ya move so that we can eat too?" One of the patrons behind her said.
Finally, the takoyaki chef made a deal that she'd pay for the tea since he wouldn't take a yen more. Olivia smiled and nodded her thanks at him. All the while, she tried to ignore the hate filled comments that the others behind her were giving all the while.
"Young people don't have respect anymore, do they?"
"Why don't she just go back to her own country?" One older woman behind Olivia said. "Or at least learn ta speak Japanese before they come here."
"Hey!" Olivia jumped at the loud, booming voice behind her, almost dropping all the yen she had in her hand. Quickly, she put the rest of her money in her pockets. She was so exhausted already and she had just gotten up. All desire to eat had gone out the window. Of course, she wasn't going to tell the takoyaki chef that… he had given her the food after all.
"Thank you."
"You're very welcome Harper-san." The chef smiled.
Olivia practically darted from the cart, just wanting to be away from anyone. Anywhere. Just not there. As she was leaving, she could only catch some words.
"Ya know… pathetic… foreigner… tryin'… act special… Ain't shit."
More tears pricked the corner of her eyes. This was so ridiculous. Back in America, she didn't cry nearly this much. Actually, she was quite self sufficient and wanted to protect her family. She had a habit even back in America of holding in her emotions, but she could still deal with them. Here, she wasn't sure what to do. There was no way she could tell someone off like they needed to be in Japanese, and it wouldn't have the same effect in English. All she could do was take it like a doormat right now. Hopefully, she would be able to learn Japanese enough to tell off people that would insult her later. Then again… when she finally ended up going back home, she wasn't sure that she'd want to come back. All these years, she had such high hopes for Japan and the way things were here. Never in a million years would she think that she'd be discriminated against for just existing.
She sat down on the bench and finally exhaled all the air that she had been holding in. However, she didn't let the tears fall. The man in front of the barrel trying to get warm didn't need to see someone else's problems. He had enough of his own she was sure. Olivia looked up and saw that he was looking at her. Blinking, she locked eye contact and then looked down at the bag. Slowly she stood up and went over to where the man was at and opened her bag. She placed the Styrofoam container that contained the fries and a fork into his space.
"Here." She said. "Sour cream fries. Not full meal, but hope you like it."
"…?" The homeless man stared at her and then back down at the food. "Yer really gonna give me this?"
"Yes. Of course." Olivia assured. It seemed that rudeness to homeless people wasn't just centered in America. If he was worried about truly getting some food then someone must've promised him food and not followed through with it, mostly for sport or laughs… or just to be cruel. "Everyone needs to eat."
The man bowed low, clutching onto the container with all his might Olivia was worried that it might break. If it did though, she would just give him her takoyaki. After all, she had promised him some food.
"Thank you! Thank you so much!" He bowed repeatedly to the point where it made her a little uncomfortable. She was so used to being made fun of repeatedly, she didn't know what to say when someone other than Takahiro-san treated her like a person.
"It's okay… Enjoy." Olivia said and turned around, looking down at her feet as she headed back to her bench to enjoy her takoyaki and tea. Plopping down onto her bench, she felt like she could go back to sleep and rest for days. Opening the container, she smiled seeing the chef had put a few more takoyaki balls into the container almost to the point of it being fully stuffed. Hopefully he hadn't heard her stomach grumbling the whole time. She broke her chopsticks apart and took a sip of her tea before grabbing one of the octopus balls.
"Hey!" The takoyaki had just touched her lips when a booming voice came from behind her, making her jump again. She stumbled, attempting to catch all the balls and make sure that none were wasted. They were so painstakingly made, the thought of one going to waste was terrible. In addition, the homeless man might try to eat it off the ground, and that wasn't a good idea for anyone. People's animals may have peed there, shoes tread through there not sure what had been on the bottom of those shoes. Laughter moved from behind her to her right, and she went rigid. Her eyes focused on a tall figure with a bold taste in fashion, an undercut, and an eyepatch. Sure enough, despite her praying the tattoo that she thought she had seen was most in fact there.
Please if you're gonna kill me, please let me eat first. Kill me with a full stomach.
Her eyes widened when Snakeskin Jacket Man rounded the bench with a grace and elegance someone his size shouldn't be equipped with, plopping down on it right next to her with an exhale. She frowned and looked over at him from the corner of his eyes. He had a bag of his own, sitting right next to her. His elbows rested on the back of the bench, the loud jacket falling from his waist as he did so. The man sighed, adjusting himself on the bench more to where his legs took up most of the space.
Is this how it starts? Then he's gonna slit my throat…? Then the homeless man is next so there's no witnesses.
His head rolled to the side so he could look at her with his eye. She hadn't thought about it before, but she had been in his blind spot. Would he have heard her if she got up and left? Oh well… probably, his eye was gone not his ears.
"So," The man began, quirking an eyebrow.
Please don't kill me.
"Ya come here often?"
"H-Huh…?" Olivia blinked, unable to fully hide her surprise. That hadn't been even in the same realm of what she had been expecting him to say. Even if he didn't kill her right then, she never would've guessed that he was just making small talk. Letting her guard down was a terrible move. There was no reason to trust the Snakeskin Jacket Man. There was also no reason for him to be curious about her for means other than to get rid of her.
"Ya know, with yer legs. Walkin' here." The man continued. "Ta come here." The grin that was widening on his face was now from ear to ear. Oh, so that's what this was… To get her to talk to him in order to make fun of her speech. Right? That's what this was about.
"No…" Her mind continued to attempt to catch up with his accent and fast talking. From their previous meeting, he had talked a little slower, but not much.
"So ya like ta sit by the river and cry yer eyes out instead?"
"I did not cry my eyes out." She defended, looking back in his eye despite her shaking legs. This was absolutely terrifying. He was absolutely terrifying. Behind the smirk on his lips, there was no doubt that she was only living in his presence because he was allowing it. He didn't take his eye off her, nor did his smile fade as he spoke.
"Ya gonna let it get cold." He said.
"…? Huh?"
"Takoyaki."
Olivia's eyes widened and looked down at the Styrofoam container where her chopsticks remained. She cleared her throat and dipped her head before grabbing one ball again with her chopstick. Every so often she would glance at him. One's guard was quite low when they were eating and now she was doing so in front of someone she's met only twice.
"Calm yerself." The man said and Olivia heard another bag opening next to her. Out of the corner of her eyes, in his blind spot she saw him open a container containing takoyaki much like her own. "I ain't tryin' ta cause no trouble."
"I… not say… you is." She began and then shook her head. "No… that you are." She continued to repeat her corrected sentence in her head and exhaled with relief that it was said mostly right.
"Naw, but yer lookin' at me like I am."
"S-Sorry… I—"
"Yer not used ta people treatin' ya like a person, right?" Upon his words, she looked over at him. "Or is it 'cause I look scary?" His smile returned.
"… Neither." Olivia lied and took a sip of her tea. Internally she sighed again. Of course, the person that she really didn't want to deal with was the only person that wanted to talk to her. She knew what he was but pointing it out could get him angry and if he was angry, that could mean death for her. Or worse, torture. Then death. Someone with an eyepatch isn't to be trifled with. "Your food will get cold." She retorted, taking a bite out of the takoyaki ball. The man took a bite of his own takoyaki.
They were both silent. The only sound in the park was eating takoyaki and fries. She stopped half bite into a ball and her eyes widened. She had an idea on how to keep her apartment, if only for a little while. Considering that she was behind on rent, and if she was able to get it all to her that would give Olivia more time to be able to find a new place to live or save up money to go back home. There was no way that she'd be able to stay in Japan if she didn't find another job. The man next to her noticed her stop and followed suit.
"Ya know," He began and Olivia didn't feel like divulging all her secrets about her life. However, if she didn't, things could get bad for him. What did he really want from her? Why was he here? She looked over and saw that he had stopped because he had shoveled away all his food. She glanced at his abdomen in curiosity.
Where does he put it all?
"People are pieces o' shit."
"What?"
"I know ya got ears." The man smiled and got more comfortable on the bench. "I think it's pretty shitty that them people tried to get all in yer business and treat ya like yer fuckin' stupid or somethin'." When she didn't say anything, the man continued as if it was an invitation. "It may not be the best, but ya can speak two languages. And anyone can tell that yer tryin'."
"…Can they…?" She whispered to herself.
A large sigh and his gloved hands slapped his legs. He pressed himself up and stretched popping his back. This man was definitely a mystery. His actions contradicted his words so much that he was completely unreadable; a very good strength to have. Back in America, she used to be like that to everyone else but her family. Now though, everyone in America could read her like a children's book.
"Welp!" The man said and turned from around the bench and stopped at the entrance, taking a glance over his shoulder. "Catch ya later… Harper-chan."
"…!" Olivia sat up and looked over at the man, but he was already heading down one of the alleyways, that same strange—borderline maniacal—laughter echoing against the walls of the concrete jungle of Sotenbori.
Olivia stared at the alleyway the man had left into long after he had disappeared. Now she was at an even greater disadvantage. He knew her name, albeit her last name but still. She would be easy to find if he wanted to. Her last name and her first name stuck out like a sore thumb. Then again, among the ocean of Japanese people on the streets, just her in general was able to be seen from practically a mile away. All of this begged the question: how did he know her name? Had he been stalking her? Being… what he was, there was really no need to come after a small American girl who barely had some yen to her name. Wasn't that what those type of people wanted? What they thrived from? Money? She stood up, getting chill bumps on her arms at the terrifying prospect of him coming back. Of him just knowing more about her. The man that she had given the fries to bowed again to her as she left. She simply waved and smiled, feeling awkward with all the gratitude. As the man with the snakeskin jacket said before, she wasn't used to people treating her as a person. She was always a thing. The American.
The metal stairs clanked against her shoes with her quick ascension to her apartment. The determination that she hadn't felt since her last day in America had returned. Determination that she would get her apartment back. She would get to save her place. There would be no reason for her to be on the streets and even more satisfying that she wouldn't have to bother her family and burden them with the thought of her living on the streets or trying to get her to come back to America. Olivia flung open her door and went to the closet where all her belongings were at. All the ones that were from America. She opened her jewelry box and caught her lip between her teeth. She grabbed onto a necklace her mother had gotten for her years back. She gripped onto the jewelry so tight that her knuckles turned white. It would be okay. It had to be okay. No, it had to be fine. Great. Perfect. Anything other than that was completely unacceptable. Under any other circumstance, this would be something that she wouldn't do. Desperate times called for desperate measures, and Olivia was sure they would know that. They wouldn't judge her… right? Any doubts that would begin to arise, Olivia shook them away resolute in her decision. Just as quickly as she had entered her apartment, she closed the door and locked it behind her slamming down the stairs completely ignoring the rattling and the clanking and heading down the street.
She bolted down the street, trying her hardest to get to her destination before they closed. If the clock in her apartment was right, she had five minutes to get there. Sotenbori was always crowded and with each passing day it seemed like they were becoming more crowded. Would Sotenbori even be able to hold all the incoming people? She accidentally ran into a man after what looked like a high school girl deliberately ran into her. The man, tall and wearing a gray suit with a red button down turned to look at her. His brows were furrowed, and she felt her blood become ice in her veins. His intense brown eyes scanned her up and down. He also seemed like he'd be able to break her like a toothpick. She had been so stunned from ramming into him and somehow still able to keep her footing—most likely from him being a living wall to balance on.
"I-I'm so sorry!" Olivia apologized, bowing repeatedly. This was taking up precious time that she could be using to get to her destination, but she didn't want to be on this man's bad side. "I did not look where I going."
The man cleared his throat and turned to fully face her and backed up slightly. He looked away from her and frowned, or perhaps that was just his default face. Either way, he shook his head and Olivia was worried that he was going to say that he would have to teach her a lesson. However, the relatively scary man folded his arms,
"No, it's my fault. I should've been paying better attention to where I was going. No hard feelings." He waved awkwardly and turned around and headed back down the street heading to his destination.
Olivia stood there in shock for a moment. Four people in one day had treated her like a person. Hadn't treated her like a 'damn American'. When her mind put itself back upon the rails it had left, she remembered that she was doing something. She turned the corner and headed into a smaller street. It was practically bordering on an alleyway, but it had more foot traffic than one. She was panting by the time she reached the door. Just as she was about to grab the handle, the man inside turned it from Open to Closed. All strength in her knees left and she collapsed onto the dirty ground in front of her destination:
Ebisu Pawn Shop
The man inside did a double take when he saw Olivia collapse to the ground. He was on the older side, just starting to get gray hairs. He pressed his glasses upon his nose and opened the door. Tears had already started to blur her vision. Had she not run into that man and talked to him she would've made it with some time to spare. Fate was not on her side though, just like everything going on in her life right now.
"I'm sorry miss, but you'll have to come back again tomorrow."
Olivia looked at the man who, even through her blurry vision, could see he was rather shocked at the reaction she had to the pawn shop being closed. This was her last option, her only option. If he wouldn't open for her to do this, then she would definitely be gone. There wouldn't even be a little bit of hope.
"Please sir can you just do me a favor and open the store this one time? I need to sell this to you. My life here in Japan depends on it." She begged, pressing the palms of her hands together in a pleading manner. The pawn shop owner was quiet for a while and when she chanced a look up at him, his eyes were full of confusion. It took her a few moments to realize she had been so desperate to get her point across that she had chattered on in English. She cleared her throat and tried again, furrowing her brows. Hopefully the desperation would be able to be felt even through her Japanese. "Please Sir, I need you open store…" She begged, her voice cracking. "Just one time… this my only chance to stay in Japan. I need pawn this…" In this man's eyes, she most likely sounded and looked childish, but she desperately needed to get her point across.
"I'm sorry, but I've already closed up shop. It wouldn't be fair to my other customers if I opened up the shop for you after hours."
Olivia placed both her hands on the wet pavement below not even wanting to know if it was wet from rain that had passed or from something else. She lowered herself the most she could and placed her forehead against the pavement, closing her eyes and letting the tears flow.
"Please…" She begged picking up and placing her forehead back onto the pavement almost on the verge of slamming it. "Please…" Olivia repeatedly begged with what felt like forever. If it meant that she would be able to do what she needed to do, she would embarrass herself like this for hours. Hours it did not take though, the man seemed to be uncomfortable enough as he just sighed and agreed.
"Only this one time." The man said and let her come in.
Ebisu Pawn Shop was a very beautiful place. Everything was wonderfully organized, and the interior was exceptionally clean. In her now dirty state, she didn't belong here. Even in her cleanest state, this place was too posh for her to fit in with the other patrons that regularly shopped here. The owner walked behind the counter and adjusted his glasses again. Without a word, Olivia reached over the necklace to him. He grabbed his magnifying glass and examined every bit he could of the necklace; the chain, the pendant, the condition, the material, and the jewel in the middle. She fidgeted every time he made a hmm sound. Was that good or bad? Finally, the owner sat down the pendant on the glass counter between them.
"I can offer you 150,000 yen."
That's a large chunk, but… not enough.
"Really?" Olivia asked, her face falling.
"Yes. That's all I'm able to offer."
"I'll take it!"
After holding the money in her hands and silently promising the necklace that she would come back for it, she thanked the man before leaving Ebisu. The amount she got was an amazing chunk of change. It was more than her mother paid for it, she knew that for certain. The only trouble was that in addition to the rent she was behind, she was also behind in utilities. Takahiro-san hadn't brought that up, but Olivia knew it was there. It was on her behalf though, she didn't want Olivia to worry, but that didn't stop her. Considering everything that happened and what was owed, if she hadn't gone and gotten that takoyaki, she probably would've just made both payments—if her calculations were correct. Math, however, was never her strong suit, so she couldn't test the theory. The necklace was the most expensive item she owned. Everything other belonging would've made 500 yen at best or been unable to be pawned at all. Sluggish and utterly defeated, the determination once held fell like water through fingers.
I tried… I tried so hard Mom.
The steps creaked almost mocking her when she made her way back to the apartment. She would have to gather her belongings before she took the money to Takahiro-san. This wasn't enough for everything and she knew it. If Olivia prolonged getting the money to her, Takahiro-san would just come up to collect. That was her job and Olivia didn't hold it against her, even if the whole thing just sucked. Slowly, lead hanging off each of her movements, she gathered them up and hauled everything into whatever container she could find. Some was a box, another a duffel bag, others she would just have to carry to… She didn't know where. This apartment complex was the only place that she had. Olivia hadn't made any friends, and even if she did, she didn't exactly have enough money for a pay phone after giving all of it to Takahiro-san. Looking at the small pile that was all her belongings, she realized just how pathetic her life in Japan has been. She had no friends here, no family, she pretty much just lost her home, and a man with an eyepatch knew her name and she had no idea whether he was friend or foe. Although considering his… occupation, she could clearly deduce which he would be.
Olivia gathered all her belongings making sure to give the apartment a once over to make sure she had grabbed everything before she locked the door behind her. The imbalanced weight from the boxes and duffel bags along with the blanket just shrugged onto her body staggered her all the way to the first floor. She knocked sadly and when Takahiro-san answered the door, the smile on her face quickly turned to a saddened one. All through the day she had been convinced that Olivia was going to push through. Against all odds, she had come through the whole time she had been at the apartment. Now with all her belongings in hand, she had been unable to collect the necessary money. The money felt very heavy in Olivia's hands when she handed it to Takahiro-san. The older woman held onto it.
"You already done much for me. But can I have one more favor?"
"What is it, Harper-chan?"
"… I no want to worry Mom. Can I have mail still sent here?" Olivia asked. "I can come get."
"Yes. I will keep it in my apartment for you. You're very kind to think of your mother, even now." Takahiro-san smiled reaching out and touching her shoulder. "I wish I had a daughter like you." Sifting through the money, she pulled out 5,000 yen and handed it to her. "I wish I could do more for you."
"You done so much for me." Olivia said and clenched the 5,000 yen in her hand. With a small smile to Takahiro-san, she headed down onto the street. Literally kicked to the curb, she was unable to think of any other place to go. Thankfully, the light of day had calmed so there were less people on this side of town. If a mugger didn't kill her, the embarrassment of roaming around with all her belongings might. Silently, she wandered to the only place she could think of where she'd had a moment's peace.
The park was different tonight. The man at the barrel wasn't around. She had nothing to light the tinder in the barrel either. With a light plop, she laid on the bench, curling up tighter and wrapping the blanket to conform her body trying to keep herself warm. She buried her face into the jacket she had placed for her pillow and exhaled, trying not to cry for what felt like the 800th time in the past two days. If she fell asleep, she'd be lucky to wake up and still have all her belongings, or even wake up at all. Even with that thought probing at her mind, her body wanted her to sleep begged her to do so. Trying to alleviate some of her brain's pressure, she closed her eyes and shifted the belongings under the bench.
In the demi space between conscious and unconscious, she almost didn't hear the conversation between the two men just outside of the park. Even so, her brain tried to write it off as if it were just a figment of her imagination; like a dream. It was too detailed to be a dream though, but she stayed through it.
"Ya know, we work real hard and some people just get to live without no bills or anythin' like that."
"You do realize those people are homeless, right?" The man stated, the harsh edge in his voice. "That little alley by the river is all they have."
"Again, they ain't gotta pay no bills or anythin'." Was this man serious?
"I think they'd rather pay bills than deal with being out in the elements all the time, especially during winter."
"I still think they should be rounded up and put in jail." The one said. "At least that way they won't be botherin' no one."
"Did you call me out here to just complain about homeless people, or are we going to get dinner?"
"Eh, yer right. Let's go get some grub."
The clanking of heels and tennis shoes alike lulled Olivia from her demi state towards unconsciousness. Talking and the jingling of bike bells only added the fuel to the fire of sleep. While unconscious, she was just barely. Every time a sound got too close, her eyes would shoot open and she'd be on full alert. When she was awoken for the sixth time, she decided she may as well get up. The restless sleep gave her just enough energy for another trek. She was still unsure whether the talk in her head was a dream or not, but it was worth a shot. Going back to the Sotenbori river was not something that she hated doing, but because of the current circumstances it seems like every time she went to the river it was because of something terrible; getting fired, becoming homeless. What else could happen next? Actually, scratch that. Olivia didn't want to find out. From the park, it was hard to tell if the nearby alley was the one that had been discussed—if that talk wasn't a dream—but there was no harm in trying. The strap of the duffel bag was chafing her shoulder and she couldn't wait to set it all down.
A barrel lit for heat near the Sotenbori river was the only indication that the alley was occupied by anyone until closer inspection. Inside, just as the man had said contained homeless men of varying sizes, shapes, colors, and degrees of homelessness. Some looked like they had been this way for years while others looked like they had just become such, like her. It wasn't exactly packed like she had expected it to be. Just when she was about to turn around and find someplace else, she heard a voice,
"Hey there, pretty lady. What can I do for ya?" One homeless man said, staggering. He smelled worse than a brewery. Completely trashed. The overwhelming scent of alcohol made her cough and cover her nose. "What can I do for an exotic pretty lady like yerself?"
"I…" Olivia wasn't sure the man would be able to understand her broken Japanese in his current state. "I come here because I no have a home."
"Wel-hell!" The man exclaimed, leaning against one of the walls, almost missing. If this was an attempt to impress her, if there was a grade worse than F, he would've gotten it. "I got ya covered pretty lady." He snickered and tried to get closer, making Olivia back off a little bit. "In more ways than one if ya'd like."
"Ota!" Another man's voice yelled from further into the alleyway. Stepping around people and few belongings, a familiar face presented itself behind the drunk man. "This is the kinda shit that made yer wife leave ya."
Oh shit…
Ota clicked his tongue and looked at Olivia before retreating into the alleyway, staggering and knocking against the walls like pinball. Hopefully he'd fall into the gutter like in pinball too. The other man turned to look at Olivia fully and she was able to figure out why he looked so familiar. He was the same man that she had given the fries to. Even if she barely knew him, it was nice to see an old face among all the new ones. Especially during this new time in her life.
"I'd like to apologize on Ota's behalf… He's not usually like this, but it does get bad some days and he can't help 'imself." He sighed and looked at all her belongings and stepped aside to let her inside the small alleyway. "My name is Sato. Haru Sato."
"Olivia Harper." She took the hand he offered and shook it. For a Japanese man to instantly want to shake someone's hand was rare. Either he wasn't completely from Japan or he's had experience from other cultures like her. "I'm sorry for all trouble."
"It's no trouble Harper-chan." Sato said and smiled softly. "It's the least that I can do for giving me some food. Most people would just look the other way when they see us 'cause they just don't care, ya know?"
"Yes. I do." Olivia was well aware of how cruel some people can be; Japanese or American. She took another deep sigh and looked around. "Where do I stay?"
"Come on, I'll guide you." Sato said and led her towards the back of the alleyway, but still near the middle where it was vacant. "Others have recently moved to the other side of the river. That left us with some room." He took a seat next to Olivia and rested his elbows on his knees. "What happened?"
Olivia leaned her head against the cool concrete of the wall behind her. Her blue eyes closed. This whole thing was stressful and happened so fast. She explained the best she could with her broken Japanese. It most likely didn't have the same effect as either actually experiencing it or being unable to fully explain everything.
"I sold my necklace to shop. Now I not sure how I get back." She admitted. "I am not Native and have no home. Not sure what to do now. Because my Japanese, no one wants to hire me for job."
Sato nodded and rubbed the back of his neck listening to her story. She looked so lost and helpless. Olivia smiled, trying to assure him that despite her words, she was and would be alright.
"If ya don't mind me askin', that guy that you were with in the park. The one ya ate takoyaki with," He began making Olivia's attention turn full force to him listening intently to be able to understand him and answer effectively. "Why didn't ya go and find him, ya know? You two seem pretty close."
"I met him twice." Olivia explained, her brows furrowing. Did people really think that just by looking at them? That someone in his line of work would date at all, let alone a foreigner. Shocking and amusing all at the same time. "I do not know his name. We not be friends. Ah wait… No… We are not friends." Olivia corrected herself, wondering about the eyepatch man. His name, how he got the eyepatch, and why he knew her name. While he was a rather intriguing individual, she would be glad if she never saw him again.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop." Sato said with an embarrassed laugh. "Ya two seemed to get along really well, so I assumed…"
"No, but, do you know where to get work? I need buy back necklace."
"I can't really think of anywhere. Some of us get odd jobs here and there. Others just kinda find cash in… various places." Sato explained, looking around at some people that were either asleep or that were playing games they had found. "Some of us… we'll find things and pawn them off. It's really rare though."
"Hmm…" Olivia bit at her lip, wondering what she could do in order to gain enough money back to where she'd be able to get that necklace back. Getting 150,000 won? Not exactly an easy feat. "I try hard tomorrow. Best I can do."
"I know this isn't exactly something you'd be proud of learning, but ya got some people here that can help."
"Thank you." Olivia said.
"You can get a full rest here. No one will bother you in here and no one outside bothers us in here." Sato explained.
Olivia trying her hardest not to let the tears flow that have been gathering since the hole of selling her necklace really settled in. Even though she would've never left a debt to Takahiro-san, it still felt like she sold it for nothing. She curled up into her blankets and made her jacket-pillow again before letting the crackling of the tinder in the barrel along with the other residents of the alleyway's conversations and gameplay lure her back into an unconscious state, pushing any unpleasant thoughts from her mind. There would be no getting rid of them until they were fully addressed and dealt with—something she may need a therapist for after this—no truly moving on with her life, yet that could be pushed for another time. A time where the mere thought didn't make her vision blur with tears.