Damn Those Puppy Dog Eyes
Summary: Buffy analyzes the reasons she's in love with Spike
Date: any time from Season 5 'Crush' till season 6 'Smashed'
Enjoy!

It was 3 in the morning, MTV was playing non-stop music videos and Buffy just wanted her mind to wander, she didn't want to think, she didn't want to feel, she just wanted to fall asleep. Sleep seemed like her only escape these days, and even that was starting to fade. Once you asleep, the troubles of the world don't bother you, you are free. She wanted to be free, she wanted desperately to be free. Free of him. He plagued her thoughts, he infiltrated her mind, and she just wanted it to stop. But why? What do I want these feelings to stop, why can't a Vampire and a Slayer love each other? It had worked with Angel, why not Spike?

"Yeah, Why not?" she asked the air around her "Why can't I love him?

But she knew deep down that it could never work. He was a soulless vampire who's main purpose in life was to kill her and she was a heartless bitch who's main destiny in life was to kill him. It could never work. He was bad. He was the center of evil. That duster and that hair were . . so sexy. No. They weren't sexy. They were bad. I am good. Spike is bad. I am good. Spike is bad. She kept on repeating this to herself over and over again and again, in her head. She brought her knees up to her chest and watched Kylie Minouge wither on screen for a few minutes, rocking herself bad and forth, muttering under her breath.

"I am Good. Spike is Bad. I am Good. Spike is Bad."

God. This was torture. She needed to look into it. Get deep down into to each reason of why she was deeply in love with him and break it down and fix every reason. She would fix Buffy.

"Why do I love him?" she was now curled up in a little ball at the end of the couch wrapped in a blanket "Why do I love him?"

Emotions first, then looks. Okay. First reason: he's bad. She needed evil, she needed the bad. Like he said "death is your art", she needed the evilness to keep her alive. This was fine. She could find a nice normal guy who was evil, someone who wasn't a vamp or commando. Like a criminal or something. First issue solved.

Issue number two: "He loves me." And he did. there was no one, alive or dead who has loved her like he does. No one will ever love another as much as he loved her, that was a fact and she knew it. Why did he love her? That is impossible to say, one would have to get into the inner workings of a vampires mind, something no human can do. "Do I love him?" Yes. she knew it with every fiber of her being that, Yes, she did love him. That difficult to break down. he would have to stop loving her. But how? She would have to do something so amazingly evil that he could never love her. She could kill Dru, she could beat him up and torture him, she could kill him. No, he wouldn't mind about Dru, he would love her all the more for torturing him and she would be torturing herself if she killed him. Ah well, she would come back to that one.

Now the physical features. The back muscles. Ah yes, those rippling back muscles. She had once been lucky enough to glimpse him with his shirt off and it took all of her Slayer strength to keep her from falling down in a dead faint. The way the muscles rippled underneath his cold skin, the way he stretched. The arms. The arms were sexy. how is it possible to think ones arms are sexy? she had no clue but she was positive that she could search the world over but she would never find a guy with sexier arms than Spike. They weren't too beefed up, but still quite strong. There were no words to describe his arms.

On to the face. His hair. His peroxide hair that was so bad . . . and sexy. She longed to run her fingers through his hair, Longed to feel it, to touch it. She wanted it.

Buffy was now sitting with her legs crossed, in the center of the couch. Her hands were down, one each knee. She was trying to focus her anger to something else. It wasn't working. She got up and went to the fridge. Maybe they had something to eat that she would want. She looked in and realized what she wanted. She wanted Spike taste. She cursed Ben and Jerry for never making a 'Spike Flavor' 'cause that was what she really wanted now. His taste. Sort of like peppermint with an under flavor of something unidentifiable.

Now on 'Buffy's Bane'. His eyes. Big, longing puppy dog eyes. Eyes that made the iciest woman melt. Eyes that when angry could make the bravest man on earth tremble with fear. Someone once told her that eyes are the key to "knock, knock". There was someone at the door, only one person would ever be coming to her house at this time of night.

She walked over, unlocked the door and opened it. There, standing there looking straight at her was Spike, looking the most handsome she had ever seen him. She stared. "Don't look at his eyes. Don't look at his eyes." she thought. She looked at his eyes and melted, quite literally. She collapsed and he caught her.

"I saw a light on so I thought I might come in and say hi." Looked at the slayer in his arms, it didn't feel as though she could stand on her own, readjusted his grip on her, "looks as though I've come at a bad time, though. You okay luv? Should I leave?" He looked concerned. He cared. He loved her. He loved her and he was a Sex God.

"No" she said wrapping her arms around his neck. She straighten her self and looked into those eyes. Faltered. Regained balance and looked again. "Stay" He had a sheepish grim on his face.

"You sure luv? you don't look to well."

"Stay. Please stay"

"Why, pet? You hate me 'member. I'm not in the mood to be taunted tonight so you better go get some sleep"

"No going to taunt you." She looked at him. He didn't believe her. Why should he? "I love you" she whispered in his ear. "I love you" He looked at her. grabed her head in between both of his hand and looked her in the eye. She tripped again.

"Damn your puppy dog eyes" she muttered. He looked at her and smiled, bent down and kissed her.

The End

AN: Okay, This is what happens when you leave me to my own devices at three in the morning. Please review. I am morally opposed to Spuffy, so I wrote one and I enjoyed myself. tehe