Emma tensed a little with each kiss on the cheek, each hug, each squeeze of the hand. But Carl's family were just so friendly and so very happy to meet her. And to include her in their boisterous, jubilant family gathering this Christmas Eve. She'd already met his parents of course. They'd had dinner with them the very night of their return from Vegas to share their wedding news. This was the first time, however, that Emma had met the whole family - siblings, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles and grandparents. The 'whole clan' as Carl called them. Her head was almost spinning from the number of introductions and the whirl of people around her.

"And this here is my baby bro," said Carl, grabbing a younger looking version of himself and grinning as he playfully maneuvered him into a headlock.

Emma laughed, a little unnerved by all the commotion. Children and dogs were weaving their way between adult legs and pieces of furniture seemingly unaware of the potential dangers Emma couldn't help but notice. In her mind several drinks had been spilled on the carpet and not one but two ornaments had been broken although somehow in reality these events had narrowly been avoided. Nevertheless it made her a little uneasy and her smile felt a little forced as Carl's brother kissed her warmly on both cheeks.

"You can call me Chris," he said with the same natural charm and broad smile that Carl possessed. "And I'm so pleased to meet my new sis."

Emma wondered at their shared ease and social confidence. In fact Carl's parents and sister had the same outgoing, self-assured nature which Emma admired so much. And yet, as much as she appreciated it, their very friendliness left her feeling strangely more of an outsider.

Carl's sister Clarissa appeared by his side, her toddler balanced on one hip.

"We're just so delighted to finally get to meet you, Emma," she said. "Carl has talked about you so much and then when we heard you got married, well, we couldn't have been happier."

She reached out to give Emma's arm a squeeze as she said this and Emma took a deep breath trying to control her instinctive need to escape this touch. She glanced at Carl and recognised the look of pride in his eyes at her attempts to resist her mysophobia.

"And this ring," Clarissa continued, as she leaned over to grasp Emma's left hand. "It's so gorgeous. Well, my brother here certainly has good taste!"

Emma nodded but her attention was actually on the small child who was now grabbing a handful of her hair.

"Oh I think she likes your red hair," said Clarissa laughing. "Well actually she just loves playing with hair. And shiny things. I wouldn't be surprised if she goes for your brooch next."

Emma glanced down protectively at the gold angel pinned to her dress but Carl was busy distracting the little girl, tickling her and teasing.

It was at this point they were joined by an older woman who'd been introduced to Emma as Carl's aunt Lydia.

"You'll be wanting some of your own soon I'm sure," she said cheerfully, looking expectantly at Emma and then Carl. "Your mother," she continued looking at Carl sternly, "has been waiting long enough for you to give her some grandbabies. Don't make her wait any longer."

Emma gulped. Her throat had suddenly gone very dry and she didn't feel she could breathe. In fact she felt quite dizzy as she looked around for a potential escape route. She knew these sort of things were said in families but it took her by surprise. It wasn't as though she and Carl had that sort of marriage. At least not yet.

Carl looked across at her sympathetically. He knew the conversation would be making her uncomfortable.

"We're in no hurry," he said casually.

"She'll just have to wait a little longer and in the meantime she has these monsters to keep her busy," he said laughing and indicating the children running around them.

"Well, I guess that puts an end to the speculation that there would be a new addition to the Howell tribe sooner rather than later," said Carl's sister teasingly.

Emma felt herself go paler at the shock of the implication. And then the color suffuse her cheeks as she realised that the people in this room had thought that she and Carl ... that they had gone to Vegas to get married ... had had to get married because ... no she couldn't finish that thought. It was just too embarrassing knowing that Carl's family had been speculating ... had actually imagined that she and Carl ... well that they had done that and that they would soon be having one of these ... no it was all too much.

Emma started to move towards the door. It felt too far away. In fact there didn't seem to be any oxygen left in the room. Probably because it was so full of people. They appeared to have multiplied, making the space between her and the door all but impassable. Just as she felt the panic rising, Emma felt a hand at the small of her back. Carl's hand. She knew his touch and it calmed her instantly. As he guided her gently but firmly through the crowd of bodies, she knew that he understood without her having to say a word. She knew that he was always there looking out for her, sometimes challenging her, but always looking out for her. And that made her feel safe.

Still as he opened the door and brought them out on to the veranda, she was relieved to take in a deep breath of fresh air. He put his arms round her and held his cheek to hers.

"I know that made you uncomfortable, Ems. But you mustn't worry. They're just kidding, you know."

And drawing back a little to look her in the eye, he said "They just don't know how special our relationship, how special our marriage is."

"We're taking things at the right pace for us. And you've made amazing progress. I know how hard you've worked, Ems, and I'm so proud of you."

She nodded. She knew he was.

"And I know we're going to get there. With everything." He looked her meaningfully in the eye.

She gave him a small smile, trying not to let the uncertainty she felt show on her face. Sometimes she wondered if she ever really would be ready. And the idea that there were people waiting and expecting only made it harder.

She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. She wanted this marriage to work. She needed this marriage to work. As much as she found it difficult to imagine her and Carl having a family and raising their children, she hated the idea of spending her life all alone even more. She just wished every part of the process didn't terrify her the way it did. That the very thought of embarking on that journey didn't leave her shaking with fear.

Carl felt the tremor in her body, heard the catch in her breath. He moved his hands slowly up and down her back the way that he had learnt to do when she was stressed. Her body relaxed under his touch and he whispered firmly in her ear "We will get there, Ems, we will. And it doesn't matter how long it takes, okay?"

She nodded and breathed in deeply, taking in the clean, slightly minty scent of him. A smell that had come to reassure her so well.

"I'm ready to go back in," she said.

"Sure?" he asked. "I know they're a little overwhelming."

"I'm sure," she nodded. "And they're really just very friendly. And a lot like you. I just hope I didn't embarrass myself too badly," she said, the color beginning to rise in her cheeks again.

"They'll all just assume you needed some time alone with your new hubby," Carl said chuckling and putting his arm around her waist.

"Well I do think you're pretty dreamy," said Emma, laughing too and giving him a kiss on the cheek. "But I do think, Mr Howell, that we should go back in and rejoin our family."

He smiled back at her. "Well, it is Christmas after all."