This is basically just a number of drabbles I did. They are unrelated for the most part and are not connected beyond this weird...AU of an AU.

Warning: There is an implied wet dream at the end. That's as NSFW as this gets.

Enjoy!

~~0~~0~~0~~

"If you bite me again, yer not gettin' any food tonight."

"Noooo you can't do that!"

"I can and I will! Quit tryin' ta bite me!"

Dipper sent a pout towards Gideon, sinking deeper into the bathtub the pirate was keeping him in so only his ornery eyes peered over the sloshing water. Despite being fragmented underneath the waves, Gideon could still see Dipper's puffed cheeks. His fins twitched in irritation.

Stage one: Pouting. Gideon thought to himself. He took a step back.

Stage two: Whining. In three, two…

"Gideeeeeon," Dipper drawled out, lifting himself out of the water some. "You're being so mean and unfair! I can't feed myself! You have to do it!"

"I didn't say I wasn't going ta feed you, I said if you try 'n bite me again, I won't!" Gideon corrected with a huff, crossing his arms and leaning away from the siren as Dipper slapped his tail against the water, causing it to splash over the sides of the tube.

Stage three: Denial. In three, two…

"It wasn't even a bite! It was a nibble!"

Stage Four: Flirting. In three, two…

"A love nibble!" Dipper declared, sitting up out of the water fully. He braced his hands on the edge of the tube and leaned out as far as he could. His tail slapped against the water methodically. "I would never actually and truly bite you! It was a symbol of my love for you."

Gideon cocked a disbelieving eyebrow at that, and though he knew Dipper's game, found his heart already aching for the siren and his big, copper eyes. "Really?" He found himself whispering. He dropped his hands back to his side and stepped forwards again, getting back in range of Dipper's arms and sloshing water. "You love me? You mean it?"

Dipper grinned- each and every sharp fang he had shining brightly. "I do! I'd never hurt you Gideon. I'm just very hungry."

Gideon sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

Stage five: He gives up. Zero.

"Alright, alright," Gideon chuckled. He turned and strode over to where he kept the bucket of fish and...other nasty things, to feed Dipper. Pulling his gloves back on (just the thought of getting nasty fish guts on his hands was enough to make him shudder), he reached into the bucket and pulled out a big, fat fish. Gideon avoided its dead stare and instead padded back over to Dipper.

"Careful 'o my fingers, now," Gideon warned and carefully, held the fish over Dipper.

Dipper licked his lips with his long, forked tongue before jumping out of the water. His fangs flashed and Gideon nearly cried out when the siren's lips brushed against his fingers as the fish was plucked from his grip. Dipper slurped it down hungrily, purring softly as he gnashed it into bits. Sinking back down into the water, Dipper burped in satisfaction.

"I don't know where you find my meals, but they are great. Not as good as human flesh, mind you-" Dipper flashed a sharp, bloody grin at a very disgusted and disturbed Gideon, "-but still! Not to bad!"

Gideon sighed and shook his head before sitting next to the tub. With a shaking hand, he moved to pet Dipper's hair. "Well then, I'm glad you liked it."

Dipper purred louder and nuzzled Gideon's hand. Peeling the glove off, he gave it a wet lick.

"Gross! You just ate!" Gideon gasped, wiping his hand off on his jacket. He scooted away from the laughing siren.

Gideon shook his head and stood back up, giving Dipper a long look. "You love me, right?" He couldn't help but ask.

Dipper's smile was unreadable, but his copper eyes shone. "Yes Gideon. I love you. You and only you."

~~0~~0~~0~~

Gideon hunched his shoulders up, gripping his pen tightly.

"Gideeeeon," Dipper drawled out behind him. The siren's voice was as light as a feather and as devious as the morning waves. Gideon could practically hear his grin. "I'm booooored."

Gideon smirked to himself, biting his tongue. His heart was beating so fast. "Hello, bored. I'm Gideon."

Dipper made a disgusted noise and his tail slapped against the water in his tub hard. Water sloshed onto the ground. "Gideon! You know that's not what I meant! Entertain me!"

Gideon bit his bottom lip. Dipper's voice was lithe, a gentle breeze over the ocean on a warm, summer day. It was stroking his mind and his heart with cool, soothing fingers. A bead of sweat traced down Gideon's cheek. He gripping the edge of his desk with his precipitating palm to stop himself from turning around.

If he turned around...gods only knew what would happen.

"I'm working, I don't have time to play," Gideon responded through clenched teeth.

Dipper slapped his tail down on the water in his tub again. "Now that's a lie and we both know it. You always have time for me. I'm yours, aren't I? Come and play with me, Gideon," Dipper practically sang.

With a deep groan resounding in his chest, Gideon pushed himself away from his desk and spun his chair around, standing up and striding towards Dipper, who was smiling at him cheekily. Dipper motioned him to come closer with one clawed finger.

"What exactly do you want to play?" Gideon found himself whispering. His cheeks were flushed a bright crimson and he twiddled his thumbs together. His stomach was churning and all he could hear beyond Dipper's heavenly voice was his own pounding heart.

"Oh, I have something fun in mind," Dipper drawled. He picked himself out of the water, leaning on the edge of the tub. His brows were set low over his dark brown eyes.

Gideon gulped and lowered himself to the floor in front of the siren. He pressed his palms flat against the floorboards and leaned forwards. His and Dipper's nose were practically touching.

"You'll love this game, Gideon," Dipper whispered. His breath was hot. "I think it may even become one of your favorites with me."

Gideon nodded dumbly.

Dipper leaned his chest out over the tub, his hands falling heavily on Gideon's shoulders. Gideon didn't even notice the water seeping into his jacket, nor how hard Dipper dug his claws into him as he pulled the captain closer. Dipper's lips were pale, but his cheeks were blushed a light blue.

"Wait," Gideon murmured against Dipper's lips. "You love me, right? This is real?"

"Of course it's real," Dipper purred and before Gideon could say anything else, pressed his lips against the captain's.

Gideon gasped softly into the kiss. The rancid taste of fish that was in Dipper's mouth melted away with the searing heat that was suddenly racing through his veins. Dipper smirked against Gideon's lips and deepened the kiss, slipping his forked tongue into Gideon's mouth, pressing it flat against Gideon's tongue.

Gideon raised his arms carefully, wrapping his hands around Dipper's forearms and scooted closer. His legs spread out around the tub and his chest pressed flat against the side. Dipper's hands trailed up Gideon's thick neck to cup his chubby cheeks.

Gideon moaned into the kiss. Dipper hadn't moved his tongue at all, keeping it pressed down against Gideon's. Gideon found himself trapped by the siren, between his own rapid heart and the dizzying kiss that Dipper was gifting him.

Copper eyes flashed in his vision and Gideon found himself falling limp as Dipper pulled away, a satisfied smirk on his lips. He raised his hand and wiped saliva off his chin.

"W-wow…" Gideon said under his breath. He fell back against the floor.

Dipper snickered at the captain, flipping his tail back and forth as he leaned his cheek on the edge of the tub, staring down at the flushed man beneath him.

"I guessed you liked my game?" Dipper purred. His eyes shone deviously. "At least, that's what your little friend is telling me~" Dipper sung, pointing down at the slight tent in Gideon's trousers.

Gideon yelped and quickly scooted away from the now laughing siren. His flush spread to his neck and the tips of his ears and he quickly scrambled up, pressing his knees together tightly and covering himself with his hands. "Dipper!" He snapped, mortified.

Dipper fell back into the water with another loud laugh. "Get back to work, my captain~"

Gideon groaned and rubbed his face, backing up and collapsing in his chair. "You're the worst."

"I know."

~~0~~0~~0~~

Dipper's lips were hot against Gideon's as the siren proceeded kiss him hard.

Gideon moaned into the kiss, wrapping his bare arms around Dipper's thinner frame and pulling the siren close. He could feel Dipper's tail swish against his ankles and his feet, wrapping around him gently as if to hold him in place.

The two parted from their kiss and bubbles popped to life between them. Gideon stared up at Dipper, who was hiding his face in his shoulder, his cheeks a bright blue. His eyes- heavy-lidded and hungry- stared back into his and his lips turned upwards into a teasing pout.

"Now, now Gideon~" Dipper sung. "Good things come to those who wait."

Gideon frowned and when he moved to kiss Dipper again, Dipper pushed him away with his tail. He curled up on himself in the water, batting his huge eyes at him. He hid his hands behind him and let the water pull him away from Gideon.

"I don't want to wait," Gideon found himself saying. The irony of the situation was practically crushing him. "I want you now. I love you, you are so pretty and wonderful and perfect and I want you." Gideon pulled himself through the water, kicking out with his feet and closing the distance between him and Dipper. He cupped Dipper's face. "Dipper," He murmured.

Dipper turned his face away, giggling and blushing. "You want me? You really do?" Dipper's tail crept around Gideon's feet again. "You want to make love to me?"

Gideon nodded. "I do." He pressed himself against Dipper and groaned. "I do. Don't you?"

Dipper peered up at him. "I- I do," He said. The siren bit his lip and shivered in Gideon's arms. "But...but…"

"But what? Are you- are you nervous?"

Dipper peeked up at Gideon through his halo of chestnut curls and nodded slowly.

Gideon pressed a small, chaste kiss against the side of Dipper's lips.

Dipper turned his head and kissed back at Gideon, his legs tangling with Gideon's. Gideon trailed kisses down Dipper's neck, pulling at the toga he was wearing while large, feathery wings moved to hold Gideon close. Gideon peered back up at Dipper's shy and flushed face.

"I'll be gentle. Don't you worry your pretty lil' head at all," He reassured. He tugged Dipper's toga off completely.

Dipper squeaked softly and nodded, the fins on his face bobbing in the water. He moved to wrap his legs around Gideon's waist, grinding against Gideon accidentally. The two moaned together and kissed one another again.

"Are you ready?" Gideon whispered against Dipper's lips.

Dipper nodded, his golden eyes shining in the dark. They reflected the sunrise behind Gideon and he slowly pressed into Dipper…

"Gideon!"

Gideon screamed, jerking up as frigid water suddenly splashed against him, drenching him completely. He shook his head and wiped water out of his face, groaning. He tried to collapse back onto his pillows, but feeling how wet they were, remained sitting up.

Gideon turned and leveled a glare at Dipper. The siren looked tired and his face was scrunched up in annoyance.

"Did you just splash me?!" Gideon snapped.

Dipper sneered back. "You woke me up! You kept making all these weird noises and I think you said my name? I don't know you were making a racket and I need my beauty sleep!"

Gideon winced and pressed his knees together. "Sorry…" He trailed off.

Dipper snorted and glanced down at Gideon's lap. He cocked a brow. "Next time you have a- a wet dream, I'm going to throw something at you."

Gideon flushed.

~~0~~0~~0~~

Bill smirked as he strode into the captain's cabin. Dipper was lazing in his tub and Gideon was nowhere to be found.

Perfect.

"Hey, cutie~" Bill sung, trailing into the cabin. As soon as Dipper heard his voice, he jerked up, eyes wide, and swam back into the wall of the tub furthest away from Bill.

"...Bill," Dipper said. His heart was racing, and not in the way Gideon made it.

~~0~~0~~0~~

Bill's grin was disturbingly wide. "Gideon's gone off?"

"Something like that…"

Bill chuckled. "Guess we're alone for now. How are you doing, Pine Tree?"

Dipper's lip curled at the unwelcome nickname and he nervously bat his tail against the water. Bill's eyes were unblinking as they stared at him.

"A lot worse now that you're here," Dipper deadpanned.

If Bill was perturbed by Dipper's rudeness, he didn't show it. His grin never faltered. "Well I am doing so much better now that I've seen you. I don't see you enough, after all! We should really get together more, don't you say?"

"No, I don't say."

Bill shook his head, looking at Dipper as if he were some petulant child. "Even when you are saying the silliest things, you've voice is absolutely beautiful."

Dipper smirked. "Oh I know. My voice is gorgeous."

Bill frowned. "Well, I wouldn't say that…"

"But you just did."

Bill scowled softly. However, before he could respond, Gideon's voice resounded behind him. "Cipher! What are you doing?"

Bill's eyes widened and he turned on his heel. "Captain! I- I was, uh…"

"Get back to work!"

Bill hissed through his nostrils and tossed his blond hair back. "Yes sir!" He barked. With one last glance at Dipper, he left.

Gideon frowned as he watched his first mate march off. Before he could say anything, a heavy and wet weight hit his back. Claws dug into his sides, but didn't cut him.

"Gideon!" Dipper shouted in elation, a purr rumbling in his chest. His copper eyes were bright as they stared up at Gideon.

Gideon grunted, but smiled. He scooped Dipper up and stumbled back over to the tub to drop the siren back into it. "Someone's happy to see me! Did you miss me or something?"

Dipper chuckled and splashed around in his tub, throwing his arms around Gideon again before the captain could pull away again.

"Or something," Dipper hummed.

~~0~~0~~0~~

Thank you for reading I hope you liked it!