Life in Germany wasn't all that great for Ed, Al, and Noah for a while, seeing as they had no sources of income (it had just donned on Ed that he'd been relying on Alfonse to keep the two of them afloat after he'd mouthed off to his last boss one too many times and lost his job) and definitely no dwelling. However, it was an off-handed comment that was really more of a joke made by Alphonse that had gotten Ed on his current career path as a decently respected chemist. Soon, they had enough money to get a house for the three of them, and even food to eat, so long as nobody differed from the established portion sizes of the new Elric home. Al had started studying to become a doctor, and nobody really expected Noah to get a job, considering that she was a woman and Roma, so nothing was very much stacked in her favor. Things had started to look up for the three of them, and they were rather content, with the exception of one thing. There was just one thing they agreed they could all do without...
"HE'S COMING!" Al shouted to his two companions, as he looked out of the window to their home and saw a black car across the street pulling up that could only belong to one man.
"Aw crap, there's no back door!" Ed panics from the couch in the middle of their front room in front of the fireplace. Taking his right leg from its position perched on the left and slamming it down onto the hardwood floor.
"We have no choice, we'll have to hide!" Noah said from in front of the bookshelf to the left of the window.
"It's..." Al began "It's too late for me..."
With a gasp, Ed asks "Al, what are you talking about?"
"He saw me, Ed... He saw me, and so did Mustang..."
"Mustang's here, too?!" Dropping directly to the floor, Edward snakes to the back of the house, past the circular dinner table covered in the white cloth that was threatening to fall off, because it was in a house with a slob, a woman who surprisingly wasn't much better than said slob, and Al, who had started to give up. He made his way to the back room where everyone slept, and quickly opened up the large closet on the left. "Perfect!" He says as he gets inside and closes the door.
Back in the front, Noah looks at Al with sympathetic eyes and says "I'm sorry, Alphonse! I'm so sorry!"
"It's okay, Noah. Just escape while you can."
Nodding, Noah moves to the back and immediately dives under one of the beds after closing the door. The next sound she hears is absolutely sickening: The front door opens up, and Al faces his fate.
"Hey, there, Colonel Mustang... Officer Hughes..."
"Oh, no, Al!" Hughes says, walking over to Alphonse and putting an arm around the boy's shoulders "Not 'Officer' Hughes anymore! From now on, you're looking at 'Second Lieutenant' Hughes!"
"Right, I keep forgetting that!"
"Oh, sure, 'forgetting'. But never mind that, because I've got some great new pictures of my darling little daughter to show you!"
Switching from German to English, Al says "I was dreading this." Getting a family had changed Hughes, and Al was still trying to decide if that was for the better.
"Hey," Says Mustang with a smile as he walks into the room "Believe me, he's been showing us all. It's only fair that you take some of the pain."
Looking back and forth, Hughes says "What are you two talking about? That reminds me, I really gotta learn English... Anyway, look at this!" Maes exclaims, whipping out the first picture he made his daughter sit still for. It was a picture of his daughter and a new puppy, and Elicia was absolutely beaming "Isn't she just the cutest? You know, she named that dog Peppy, and now he follows her wherever she goes!"
Looking around and giving an amused 'Hmph', Roy says "Hey, I'll leave you guys to that, I need to do something."
"Huh? Whatever, anyway, Al-"
"WAIT!" Al shouts as he sees Mustang moving to the back of the house "What could you possibly need back there?!"
"Maybe something, maybe nothing, but don't worry about it. Oh, and Al? The pictures only get worse from here on out."
Glancing over at Roy, Hughes asks "What did you just say?"
Grinning now, the Colonel says "I said that the next picture is the best one!"
Reaching out, the youngest Elric shouts "NOOOO!" As Mustang walks away and opens the door to the back room. Looking around, he sees nothing out of the ordinary. Shutting the door behind him, he surveys the beds. From left to right, it was painfully obvious which bed belonged to who. The far right one was the one closest resembling order.
"I swear Al used to make his bed better than this." Much like the table cloth, Al was starting to give up on organizing his bed, especially with his doctor studies keeping him awake; this resulted in a bed with a neatly placed sheet, but a cover that was clearly, yet neatly, moved off to the side, so the occupant could get out. Another thing he noticed was that the pillow was nearing the edge of the bed. The bed to the left of his was clearly Noah's, as it reeked of someone who hadn't actually gotten used to the concept of using the same bed for more than one night, if they even got a bed for that night. Certain features, however, implied that she was trying to look neat next to Al, but wasn't really cutting it, what with the pillow that had no case, and the cover that was thrown to the side of the bed and drooping. The next one was Ed's by process of elimination and common sense. It had no pillow except for the one on the floor, on, perplexingly enough, the complete opposite side of where the cover had ended up. Giving a small chuckle at the sight, Roy says to himself.
"I'm pretty sure Ed used to make his bed better, too." He then walked directly to Noah's bed, knelt down and picked up the cover that was blocking the bottom of the bed. Putting his fingers to his mouth in a hushing fashion, he winked his left eye at Noah, who looked at him in fear that she would be dragged out into the living room. He puts the covers down and looks directly at the closet on the other side of the room. Walking over to it, he says "I always said that you needed to come out of the closet..." Opening the door and looking at Edward, he finishes "Fullmetal."
"Oh, ha, ha, very funny, Horse."
"Oh, Fullmetal's got a retort, this time!"
"Hey, Colonel, why do you call me Fullmetal, anyway?"
"Because, back in the States, that's what we call dogheaded stubborn types like you. That, and the arm and leg, those really helped. Besides, I heard your brother say that that was what you were called back home in... what was it called again?"
"Amestris."
"Wonderful, and you can tell Hughes all about it, while you listen to his captivating stories. By the way, you and your team are needed at the central office, we've been waiting for the results of your research. The army can't keep funding you if you don't get any results."
"Of course. I knew that coming just to annoy me was beyond even you, Horse."
"Oh, don't be so sure. Now, come, we have stories to listen to."
After Mustang dragged Ed from the room to the front, all that Noah could hear was the sound of Hughes going on and on about things she couldn't entirely hear properly, due to the thick walls of the place. One thing she could hear properly was Hughes saying "Huh? Where's Noah? These are some great pictures she's missing out on!" But there was only one thing going through her mind
"Ugh... I think I liked Hughes better when he was a racist..."
Funny thing, this story was literally written for the sake of having Noah say that last line.
