italics = flashbacks

Thea Queen squinted her eyes against the harsh Bali sunrise. Aside from choosing the most appropriate outfit for another night out clubbing, the pain that came with waking up had been her biggest concern over the Summer. But she loved that it was a small one. Fleeing Starling City from her mother and brother to spend a few months abroad with Margo was the smartest decision she'd ever made. Moira and Oliver most likely didn't agree, but oh well. That was their problem.

All Thea cared about was having mindless fun and eliminating all emotional attachments for the time being. Maybe forever. Her mother was a murderer as far as she was concerned and it was easier when her brother was dead. He was back, but he wasn't the same. Not the same Oliver who used to let her ride on his back when they would go on day trips to the zoo or watch Sunday morning cartoons with on the couch. He was secretive and continued to lie about whatever it was he was keeping from the family.

The secret didn't interest her anymore. It never did, really. She just wanted him back the way he was. Back to the way that it used to be between them. Easy. But it was never going to be that way again.

And then there was Roy. He would have left her too. They always leave. It's better this way.

She sighed heavily when a bare chest bumped against her back through the sheets. The guy's name from the club last night escaped her. Nick... Brian... K-something. Too much to think about on an empty stomach and a hangover. Ducking under his arm, Thea made her way across the large hotel room into the bathroom.

Turning on the sink, the small cuts that peppered her left arm above the wrist caught her eye. A constant reminder of what she ran (more like bolted) from. Nights when she was alone the nightmares came and they terrified her. The car in the ditch that night. All of those injured people. The crowded hospital. The wreckage from the bomb.

Eyes squeezed shut, Thea rocked back and forth, arms wrapped protectively around her body in the backseat of the car. Someone had run out in front of her while she was driving and it crashed into a ditch. Her head was bleeding and the throbbing pain mixed with the screams of panic outside was enough to make her crazy. Suddenly a woman fell against the car window screaming out in pain.

Thea gasped as her eyes snapped open to see that the woman's arm was severed. She quickly curled into a ball to disappear farther into herself. That's all she wanted to do. Disappear. Act like that night had never happened. It's not like anyone would miss her. Roy was a good guy underneath and she cared about him, but Thea didn't really know him.

Her Father. That's who she desperately wanted. No one made her feel safe like he did as a child. "It's going to be alright" he would say when she was upset, holding her. "Daddy's here. Tomorrow's a new day, sweetheart. I'm not going anywhere."

Thea needed that person. But he was dead and that person certainly wasn't her mother. The liar, cheat, and now murderer. Oliver said he was 'here now', but in truth he had never returned from the island. It killed every part of him that she loved. And she had loved him more than anyone despite the girls, and the partying, and all the bull shit that came with being a Queen.

She wiped away a few tears and stared down at her cell phone. Only 10% battery life. Oliver called three times already and she didn't answer. Which was wrong. She could be dead for all anyone knew. Moira had probably told him she had gone to the Glades before the explosion. 'T where are you? Call me as soon as you get this. Need to know you're safe' the newest text message said.

Fuck him. And her.

"So, how'd it go with what's-his-name?" Margo asked with a mouthful of eggs.

Thea stood next to the coffee machine waiting for it to finish.

"Sexy time, yes?" Margo repeated, smile creeping against the corners of her mouth.

"Can't remember." Thea answered honestly. "Let's go shopping downtown later. I want to buy that teal dress."

"The one with the sequins?" Thea nodded at her. "Def. That was hot. I can't believe your mother hasn't cut you off yet."

Thea rolled her eyes. Guilt was a powerful emotion.

And then said sexy time partner grabbed her around the waist from behind and squeezed her ass with a low grunt. Being treated like a sex object was something Thea had gotten used to. No attachments. Only uncomplicated fun. "Morning, gorgeous." He leaned down to gently kiss Thea's collarbone. "Forgot how fucking hot you were." He whispered in her ear and pulled her body against him.

Thea wriggled out of his grasp slightly and half-smiled up at him. "Hey."