Put Me Back Together Again
Castiel's screen lit up with an incoming text message. He had not quite gotten a handle on the strange machine, but just like everything else on Earth, he was beginning to get used to it. He even found himself feeling more at home among humans than he did in Heaven. He glanced down at his phone, the message was a single word.
Cas.
Yes Dean. Cas replied.
Nevermind.
Even through text, Cas could sense that something was wrong with Dean.
Dean, what's wrong?
Forget about it.
Dean, you know you can talk to me.
Goodbye Castiel.
Panic shot through Cas. Dean never called him that. What was happening? Dean was in trouble, he could feel it.
Within seconds Cas vanished, reappearing in a dark motel room. Dean sat on the motel bed, his green eyes flooded with tears. But Cas' eyes did not linger on those of the other man, his glance flew to the object in Dean's hand. The moonlight glinted of the cold metal of a hand gun, a gun that was shakily pressed to the temple of its holder. The green eyed man looked up, surprised by the appearance of the cloaked angel. "I am so sorry Cas..."
His fingers bent on the gun, but before he could pull the trigger it was pulled violently from his grasp. "Dean! What are you doing?"
"I'm so sorry Cas, I am so sorry."
"Sorry for what? Dean talk to me!" The angel sat down on the bed, holding the crying man's head in his hands.
"For everything." Dean choked, not bothering to shake Cas away.
"Dean, how could you ever think to do something like this?"
"It's all my fault Cas, I've been so selfish! Everyday Sammy wakes up in a motel bed or the seat of the car, and everyday I see him get up and I know that he shouldn't be here. He should being living it up with a wife and a fancy house, but I ruined that for him. I robbed him of his life Cas! And everyday I wake up and I know I shouldn't be here. My father died for me, and for what? So I could fuck up the lives of everyone I have ever loved? Thousands have died because of me and the mistakes I have made. I started the fucking Apocalypse and let the only family I ever knew die just because I couldn't clean up my own messes."
Dean was sobbing now. Cas just sat and stared, stunned. "I have let down everyone so many times I have lost track." Dean continued. "Everyday I think of what the world would be like without me. I tell myself that I am a hero, that I help people, but I know the truth. Everyone would be better off if I had never entered their lives, Sammy, Bobby, Ellen, Joe, Dad, Rufus, you, everybody! I mean look at you Cas, you killed your own family for me. And for what; so we could continue 'Team Freewill!' You've given everything to me Cas and I've only brought you pain. "Please Cas, just leave."
"Dean, no." Cas whispered, wrapping his arms around the shaking man. "Never have I regretted pulling you from Hell. I might have had the orders to do so, but I didn't do it because you were Michael's vessel. I did it because I knew that the world needed you. That Sam needed you. That I needed you. Listen to me when I say this Dean Winchester. You are a man of greatness, and you are not alone. I am here for you Dean and I always will be. You are worth every tear and every drop of blood. Dean I would do anything for you and I know you would do the same for me. I am here Dean, let me help you."
"But goddammit Cas that's the point, I'm not worth saving!"
"You are to me." Dean began to protest but he was cut short by the impact of warm lips on his own. Everything melted away, the fact that he was kissing his best friend did not even cross his mind. Their lips began to meld together as the kiss grew deeper. Green eyes met blue, a thousands words expressed in a single glance. Dean was still a broken man, but for every moment that the kiss lasted Cas began to put him back together again.