Luffy's dating disasters…
I don't mean to offend anyone by writing this novel nor do I have anything against people who are gay. I happen to be friends with 3. Any characters that remotely resemble, or take the name of, anyone you know, alive or dead, is purely coincidence. Sorry if you take offense, it's just a comedy of misunderstandings… :P
"Maybe he's gay…" A young, orange-haired woman stated to her friend, whilst enjoying a tropical red drink.
"I don't think he is Navigator-san…" Her friend answered. A tall, slim, raven-haired woman lay next to her on the adjacent deck chair. They both wore shades to conceal their stalking eyes from the world.
The Sunny was two hours away from reaching the next island, Yume garden. From the rumours, it sounded like heaven. It was a summer island surrounded in sandy shores and huge tropical trees that apparently had the world's best coconuts growing from. There was also a large variety of restaurants, cafes, hotels, shops and markets.
"Why don't we make a bet…" Nami grinned at her friend who simply raised an eyebrow at her.
"What did you have in mind?" She answered coyly.
"I bet that I can prove he IS gay on the next island…" She smirked hoping Robin would be interested in her scheme.
"Oh, then I'll take that bet. What will be the prize when I win?" She answered.
"Hah! IF you win, we will go shopping where I will buy you any outfit you wish. If you lose, you will buy me any outfit I wish!" She grinned holding her hand out to shake on her bet.
"Deal…" Robin met with Nami's hand and shook it once, in a very lady-like manner.
They both peered over at Luffy who was bothering Zoro's weight lifting, for which he wore no shirt. He kept walking around him in circles trying to get his attention. He only succeeded in pissing the swordsman off.
"GET LOST LUFFY! GO BUG THE GIRLS!" Zoro yelled impatiently, losing count of the number of swings he had took with his heavy training pole.
Luffy sighed and headed over to the deck chairs sitting in front of the girls cross-legged, and picking his nose blankly.
"What is it Luffy?" Nami asked sweetly, still smirking over their bet and secretly teasing their idiotic captain. Robin simply smiled as if she knew something.
"Zoro's being boring and said I should bug you…" He answered plainly. He broke out into a grin, "What'cha doin'?"
"Oh, nothing really…" She answered still smiling. "So what would you like in a companion Luffy?"
"C-Companion?" He asked confused. "What do you mean?"
"What do you want in your future partner?" She asked again.
"Partner? I don't want a partner I want a group of people…"
Nami's eyes opened wide in shock at his bold statement. "L-Luffy!"
"What? I don't want to have a partner. But I suppose Zoro is kind of like a partner right?" He grinned
Nami burst out laughing then shot a glance at Robin. "So what qualities have they got to have?"
"They gotta be strong, talented, fierce, fun and anything else they wanna be really…"
Nami grinned, thinking the captain was being open about his needs but didn't realise her captain's innocent answer. The raven haired woman smiled at the captain she thought was adorable. She knew what he meant, and also knew Nami didn't get it…
Nami stood up grinning and headed towards the kitchen to fetch the deserts Sanji had made her and Robin. Before she left she patted Luffy on the head like some sort of dog and waltzed off.
"Nami is strange sometimes." Luffy said moving onto picking his ear. "I don't want a partner I'm the captain. Me and me alone! Hey if Zoro is the first mate that does make him a partner… sort of… right? I classed every one as being part of our adventures!" He pouted.
Robin chuckled knowing he was referring to his crew and first mate. She didn't have the heart to tell him how Nami had taken his knowledge.
Once they set foot on land, Nami looked around taking in the scenery of the gorgeous soft beaches and bending trees. She smiled prettily then headed off into town to find out what she needed to know.
She had ran into town and stumbled upon the market. She walked over to the man selling magazines and smiled. "Do you know when the log pose will set?"
He looked her up and down sceptically. "Giv' it 2 days…" He answered gruffly.
"Thank you… and do you know where there might be a single man in need of a male companion for tomorrow evening?" She couldn't help but grin at her plans sometimes.
The man shot her a disgusted look. "Well… if you're into all that… There is a club where they hang out in the 5th district called Lou's… trust me you can't miss it…"
"Thank you… and it's for my friend not me…" She added frowning at his thought.
"Sure…" He added, then turned before she could answer, as he started shouting the names of the new magazines he had for sale.
"Do you think she knows yet?" Luffy asked Robin, grinning his trade-mark grin.
"No captain-san, why don't you tell her…"
"Be-c-a-u-s-e!" He whined.
"The sooner you tell her the better… Things could turn bad…" Robin added, trying to keep smiling but couldn't help a sweat drop crawl down her head comically.
"No… don't wanna…"
Stubborn captain…
When Nami rounded the corner she fell on the floor in surprise at the tallest building in town. It was painted pink and purple with a flashing glittery sign that read 'Lou's' with a pair of lips adorning the end. She pulled a face full of disgust and walked slowly over to the man at the front desk.
"Hi-i-i-i! I'm Gareth! How can I help you! Oh-My-Gosh! Aren't you the cutest thing!" The large woman man dressed in a long blonde wig wearing a tight black dress and heels approached Nami causing her to panic.
"Erm… Hi Gareth. I… uh… wanna hook my male friend up with… another guy who is single… Is there someone you recommend?" She faked a smile not knowing how to react.
A tall man walked past them and out the door in a tartan mini skirt with black boots and black long hair. She grinned at Nami when passing her and started to hand out flyers to passer bys.
"He said he likes people who are: strong, talented, fierce, fun and anything else they wanna be."
"I know just the guy! Oh!" He winked at Nami and turned for her to follow as he was about to lead her up the stairs when they heard a manly scream and a loud fuss being caused outside. Nami stood confused and then continued up the stairs.
Zoro had been walking around the streets, lost, for fifteen minutes. He made his way up a busy street that was adorned in common pubs until he came to the end of the street. Time seemed to stop as he lowly turned his head in surprise. His jaw was open wide and his eyes seemed vacant of any pupil or iris.
"H-e-y sugar!" A man wearing a tartan skirt, black wig and black boots, strutted over to him pouting their full red lips. He still had a stubble on his chin. Zoro panicked knowing exactly who he was heading towards.
He turned quickly not wanting to be dragged into anything funny but clattered straight into a man holding several kitchen pans and equipment. A huge noise sounded as they all fell to the floor, clanging together and momentarily stunning the green-haired man.
Zoro screamed, a very deep scream in contrast to the squeaky one sounding from the wigged man who snaked his arm around Zoro's waist.
"Darn, the good ones always get away!" The wigged man pouted watching Zoro run a marathon to the end of the street.
"Thank you so much! So tomorrow night at 7'o clock, here!" Nami stated proudly to the two men who stood waving her off in front of the restaurant 'Lou's'.
"Tell him to be prepared honey!" The second shouted teasingly. They didn't have a high, squeaky voice like the other men in drag there. They simply had an average voice, not too deep.
Nami was proud of her tactics and even more proud of her good nature. She had paid up front for a table in the flashy restaurant for Luffy's date.
Back on the ship Nami rushed over to tell Luffy the news.
"Luffy! Come here!" She yelled climbing over the edge of the ship. "I have good news!"
"Nami?! You took ages!" He whined, but jumped inside at being near his spunky navigator.
"Sorry! Anyway, tomorrow night you have a 'meeting' with someone who could be a suitable companion! I have paid for the meeting arrangements already so don't you dare say no!" She said putting her hands on her hips and pouting.
"Okay… but why?" He asked wanting to know why he had to meet someone.
"Think of it as a treat from me!" She beamed. She didn't know why, but it stung inside a little at seeing her captains questioning eyes.
"OKAY!" He yelled running off to Robin.
Nami walked inside to have a shower, receiving a sorrowful look from Robin.
"Hey Robin! Did you here? I'm meeting someone tomorrow who could be a companion! We're getting another Nakama! Maybe they're a musician!"
"…Captain-san…" Robin pitied the clueless captain who ran off to play on the swing with Chopper and Usopp.
Luffy walked up to Lou's and stopped, gaping at the sign.
"WOW!" He yelled as the huge glittery sign made his eyes pop out of his head. He walked up to the front desk and stared at the man behind the counter, of course he was fooled.
"Yo! I'm supposed to be meeting someone…" He said plainly.
"Name sugar…"
"Sugar! Where?" He looked around confused at the 'woman's' statement.
"Aww how adorable!"
"I'm Luffy…"
"Ah! The spunky young girl told me about you!" The man winked at him.
"Really! What'd she say? Isn't she great! She's my navigator!" Luffy yelled proudly.
"Oh, if I didn't know any better I'd be thinking you were straight!" The wigged man called.
"What do ya mean straight?" He felt like something important was being kept from him.
The man took this statement to be back chat daring him to think that he was straight and simply chuckled at him.
"I won't hold you here forever! Follow me to your table… he's waiting!" The wigged man stood up and walked through a purple, velvet curtain to reveal several tables with a single red rose in the centre of each. He carried on walking until he reached a secluded table in the corner, where a red-haired man sat wearing a netted, see through vest and jeans. His hair was short, but had a long fringe spiked out to each side.
"Hey, I'm Roy. It's nice to meet you Luffy." He said with a smile, looking the teenage captain in the eyes.
"Yo. Nice to meet ya!"
"Feel free to order anything off the menu! It's already been paid for!" The wigged man called before strutting away grinning.
Nami bit her thumb nervously, wondering how they were getting on. She was walking down the street with Robin from where they had just dropped him off at.
"Captain-san looked very handsome. You did a good job picking out that red shirt to go with his black pants." Robin called smiling to the nervous girl.
"Un. He did, didn't he? I'm quite proud of myself!" She replied with a smile.
"This doesn't mean he is gay though Navigator-san. He should know by the end of the evening what you had intended by this date. He should at least have a clue to go by if he doesn't fully understand." She chuckled.
"Yeah!" Nami laughed, "He can be so lost at times, and completely hopeless when it comes to intelligence. He is a complete klutz too…" She added.
Robin frowned at her. "In a relationship, I could imagine him to be very loyal, and loving. Don't you agree?"
"Un. It's a shame he is gay…" Nami said grinning at Robin.
"We'll see…"
Once they had eaten dinner, Roy stared shocked at Luffy's lack of table manners and never ending stomach. He found it adorable like everyone else.
Luffy took this time to notice that everyone around him was in couples and were all men. He looked back at Roy, "This must be popular with business people huh?" He asked.
Roy took this as a joke and laughed at the boy. "Yeah I suppose you could say that."
Roy pulled his chair closer to Luffy's and received a strange look from the raven-haired boy. He leaned closer to him smiling and crossed his fingers to rest his chin on them.
They talked for ages about, what seemed like, nothing. Luffy took note that every time something funny was said, Roy would graze his arm or leg, and pat it. Luffy was getting confused at this man's actions in comparison to that of his crew mates. Usopp or Zoro would smack him firmly on the back if laughing at him, which sometimes sent him flying.
He knew what love was, how couldn't he? Sanji showed it so frequently to Nami and he felt it himself for the same spunky red head. He had seen how she acted around Sanji, dong exactly what the man in front of him was doing, only she was doing it from using Sanji.
"So tell me about yourself…"
"I'm Luffy, I'm 17, I'm captain of my ship, I'm going to be the pirate king and find One Piece."
Roy gasped, as did all of the other people in the same room. They all stared at his grinning face and mentally compared it with the wanted poster they had all seen. They all stood up staring at him with shock.
"STRAW HAT LUFFY!" They all yelled at the same time.
"Yo!" He laughed.
"I would never have guessed you were gay…" Roy added sheepishly.
"Gay? What's that mean?" He tilted his head to the side opening his jaw confused.
"I-I got to get going now, it was nice to meet you…" Roy said scared.
"Oi, I thought ya wanted to become my Nakama?" Luffy questioned.
Roy and the wigged man suddenly understood the situation, more or less, and took pity on the 17 year old.
"We think you should ask someone who knows how to explain it to you…" They explained sighing.
"Oh, okay! Later!" He yelled walking out the door with a grin.
Back on the ship Zoro was on watch duty, or sleeping on deck, when Luffy launched himself over the side and then jumped on the swordsman's stomach.
"GYA!" He yelled getting the air knocked out of him.
"Zoro, what does gay mean?" He asked with a grin.
Zoro suddenly got confused at the captain, backing off behind the nearby barrel of sake. "Why do you ask?"
"Nami set me up to meet some guy called Roy at a place called Lou's and he said he didn't think I would be gay when he found out I was Straw Hat Luffy. So what does gay mean?"
Taking in all the information, Zoro fell to the floor in fits of laughter, clutching his sides and crying. Luffy got confused, so he jumped to the floor beside Zoro and began to copy him, laughing and crying.
A couple of minutes later Luffy smacked him over the head expecting an answer as he got to his knees. "Zoro! Give me an answer!"
"Idiot!" He yelled clutching his head where he was hit, "Gay means you are attracted to members of the same sex! Basically it means if you are a guy, you only like guys!"
Taking in a further minute of bantering from Zoro Luffy finally understood what he meant. "Mystery feeling…" He concluded receiving a smack in return from Zoro.
"Go away now, I'm trying to sleep!" He finally yawned, leaning back down on his arm.
"Wait, where's Nami…?"
"With Robin in town som-" He stopped seeing Robin climb over the side of the ship alone.
"Robin? Where's Nami?" Luffy asked seriously.
Robin smiled, "She should be back later, why don't you wait here for her when she boards ship?"
"Aa, Zoro, you can go inside, I'll take tonight's watch." Zoro grinned and walked inside glad that he got out of his duty.
Nami had been to the local bar and knocked back a few drinks to calm her down. She climbed the Thousand Sunny and searched for any sign of life. She sighed thinking Zoro would have fallen asleep somewhere.
She walked over to her room but was stopped when she heard a voice come from behind her.
"Yo, Nami…" Luffy called. She didn't know why but his voice sounded different.
"Luffy? How did it go?" She asked smiling.
"Oh, you mean the 'meeting'" He said over emphasizing the word meeting. "Great…"
She frowned at him, she could tell something was wrong with him.
"Luffy… what's wrong…?" She called eventually.
Her eyes opened wide when he walked over to her speedy and pinned her against the wall of the kitchen. She looked into his eyes noticing he had a serious expression. He let his right arm touch the wall while the other trailed his index finger over her soft lips.
"Lu---" She began to say but was stopped by his finger, which stopped her lips from moving.
His face was inches away from her face as his finger still trailed over her bottom lip, parting them slightly.
"Nami, I'm not gay." He stated plainly, making her eyes be thrown open once more. She took note that his eyes were hooded, staring at her lips full of lust. His hot breath was causing her to lose focus of what was going on then silence.
He captured her lips with his own, still holding on to her chin. She stood in shock then relaxed against her firm captain, closing her eyes in return. She gave in to his passionate kiss, allowing his thumb to pull her chin down allowing an entrance into her mouth. His tongue explored her mouth sensually, memorising each corner and texture.
He pulled away from her and looked into her hooded brown eyes. "Do you believe me, or do I have to kiss you every second of the day until you do believe me…"
She felt herself blush at his bold words. "Well, I don't know which option to choose. Both sound good to me."
He grinned back at her and stole her lips once more, letting his arms hold her waist and neck. She slowly let her arms travel up his back, down and around each muscle gently squeezing them excitedly.
She sighed realising she had lost the bet she had been confident about, but smiled happily at what she had gained in return… that goofy grin.
And that silly straw hat…
If you find some part of this story offensive, or don't agree with what I have written, tell me and I'll change it. I don't want people to hate me because of this story. It's just something to make you laugh. Mainly laugh at the male's way of behaving around people who are gay when they aren't.
Review please!
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