"You're going out? Just after coming back from Arthur's house? It's only been half-an-hour, and it's nearly midnight!"
Ludwig sighed. Honestly. Couldn't Gilbert have gone back to Berlin? He was only in Vienna for another day, then he would be back home.
"Ja." answered Gilbert, solemnly. Gilbert was at the door already, but he stopped and turned around to look at his brother, who had turned back to, and was staring intently, at a newspaper. "Ludwig…"
His unusually serious tone made Ludwig look up. "What is it, Gilbert?"
The personification of the former country of Prussia looked as though he was wondering how to phrase something. "…you know I love you, right? You'll always be my little brother." He coughed into his hand.
"…Ja, of course. You'll still be my older brother, no matter what."
"…Auf Wiedersehen, Ludwig. Say hi to Veneziano for me… and get a move on. It's so obvious you like him, it's so obvious he likes you. Get together while you still can. Please." The last part was whispered, and passed by the oblivious Ludwig, unnoticed. Gilbert's face turned sad, so sad as he looked at his brother.
The door shut quietly behind him. If Ludwig had been paying more attention to his brother and less to his newspaper, he would have found that odd. Indeed, he would have found it odd that Gilbert had asked him to say hi to Veneziano, even though he knew perfectly well that Ludwig was not going to see him for a few days.
Maybe he'd also have noticed the shadows under the dull eyes that usually shined with life. Maybe he'd have heard the muttered "Ich liebe dich, brüder" through the door.
-
Several streets away from the hotel room that Ludwig was currently staying in, Roderich Edelstein was playing his piano - or rather, he was trying to. Something just wasn't right that night, although he had no idea what. His hands brushed across the white keys gently.
He suddenly heard knocking at his door. The door of his piano room was adjacent to the hall, so he could easily hear comings and goings if the door was open, as it was. He ignored it. Hopefully, whatever fool would come around at this time of night would go away.
That's what he thought until he heard harsh coughing muted by the distance, and a sound like someone collapsing onto the ground. Roderich may have been strict, but he wouldn't just leave someone in that condition to the mercy of the elements. He quickly strode over to his front door and opened it, revealing…
"Beilshmidt?" he asked incredulously. Of course, he knew that Ludwig was in Vienna - but Gilbert? This was the first he'd heard of the ex-nation for weeks!
"R-roddy…" Oh God, he looked so ill! What on Earth was wrong? He helped Gilbert into the house. "What's wrong with you?!" he asked snappishly.
The obviously ill man stared at him dispassionately. The expression was not right on his face. He was always excited about everything he did. "Brüder West thinks I'm fine. You think I'm fine too." His voice was monotonic, robot-like.
"Of- of course I do! This is just something… you'll be fine with some-"
"No I won't." Gilbert was overcome by another fit of coughing. His eyes shone with unshed tears. A very rare thing to see on the Prussian's face. "Everybody thinks I'm not going to die! I see it their faces… Gott, I didn't want to hurt West… he was so happy when I didn't disappear back then! He's convinced nothing's going to happen!"
A glassy tear slid down his pale cheek. Gilbert angrily dashed it away and seemed to calm down a bit. "Gott, I'm such an idiot! Why couldn't I tell him what's happening? I'm going to hurt West so badly."
His hands clenched at his face, and he was barely audible. Roderich could hear muffled sobs emanating from the normally brash, impetuous silver-haired man. Roderich really did not know what to do in this situation. Gilbert crying was something he'd never expected, ever. He guided Gilbert to an armchair and motioned for him to sit down, which he did, ungraciously, hands only leaving his face when he sat down.
"What is it? Why are you so…" The Austrian couldn't think of a word that wouldn't offend Gilbert's vanity, although he did wonder why he cared for his feelings at all.
"Why am I like this? Why do I look like crap?" laughed Gilbert, some remnants of his past self shining through.
Basically, thought Roderich.
"…It's been a long time for the humans since that time, hasn't it? A lifetime for most. That War."
Roderich let him continue. It was not wise to interrupt somebody who looked like they were going to keel over at any second. "To us, it seems like yesterday, well, at least for me it does. You remember everything too, don't you? I'm sure we all do."
I can remember everything. All those deaths. It's always there when a nation is at war, in the back of their head, ignored.
"Remember when they dissolved me?" Gilbert's words were brash, but his eyes were haunted. "I'll tell you what happened, Roddy, so just listen, okay?"
February 23 1947
"Gilbert…? Gilbert!"
Everything was hazy. Arthur couldn't be serious. He couldn't. He just couldn't. Uncontrollable glassy tears that he just couldn't stop rolled down his pale cheeks."You're dissolving me? Why? Why-why-why would you…?"
The Englishman swayed and flickered as the world seemed to crash and turn dark. "Gilbert, you're hyperventilating. Slow down your breathing."
"What's the point in that?" he screamed at the victorious Ally. "I'm going to die anyway.""…"
His breathing grew faster and more ragged. He collapsed to the ground, sobbing. He panicked. He grabbed the material of Arthur's uniform desperately as Arthur looked down at him, shocked at the sudden burst of emotion. "No, please! Please, don't! I'll do anything, please! Please, no! Don't!"
"Beilshmidt…?"
'Beilshmidt' glowered at him. "Yeah, I wasn't so awesome, but I was going to die, I had an excuse, didn't I?!" He looked away. "Besides," he added bitterly, "I was already gone in all but the name they were taking away. Mein Brüder… did that…" he trailed off. "My own little brother who I raised since he was…" He shook his head and moved away from the painful subject.
"But Arthur, he had a… deal." Roderich looked alarmed. Behind the lenses of his glasses, violet eyes narrowed. "A deal? What kind of deal?"
Gilbert looked distant. "Well, not his really."
The Prussian gazed upwards, unable to take in the fluttering shapes of different colours. The air seemed to swirl with… well, he couldn't really tell what the sparkling specks were. The wood glowed with… well, it glowed with magic.
He stood next to Arthur. Several of the shapes came down to greet him. As they did, Gilbert could see their miniature humanoid forms. And their butterfly wings that beat the air gently, so gently. Fairies. They really did exist! Their faces showed varied emotions. Welcoming expressions, wary expressions, angry expressions.
"Why did you bring another, Arthur?" one hissed in annoyance. "Who is this?" one asked with a curious tone to its curious, bell-like voice.
Arthur told them who Gilbert Beilshmidt was. He told them about the situation. After that, they asked him what they were supposed to do about it.
"That deal," he said, "You know the one that I'm talking about."
They seemed more interested after he said that. They crowded in and gazed at Gilbert with unbridled curiosity. "Well, it's really up to him then, isn't it?"
-
Roderich was frowning. "Fairies…? Arthur's fairies? But they're not…"
"I saw them with my own eyes," Gilbert said simply, "and then I took their deal."
"What deal? You never told me what the deal was." Gilbert turned his scarlet eyes to him. Regretful eyes? Maybe. It was hard to see what emotion was present.
"Understand that I regretted making that deal later. I really, really did. I tried to take it back so many times after I realised… what I'd done."
"What was the deal? Tell me!" There was an edge to the Austrian's voice, a panicked undertone.
Gilbert's expression was one of stunned disbelief. "I'm not going to die? I'm not going to die!" He laughed joyously. "I'm not going to die!"
A fairy landed in front of him. "But of course, Gilbert Beilshmidt Prussia, we require something from you." Arthur tensed next to him, but the overjoyed man didn't notice. "Anything! Anything!"
"Childhood memories. That is what we wish from you." Gilbert was more than happy to give away memories of that time. They'd never meant that much to him anyway.
"Of course! Just take them! Just take them!" The fairy smiled at him. Not evilly, or sympathetically. Just an emotionless smile.
"I'm afraid we do not want your memories, Gilbert Beilshmidt Prussia. They are sad, and we wish for times of happiness… what we want is just your consent for us to take another's."
"Whose memories? Whose?" Roderich's voice grew in agitation, until he nearly shouted the words. "Can't you guess?" Gilbert's voice was bitter. When there was silence, he added a name. "Holy Roman Empire's."
Roderich took a step away from Gilbert, a look of disbelief etched into his features. "Holy Roman Empire is dead. He has been for centuries."
"Didn't you ever wonder why you could never find his body?" Roderich flinched. "Well, he disappeared, disso-" He stopped abruptly, remembering the state of Prussia.
"I saw you, you know." said Gilbert, ignoring Roderich's slip-up. "You searched all the battlefields he'd fought at, just in case he was there for hours, just calling out his name, hoping. It didn't matter if the sun was beating down, or when you were all spattered with blood from the bodies. You kept searching for years, until there were no bodies to search through."
"I-"
"Of course you thought maybe he's alive, but you told yourself that it was impossible. Francis had told you, after all, that he had been responsible." He looked up, a new sense of resolve in his eyes. "He was lying. You know he's brilliant at lying. Even to little Veneziano Vargas. He didn't even falter as he broke a little boy's heart."
"He's not alive, he's dead. Why wouldn't he… why wouldn't he tell us? Why wouldn't Holy Roman Empire tell us he was alive? After the promise he made to…" Roderich trailed off, realising that what he had been about to say should be kept private between those who already knew of Veneziano and Holy Roman Empire's bond.
However, Gilbert smiled. "I know about Veneziano and Holy Roman Empire." He looked clearly at Roderich, smile slowly dying away as a look of reminiscence came washing like a late tide over his face.
"I found Holy Roman Empire, just a few hours after his final battle. He was almost dead, so maybe Francis did believe he had killed him… I thought about leaving him, but he had already been dissolved, so I was curious… I wondered why he wasn't dead."
"Wait a minute!" said Roderich, secretly pleased that he had found a counter-argument to this mad, mad fairytale. Gilbert looked curiously at Roderich. "What?"
"Holy Roman Empire's childhood wasn't happy. Why would they want it? I- I mean hypothetically…" He was not willing to show that he was starting to believe Gilbert's mad tale. "Happier than most of ours, Roddy. Young love is written off, but it's more powerful than most people know." Roderich grimaced and said "You're talking like Francis Bonnefoy."
Gilbert seemed quite offended at this. "But it's true…" He coughed again, a deep, throaty cough which continued - and was that… blood? Roderich tried to see, but his hand was pushed away. "I'm fine."Roderich was not convinced, but duly went on. "But, surely he would have contacted us… let us know he was alive… even if not us, then for Veneziano's sake…"
"Roddy. Let's get one thing straight. Fairies. Are. Magical. They can do stuff that nobody can explain. Like managing to erase memories - starting from centuries ago."
"I don't understand…" said Roderich plainly, not understanding this new bizarre concept.
"They took Holy Roman Empire's memories of the time before he 'died' from him after he 'died'. They told me so. At the time, I blamed it on amnesia."
"So, you are telling me that they reached back through time and took them. This story seems more and more like a fantasy. And you are acting very suspiciously, very out of character. It's obvious that you're attempting to act," stated Roderich. "Very obvious…"
A thought suddenly occurred to him, and he was about to add it to his speech, but he was interrupted by the Prussian, who looked confused.
"I'm acting out of character? Am I? Really?" He seemed quite surprised by this. Roderich then asked the question he had asked at the beginning.
"Why are you so unwell… Gilbert? Tell me why." snapped Roderich.
"If you insist, Roddy. I reversed the deal." Gilbert smiled hauntingly, a smile which wove itself into Roderich's most hated nightmares for years to come. "W-wait, what?" Roderich was interrupted by Gilbert. "It stops at midnight. I came straight back from Arthur today. I found a loophole, then I finally managed to take back the deal at ten o'clock this morning, and I came straight back afterwards."
"What are you talking about? Do you really believe that fairies saved you? You're alive because you lived, Gilbert, okay! Nations don't die because they're dissolved, they live on, you proved that! And anyway," he said, bringing his thought into the conversation, "Why did you never tell us what happened to Holy Roman Empire? Veneziano was heatbroken, Elizaveta was heartbroken, hell, I missed him!"
Gilbert looked away. "Would you look at the time" he said. "It's a minute to midnight. Well, more like forty seconds…" The smile was still fixed on his face, but his eyes showed none of the happiness which a smile was supposed to add to a facial expression."Stop it," whispered Roderich, fiercely, "and tell me why you never told anyone if that was the case!"
"Thirty five seconds…" He said, eyes fixed on the clock. "Waiting…" the words were said almost innocently, reverentially.
"You're not going to die. Stop it - you're making a fool of yourself by acting like this! If you're lying, tell me, if you're not then why did you-"
"Roddy… tell Lizzie that I always saw her as a friend, 'kay? And tell Antonio and Francis they're awesome. And tell Arthur not to blame himself. It was all because of me this happened."
Roderich glanced at the ticking clock on the wall. 11:59:45. If Gilbert wasn't lying then… fifteen seconds…!
"Oi, Roddy." I'm going to die so I don't have time to regret telling you this. Ich hab dich lieb."
Roderich started. "P-pardon?"
"Let me finish. I never will if I don't," said Gilbert, holding a hand up to quieten the other nation. He spoke quickly. "Ich liebe dich von ganzem Herzen. Du bist die Liebe meines Lebens." Gilbert scowled with embarrassment, as the last colour ever to appear in those marble-coloured cheeks showed itself at the latter statement, and he said the last part even faster. "Ich liebe dich, Roderich."
…Roderich wasn't entirely sure how to respond to the sudden confession. "Gilbert, I-"
A strange, strangled sound came from the back of the Prussian's throat. Red eyes squeezed shut as he clutched at his chest. He gasped in air.
"Preußen!"
"…Suum… cuique… in the end…" He grinned his last grin at Roderich as he flopped forwards towards the floor, eyes the colour of blood closing as the clock ticked onwards.
-
The newspaper slipped to the ground as fingers loosened in shock. Previously weary blue eyes bulged.
Ludwig bolted upright, mind swirling with strange new memories… no, old. The scenery, the language, the youth of the countries in them, they had to be old. But, what did they mean? What could they mean?!
(…become Roman Empire… with me… Italy…
Green grass… blue sky… pretty little maid… who I know as… Italy…? I-Italy?! Veneziano! What the he-
…don't… please, don't become like Grandpa…
Crying… running… leaving to fight… leaving to die…? I don't know then but… I'm going to die… when was this!? Whe-
…Where are you? Where are you, answer me! Answer me…
I'm over here… there's blood… there's red everywhere… a voice I can't respond to… sounds like… Roderich Edelstein? Why… what's happeni-
…what the hell? Are you…
Running footsteps… blood… scarlet eyes like the blood I'm lyi-
…don't tell me you're that guy. Well you look like…
… strange white hair… confused features… I don't recognise him then, but… Brüder…? It's a life I don't know… who is it, tell me the name of the person who this memory belongs to!
Well, you look like the Holy Roman Empire, kid, so I guess…you must be him.
Ludwig didn't know what to do. Was he… that person? Was he the Holy Roman Empire? How could he have forgotten if he was? What happened? Gott, was this all true?!
"Brüder Preußen! Brüder!" he screamed, before realising that his Brüder was out. Fluch! Where? He needed answers! Where could he be?! Somewhere nearby… wasn't Roderich nearby? But why would Gilbert go there, why would he…?
His normally clear, focused mind was scrambled everywhere. As he tried to stay calm, more memories would suddenly appear out of nowhere. Ludwig was panicking. He needed his Brüder to tell him it was all right…
No matter that Ludwig was more powerful, was still a country, was more mature than him. He still needed his Brüder.
He slammed through the door and ran.
-
"Brüder!" The unlocked front door nearly came off its hinges as the cry echoed through the quiet house. Even to the panicking German, the silence was eerie and unnatural.
He halted for a few seconds, ears straining to hear and movement, but all he could hear was the thunder from outside and a faint ticking sound, no doubt from a clock.
Suddenly, Ludwig was startled to realise something. There had been no mention of any storms on the Vienna weather forecast. Oh well, no doubt, it had been wrong anyway.
He stopped immediately as he heard an almost inaudible sound from through an ajar door.
-
Not surprisingly, Roderich didn't jump at the sudden intruder in his house. He just kept staring down at the still figure of Gilbert. He looked like he was sleeping. He really did. Maybe he would wake up… please wake up.
You never even gave me any time to answer you, idiot.
He's so still… I can't… I can't accept this… I can't believe this… why wouldn't he tell me before? Why did he just spring this on me now?! Damn it, Gilbert! Why didn't you warn me?!
A tear managed to slip down Roderich's cheek unnoticed by him. He buried his face in Gilbert's soft pale hair. "Nein." he whispered softly, the word ruffling silvery strands of hair that slowly darkened and faded into the darkness of the night. Outside, a lightning flash indicated the coming of the unpredicted storm in Vienna. It illumined the alabaster face of the deceased, and then all was black.
"Nein, Gilbert…"
Another flash lit up the room with unearthly white light revealing nothing but slim fingers that once held a humanoid form, that was suddenly gone, like a wisp of smoke, drifting through desperately clutching fingers. Roderich's now unoccupied hands fell limply to his sides. A metallic object that was still warm from being against skin slipped onto the floor with a clatter that echoed through the silence.
Gilbert's Iron Cross.
Ludwig stared in incomprehension at the scene. "Brüder…? Roderich…?" he whispered softly, the demanding questions dying on his lips as the clock ticked away.
It was exactly fifteen minutes past midnight.
-
German English
Ich hab dich lieb… You are dear to me...
Fluch! Damn!
Ich liebe dich von ganzem Herzen. I love you with all my heart.
Du bist die Liebe meines Lebens. You are the love of my life.
Ich liebe dich. I love you.
