A/n: Hey readers out there, you may know me as your neighbor, your local doctor, (psh… hell no), your annoying possum that sneaks onto your roof or just that random author that you may assume that she takes drugs. (Don't take drugs. No joke) Anyways, I realised that I never wrote anything for a special anniversary and I was like… "Why not…" And poured all the things out of my head today… anyways!
Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto or any of its characters, if I did, chapter 614 and up wouldn't have existed… MISS YOU NEJI! *sobs*and oh yeah… wrote how Sasuke and the gang got the black cloaks in chapter 617 :/ Just saying…
Warning: SPOILERS! For Naruto 614-617 and a tiny bit of Bleach spoilers for 523…524... and maybe 525
Plus there will be a bit of swearing.
This place… the afterlife … warm and happy…
Hyuga Neji opened his ivory eyes and found himself in an open white space, he was in his war outfit and luckily the wounds had stitched themselves up. Something in his chest felt lighter than ever, almost as if he was no longer burdened by anything. He could clearly remember his grand death scene, jumping in front of Hinata and Naruto knowing that they will deal with Madara and Obito.
Now that Neji was in the place that he would like to assume that was heaven, he wondered what to do as a free bird. He should probably look for his father first.
"Hey Neji!"
Neji raised his eyebrow down at the new figure who happened to be a girl shorter than him, with messy dark hair in a bun (strangely enough it reminded him of Tenten) and brown eyes. She wore a dark blue singlet and knee-length denim shorts, but why did Neji care about her clothes? He didn't know, but at least she wasn't naked.
"How do you know of my name?" The Hyuga asked dryly, narrowing his eyes down at the stranger to give a nasty glare to this girl. Oh damn… it better not be one of his rabid fan girls… If it was then Neji would've died for nothing. He shuddered violently when he remembered that when he swam in the lake for a cool down, the fans took his clothing. Tenten then had to get him some clothes while he was sinking in shame.
"Oh… silly me, I'm Agua the Awesome! But you can call me Agua because you're awesome enough." She grinned widely and shook his hand which left him glaring darkly.
His scowl deepened as he let the information sink in, "I remember you, you're that lunatic that wrote that demon story on me and Tenten."
"Tenten and I, Neji… silly boy… and Living Dead of the Night was a good story!" Agua showed a pout, her arms crossing over her chest. "At least you ended up living in that story! Unlike other stories… in which many Narutards have been talking*cough*arguing about the past few weeks…"
"But didn't you write Too Late as well? And once again you tried paired me up with Tenten!"
The author paused in consideration, and gave a thoughtful face, "Oh yeah…. Well at least Tenten got more screen time in my story than the actual manga! She also showed an emotion other than going 'Lee…' I mean anyone can do that!" She was unaware that her OTP mode was on.
Neji narrowed his eyes dully at her, "Why are you complaining to me? I did not draw the manga."
Agua's face formed a dark glare at the Hyuga. "I know you didn't, what I'm complaining about is the fact that you died! Do you realise that you could have thrown a dead body in the way so that no one awesome got killed right?"
"Do not be so trivial… I did not have time to hurl a carcass to save Hinata-sama… and that would be disrespectful to the one that passed on."
"Well you could've used your spin, spin attack when you jumped in front of her!"
Neji went to continue speaking but he then paused at the weird vibe he was getting. He repeated the words in his head and gave a strange look to the author. "My spin, spin?"
"Yeah!"She smiled brightly, as if she didn't say anything wrong.
It took a moment for Neji to figure out what she was saying, and boy… it made her sound stupid. "Do you mean my Kaiten?"
"Yeah! Your spin, spin attack!"
"…"
"…"
"I did not have enough time… for my Kaiten – I would've been impaled along with Hinata-sama if I tried it."
"Then you should've used you're Fist of Fury!"
"I do not own such an attack, that's Sakamoto Mari's attack. You're Original Character."
"Oh yeah… my bad… then you should've used Kanjo-ji!"
"Still Mari's."
"Maruchikara?"
"That's Chieko's"
"Chidori?"
"Kakashi-sensei's."
"Final Flash?"
"Now you're referencing from Dragon Ball Z."
"Says the guy who turned into a super saiyan in Naruto SD of the Christmas episode."
How did this get so far off track from an introduction to Dragon Ball Z?
"…"
"…"
"Well don't you suck?"
"…"
Hers suddenly shone out in excitement at the thought of a new idea, "Come on now… it was just some wood stabbed into the middle of your chest… I mean Kenpachi got stabbed in the throat by Unohana… and he was still living."
Neji rolled his eyes. If he knew that he was going to end like this in death, then he might as well thrown the dead body to save Hinata and Naruto. "Maybe you forgot to mention that Bleach can get the worst of injuries and still live."
Agua snarled viciously at the deceased man. "Hey, I'm trying to come up with ideas that could've saved your life! It's not my fault that you're my second favourite character in the damn manga! It's yours because of your damn freaking story and your character! You should've stayed an ass so I didn't care about you!"
"Hn."
"Oh don't you DARE 'hn' me!"
"Mmmm hm."
"Oh you're a real fucking prick when you wanna be!"
The Hyuga smirked as Agua raged about. No wonder Shikamaru said girls were troublesome, they had terrible mood swings. At least Tenten wasn't this bad.
"Fine…" Agua seethed, smirking darkly at Neji. He saw the evil glint in her eye and opened his mouth to say something but it was already too late. She clicked her fingers and with a poof, Neji was wearing a pink frilly dress. "It looks better on you than it does on me."
"AGUA!" He snapped, trying to pull off the disgusting itchy dress. "Why is it stuck on me?"
"Easy." The author folded her arms and glared down at him. Neji gave a confused face at her sudden height growth, "As the author of this story, I can make you do whatever I want." She then turned to the screen and smiled cheerfully at the readers, yes especially you,"And this is how I like to break the fourth wall."
"I seriously do– love Tenten…"Neji widened his eyes in horror and sent a dark glare to Agua. She shrank back down to her original height and grinned in excitement.
"I knew it… IN YOUR FACE LEETEN AND NEJIHINA FANS! HAHAHA!" She quickly paused and turned to the screen again with a sincere smile, "No offense to those who like either LeeTen or NejiHina, I just happen to like NejiTen." A cough was let out and she covered her mouth. "Obsessed with Nejiten..."
"You are insane." He hissed, standing up dramatically with the frilly dress still on him. Now he was definitely going to regret jumping in front of Hinata. Why didn't time pause just for a minute just to think of the afterlife? He had been angsting on the Main family and not once did he think how would it be like to be stuck with this girl?
No, all Neji wanted to do was fly freely, but now he had to pay the price by being stuck with a girl that's about five centimetres shorter than him that can easily force him into a dress. If anything, he was still trapped in the world of fanfiction dot net.
A/n: Wow… that had not gone the way that I planned it. Maybe I should write a second chapter and bring in more dead people… but that was fun… Now I can continue with a clear conscience… :)
Nah I'm kidding, but you guys know the drill – if you hate this story go back and whine about it to someone who cares or if you like it, review, favour or possibly follow. I'm not sure if I should add another chapter… that was random writing this. If I do then I'll write another when I'm in the mood for it
