So. Yeah. I've begun a new story. This is based on a play Rory the Roman, our friend and I did at Guides. Guess who I was! XD

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or Doctor Who. However, to right this wrong, I am plotting world domination.

Pairings: USUK, DoctorxSomeone, hopefully Rory... Possible PruCan/RusCan, one-sided FrancexEveryone, possible GerIta, possible Spamano.

Chapter 1: Arthur/Alice

I walked through my large house, quietly humming to myself. I was bored, my boyfriend Alfred was at a meeting, and I was tired. I didn't understand why it was so stuffy, though. All the windows were open. Suddenly, I heard a noise from upstairs. Maybe Alfred was back and came to surprise me. It wouldn't be the first time he came through the window. I went to investigate, tiptoeing into our bedroom.

Suddenly, I was zapped by some unknown thing. My body morphed into strange shapes painfully. I staggered back, moaning and screaming. "Bloody hell! My vital regions!"

The last thing I remember before blacking out was a small fuzzy noise, like the static on a radio, and I knew that I was alone.

When I awoke, I felt distinctly different. My hair was heavier on my head, and I felt strange in my vital regions. I opened my eyes to be greeted by blurriness. "Bloody hell… What the hell just happened?"

I sat up, feeling slightly dizzy. Then I looked down. My eyesight didn't improve, and at that moment, I felt really queasy.

I had breasts.

"What the hell?" I yelled, loud enough for the whole of London to hear me.

I jumped up and ran into my room. Alfred's spare glasses were on the desk, and I pulled them on. My eyesight was mostly corrected now. I looked down again. Damn, I really was a girl. I walked over to the wardrobe to find clothes that fitted. And if you're wondering why I had women's clothes in my and my boyfriend's wardrobe, I will not answer. Now I was dressed in a longish blue dress, with a white apron that was patched in a couple of places. My now long hair was in bunches and I looked completely unlike before. Well, except for the eyebrows. They were still bushy and thick. I doubted that those would ever change. With all the new changes, I felt like I really needed a cup of tea.

As soon as I put the kettle on, I wrestled with it temporarily due to my new form and finger length. Would Alfred still like me as a girl? I remember that he once told me that he would never leave me for some woman, the first reason being that he loved me, and the second being that women sucked. I replied, "On what?"

There was a ring on the doorbell, and I was alerted out of my Alfred-caused stupor. I opened the door, just a tiny crack, and gulped.

"For God's sake, why you?"

"Hello, Kirkland!"

The man standing outside my door had a ridiculously large hairstyle and a bow tie. A Scottish girl was standing beside him, wearing very little. She was ginger.

"You would turn up on my doorstep with one of my brother's siblings, wouldn't you?" I grumbled. "Come on in."

"Well, before you ask, you appear to have a capricious amount of telepathic coils in your attic and around your house. This technically means that-"

"There is an alien in my house?"

"Yep!" the Doctor grinned obliviously. He was worse than Alfred sometimes. A time-and-space travelling alien who happened to be an honorary Brit. This technically made him one of my citizens, despite the fact that he was a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey.

I rolled my eyes as I poured our tea. The Doctor was eating a Jammy Dodger. He got through them like burgers. Curse that American idiot! Everything reminded me of him!

He looked up at me. "Something looks a little off about you. I don' know if it's just the new clothes or what…"

I hit him with a nearby broom that was within easy reach. "Maybe the fact that I've just been shot by some weird gender-changing alien?"

"Ah! That's it"

His new companion, Amy Pond, stared at me. "So you're a man, but you have women's clothing in your house. Is it your girlfriend's?"

I blushed furiously. The Doctor came to my defence. "Pond! Art-Alice has a boyfriend! He also happens to be Eng-"

"Shut up!" I snapped. "I'll tell her my personal details once I'm sure that she will keep them an absolute secret, and not at all if possible!"

I stood up and strode out of the room.

"Wait! Alice!" he cried. I pulled my mobile phone out of my pocket and tapped in a random number.

"Bonjour? Ah, l'Angleterre!"

I cursed. I'd accidentally called that bloody frog! "Shut up, Frog! I'm only calling you because I can't call Alfred."

"Angleterre? Why do you sound so feminine?"

"YOU FOOL! MAKE AN EDUCATED BLOODY GUESS!"

"…Yes!"

…Why was I already regretting this?