Okay this story doesn't really have a plot so be warned for plotless crack with a not-really-an-ending.


Marmite Lovin'

Benjamin sat at his usual lunch table, waiting for his friends to hurry up and join him. The only reason he was here first is he packed his own lunch this morning instead of waiting in line for some inedible glob that the school insisted was food, unlike his twin brother Keith who was a lazy ass that normally didn't wake up until ten minutes before classes started, but that's beside the point. The point is Benjamin was bored outta his mind waiting for someone to join him, Hell he'd even be happy for Alfred to join him!..On second thought…no. No he wouldn't He was pretty sure Alfred still wasn't over that whole 'Six' thing and to be honest, Benjamin wasn't exactly willing to put it to the test. Benjamin sighed, tapping his spoon against the tabletop while looking around boredly. Finally a tray smacked down next to him and Benjamin looked up to find himself nose to nose with his extremely annoying, extremely Australian twin brother Keith.

Now you may be wondering 'Why is Keith Australian and Benjamin a New Zealander if they are twins?' long story short- divorce. And not one of those nice divorces where your parents are still friends and meet up every once and a while for coffee, no this was one of those divorces where your parents can't stand each other so much, one of them left the country. The one who left was their mother Sheila, who went back to her homeland Australia, taking Keith with her. Benjamin and Keith were only three at the time so they didn't really understand what was going on. The only reason they we reunited right now is because Benjamin applied for a boarding school in America so that he could hopefully get better chances with a good college and find a good Agricultural Major and by some random coincidence, Keith had been sent to the same school (Apparently because he had been acting up at his old one and had gotten expelled). And because the staff had found out they were twins, they had the bright idea of putting them in the same room.

Now enough about their personal life and back to the story. Keith grinned down at his shorter twin and ruffled his hair.

"G'day Benji!" he smirked. Benjamin scowled at him.

"It's Benjamin, not Benji Roo-Rooter" he spat.

"Sheep-shagger" Keith immediately responded, not losing the smirk and wrapped his arm around Benjamin.

"Get off Poaka" Benjamin growled, pushing his arm off. Keith pouted, pretending to be insulted.

"I am not a pig Benji" Immediately after saying that he tore into his ham and cheese sandwich violently, effectively ruining his last sentence.

"Try eating with your mouth closed next time" Arthur said as he slid into the seat across from them, wrinkling his nose in disgust. Benjamin immediately turned his attention to Arthur, his eyes lighting up with excitement.

"Is Owen here?" He asked, referring to Arthur's brother and his current fixation. Keith rolled his eyes, apparently used to the Kiwi's totally not creepy obsession with the Welsh boy.

"Not today" Arthur replied "He's visiting Scott for a week"

"Aww" Benjamin pouted and looked down at his lunch before pulling out his favourite thing-besides lamb chops with mint sauce…mmmm…. Anyway, Benjamin stuck his spoon in the container and pulled out a spoonful that he began to lick distractedly.

"Eww Benji what the hell is that? It looks like something Arthur would make!" Keith complained, wrinkling his nose.

"Hey!" Arthur protested, Keith glanced over at him.

"Oh no offense Arthur" Arthur just glared at him; Keith turned his attention back to Benjamin's lunch "seriously mate what the hell is that?" Benjamin glanced over at him.

"What? Its Marmite, haven't you heard of it?" He asked, sticking his spoon back in the red and yellow container.

"That stuff Dad used to stick on crackers with cheese?" Keith asked "That really strong stuff made from yeast?"

"That's the one" Benjamin grinned, sticking another spoonful in his mouth "Want some?" He offered, sticking it under his brother's nose. Keith recoiled from the strong smell.

"Gross! How can you eat that stuff, straight out of the container like that?" He frowned, pushing the black preservative away. Benjamin shrugged and held it out to Arthur.

"Your loss Keith, you want some Arthur?" Arthur shook his head as well, leaning back.

"Thanks but no thanks" He politely declined; Benjamin just took it back and scooped out another spoonful.

"Oh well, more for me" he grinned as he stuck the spoon in his mouth.


This belongs in the same 'verse as 'Sex More Hours' because I like that story and wanted to expand on it. In case you don't know what it is, Marmite is a very strong black sandwich/toast/crackers spread that is made from mainly yeast. It is very popular in NZ, so popular in fact that when the Marmite factory had to be rebuilt after the Christchurch earthquake and there was no Marmite being made, the country went into a 'Marmageddon' because we had run out of Marmite. Marmite is very strong so I don't recommend eating it out of the container like Benjamin does in this fic although you can if you want.

Keith-Australia, Owen-Wales btw and 'Poaka' Means pig in Te Reo Maori.

Anyways enjoy this random ass fic that came outta nowhere! ~Darky out!