I may have posted this already in fanfic, but I can't find it right now... if it's already up on fanfic, tell me where so I can delete it from there.
In Uncle Scrooge #340,the Launchpad McQuack story,"The Hardware Hardener", this is what really happened: One day, Mr. McDuck and I got into an argument. "
The First Time...
In Uncle Scrooge #340, the Launchpad McQuack story,"The Hardware Hardener", this is what really happened:
One day, Mr. McDuck and I got into an argument.
"Enough! Stop saying Launchpad crashes planes! You know better than I do that isn't true! You're not dumb enough to get into a plane flown by someone who doesn't know what he's doing! You're not making Launchpad look dumb by saying he crashes planes! You're making YOU look dumb!" I yelled, having lost my rotten temper.
"I'll tell you what. See this road leading to my mansion? It has trees on either side of it, but it's just barely wide enough for a plane to land on. Just barely. My mansion is at the end of it." Mr. McDuck began.
" But it's just long enough for a plane to land on- just barely. If Launchpad can land a plane he builds himself on that road without touching the trees or my mansion, I'll stop saying he crashes planes. If not, he loses his job. For keeps. Deal?" Mr. McDuck wagered, to shut me up.
I looked at Launchpad. he nodded. Knowing Launchpad could do it, I said: "Deal." (1)
So Launchpad went to the junkyard and gathered and paid for- well, junk- old tires, car seats, a rowboat, a steering wheel, etc and actually made a working plane out of it. (2)
Then he landed the plane - the Dump Gump (3)on the airfield as if it was easy. As if anybody could do it. Mr. McDuck hated to admit it, but he was impressed. Unfortunately, he was not the only one. Flintheart Glomgold had a spy lurking around who took a videotape of this feat and bought the film to Flintheart.
A few days later, Launchpad was readying the plane for Mr. McDuck when Flintheart Glomgold came by.
"What are YOU doing here?" Mr. McDuck yelled at Flintheart.
"Hello, old enemy. I did not come here to talk to YOU. I came here to talk to HIM" said Flintheart, indictating Launchpad.
"Go away. You're making me look bad in front of the boss. I said NO, and that's final. So scram. And stay scrammed." Launchpad said.
"AH! But why is he your boss? He doesn't pay you what you are worth. He yells at you for nothing. I would pay you what your worth- and I would not yell at you." Flintheart said.
"What's going on here?! What's the meaning of all this?" Mr. McDuck asked.
"I guess I should have told you, Mr. McDuck. Flintheart offered me a job- but I turned him down flat, and I thought that was the end of it." Launchpad said.
FLINTHEART offered you a job- as a PILOT?" Mr. McDuck yelled.
"Just because YOU don't know a good thing when you've got it in your hands doesn't mean I'M that dumb." Flintheart sneered.
'Well, I don't believe your promises and I wouldn't work for you if I did! Not if were the last zillionaire on Earth! So shoo!" Launchpad shouted at Flintheart.
"Come now, I've seen what you can do. I saw you land on that road leading to McDuck's mansion- I could use a pilot with skills like that. Practically nobody else is skilled enough to land on that joke for an airstrip! It's oblivious to me, now that McDuck's been lying when he says you crash planes- he probably wanted to prevent me from hiring you away- and from having to pay you properly, of course." Flintheart said.
" I built that junk plane- so I could of made it smaller- with shorter wings- to make landing it easier. I choose when to land- I could of picked a time with perfect conditions, to make landing easier. I only had to do it once- to shut Mr. McDuck up, once and for all. I might even get a raise." Launchpad said.
"Bah! I should have know it was a fluke! Anybody stupid enough to go on working for Scoogie, here, when I'm offering him three times as much...! I guess the law of averages says you have to get lucky once in a while." Flintheart said.
I knew that was sour grapes on Flintheart's side, but I said nothing.
" Launchpad, that junk plane of yours was no smaller than a normal plane. With normal size wings and you landed when I told you to land." Mr. McDuck said, making it a question.
" I said I COULD of done those things. I didn't say I HAD done those things. Luckily, Flintheart is so dishonest, it was easy to make him think I tricked you. He thinks I told HIM the truth to get rid of him, and because it's too late for you to go back on your promise not to yell at me for crashing anymore." Launchpad said.
The End.
(1)In Uncle Scrooge #340,the Launchpad McQuack story,"The Hardware Hardener" Mr. McDuck expected Launchpad to land on the described airstrip all the time. OK, so in the comic, there were only trees on ONE side of the airstrip, not both.
But considering Launchpad's alleged reputation for crashing planes? You know how few pilots are good enough to land on that kind of "airstrip" successfully EVEN ONCE? Or how much money they are paid? Looks like even Disney doesn't REALLY believe that Launchpad crashes planes. And I noticed THEY had Launchpad fly a plane its used-plane vendor never thought would get higher than his waist. That's what gets me, they KNOW Launchpad a great pilot and not stupid, either. They just won't ADMIT it.
(2) Idea stolen from the book "Bored- nothing to do" LOVE to watch two boys TRY to build and fly a junk-plane. With a cell-phone in hand, with "911" on speed-dial, of course.
(3)Named after the Gump-thing from Baum's "Land of Oz")
Double or Nothing
by Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.
Another story based on Uncle Scrooge 340 (2005) "The Hardware Hardener" (also referred to as "Better late than never".)
More closely based, this time.
Mr. McDuck was at his mansion, impatiently waiting for Launchpad to arrive. Mr. McDuck kept glancing at his watch. He was almost hoping Launchpad would be late for a change, giving him, Mr. McDuck, an excuse to yell at Launchpad.
It's not that Mr. McDuck likes yelling or getting mad. It just bugs him that Launchpad isn't that interested in money. This made Mr. McDuck think Launchpad is stupid. (NOT!)
Launchpad knows nada about stocks, bonds, or finance. But he's isn't the slightest bit stupid, which Mr. McDuck is FINALLY beginning to realize. It just bugs people when something of vital importance to them is unimportant to someone else.
Launchpad is going to be late!" Mr. McDuck muttered.
Then he first heard, then saw Launchpad's plane arriving.
"Hmpf! Here he comes! Right on time. As always." Mr. McDuck snorted.
Mr. McDuck watched as Launchpad approached the small runway right next to the Mansion. As always, since Mr. McDuck's scared silly of flying (Don't tell him I said that! He'll never admit that!)Mr. McDuck got nervous as Launchpad started landing his plane.
Don't ask stupid questions like why he doesn't build a longer runway further from the Mansion, you'd think it be worth the money in less worry and aggravation.
He needed have worried. Launchpad landed just fine.
"It's OK, Mr. McDee. I landed perfectly- as always!" Launchpad said, seeing Mr. McDee pulling feathers from his head. (1)
"As always, huh?" Mr. McDuck.
"Except for circumstances beyond my control, like weather and bad guys? Yup." Launchpad replied.
"Would you like to make a little friendly wager on that? You've been bugging me for a raise lately. You once landed a plane you made out of junk. There's an airplane junkyard in Duckburg. Buy one of their pieces of junk planes and land it perfectly and you get that raise. Until then, you shut up about it." Mr. McDuck said.
"Double or nothing, then? If I land perfectly, I get paid twice my current salary. If not, I shut up." Launchpad offered.
"By rights, I should fire you if you lose..." Mr. McDuck began.
"Mr. McDee, do you WANT to fire me? Still?" Launchpad asked, hoping he had gotten THAT far in gaining Mr. McDuck's respect.
"Welll....No. Not any more. OK, OK, I never wanted to. I just have a rotten temper, that's all. You're around so much; I got into the bad habit of using you as a scapegoat." Mr. McDuck admitted.
"Then why the bet?" Launchpad asked.
"Because you won the last bet! To land a plane you built out of junk safely on my driveway..." Mr. McDuck screamed.
"And you're trying to win this bet, that I land a plane I buy at an airplane junkyard perfectly, to get even." Launchpad stated.
"Yes." Mr. McDuck said.
()()Is it just possible Mr. McDuck thinks I deserve a raise and this is as close as he can come to ADMITING that?()() Launchpad asked himself.
"OK. I'm game. Deal." Launchpad said.
And they shook on it.
So Launchpad went out to the airplane junkyard and talked to the Used Plane Salesdog. Who tried to sell Launchpad a reconditioned plane, a wreck that had been rebuilt.
"I need a wrecked plane that's a piece of junk to win a bet." Launchpad explained.
"I have just the piece of junk!" the salesdog replied.
"It has to be pretty bad." Launchpad said.
The salesdog showed him an old wreck of a plane.
"Bad enough?" the salesdog asked.
"Maybe too bad." Launchpad replied.
But he looked it over, saw that the damage was mostly cosmetic and the rest wasn't anything he couldn't fix. So he bought it. And flew it home, which totally astonished the salesdog.
"Never thought anybody could get that piece of junk to fly again." the salesdog said admiringly.
Launchpad flew it home to his hanger. I greeted him and we kissed.
"What's with that overgrown planter you managed to fly home?" I asked.
"I made a bet with Mr. McDee. I land this plane perfectly and I get paid twice my current salary." Launchpad replied. "but he never said that I couldn't fix it up first."
"Can I help? Excuse me for saying so, but I think you're going to need all the help you can get. I barely recognize that as a plane." I asked.
"Sure." Launchpad said, highly pleased.
We got to work. It took quite a while, but we got the plane working perfectly once more.
"It still looks pretty bad." I said.
We had not repaired the cosmetic damage.
"Good. If it looks too good, I won't win the bet. Besides, Mr. McDee will lose patience if I take much longer. I better win that bet while the offer's still open." Launchpad replied.
"Good luck, dearest one." I wished.
We kissed again and Launchpad waved goodbye and got into the fixed up plane.
He flew it toward Mr. McDuck's mansion. And landed it, perfectly.
"Well? Do I get that raise?" Launchpad asked.
"Sigh. Yes. A deal is a deal." Mr. McDuck replied.
The End.
(1) The equivalent of us pulling our hair out.