Shattered Tears
Linna Celestea Black

Prologue

Obscurity, tears, ragged sheets, hacked walls, ruined windows and a drenched, torn girl…all these were only the beginning of Leah's acts, her effects, her abilities.

But it wasn't her room…in fact; it was some rundown shack down the south of New York State. Leah had her own reasons for running away, and it didn't exactly involve the names Sam Uley or Emily Young…actually, it had more to do with a certain Jacob Black.

Surely the girl hadn't been attacked or insulted by Jacob…had she? Or did he say something about Sam, or mention something else to do with the Cullens'?

No, none of these reasons were even close to why Leah Clearwater, the angered, tall beauty was miles away from home, crying in an empty shack, screaming and tearing everything apart. None of these damned reasons even mattered to Leah. Not Sam, not the Cullens…not even her own family.

It was the fact that Jacob, her strong-willed, handsome Alpha – who once hate the thought – had imprinted…on a vampire spawn…and honestly, she wasn't sure who the hate the most…fate, the spawn, or herself, because really…

She had the chance. She had the chance to tell him about what he was to her, and to tell him to not forget her, to not imprint, as much as his destiny forced him to. She had the chance to hold him and kiss him and stare into his eyes, days and nights on end.

But she didn't. It was as simple as that.

Leah Clearwater, the girl who fought for everything she wanted, did everything she could, always tried her hardest, was to afraid to tell Jacob Black how she truly felt.

And now here she was, in a rundown, disgusting shack, bawling her eyes out, hoping that someone, anyone, would come back for her…come looking for her and reassuring her that the monster was just a dream she had and was never there, and Jacob was still looking for her, or at least for Jacob to find her and say something!

All just once…to finally admit the truth and not have him stare at her with frightened – or maybe even angry – eyes for the wrong reasons. If he had to act that way, then so be it…but only if he did because of his own feelings, because he really didn't love her.

Not because fucking fate forced him with a fucking baby. Yes, a child, a newborn child in fact! And he had imprinted, letting his heart and soul, fall for her…no, it. And to think that she protected it and it's mother, whom Jacob once loved.

She had seen inside his head many times, and she was the only one who could break through his wall of protection, something that he had finally mastered. He had one, true love, and that was Bella and Leah couldn't hate her for that. He loved Bella… but not because he imprinted on her, but because he truly loved her, and now, he had to imprint on the thing that Bella had died for…

"All for a child…am I really that terrible?" she whispered to herself, and felt another dry tear slip down her cheek. Leah had disappeared for days, not eating, drinking, or even thinking. She went all instinct in this shut room and torn everything to shreds, hoping to let out all that anger.

And she did…all that anger and angst that was built up inside of her had finally evaporated. The beautiful werewolf had finally turned into an instinctive, bloody animal, searching for nothing but the strength to keep on fighting, and to finally go back.

She wanted to continue to cry, to feel her body die, day by day, tearing the shack down limb from limb and let it fall above her, crushing her to death, or just to starve herself, having neither water nor food. She wanted to stay isolated and forget everything, to become more of an animal than ever, just like Jacob did…

But right now, the only thing she could possibly do, was to go back…never to cry again or to yell at someone. Never to smile and never to laugh…not even to think…

All she wanted to do right now, was to go back to La Push and Forks and show Jacob and everyone else who she had become, and to prove to them that the old Leah was gone, and to show Jacob that she could live on without him, as much as she yearned for him everday.

Leah wanted to stand up on the top of a cliff, the waves smashing the bottom, and the wind brushing her long, black hair, staring at the sunset but neither feeling the bliss nor the pain.

All Leah really wanted, was to go back home, a new person, a new being, letting her old life disappear and to start anew, and prove that a girl could be a werewolf, and a great one at that. She'd be less annoying than Paul, she had promised that, and she wouldn't yell or mock, but stand silently in the background and listen to Sam's orders, not Jacob's. Sam was her Alpha, and it was going to stay that way.

Jacob didn't matter anymore…he was just another bloodsucker, another Cullen just waiting to happen, but not in the way the other's did. He would join their family once it grew old enough, and it was possible that they would move to Alaska by then, and if that did happen…Leah would hate every cell in his body.

She wanted to change her whole life to work out her way, and to be perfect for her, without even bothering to keep Jacob in mind. No one mattered to her anymore, not even her own mother and brother. Sue had Seth, and Seth was strong enough…

No more broken windows, crushed walls, shredded sheets…no more tears and screams and smiles and laughs…no more nothing!

Leah wanted to be the new, perfect girl that no one hated but no one loved.

And you know what?

She was going to succeed with it too…

Author's Notes:

Yeah I know this is some messed up shit, but still, I really wanted to portray Leah differently. We've all seen her angry side, and part of her depressed side, but have we ever really seen her angered/depressed side, together? She's seen having both emotions at different points, and "Shattered Tears" is one of my darker Blackwater fics. I really wanted to put this up last night, but because of the fact that FF was temporarily shut down and that there was like 400 new stories put up, I didn't want it to be a lost story that no one saw.

So here it is, an angsty-romance by yours truly! I do realise that Leah is being a bit self-centered, and I'm being repetitive, but that was kind of the point. Thank you to all reviewers to "Tempting Confessions" and for "Reminiscences of Dawn". My other story "Infinite Moonlight" and "Breakaway" should be up soon as well.

Sincerely,

Linna Celestea Black :)

(Call me LC, or just Linna.)