AUTHORS NOTE: So revision was KILLING me so I decided to let off my tensions in writing fanfiction which is OBVIOUSLY going to help me pass my exam but me, who cares?! I'm also going home this weekend so I'm all hyper and excited *dances* This might not make you excited but I hope you enjoy all the same!
DISCLAIMER: I'm still too poor to buy them *sniffles*
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[Moving On]
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He sat in his empty bedroom, the smell of perfume the only thing capturing his attention as he rested his head in the palm of his hands. Had it been her? He found himself thinking. Or had it been him? HE didn't know what had drawn to the end of their relationship but he sensed that it might have something to do with all the little things he hadn't done like remembering their anniversary or even her birthday, which he normally did remember! He knew that he had to try on move like she had told him but he knew he couldn't. Even just imagining being someone else's man made him feel as if he was being unfaithful to her!
He's tried over a million times to get her off his mind. He wanted rid of the cute sleeping image he had, the one where she was curled up on his chest, her hand under her face as she rested on it lightly. He wanted to erase the image of her smiling face that night he had taken her dancing. He could still see the twinkle in her eyes when he had twirled her around, the skirt to her dress twirling with her and he could still remember how his throat had gone dry at the pure beauty of it. He tried to forget her beautiful face as she reached the climax at the end of their lovemaking. He tried but he realised that was the one image that wanted to stay with him the most because it was when he believed she was at her most beautiful.
He remembered how she had simply sneered that it would be easy for him to move on because he'd done it so many girls beforehand. He wanted to argue that those girls were different! Those girls hadn't been his beautiful girl, the one that he loved more than life itself! He had just reacted as harshly and told her that maybe he would be but he had been lying. She had no idea how hard it was for him to simply smile through his pain and say goodbye because he had long since decided that it might be the best for her.
It wasn't over. Well not to him anymore. He still had so much faith in them and he still wanted to believe that one day, she'd forgive him or she'd realise that she wanted to be with him. He needed her in his life. She was his weakness, his strength and his addiction! It had long since hit him that without her, he didn't make much sense! He knew that without her, he didn't have much hope for survival!
It's not as easy for him as it was for her. She had literally walked away and had applied for a transferral. Their boss had known better to ask any questions and granted the request without even a murmur even though he knew he was losing a good friend and detective. When he'd found out, he had literally left the building and punched a wall. It was all he could do so not to break down in to tears. He wanted to talk to her. He needed to explain that he loved her and wanted her in his arms. He realised that this wasn't as easy as she had said it would be. He didn't know what he was meant to do without her love!
He remembered the night he had gone to her house but found himself frozen. The curtains were drawn and the lights on so he could see her but at the same time, he could see another man. He realised it had obviously been easy for her to move on. It wouldn't be for a long time until he'd realise that the man in the house was their friend trying to convince her to stay. He had fought back the urge to throw a rock at the window and just left.
It wasn't easy saying goodbye but as he sat in his bedroom, his head resting in his hands and her perfume being the only thing he smelt, he realised that sometimes it was one of the easiest things to do when you were saying it to yourself rather than to someone else. He'd never felt so alone in a long time and he doubted anything would make him feel the same again. He knew he had to move on because it was what she wanted.
He sighed as he fell back on his bed, bitter tears falling from his eyes as he thought of her moving on and finding it so damned easy.