What Could Have Been
-Welcome to my deepest thoughts… Jacob/Bella-
If Bella never met her Edward, what could have happened between us? Would she feel the same way as I have, before I even met little Renesmee? I still wonder and wander through the past that could have been.
Was there a problem with me?
I never considered myself a problem, though I used to regard Edward as the problem. I used to think of him as a snake that would do anything just for a meal. But I have to admit, he took good care of Bella. Maybe I was the problem. Maybe I was the one who hindered Bella from her happiness.
Would there be everlasting happiness?
The feeling that used to envelop me was that of happiness when I met her, although loving her was like enduring through hell. All those sufferings rewarded me with nothing; I didn't have her. But was I happy with imprinting on Renesmee, the girl whom I have never met?
Will I be someone better than Edward?
I have asked that question once, and I answered yes. I guess that wasn't my real answer. Perhaps I only said that because I was afraid; but afraid of what, the truth? Maybe, however I'm never going to admit that.
Will she love me the way she loved him?
I have had a lot of difficulties in answering that question; I suppose that question will always remain unanswered.
"Jacob…Jacob…wake up!"
That angelic voice returned me to Earth. It belonged to Renesmee, though sometimes I had wished it was Bella's.