Love. Love hurts. That's why I am the way I am. Alone. Depressed. Insane. Because of him.
He loved me and I loved him. He loved me, at least, until she came. He left me and stood by as she threw me out. So I left him. I am on my own now.
I'm lost in my memories, wondering where I went wrong. I realize it was the day I fell in love with him. That was the day. The day I threw everything away to be with him. The day I made the biggest mistake of my life. To love. I remember my dead mother's words… One day you will find a cat that will do anything for you…he will sacrifice himself to protect you.
How could I have been so stupid. To be blind. To see him as the perfect one, though he was not. He was not. Never will be. And I have his kits. He has his father's eyes. And she has his spirit. I love them, though not their father.
They knew a loving father, until he abandoned us. Now they know a treacherous, selfish fox-heart as their father. I feel terrible, that they have to go through this and have a fox-heart for a father. That I can't help them, even as they starve to death. I'm in my own world.
A world where I don't care about any cat. That's when I vowed to never care about another cat again.