A/N This is my first stab at writing any type of fan fiction, or anything that I have really let others read. Please forgive my mistakes and inconsistencies (if any). Constructive criticism is more than welcome.

-Everything book 1-8 is assumed.

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"1 more hour",

"1 more hour and I'll be home soaking in the tub, washing the stink of grease and stale beer outta my hair" I felt my whole body relax at the thought. This was my fifth shift in a row and today was a double. I'm still trying to recover financially from my little Rhodes "vacation". And even though my feet ache and throb like they have their own heartbeats, Holly had asked me to cover her shift for her little boy's school play. I could hardly say no to that. Besides, I like Holly and her son. She's one of the few people in Bon Temps that didn't treat me like "Crazy Sookie".

I was all the more crazier now that I had thrown my hand in with the local Supe population. (Yeah, like I had a choice in that). My gift, or curse, whatever you wanna call it, had made me a pariah (word of the day) to everyone I had known my whole life. But, it made me valuable, even special, to the Supes. Of course being "special" to them usually came tied to a mess of hot water. But I was starting to think that I preferred THAT to the way my own human kind treated me most days. "Crazy Sookie" indeed.

I have worked at Merlotte's for a good long time and Sam has been a great boss to me and an even better friend. For that reason alone (ok, also because Gran would've smacked my bottom with a rolling pin for being anything less than gracious and "pleasing") I could never let on that I was growing tired, so tired, of slinging chicken baskets every night.

I was also getting tired of keeping my shields up all the the time. Last week, I made the mistake of letting my shields down when one of my old high school teachers stopped by. Ms. Mayweather had to be 100 years old if she was a day, she was old when she taught my English class. As I made my way over, I dropped my shields to see if she'd remember me.

"Can't swing a damn cat in this town these days without hitting a vampire whore, who didn't know that Sookie Stackhouse would end up right at the top of that line."

I quickly shut off my mind to keep from hearing the rest. Ms. Mayweather in her delicate purple flowered dress, with her falling down knee high stockings and lovely wrinkled face had just been more cruel to me in her head than most people dare to out loud (with the exception of my own brother or maybe Arlene since she had fallen in with the FoTS). I couldn't do anything but smile and take her order.

That's all I've ever been able to do is just smile and take it. At least one bright spot about meeting Bill Compton is that he helped me learn to control my telepathy. Maybe there were more bright spots about meeting Bill Compton, but right now I was not in the mood to count them or debate them. No, I have had quite enough of the vampire love triangle these past few months. Especially since one of the sides of the triangle has been noticeably absent from the equation.

Eric

I get it, I get, big vampire takeover but not even a phone call? And this blood bond thing, I'm still trying to figure that one out. Eric told me that he was the lesser of two evils and I believe that. What I don't believe is my own emotions about it and since then. There are times when I feel so confused, so frustrated and then all I have to do is think of Eric and I'm more at peace than I have ever been. Is that me? Is it him? He told me we may be able to feel each other and that much was proven when I rescued him and the new King from Sophie-Anne's former body guard. But so far the "bond" in question had only been helpful if one of us were in in trouble not just to send warm fuzzies. If he had the power to make me feel good from a safe distance, that probably meant he could make me feel real bad too. That's a can of worms I may not want to open. If he would pick up the phone and call, I'd work up the courage to ask him, so long as it didn't trigger,"the talk".

Just when I thought I was about go insane from thoughts racing through my head (and this time they were all mine) a voice shook me back to the here and now,

"Sookie, you alright girl?" It was Sam with that gentle concern that was always present and very rarely if ever crossed the line into prodding.

"I'm fine Sam, just a little tired tonight, you caught me daydreaming about a bubble bath." I smiled innocently, not sure if the weariness that I had managed to show.

"Why don't you take off Sook, there's only one table left to clear and it's Andy's. You've been working a lot lately and you've got a few days off coming to you after tonight and I want you to take 'em. I know you don't wanna talk to me about your money situation, but Sookie, if you need money or a raise"...his voice trailed off.

Sam was and always had been a gentleman to me, even though he had not so secret anymore feelings for me, he had never acted as anything other than the true southern gentleman that he was. Even when I had chosen Bill over him and now had conflicting emotions toward a certain blond viking vision, he still would give me anything I asked.

I rushed to hug him. "Sam Merlotte, you are a wonderful man and someday you are going to meet a woman who deserves you." I kissed him quickly on the cheek, his days worth of red-brown stubble tickling my lips and backed away giggling. He flushed with embarrassment and swatted at me playfully with a bar towel.

"Well, get outta here then" he laughed. But my back was already toward him and heading to his office to collect my things.

******************

8:30pm

The parking lot was nearly empty as I made my way over to my car and unlocked it with a beep of the key pad. I'd never owned anything that you didn't have to stick the key in the lock and turn before Tara all but gave me this car. To think, my one "ritzy" thing almost ruined by more vampires. I made a small huff with my breath and leaned against the car to admire Tray Dawson's handy work. It was difficult to see under the sliver of crescent moon, but I knew. If you didn't know that I had used my car to kill a centuries old vampire to save the life of a millenia old one who just may or may not be the love of my life , well you just wouldn't want to know anyway.

I turned to open the door when I heard a familiar voice.

"Sookie, I was just coming to see you.' I turned to find Pam, Eric's second in command, standing less than two feet away with a smile (fang-less) on her beautiful face and in her very manicured hands a collection of DVD's. She seemed genuinely happy.

"Umm, Hey Pam", I stuttered. I found that I was actually happy to see her. Eric may be too busy or too big for his britches to break down and come visit me,(or maybe he was avoiding "the talk' as much as I was) but at least he sent Pam. At first I was annoyed that he felt the need to send her to keep tabs on me. But the truth is, I like Pam. And whether by Eric's insistence or not, Pam and I had become friends. Take that "Crazy Sookie" proclaimers, my two best friends are a powerful witch who turns her boyfriends into fat house cats and a 200 year old Victorian, Barbie Doll from Hell vampire, so HA!

Pam's smile faded a few notches, "You forgot, girls night?" The disappointment was palpable as she dropped her requiste DVD collection full of chick flicks to her side.

"Don't be silly, Pam, of course I didn't forget," I lied. Good thing vamps can't read my mind either, I'd really hate to hurt Pam's feelings. "i just figured I rush to the store to pick up some drinks and snacks and take a quick shower."

Pam almost squealed with delight, "Snacks are on me" as she produced a white plastic sack filled to the brim with empty yet satisfying calories. I'll be damned, Pam stopped at the Quik Mart. Even though vampires were now "out of the coffin" so to speak and everyone who owned a television had known about their existence for the last several years, I'd still given half my night's tips to see the clerk behind the counter sell a bag of Funyuns and a six pack of Tru Blood to the petite, unassuming killer in front of me.

"I've already spoken to Amelia," she continued." I asked her to brew you a gallon of that sugar water you call tea and heat those little pizza wraps that you both love so much, although something with less cheese and sauce might be more lady-like to eat with your fingers."

This, this is what I loved about Pam. She has the ability to kill and drain any one of us with a lethal quickness, but at the heart of her, she is still a proper English lady. Tea is served hot, with one cube of sugar at a maximum and a dash of milk, and served in proper Bone China. "Biscuits" as she called them, although they look like plain old Lorna Doone cookies to me, are acceptable so long as they are not too crumbly as to soil your clothes.

During the last "girls night" Amelia and I treated ( or tortured, depending on your perception) Pam with one entire season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. We both asked her quizzically why we'd never heard her say things like, "bugger" and "shag" and "sod off" or our personal favorite, "bloody hell", like our favorite Spike? She looked shocked. She turned, picked up her bottle of True Blood (pinky finger out for good measure) and took a delicate drink. She turned back to us, with a dainty smile on her face, "Because I speak the Queen's English, not the slang of the destitute."

Amelia and I busted out with the giggles. The whole thing would've gone over a lot better had Pam not spent the better half of the last one hundred years acclimating (I love my word of the day calender) to the slow gentle drawl of a Southern Belle.

But Pam had always been honest with me, eager to answer my questions about her past. For that matter, so had Bill Compton right up to the point of talking about that bitch of a maker he would run off to. In fact a lot of vamps opened up to me pretty easy and loved to talk about their human lives. Thanks to all my new multi-cultural vampire "friends", I'd be hell to beat on History essay if I ever made it to college. Seems the only person who didn't want to take that walk down memory lane with me was the one I wanted to know the most about. And the one who should want to tell me, being his bonded and all.

Just as I was about to ask Pam about Eric, she turned and lifted her head to the sky and inhaled deeply. She turned those piercing eyes on me and asked with a tone of confusion, "Sookie, has my Master been here to see you?"

"What? No!" I all but spit at her. "I haven't seen him. Pam, you know that, I think he's avoiding me."

Pam sighed, "Yes, he is different of late. He is distracted worse than usual..." her voice dropped off.

"Distracted? Pam, did you just call me a 'distraction?' Is that what I am to him, after all I've done." I felt the hot tears, about to spill over onto my reddened cheeks. Where was all this emotion coming from?

"Sookie, dear, don't be dramatic." Pam said in her ever pragmatic voice. "Anything that does not keep Eric's attention 100% focused on the politics at hand, may get us all killed. So yes my dear it is a distraction. It does not mean it can not be a "good distraction" at some point," She winked and allowed some fang to show. Leave it to Pam to use vampire horniness to make all the bad go away. I should remind her that's not very lady-like.

I wiped the tears that threatened to spill away with the back of my long sleeved Merlotte's shirt. I looked up at her again, a half apologetic smile on my face, "I'm sorry Pam, I didn't mean...I mean, Do you really think he was here?"

"Not now", she answered still scanning the night sky and surrounding woods, "but recently".

"Does he have business with Sam?" I asked, grasping at straws. Six months ago the thought of Eric spying on me would've sent me into a fit of rage. Now as much as I hated to admit it, I just really wanted to see him. Damn bond.

Pam huffed, "My Master's only business with the shifter would be in regards to you. But I don't think that's the case. If it will ease your mind, I will simply call him". Pam shrugged casually and pulled out her red cell phone that was nearly identical to mine. Must be a Fangtasia standard issue. With her lightening fast speed she hit one button and put her phone to her ear, "Hello, this is Pam, may I..."

Now not everybody would do what I was about to do, but I didn't earn the nickname Crazy Sookie for nothing and I was desperate. I reached forward and snatched the cell phone right out of Pam's hand and slammed the flip phone shut.

I know vampires don't breathe, but I swear Pam gasped...GASPED, at my actions. She stood there staring at me slack-jawed and eyes open wide. It was like she was trying to decide whether or not to kill me or laugh at me.

I was pacing back and forth at this point, "Now, you just wait a minute Pam," I started. I figured I needed to speak my peace before she decided to drain me dry for my insult and then dab the corners of her mouth delicately with a lacy handkerchief. " I am in no mood to deal with Eric Northman tonight. I just worked 5 shifts in a row and my feet, my body and my mind are exhausted. If he insists on flyin' around checking up on me and peaking in my windows then the only thing he's gonna see tonight is me watching....what's that you have?...." I grabbed for the DVD's that Pam had been holding in her hand. She flipped them over to display them like a winning poker hand while the other arm crossed her mid section. She had an amused smirk on her face and was trying very hard not to laugh out loud.

I selected a DVD from her hand..."27 Dresses? Yeah Pam, no thanks. Don't need a reminder that at this point that I'll most likely never get to be a bride." I threw the pretty pink box over my shoulder and selected another. "Generation Kill? Pam, you brought a war movie to girl's night?" I was ranting and rambling almost incoherently at this point.

Pam shrugged again and said almost as an after thought, "Colbert is hot", like that made it ok.

"Ok fine, if Eric Northman insists on peaking in my windows, then he will see me watching 'Generation Kill' and checking out hot Marines.!" I put extra emphasis on the word Marine then asked Pam quietly, "they are Marines right?"

"Mmmhmmm" she hummed a bit sarcastically. "Can we go now, or would you like to stand here and make further declarations to my Master..who can not hear you..because he is no longer here." She took one tapered finger and pointed it in a circular motion outlying the surrounding areas and then pointed to her feet with the word, "here".

I sighed and uncrossed my arms letting them hang limply at my sides, "Fine, I'm sorry. Let's go, Amelia is probably wondering what's keeping us". Which was probably true and if that was the case, her wonder would turn to worry and worry would turn into a clean house and maybe some homemade cookies. I reached for the car door again.

"I'll drive" Pam stated matter of factually.

"Fine. Drive" I muttered. Boy this was turning out to be quite a girl's night.

The first five minutes of the drive were painfully quiet. Pam doesn't breathe so it's not like I can judge what's going on in her head by the speed or depth of her breathing. I opened my mouth to speak. Pam spoke instead.

"Yes, Sookie, he does. Care for you, think of you often, wonder how to get through to you, wonder if he can protect you." Her voice was soft, barely above a whisper. I knew as well as she did that she was running a great risk even talking to me about Eric's feelings towards me. I was silently grateful.

I sat in stone silence. I could feel my eyes welling up with tears and my shoulders slumped forward. I was so push and the pull of all the emotions, anger, fear, love, loss, confusion, all seemed to land on my shoulders at once. If Eric truly could feel me through the bond, no wonder he stayed away. I was an emotional force not to be reckoned with. I heard the familiar crunch of my gravel driveway, the driveway that Eric had paid for, under the tires of Pam's black sedan. I finally spoke, "Thank you, Pam".

She merely smiled and nodded her head towards the house. Amelia met us at the porch. Pam glided up the steps gracefully while I waddled slowly behind. "There you guys are, I started to think you were bailing on me. Sookie, I made tea and Pam, I'll heat that Tru Blood for you." It was then that Amelia noticed my less than excited, tear stained face as I came into view under the porch light. Her face dropped and she reached for me. "Sookie, what...." Pam cut in between us and interrupted pointing another delicate finger in my direction.

"This one needs a gin and tonic and a bath. You and I can prepare for the movies while Sookie relaxes." If I didn't know any better I'd swear Pam was glamouring Amelia into fixing me a drink, running my bath and not asking any questions. Whatever works.

****************

"Amelia, would you please excuse me, I need to step outside and make a call?" Pam asked pleasantly.

"Sure thing, just don't let your blood get cold" Amelia replied. She and Pam had once had a "sort of" relationship so they were both pretty used the others routines. Amelia knew that regardless of what was going on, and I do mean regardless, Pam was obliged to check in.

"I won't be long." Pam knew she would have limited time until Sookie was out of her much needed bath and back to entertaining. Her Southern manners simply would not allow it regardless of her personal turmoil. Pam had to smile to herself over that, who's the proper lady now? She had just stepped through the kitchen door onto the darkened back porch when she caught her Master's scent again.

"Eric?" she asked in a hushed tone.

"Master", she asked again, "are you there? No answer.

Pam whipped out her cell phone reminding herself of the display of bravado that Sookie had displayed by taking it away from her. That girl was as strong-willed and stubborn as Eric was. No wonder he was having such a tough time getting through to her. His charms weren't going to be enough , he was going to have to back it up this time. And Sookie, in Pam's opinion, deserved no less.

The phone rang once before a deep voice answered at the other end. "Northman"

"Eric, it's Pam, I'm with Sookie." she answered.

"Sookie", Eric questioned, "Is she in danger, is she hurt?"

"Not physically, but her human emotions are causing her great pain. As much as she will not admit, she needs you. And quite frankly Master, you need her."

Pam tensed as she heard the low growl of anger through the phone, "Pam, you know I can not come to her, not with the new regime still looking over my shoulder. I can not and I will not put her in anymore danger than necessary by coming to her now. I would sooner fall upon my own sword than risk a hair on her beautiful head. You must make her understand this."

"You can't come to her, but you can spy on her at the shifter's bar and again this very night at her home where she sits leaking tears into her bath water? I know your scent Master, I know you have been here." Pam was a bit shocked at her own insubordination. Did she just call out her maker, her Master over a human woman? All this time spent in Sookie's company, maybe the "crazy" was wearing off.

The silence on the other end of the line was deafening and lasted for what seemed an eternity.

"My Child", Eric spoke calmly and yet his confusion was unmistakable, "I have not been to Bon Temps in over 3 months."

TBC