Unasked Questions
Author's Note: Reviews always welcome, hope you all like it.
Made with the inspiration of Tate4ever, in honour of a character who, quite obviously, will never be forgotten.
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Tony Dinozzo sat down slowly on the warm grass, his sunglasses shielding him from the bright, midday sunlight. He sat facing outward, with his elbows on his knees, and his fingers interlaced. Giving a small sigh, he glanced around. More out of habit then anything else, but reminiscent of a watchfulness that would be with him forever. It was something Tony would never forgive himself for, for not being watchful enough.
He came here often, to this place of peace, and rest. He was driven to come, it was undeterable, and he felt he would do it forever. Tony glanced around once more, giving a small laugh.
"Yeah, I know, it's stupid, you don't need to tell me again!" He spoke out loud, softly, but not to himself.
He paused, watching clouds roll lazily by, without a care in the world. When Tony thought about it, he envied them, those clouds. Not having to care, not having to feel, not having to lose the one thing they... No. It was a line of thought he had followed often enough, a line that killed him a little more each time he thought it. He switched to updates, as he did everytime he came.
"You know that new girl I told you about. Well, she's not half as fun as you. She doesn't even get, like, a tenth, of my movie references. She hasn't even seen most movies. She doesn't even own a tv! How weird is that," he expressed with indignant rage. "I mean, 'Hello, you're in the good ol' US of A now, shouldn't owning a tv be like a law or something? I'm telling ya, you would have kicked her ass three seconds after she got here. Even with your somewhat, limited, range of knowledge on good movies." He couldn't resist the small jab, and chuckled silently.
"Well, anyway, Gibbs is ok too. Not quite as, shall we say, carefree as he used to be but he's still Gibbs." He solemned up quickly. "I think he misses you. Every now and then, you can catch him, just, staring at your desk. How creepy is that, huh?" Tony grinned to himself, before growing silent again. This time, he had to wait to continue. "I think the first weeks were rougher on him then anybody. I mean, you knew Ari was a dead man walking. After he was killed, I don't think Boss knew what else to do. Sometimes he's just so quiet, and not moody quiet either, but just, quiet. He really does miss you, you know. We all do." Tony stopped, watching a nearby tree's leaves flutter and dance.
"You should see Abby and McGee. They're like two, okay, not exactly doves, but more like squirrels. She's still all crazy and hyper, and he's still, well, he's still the Elflord. But they're good, they've got each other. I don't know what they think they're hiding though, everyone's started a betting pool to see when they're gonna get together. Ahhh, geek romance, is there anything more strange. But you know them, they kinda balance each other out." He stopped to watch a small bird swoop by. It was a blue bird with small white spots. He didn't know what it was, but it perched itself in a tree near him, and stayed there, staring at him. Tearing his eyes from the bird, he cleared his throat.
"That's what I always though we were. A balance. You know, my overwhelming good looks and excellent charm, with your brains." Tony paused, with a small smile on his face. He reached into his pocket, pulling a small box out. His smile faded, his features growing sad and distant.
"You knew that was all an act, didn't you. You were beautiful. You always had been. Oh God, I can't believe I never told you that." Tony hung his head, as his voice cracked. Water clouded his vision, and tears ran down the side of his face, dropping to the ground. His hands played with the box, as he sat in silence. He hurt. He hadn't gone running, or worked out too hard. He hadn't been shot, or broken anything. He had done nothing. And it hurt so much. Minutes passed while Tony was lost in the hell that had become his thoughts. He lifted his head slowly, watching the bird, still sitting silently in the tree.
"I always meant to tell you. I just... I always thought... I always thought there would be time. God I loved you Katie, and I don't think I know how to stop."
The sun sank lower, casting Tony's shadow long against the ground. As slight wind started, Tony shivered slightly. He wiped the still lingering moisture from his cheek.
"I've been thinking about this since the day I met you. I got it about a year ago, I never knew why then, I'd always planned on asking... but... I don't know. You never knew, I made sure of that."
"I should have told you how much I loved you Katie, but I just didn't know how. I guess I just figured that one day everything would just miraculously be right." He closed his eyes as his pain poured out. His loneliness grew, and the air became brisk.
"I wanted to make sure everything was perfect first, but I couldn't do anything until it was. I wanted to be with you, more than anything in the world. It just... it just never seemed like the right time to ask. But Kate, you were my Sun. I revolved around you, and everything you did. I always will. I just wanted you to know...oh God, ... I'm sorry I was so scared Katie."
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Tony stood up slowly, shaking out the stiffness in his joints. He looked towards the sun, now slowly sinking beneath the horizon. A noise turned him around, as the blue bird chirped, then took off. It flew up, singing softly, and slowly began fading out of sight. Opening the box for the last time, he stared at the retreating figure of the bird for reassurance. It sang once more, the song carried back by the growing wind, and he knew. He placed the open box gently on top of the black marble gravestone.
As he walked away, the small ring glistened in the setting sunlight.