Ladies and mentlewankers, my name is Bacon and I'm going to write this shitty story wether you like it or not.
So sit back and, well, you don't have to enjoy it, I'm going to write this shit wether you like it or not.
Let's begin.
It was a beautiful day at 2Fort, with blue and red fighting ceaselessly, as usual. WHEN SUDDENLY, a giant penis dropped down from the sky and sprayed White Paint everywhere, entirely wiping out the landscape and leaving a smooth, white, vast emptiness. And killing both the red and blue teams.
From the giant penis emerged a figure, STEVE, with his iconic diamond pickaxe and a "few" supplies. The red and blue teams of course had respawned by now and were debating on a truce.
" MAGGOTS, I will never ally with these MAGGOTS! " said the red soldier.
" AY, Howza bouts we settle this over a pint? " said the blue demoman.
And so they all got drunk. THEN SUDDENLY, a giant square swimming pool full of green paint fell out of nowhere and covered everyone. AND THUS, THEGREEN TEAM WAS BORN.
Meanwhile...
*sssssssssssssBOOOM*
" SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT " steve yelled as the creeper turned his rocket into a black mark on the ground. " MOTHERFUCKING CREEPER BASTARD WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU EVEN COME FROM YOU SHITASSDICK HSGHDZUJSSJXJD- "
After steve was done raging, he sat down and admired the landscape, or more like lack of any landscape.
" With this, I shall build a paradise. A paradise of adventure and awesome shit " he thought to himself.
And so he set to work building a small island. Complete with a large penis statue.
Meanwhile, at the green team...
" Hey goku, sup, how boutcha teach us that fusion technique thing, aight?" one of the green scouts asked goku, who had seen everything go blank and decided to fly to where he felt it had originated... And shit.
" LOLOLOLOL OKAY " said goku, And so all of the doubles merged together so Bacon didn't have to deal with two of each motherfucking character.
End chapter 1.