Ok so I ended up staying up all night to write this as part of it has been on my computer since I started my other story. The other parts have been swimming around in my head. I'm actually in the military(the reserves) and just watching the episode where Half Sack died brought me to tears. I've served overseas and in the past 6 months I've lost 3 friends. It always amazes me when soldiers can make it through a deployment in some of the worst areas and then they come home and get in accidents or something tragic happens. It just doesn't make a bit of sense to me. So needless to say Half Sack's death hit way too close to home. So, this is the outcome when you can't sleep and have a lot of stuff going on in your head. Review if you would like and if you would like to see more of this story. Or if you have any constructive criticism. :) Thanks all.
"If I ever leave this world alive
The madness that you feel will soon subside
So in a word don't shed a tear
I'll be here when it all gets weird
If I ever leave this world alive
So when in doubt just call my name
Just before you go insane
If I ever leave this world
Hey I may never leave this world
But if I ever leave this world alive
She says I'm okay; I'm alright,
Though you have gone from my life
You said that it would,
Now everything should be all right"
If I Ever Leave This World Alive- Flogging Molly
She stared at the grave in front of her, her back straight and expression stoic throughout the short ceremony. The only hint that this might be affecting her was the slight tremble of her hands and bottom lip. They had been through so much together and to lose him now seemed to just be a big cosmic joke. She took a deep breath and when she let it out her whole body shuddered. She stood and a hand gripped her elbow as the first rifle shots could be heard. As she heard the first notes of the bugle, she shrugged off the hand supporting her and her hand and arms slowly lifted in a salute. When it ended, her hand slowly dropped to her side. Her eyes closed then snapped back open as the men in the dress uniforms lifted the flag off the coffin and began carefully folding.
"Life on earth," she mumbled where only the man standing next to her could hear as the flag was folded the first time.
"Eternal life." The second fold.
"The veteran who gave a portion of his life." The third fold.
The man at her side looked at her with sympathy.
"Humanity's weaker nature," she continued with a small sob. The fourth fold.
"Tribute to our country." The fifth fold.
"The state of the American's heart." The sixth fold.
"The United States Armed Forces." The seventh fold.
"Tribute to the one who entered into the valley of the shadow of death," The eighth fold.
"A tribute to motherhood." The ninth fold.
"A tribute to fatherhood." The tenth fold.
The eleventh and twelfth fold she was silent and just silently crossed herself. She was quiet as the soldiers finished the folding and tucked the three spent shell casings inside the flag. She watched as they passed the flag off to the next high ranking service member, each saluting after they passed it on. Her breath hitched as the last man turned towards her and walked deliberately and slowly in her direction. Her legs buckled and the man at her side helped her sit back down. The man in front of her kneeled down on one knee and placed the flag in her hands and kept his hands on hers as he spoke.
"This flag is presented on behalf of a grateful nation and the United States Army as a token of appreciation for your loved one's honorable and faithful service," the man said, looking into her eyes. He then rose and slowly saluted before turning and slowly walking off.
The woman clutched the flag to her chest and one tear dripped slowly down her face. She watched as the ceremony ended and people started to drift away, just staring at the casket in front of her. When most everyone was gone, she slowly rose and walked to the casket. She laid one hand on it and a sob escaped. She leaned down and pressed a kiss gently to the casket before straightening and slowly saluted one last time. She turned to the man who had been patiently waiting for her.
"I'm ready," she said and walked away one last time from the man she loved more than anything.
"Has she moved at all or even said anything?" the older man asked his stepson as they watched the blonde woman staring blankly straight forward, still holding the flag.
The blonde haired man shook his head as he took a drag off his cigarette. "Not once. I tried to get her to change and she glared at me and just ignored me."
"Jax, she needs to eat something. I haven't seen her take a bite of anything the past couple days," Clay Morrow said.
Jax sighed. "I know Clay. I can't force her."
"Yes, you can Jax," he responded, staring him down. "I'm gonna go make her a plate and you are going to make sure she eats it."
He stalked off and Jax rubbed a hand over his face before putting out his cigarette. He walked over to the bar and grabbed a beer, twisted the top off and took a long pull before turning around to watch the woman still sitting in the same place. He looked over briefly as a man leaned next to him.
"Wan' me to try to talk to her?" he asked.
Jax shrugged. "I don't know if it will help, but you can try."
The man nodded and turned, grabbing a bottle of whiskey and two shot glasses, before walking over to the young woman. He sat beside her and poured the whiskey into a shot glass before offering it to her. She stared blankly at the shot glass before meeting his eyes. Her eyes welled up with tears and a sob escaped.
"He's gone isn't he Chibs?"
"Aye, luv, he is," he said and handed her the shot. "Drink one to honor him."
She reached out and took the shot glass he offered her and stared into its golden brown depths. He poured his own and gently clinked it against hers before they both brought their respective glasses to their lips and downed it. He poured them both another shot and they quickly took those as well. She looked up as Jax approached with a plate of food.
"Ya need to eat, luv," Chibs advised, knowing she was about to argue with the man approaching them.
She nodded and gazed down at the flag in her lap like she couldn't remember how she had come to be in possession of it. Chibs put a hand on the flag.
"Lemme put it in your room," he said, slowly slipping it out of her lap. She watched him wide eyed, her hand tightening briefly on the flag before letting him take it out of her grasp. She accepted the plate Jax offered her and started to push the food around. She felt him sit beside her, but didn't acknowledge him.
"You have to eat darlin'," he said. "You haven't eaten in days."
She nodded and took a bite of the food, not tasting anything. She finally looked around at the people just standing around, all of them trying not to stare at her.
"Where's Gemma?" she asked.
"She had to leave remember? Stahl pinned her for Zobelles daughter's murder."
She nodded then her eyes took on a wild look. "Abel?"
Jax rubbed a hand down her back. "He's missing remember?"
Tears slipped down her face and Jax sighed. He poured her another shot of the whiskey. It was better for her to just drink enough to pass out. It would be the only thing to keep her calm. He looked up as Chibs approached and sat back down. They both watched her as she downed shot after shot. Before long, her eyes were glassy and her speech had started slurring.
"Jackie boy, let's get her into the room," Chibs said, taking the bottle of whiskey from her.
Jax nodded and stood up. "I've got her," he said, lifting the woman into his arms. He made his way through the crowd and sighed. He was glad she couldn't see the sympathetic looks being cast their way. She would just get pissed off. He let Chibs in front of him to open the door and then walked in and laid her on the bed.
"You got her?" Chibs asked.
Jax nodded and began pulling off the small heels she was wearing. He heard the door close behind him and then felt a small hand touch his. His eyes met hers and he rubbed her legs.
"I'm gonna get you changed ok darlin'?"
She nodded and let him unbutton the jacket and pull it off. He carefully hung it over the chair before unhooking the little tie around her neck and unbuttoning the dress shirt. He pulled it off her before unhooking and unzipping the blue skirt and pulling that off of her as well. He helped her take the pins out of her hair and blonde waves cascaded down. He grabbed a SAMCRO shirt and helped her shrug into it before tucking her under the covers. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and started to straighten when she grabbed him by his cut.
"Will you stay with me till I fall asleep?" her husky voice asked.
Jax nodded and crawled on the bed, tucking her in beside him. They were silent and he could feel her drifting off.
"I remember the first time I stayed in this room," she mumbled.
Jax looked down at her and her eyes had already closed and her breathing evened out. He sighed and tucked a stray hair behind her ear, remembering the first time he had laid eyes on the woman in his arms.
-6 Months Previous-
Randi Epps looked at the address on the front of the envelope then at the sign in front of her. "Teller-Morrow. This is the place," she said to herself as she turned her blinker on and pulled into the garage's parking lot. She looked at the line of shiny motorcycles and the bikers standing beside them and sighed. "Oh boy, what the hell have you got yourself into?"
"We got company," Jax Teller said, looking at the black Mustang pulling in. The guys surrounding him straightened and eyed the vehicle as it came to a stop. The door opened and a tan combat boot hit the pavement before a fit woman in a camouflage uniform stepped out and looked around. She had on a black beret, sunglasses and her blonde hair was in a neat bun at the nape of her neck and from Jax's view she was absolutely gorgeous.
She looked around and spotted the guys standing there, looking at her. She strolled over.
"Having car trouble darlin'?" Jax asked, eyeing the blonde. From what he could see of her face, not hidden by the sunglasses, she was pretty.
Randi sighed and took the sunglasses off, revealing big blue eyes that looked strangely familiar. "Not exactly."
Jax smirked at her. Oh, she was definitely pretty and had a nice, tight little body hidden under that uniform from the looks of things.
"Well, then what do you need?" one of the other guys asked rudely.
"Randi!" a voice called from behind the guys. They turned to see the prospect, Half-Sack, run up and scoop the blonde up and swing her around. She grinned and buried her face in his neck.
"I've missed you so much Kip," she said.
"Why didn't you call me and tell me you were coming?" Kip asked, putting her back on her feet.
"I didn't even think about it. I just wanted to get here. I've only got two weeks before I have to fly back."
Kip rested his forehead against hers. "I wish you didn't have to go back," he said.
Randi shrugged. "You know how it is Kip."
They both jumped when a hand landed on Kip's shoulder. "Hey Prospect, you gonna introduce us to your little friend?" the rude one from earlier asked.
Randi raised an eyebrow. 'Prick,' she thought to herself.
Kip put his arm around her shoulders and grinned proudly at the guys in front of him. "This is my sister, Randi. She's home on leave from Afghanistan."
Randi sat at the bar in what Kip called their clubhouse. She had been introduced to all of the guys and some of the women but she had already forgotten most of their names.
"Would you like a drink, love?" the Scotsman asked her. Chibs, she thought to herself. That was what Kip had called him.
She smiled at him. "Sure, that would be nice."
"What would you like? Got beer, whiskey. I could make some coffee."
"Whiskey is perfect," she said, smiling. "I haven't had alcohol in seven months so that sounds wonderful."
Chibs shuddered. "No alcohol for that long, that's torture."
Randi grinned. "Yeah I know. It blows."
He eyed her as he set the beer in front of her. "So, what do you do in the military?" he asked, figuring she was a paper pusher.
"Sixty-eight whiskey. Health care specialist. Combat medic for short," she said, grinning. She knew most people looked at her thinking she was a priss and were usually surprised to find out her career choice. "Before that I was military police."
The rude one from earlier butted in the conversation. "So you were a police officer?"
Randi cut a look at him. "Yeah I used to be. Now I'm not." Tig was his name, Randi remembered. "Don't like cops?"
"Not particularly," Tig replied.
Randi shrugged, not really caring if the guy liked her or not. She was only here for her brother. She didn't give a damn about anyone else in this place. She looked up as Kip walked to her, a big goofy grin on his face. He was followed by an attractive older woman.
"So you are Half-Sack's sister?" a booming voice asked from behind her.
Randi turned slightly to see a giant, older man speaking to her. "Guilty, I'm afraid."
"Well, you're a hell of a lot prettier than him that's for sure," the woman piped in and stuck her hand out for Randi to shake. "I'm Gemma."
"Randi," she responded, shaking the woman's hand.
"So, how long are you here for?" Gemma asked.
"Two weeks before I have to go back to Afghanistan," Randi said and then smiled at Kip. "But, I've only got five more months until this deployment ends and then I am out of the Army for good."
A big grin spread across her brother's face. "You're finally getting out?" he asked, picking her up from her chair and hugging her tight. He had been trying for years to talk her into getting out.
"Yup, I'm done," she said grinning at him before pushing at him to let her down.
"Well, this is a call for celebration," the older man said. He held a hand out to Randi. "I'm Clay Morrow and of course you've met my wife Gemma now. We gotta celebrate you being home for a little bit!"
"Really?" Kip asked Clay, looking at him with large blue eyes.
"Sure," he said, clapping him on the back. "Family of yours Sack is family of ours."
Kip grinned at his sister, who smiled back. "Well, let me know what time and where I need to be and I'll be there," Randi said, smiling at the couple in front of her. "I've gotta go find a hotel room in the meantime and get cleaned up. I landed in Washington, picked my car up and drove straight here."
"Nonsense. You aren't gonna stay at a hotel. You are welcome to stay here," Clay interjected.
"You sure I won't put you guys out?"
"Naah," the tall blonde from earlier threw in as he reached over her to grab the bottle of whiskey. "You can have my old room."
Randi looked back and forth between all of them. "If you're sure," she said.
"Absolutely. Besides you've probably been in tents and shit. It's the least we can do for ol Half Sack's sister," he said, playfully rubbing Kip's head.
Randi nodded. "Ok well if you don't mind, I'm gonna grab my bag and take a shower. I think I stink," she said laughing.
"No problem. Grab your bag and I'll show you to the room," he said, smiling at her. "Oh, by the way, my name is Jax," he continued, holding his hand out for her to shake.
"Randi," she said, smiling back and shaking his hand.