~Well...this was just an idea that came to me. I was thinking about that 'dirty joke' where Epona falls in the mud...Overused, but still funny...and this just came to me, as I said! It needs no explanation...you'll figure it out.~
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Ganondorf: View From Under the Saddle
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Oh, there he goes again. Everytime he wants to go somewhere to perform his evil deeds, he plops his rear end right on my back. And to make matters worse, he sure ain't light. And just when I think things are completely awful, he starts smacking my rear with all his might an' main until I'm forced to start running, butt stinging all the way, like I was his own personal beast of burden.
Which I'm not, mind you. I am a purebred Gerudo stallion. I can outrun most all other steeds, and my pure black coat is the envy of all the other stallions, and it also impresses the mares quite a bit...ah-hem.
But Mr. Green And Ugly has to disgrace me by galloping around on my back like a little kid at a pony ride. Seriously, he has no idea how to ride a horse. I'm constantly trying to throw him off, but the Gerudo freak is so heavy, I can barely get my front hooves off the ground.
And then there was that incident with the Triforce. The idiot decided to steal it, which should be easy enough, but somehow he royally screwed that up. When he got back, he took his anger out on me. I repayed him, though, with a nip on the wrist. Heh heh. He wasn't pleased at all.
And everyone knows that legs are an important part of riding a horse. Even he should know that. But nooooooo...he has to wear spiked kneepads. Those things really hurt! By the fur, did this man just fall off the turnip truck or what?
Ack. Seriously, just between you and me, I'm rooting for that blond shrimp that GanonDORK is always complaining about. He needs someone to give him a good run for his money, you know? And if he can defeat him...all the better. Maybe then I can get a decent rider, like that girl back at the ranch. She was really nice. She used to sing to us. And that Epona was a pretty hot pony, you know?
So...I guess I'll deal with him for now. Oh...look. We're coming up to a mud puddle. How...perfect...*Snigger*
Horse: *Bucks around wildly*
Ganondorf: *Holds on for dear life*
Horse: *Chucks Ganondorf into the mud puddle*
And so, until next time, my dear friends, I bid you adeiu. This has been View From Under the Saddle, signing out.
***
Ganondorf: View From Under the Saddle
***
Oh, there he goes again. Everytime he wants to go somewhere to perform his evil deeds, he plops his rear end right on my back. And to make matters worse, he sure ain't light. And just when I think things are completely awful, he starts smacking my rear with all his might an' main until I'm forced to start running, butt stinging all the way, like I was his own personal beast of burden.
Which I'm not, mind you. I am a purebred Gerudo stallion. I can outrun most all other steeds, and my pure black coat is the envy of all the other stallions, and it also impresses the mares quite a bit...ah-hem.
But Mr. Green And Ugly has to disgrace me by galloping around on my back like a little kid at a pony ride. Seriously, he has no idea how to ride a horse. I'm constantly trying to throw him off, but the Gerudo freak is so heavy, I can barely get my front hooves off the ground.
And then there was that incident with the Triforce. The idiot decided to steal it, which should be easy enough, but somehow he royally screwed that up. When he got back, he took his anger out on me. I repayed him, though, with a nip on the wrist. Heh heh. He wasn't pleased at all.
And everyone knows that legs are an important part of riding a horse. Even he should know that. But nooooooo...he has to wear spiked kneepads. Those things really hurt! By the fur, did this man just fall off the turnip truck or what?
Ack. Seriously, just between you and me, I'm rooting for that blond shrimp that GanonDORK is always complaining about. He needs someone to give him a good run for his money, you know? And if he can defeat him...all the better. Maybe then I can get a decent rider, like that girl back at the ranch. She was really nice. She used to sing to us. And that Epona was a pretty hot pony, you know?
So...I guess I'll deal with him for now. Oh...look. We're coming up to a mud puddle. How...perfect...*Snigger*
Horse: *Bucks around wildly*
Ganondorf: *Holds on for dear life*
Horse: *Chucks Ganondorf into the mud puddle*
And so, until next time, my dear friends, I bid you adeiu. This has been View From Under the Saddle, signing out.