"This is Central?" a young woman sighed as she stepped out of a car holding a large suitcase. "It's not as exciting as everyone makes it out to be." She started up the steps of a towering building and passed a guard.
"Miss? Where do you think you're going? Who are you?" he asked.
"Oh, um…I'm Winry Rockbell and I'm here to visit Lieutenant Colonel Edward Elric. Is that alright?" she asked.
"The Lieutenant Colonel is out of his office currently, but you may wait in there for him to return from his meeting," the guard said. "I can lead you there, if you'd like."
A man about Winry's age walked out of the building carrying a stack of papers. He walked closer to her until he noticed she was there. "Oh, hey Winry!" he said, letting go of the stack and waving.
The guard saluted and pointed to the scattered papers. "Sir, you dropped your paperwork."
"I see that," he said, picking them up. He looked at Winry, who stared back.
"You've gotten clumsy, Ed," she said, smiling.
He gave her a nervous grin and put the papers back in a neat pile. "I guess. Are you still making automail, or have you given up?"
"People still need it back in Resembool, so I still make it," Winry replied. "Why? It's not like you need it anymore? How do you retain that state alchemist name anyway when you have your arm and leg back?"
"It's something we can't change. Once the paperwork is done, it's written in stone…or paper…or…yeah." Ed shrugged. "Anyway, what's with the visit?"
"I just wanted to see how your work is going," Winry said.
"How long are you going to be here?" Ed asked.
"A week or so," Winry replied.
"I bet you're gonna stay with Al and me so you can cut off my arm and leg in the night so you'll make money off me again," Ed snickered.
Winry frowned and opened her suitcase and grabbed a wrench. She took it and belted it against Ed's forehead. He dropped all the papers again and grabbed his forehead in pain as he stumbled around blindly until he fell to his knees, moaning in pain.
"What the hell?" he griped. "It was a joke, Winry!" He took his hands off his forehead and stared at the papers. "Now I dropped them again and one of them is splattered with…" He stopped as his eyes wandered to his hand. He let out a little squeaky gasp when he saw it covered with blood. "Aw, shit! Could you grab those papers, Winry? I have to go get something to stop my brain from leaking out of my skull through this puncture in my forehead."
Winry grabbed the papers and watched Ed stumble into the building in the manner similar to a drunken man. Maybe I do need anger management…
"Ed," a young man about twenty said, pressing an ice pack against Ed's forehead.. "So what did you do this time? Insult the way she makes automail?"
"I cracked a joke that she'd chop off my arm and leg so she can make money off me again since I'm even clumsier than I was six years ago," Ed said as the boy took the ice pack off his forehead. "No, put it back on, Al; it freakin' hurts."
"So," Al said, grinning. "What do you think of her since those two years away from her?"
"I think she's a black-hearted broad who think she can just waltz into this city and throw wrenches at people," Ed replied bluntly. "Y'know what I mean?"
Al stared at him and said, "You lost me."
The door flung open and an automail arm was thrown straight at Ed, hitting him square in the face. Winry stepped into the room, breathing heavily as if she had just wasted all her energy in doing something…such as throwing an arm at some unsuspecting twenty-one year old guy.
"'Black-hearted broad'?!" she huffed. "I'll show you black-hearted!"
Ed, who had fallen over in his chair, grabbed the edge of his desk and pulled himself up. He had a scraped open forehead with some of his epithelial tissue and bone showing from the gash. Blood ran down his face and onto his desk as he muttered incoherently, "This is black-hearted, you…" The rest was nothing but blabber as the lieutenant colonel collapsed.
"Oh my god!" Al screamed as he made a mad dash for the phone. He fumbled with it until it was against his ear and dialed a number. "Hello? Yes, I have an emergency! My brother collapsed because he has a gigantic gash in his forehead. We're at Central Headquarters. Yeah, whatever, just hurry up!" Al threw the phone and sat there looking at Ed until the ambulance came and took the unconscious man away.
Ed sat at his desk and stared blankly off into the ceiling with a stupid grin on his face.
"Ed, someone's here to see you," Al said as he opened the door for the person to walk in.
"Hello, doctor. I already told you that my eyesight is fine," Ed said in a spaced-out voice.
"Ed, it isn't the doctor. He comes tomorrow. Get on the stupid glasses and see for yourself," Al sighed.
"But, Mother, I just told the doctor that my eyesight was fine. Are you listening?" Ed asked.
"I'm your brother Al, not your mother. And like I said, that isn't the doctor," Al mumbled.
"Really? It isn't?" Ed asked.
"If you got on the glasses, you'd know now, wouldn't you?" Al asked.
Ed opened a drawer and pulled out a glasses case. He took out the glasses and put them on. He stared in shock at the woman staring back.
"Hey Ed," Winry said, smiling nervously. "Sorry for making you legally blind by traumatizing the part of your brain that affects your eyesight."
"W—Wi—WINRY!?" Ed shrieked. "N—no! Leave me alone! I need my hearing! Don't take it away! Unless…" Ed's eyes wandered to his waist, and then lower. "Oh, god! Please no! anything but that! I know I said I'd never have kids, but please don't string me up by my testicles until they turn black and fall off like rotted raisins!!"
Yeah… I heard the raisins thing on Crayon Shin-chan. Oh, well. That's the end of this crap story.