a.k.a Why you shouldn't mess with Tomato-chan

Feigndeath: Yeah… a random thought that takes consideration of Sasuke's love for tomatoes to a very extreme level.

Legends

"Words"

'Thoughts'

Flashback/exaggeration

'This is bad…' Sasuke thought. Kakashi had been fighting for some time now and neither seemed to have the upper hand. Of course, there was the situation with the fake hunter-nin but Naruto had it covered.

There was an option of surrendering, but that would mean failing the mission and a person killed. The enemy was too strong, even for his teacher… 'Damn it! We're going to die? No! Maybe… if I gave her to them as a peace offering, maybe we can broker a deal' Sasuke almost cried at the notion but, his team was more important.

"Wait!" Sasuke yelled, and both his teammate and the fake hunter-nin turned their attention to him. "Maybe we can make a deal? My most valuable belongings for sparing my team and our client" Sasuke yelled even louder, now attracting both the elder shinobi.

"It seems like one of your brats would like this to end?" Zabuza laughed slightly, "I'd thought you'd train your team better than that."

"Sasuke is very level-headed, I don't think he'd say that without thinking through it first, Zabuza." Kakashi stated "Maybe we can talk this out, ne?"

The swordsman scoffed "I doubt that your brat has enough money to bribe me"

"You'd be surprised… Who knows? Sasuke is part of a rich clan."

"…"

"You may be able to afford a harem!" Kakashi added

"…"

"So kid, what's your proposition?" Zabuza asked menacingly. After all, for all he knew, the kid was bluffing.

Sasuke reached for his bag and then took a round object "This" He said simply, holding up a tomato, a fancy tomato, but a tomato nevertheless. Haku gasped, but that was probably from the shock of a tomato being used as a bargaining chip.

Zabuza laughed, and took the tomato in his hand. "This? This is what you want to pay me with?" He then squeezed the tomato really hard.

"Zabuza-sama! No!" Haku yelled, but it was too late, the tomato had exploded into pieces, the red liquid covering the brat's face along with some water?

No…

The brat was crying! He was crying for a tomato?

"Uh… Zabuza-sama… that tomato…" Haku started timidly, "Was worth well over what Gato was paying us"

What?

"What?" Zabuza aked incredulously

"The Bounty Hunters Weekly says that the Tomato of Uchiha Sasuke was worth over one hundred million yen, and that's just the base price!"

"What the hell do you mean by that?" Zabuza asked.

"Uchiha fangirls around the world pay big money for anything belonging to him, food items are highly demanded! You'd know about this if you read the fangirl stock market!"

"..."

"You…" The brat's voice whispered, "killed my only friend I could ever trust" Damn I feel guilty now Zabuza thought. The brat raised his head and the Mangekyou Sharingan was revealed.

Fuck

"So that's the end of my report Hokage-sama" Kakashi stated

"…" The Sandaime was silent, his calm hiding the tornado of emotions inside of him.

"Is that why Sasuke was sulking in his family's tomato field with a giant skeleton comforting him?"

"Come on Sasuke! You gotta move on!" Naruto yelled at him. The skeleton nodded.

"Yeah! If you're going to mope like that then you're never going to find another friend!" Sakura added.

"You might never know, maybe another tomato is like yours is out there" Haku said encouragingly.

"Kid" Zabuza appeared after wandering the fields for a while, holding a tomato. Sasuke gasped as the tomato shown in the light.

"Tomato-chan! You're alive!"

"Catch!" Zabuza threw the tomato at Sasuke. Maybe a bit too hard.

The red painted face of Uchiha Sasuke only served to make his Mangekyou Sharingan more fearsome

FUCK!

END