He hoped it wouldn't be long before he could join his comrades in death.
The last scene Noise Marie ever saw remained burned into his mind as he played a tribute on his Noel Organon to his friends. The soothing melody contrasted with the image of their broken bodies lying among the rubble. In a way, he was glad he couldn't see any more. He wouldn't have to witness the horrific experiments the Black Order routinely performed, or destruction and death on the battlefield. He couldn't fully block it out though. He would still hear the screams of Second Exorcists, and smell the bitter stench of death. There was nothing he could do to stop it. All he could do was keep fighting in this hopeless war until his time came to welcome the same fate that had befallen his friends.
He had no reason to live, until he met her.
"Waugh! I'm sorry!"
Sitting in the cafeteria, Marie raised his head towards the sounds - frantic footsteps, a rapid heartbeat, food slopping on the ground, a yell of "Watch where you're going, you klutz!" from one of the finders. He stood up and headed towards the newcomer.
"Are you alright, miss?" he asked.
"Y-Yes... thank you, I'm fine," the woman answered. Her breathing was erratic, as if her nerves were on edge. "I just need to be more careful, that's all... that's the second time I almost crashed into someone today... Oh no, what a mess!" She set her tray down on a table and went to clean up her food, but Marie heard her foot catch against the table leg. She let out a sharp cry as she fell.
Marie rushed forward and caught her. She felt light, as if she didn't eat enough, and her arms were tense around his back. "Take it easy there," he said. "You're not hurt are you?"
"N-No... I'm okay," she replied, even though he could feel her begin to shake. She straightened up. "That's what I mean, I need to be more careful... I'm really sorry, I-I didn't mean to be a nuisance..." She sniffled, as if on the verge of tears.
"Hey. It's alright, you're not," Marie reassured her, gently placing a big hand on her shoulder. "Try to relax, ok? I'll help you clean your food up, then we'll order more." He took a napkin and helped her to clear the mess from the floor.
The woman took a deep breath. "I'll try. And thanks," she said, as they walked together towards the food hatch. "Oh! I didnt ask you your name. S-Sorry about that! I really am!"
Marie chuckled. "Noise Marie. And you?"
"Miranda Lotto," she answered.
It was ironic that such a gloomy woman would be the one to brighten his life from then on.
"I'm s-so useless..." Miranda sobbed, limp in Marie's arms with exhaustion. That all-too-familiar scent of death had clung to her, a scent of death given off from many others.
"No you're not," Marie tried to reassure her as he stroked her hair. "You did what you could."
"It wasn't enough!" she wailed. "All those villagers... I couldn't keep up the barrier for long enough... and some of them tried to protect me... I should have done more!" Her shoulders trembled. "Why couldn't it have been me instead? What reason do I have to live if I can't help anyone?"
Marie brushed away her tears. "Everyone has a reason to live," he said. "And you do help people. You helped those villagers live a little longer. You heal and protect your comrades. You do so much more for others than you realise."
"Y-You mean that?"
Caressing the side of her face, Marie smiled and nodded. "Yes. I mean it."
Miranda sniffed. "I'm sorry. I really should try to be stronger for the people who are still living." There was an edge of determination to her tone. "I'll protect them the best I can."
"That's more like it," Marie commented. "And if you like, we could play a song for the people who didn't make it, to honour them."
"I guess it's one last thing we can do for them," Miranda agreed. Marie pulled away and began to play the strings of his Innocence like a harp. As the gentle notes filled the air, Miranda sang, her voice sweet and mournful. She really is an amazing singer, Marie thought. If our song does reach those people in Heaven, they will surely feel honoured to hear her. The melody resonated through the halls. Whether the Akuma's victims heard it or not, something about it strengthened the resolve of the two exorcists. This wasn't like any time Marie had played a song for the deceased on his own. Now, he was starting to believe the struggles of the exorcists may be worth it.
"The virus will kill you easily!" the level four Akuma taunted.
Marie grunted in agony as a white-hot burning sensation spread outwards from two of his fingers. He couldn't see the damage, but he knew what was happening. Before he'd been blinded, he'd seen countless times what happened to victims of Akuma poison. His head swam, and he staggered, the strength rapidly draining from his body. This was it. This was surely it...
No. This wasn't it.
Gritting his teeth, he looped one of the wires of his Noel Organon around the infected fingers and pulled. The pain spiked and shot down his arm as the wire cut through flesh. Then the burning faded.
I did it, he thought. His breathing was heavy and ragged, but the important thing was that he was breathing at all. I managed to survive something I shouldn't have survived... because I wanted to.
His death wish was gone, lifted like a burden from his back. He would go on living for the sake of the friends he fought alongside, and for the sake of the woman who meant everything to him.
Miranda had given him a reason to live.