EDIT: I'm not quite happy with how this turned out. When I have more time, I will look at it again and probably repost it. if anyone can pinpoint where this went wrong, please let me know.
RATED M+
Warning: this fic contains attempted (sexual) humor, heavy, almost transparent innuendos (of the sexual variety), non-existent plot, some sappiness and is based on Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Abridged Series. If any of the above is likely to offend or if you are easily offended, please do not subject yourself to this fic. Do not imitate or copy the acts of this fic, for the sake of your safety.
Inspired by a conversation with my friends (Emilia and Tara) after seeing LittleKuriboh at Nom-Con2011.
This is one of the weirdest fics that I have ever written or conceived. It has weirded me out, and I won't be offended if it is weird or creepy to you.
Harpoonshipping: The Second Honeymoon
"That's why you guys ended up getting divorced. You didn't communicate."
Joey's words had shown Mako that there was still a future for him and the Ocean (and all her inhabitants). After an amicable split from Domino Aquarium (who had an eye on the peppy blonde anyway), Mako had wandered down the coast to a cliff. He stood on atop the cliff, looking at the vast beauty of his wife.
The wind gently tugged at his hair, reminding Mako why he was there in the first place. He broke the calm silence.
"I've been such a fool. You were always there for me, even when you were being distant. I've looked at other large bodies of water, but none of them even compare to your beauty," he confessed, smiling softly as the sunlight reflecting gently off of the Ocean's bountiful waves. "Ocean, I love you and I want to start all over again - if you're willing to have me, that is. Just say the word and I'm yours - forever."
His heart pounded as he waited for a reply. He was trying to communicate, just as Joey Wheeler had advised. He was rewarded by the Ocean replying sweetly and softly. "I forgive you."
Just like his heart, Mako leapt with joy. He plunged deep into his wife with his long harpoon.
(88888888)
Mako and the Ocean were enjoying a second honeymoon of sorts. In the Gulf of Mexico, the Ocean was so warm and attentive to him, keeping him warm and providing him with so much delicious food.
He swam along her warm channel, relishing the contact with his wife. He had reached the Mid-Atlantic Ridge. This was the hottest part of his wife on this side of the world, what with the American and Eurasian plates pulling apart, opening the Ocean's floor where hot lava poured out. Others did see this part of the Ocean, but none had been invited here like he had.
This hot part of the Ocean never ceased to amaze Mako. Despite the hot lava, his Ocean remained ever-cool and kept control over the hot lava spewing all over her floor.
"Oh, Ocean. I love you. You are so beautiful. I'm so glad that we're finally getting to know one another, my darling." Mako said to his wife. He grinned playfully. "And you're so hot today."
With his spear in hand, Mako dove down into his wife's depths, to that hidden, hot part of her.
After many hours of diving deeper and deeper into his wife, Mako floated lazily in the Ocean until he was gently deposited onto a sandy beach in Co. Clare in Ireland. He rolled over on the sand, and gazed lovingly at the Ocean. The setting sun had bathed Mako's wife in a warm orange colour. Light sparkled playfully off of the Ocean.
"Ocean, you're so powerful and impressive. You're the largest, most beautiful body of water ever."
The Ocean washed up on the beach softly, as if to sigh in contentment.
(88888888)
The next morning, Mako stood atop a ragged cliff, watching the large rolling waves of his wife crash onto a sandy beach. She never failed to impress him with her power and beauty. Watching her, Mako felt a stirring deep in his abdomen. The source of the stirring was also the source of his sudden rise in temperature.
Mako grinned. He was very excited.
Walking along the cliffs edge, Mako watched the angles of the ocean that were revealed to him with every few metres. He was so focused on his wife that Mako almost stepped into a large hole. Regaining his balance, he looked down at his feet. A wide, dark hole stared up at him. From the hole, he heard a rumbling of waves deep below.
A blowhole, huh?
Mako smirked playfully. I think she deserves a nice surprise…
Mako walked around the blowhole, surveying it. He picked up a pebble and dropped it down the blowhole. He heard a distant splash and was able to estimate how deep the blowhole was.
Mako stripped. Mako stretched. Mako jumped.
He plunged down the deep moist cave, aiming for the spot where he would hit his wife. There was a large splashing sound and water leapt up where had Mako plunged into her.
Mako reached the bottom of the underwater cave. Touching the slippery floor, he pushed off and continued to swim through the underwater cave. The ocean surrounded him, caressing his entire being. She swirled around him, and gently pulled him towards the rest of her body. Then she pushed him back. She kept dragging him forwards and backwards as he gradually neared the exit of the cave.
At the rim of the cave, Mako shot upwards. Gulping in air, he looked lovingly at his wife. God, he loved being in her. Ever since their reconcilement, their relationship had improved significantly. They had so many mornings like this since. Mornings where they just played around and Mako often spent the day with his wife, and in her.
"Ocean, you're so gorgeous. I love this Atlantic side of you. It makes me want to see more," Mako grinned cheekily. He flipped, and swam down to the base of the Ocean's limestone floor to play some more with his wife.
(88888888)
Mako was well-rested after his stay in the small Japanese coastal town. No longer did the cries of "Freaky Fish-guy" annoy him. He was now able to ignore these false insults and strut proudly. He made it through the village without harpooning anyone to death (the fruit vendor had deserved that harpoon of the knee-cap for insulting his love for the Ocean).
He stretched lightly as he watched the sun peep over the cliff. In less than a couple of hours he would finally be able to see the surprise his wife had promised him. Whatever it was, it had something to do with this area. Why else had she invited him to the other side of the globe?
The sun had not yet reached the centre of the sky when Mako dove off the cliff. He and his spear entered his wife with a splash. The Ocean replied with an appreciative crashing of waves. Mako laughed happily.
"So, what's the surprise?"
The Ocean didn't reply, but instead splashed Mako cheekily with a wave. An undercurrent of water dragged him out further to a remote part of the Ocean. The power and speed of the undercurrent increased gently. Treading the water, Mako looked in the direction his wife was pulling him. He could see a swirl of white in the distance. Mako squinted in an effort to see his destination through the glare of the sunlight that was bouncing off of his wife's body.
Mako gasped upon realising what his wife's surprise was. She was dragging him to a whirlpool.
"How did you know, Ocean? How did you know that this is one of my fantasies?…"
The Ocean just pulled him closer to her whirlpool. His harpoon had been ripped from his hand. The dragging force of the current was sucking him into the whirlpool. He was now spinning around the whirlpool, constantly being sucked into the centre of his wife. Mako was now breathing hard and was very excited. He was being sucked into a Naruto whirlpool, one of the five fastest in the world. Regardless of how his wife had discovered his fantasy, she was carrying it out, and he loved her for it.
The closer he got to the centre, the faster he was swirled around, and the harder he was being sucked in. He was short of breath. The Ocean was all around him. He could smell her salty scent, and feel her cool touch. He could hear her waves crashing around him. She's just as excited as I am…
He could hardly stand the pressure. The Ocean was all around him, pulling him in and-
With a sudden yank, Mako was dragged deep down into the ocean through the centre of the whirlpool. Submerged in his wife, Mako was still spinning around, though a lot more gently. Ah! That was some climax, Ocean. You just went so fast that you completely sucked me in.
Along the bottom of the Ocean, Mako swam gently, savouring the feeling of his wife all around him. Once the bottom of the Ocean began to curve upwards, Mako pushed up and swam gently up through his wife, taking care not to injure himself.
He came to the surface and took a deep breath. "Ocean, have I ever told you what a beautiful bottom you have?"
(88888888)
Weird, wasn't it? I bet the thinly-veiled and badly constructed innuendos didn't help.
I used the word beautiful quite a lot in this fic…
Well, all that aside, please review to make suggestions, correction and comments. Thanks for reading!