A/N: I took a few liberties in this, I know they've moved head quarters and Tyki is not that well at the minute but I'm pretending he is and that the new head quarters is a building straight out of my head and looks freakishly like the old one even its location.

Disclaimer: if I owned -man I am such an amazing artist that it would be composed entirely of stick figures ^_^ seeing as it's not I guess I don't own it. I can dream though. The plot is mine.

Plan L

Things finally resembled normality at the order, or at least what passed as normality there. The tired out exorcists were starting to relax, fall back into the usual routine. Lenalee took coffee to the science department, Lavi was busy poking his nose where it shouldn't be, Allen was eating and Kanda was training. All in all things were going ok. Like the calm before a storm, there were signs but everybody was just to relaxed to notice them. After all since when did Kumoi work al day without being forced? And since when did central approve of his schemes? Maybe that had been why they'd left it aloe, central didn't agree to hair brained nonsense, right?

"Tyki?"

"Mm?"

"Is that a really good book?"
"It is quite interesting"

"Unputdownable?"

"No not quite"

"Don't you want to help me cheer Lulubell up?"

Lord Tyki Mikk looked over the top of his book at his niece, raising one eyebrow slightly. Lulubell had been down? Rhoade clung lightly to his sleeve and gave him puppy dog eyes.

"Aw come on Tyki I have the best idea and you know she's been down well bored lately and I'm sure you'd enjoy yourself too. Come on ask me what I want to do."

He buckled.

"Ok Rhoade what's your idea?"

She giggled in delight and clapped her hands together.

"Well I wanted to go pay the exorcists a visit. I thought we could pay them a short visit. Lulu could also relieve some of her stress."

Something in Tyki warned him that he'd regret this; something else reminded him that Rhoade would eventually get her way or she might go their alone. Reluctantly he nodded his head, he'd go with if only to keep an eye on Rhoade.

"Goody, now I just need to talk to Lulubell."

At the top of a peak stood a tower on a nearly impossibly thin support, inside the tower were people who'd called this place home for awhile and now prepared to move on along with the memories of those who'd died there. Outside the tower were 3 noah and an umbrella, watching carefully trying to agree on the best way to enter.

"You three should not be doing this ~ relo"

"Is there any reason why we're not just using Rhoade's door to get in here?"

"Oh don't be a bore, there has to be another, harder way to get in. Lulubell, you can just look like someone important. Tyki you can just walk in but how am I suppose to get in."

"With your door" Tyki and Lulubell hissed together.

"No, no that's no fun. I wonder why they have that hideous head at their entrance" Rhoade mused.

"Because they have no taste. Back to the problem at hand which, may I remind you, is how to get into the building not the decorators taste, or lack thereof. Tyki any ideas? "

"No"

"The earl will really spank you this time ~ relo!"

"I know I know! Look there's an open window up there I'll fly up there on relo and then we'll meet up and create havoc."

Tyki sighed as Lulubell tried to explain the immediate problem to Rhoade.

"Rhoade how will you know where Tyki and I are, he'll probably be spotted the second he walks in and I will look like someone in the building. How will you know who is who, that is why we need to enter at the same place. That is why your door is perfect."

"But I don't wanna use my door" Rhoade pouted.

Tyki sighed again and slung the younger Noah over his shoulder.

"Lulubell you fly up to the window and I'll carry Rhoade and we'll all enter from there."

Three and a half minutes later they were all inside the building. Rhoade grinned widely and ran round the corner, right into Allen.

"ALLEEEEEN! YAY!" she bounced up and hooked her arms round his neck. "I missed you!!!"

To the shock of the infiltration party he didn't react with shock or anger or even fear. Instead four exorcists covered her mouth and whispered: "Shh they'll hear you!" it was then that they took in the exorcists' appearance. They were out of breath and ruffled, like they'd been running hard. The dark hard Japanese exorcist was gripping a katana and peering round the corner.

"Those bastards never do what they're paid for; this is another one of their stupid experiments. Che. I'm going to kill them all."

"I can't believe that central actually approved of this idea." Lavi wailed in a whisper. "Have we no right to dignity and pride?"

"Um guys," Choaji mumbled: "there are three noah in here and the funny talking umbrella?"

"The name's relo baka ~relo!"

"We'll deal with that later Choaji, we have bigger problems right now."

It was all Tyki, Lulubell, Rhoade and relo could do to keep their mouths closed and stop their eyes from bugging out their sockets.

"A bigger problem then us?" Lulubell stammered "What are you talking about, what has happened? Did we walk into the middle of an attack?" she glanced from Tyki to Rhoade. Had they inadvertently interrupted one of the earl's schemes? She just received a shrug as an answer.

"Noooo" Allen dragged out the syllable though he didn't really want to answer. "The problem lies with our resident curly top and his science team. Do you think it's possible to get that hair right on a voodoo doll? " he absently asked the room. "The problem is Plan L"

It had all started at lunch time. Kumoi had run in with the science team proudly showing off their new formula. He had requested the presence of all the exorcists. The finders and other staff had been gathered there beforehand. They'd looked slightly dazed, well maybe dazed wasn't quite the right word. Blissfully happy was closer to the truth. They looked like they'd just been given an amazing gift. Some of them were holding syringes and a liquid. Kumoi headed the group. A collective sigh was released as the exorcists entered. Some poor fool was making doe eyes at Kanda. It was then that Kumoi started to explain plan L. L for love Bak-san had said. They'd developed a formula that required the DNA of the exorcists, which Kumoi had luckily had on hand. The formula tilted the hormone balance in the brain so that whoever received the drug became devoted to or in love with the person whose DNA was contained in the formula. Complete admiration of the exorcists equalled complete loyalty. Things got really creepy when Leverrier came forward with a big smile and flowers for all the exorcists. Then Kumoi had explained the other part, the part central had demanded which was why they had backed the project, if a body compatible with innocence was injected with such a needle they would fall in love. Central believed the children of two compatible people would be compatible too.

"And that is the long and short of it" Allen finished, "right now you are far futher down on the list of priorities, first thing is to make sure we don't get shot and second is to avoid our obsessed fans. The tonic was too strong."

The rest of the exorcists nodded feverishly.

"This is even more fun then before oh lets tag along."

Tyki deeply regretted not listening to his gut earlier and keeping Rhoade far away from this place. Now it would be impossible to get her to leave. It was at that point that he felt a fist pass through his stomach.

"KEEP THE NOAH AWAY FROM OUR AMAZING EXORCISTS!" cried the angry mob behind him.

A/N: phew, chapter one is done. YAY! If there are any people you want to see get shot tell me and if it doesn't interfere with my plans I'll do so. An exorcist can be shot by up to 3 needles because they are compatible with innocence a normal person can only deal with one. The main point of this is reproduction so anything other than friendly affection between boys is unlikely. It does remove jealousy. Noahs are primarily dark matter beings and as such their reactions are as unique as they are.