Authors' notes: Hello! I got this idea a while ago, and thanks to a burst of inspiration while writing a different story, I finally know how to start it. Yes, this story has OC's .Yes, they seem like Mary Sues. I was trying for that. Hopefully, this will turn out to be the parody I am going for, and not some horrible pile of badfic. Writing a perfect character seemed like a fun challenge. Constructive criticism is appreciated as always, and please don't take this too seriously. Remember I'm trying to make the OC's Mary Sue-ish, and I would much rather if you could point out if any of the canon characters start acting off. Also, I live in and speak Australian, so please forgive my writing of schools, 14 year olds would be in year 8 down here and I need to set this during KHI. Oh, and down here, Organisation is spelt with an S. So forgive me if I slip up. Also, I'm not targeting anyone specifically, although if this sounds like your story, you may have a Mary Sue on your hands. Now all that's been said please enjoy the story!
Disclaimer: I do not own the Kingdom Hearts series, the Final Fantasy series or the Disney Corporation. I do however; own the original characters in this story.
Sakura in Kingdom Hearts! (A Mary Sue parody)(Hopefully!)Sakura trudged into her new 8th grade English class. She was like, so much better than this crummy little school in the middle of nowhere. It just totally sucked. First, her mean, evil parents yell at her for being expelled from her old school, and she gets sent here? Not fair. Her brand, spankin' new iPhone barely got one bar of reception here. Sakura used to go to The SparklyPoo Academy For Perfect Little Visions Of Wonder, but she had gotten kicked out for not being perfect enough. Her grades had slipped from A+++++ to plain old A's, her hair was only shiny enough to blind old people, and when she walked into a room, only half of the boys instantly fell in love with her. But Sakura was a rebel. She always talked back to everyone, and wasn't scared of anything. Sure, she had been a terrible little brat when her parents had told her she was going to a new school and that she had live on her own because it was far away, but she hadn't been so bad that it deserved for her parents to only buy her one small house instead of the huge penthouse apartment she wanted and deserved. Sure, this Island was a vision of paradise, what with the birds, and gorgeous clear blue sea, but Sakura still couldn't see why everyone back at The SparklyPoo Academy For Perfect Little Visions Of Wonder, or tSAfPLVoW, would all cut of their right wing – or, for the unlucky girls without, arm - to go here, even for a short holiday. It just wasn't that special.
"Alright, we have a new student joining us." The teacher said, "Why don't you give us an introduction, and tell the class a little about yourself, before we get started."
"Gladly!" Sakura pranced out in front of the group of students, flaunting her flawless body as much as was humanly possible. She flicked her gorgeous silver hair, that came complete with baby blue and pink streaks - which were ,of course, totally natural – over her shoulder. It was currently in a ponytail, but when it was out, it dropped down to the small of her back. It shimmered like a thousand diamonds, almost as glorious as her perfect, perfect eyes. They sparkled with the most beautiful pink, with a shine of blue that got more or less obvious depending on her mood. By a coincidence, the school uniform she had on went perfectly with the blue in her hair and eyes, and was so short it was amazing you couldn't see her underwear every time she took a step.
"My name is Sakura Hikari Sunshine Kawaii Rainbow Sugardrop Nomura! I'm fourteen years old, my birthday is the thirteenth of May, my favourite colour is pink, my favourite number is ten, my favourite animal is a unicorn, and they're so real because I have one at home, his name is Enrique. I'm an angel; I have wings, only you can't see them right now because I don't need them. I can fly, I'm a master of ninjutsu, I have a black belt in all forms of karate, I have a samurai sword, a katana and a crossbow, and I can play the guitar, the flute and the drums so well that they want me in all the best orchestras, I'm famous where I come from because of my fabulous singing voice, I have an IQ of 300, and I work as a part time model!" Sakura was positively glowing by the end of this, making the students in the class turn away, and a small bird outside fall out of a tree.
"Uh, yes, well. Miss Nomura, was it? The class is currently writing short stories, if you would be kind enough to sit down, now that your lengthy introduction is over, perhaps we could all get started?" The English teacher, whose name was Miss Thompson, a rather pretty woman around the age of 25, appeared rather shaken by the performance, and wondered to herself if this odd girl was an actor. She would probably be a source of trouble in the classroom, that was for sure.
Sakura on the other hand, was scanning the room, looking for any particularly cute boys. The really noticeable ones were a young brunet, with hair spiking in all directions. This boy had the most adorable big blue eyes that looked like cut sapphires. The boy next to him, however, was even more gorgeous. He had silver hair, not as nice as her own, but still magnificent. His light blue eyes made contact with hers, and she knew they would be dating by the end of the day. The redhead girl the two boys were talking to may pose a threat though, she was probably really bitchy, and no-one would miss her if Sakura got rid of her. It looked like she was interested in the brown haired boy anyway. Sakura started walking towards the back of the room; she would sit down next to the older looking boy, the one with the greyish hair, she would chat him up with her skills, and then—
"Sakura, there's an empty seat just up there next to Selphie. Yes, just there. Okay. Now remember, these stories are due in a few days, so you all need to get your work done quickly. There will be NO exceptions." Miss Thompson sent Sakura back to her seat quickly. This class would seriously blow. What a bitchy teacher! Sakura simply couldn't believe her nerve. How dare she have authority in her own classroom? NO teacher had ever stopped Sakura from sitting where she wanted before! It was unheard of! But still, once this Miss Thompson woman got a load of Sakura's immense talent at everything, maybe she would relax a bit. She got started at her story, using her skills at grammar and spelling to have it finished and better than everyone else's by the end of class.
'ok so ther was this grl & she was liek totally hotand she was rly pretty and stuf and evry1 luved her.1 day she went outside & ther was lyke this masive storm thingy goin onand she was all like ohmigawd!!!11! this is totaly messing up mi hair!!1 her hair was realy prety and she had like al designer cloths on and she had thees rly cute boots on and they wer Gucci and the storm woz gettin worse and stuff so she got on her unicorn witch was rainbow coulored an she flew away bcoz her house and hole town and stuff was getting kept flyng until she got to this huge castle and she went inside and found out she was totaly the princess of the country and she put onthis really pretty dress that was green and went to the floor and she got theez new shoes and they were heels and realy nice and she went for a walk but she got lost and woz rescued by this hot az dude and he was realy sexc and hot and he was really a prince and also zac efron and they liek got married and she got the jonas brothers to sing at thier wedding bcoz there realy sexc two and it was teh best wediing evar and they had three kids and thar woz a gril and too boys and ther were the cutest kids evr and they lived happily ever after for liek forever untill ths rly evil witch lady hu was realy the grls evil step-mothr came down and she was like OMG u guyz are liek totally not kool and how dare u and stuff. Im gunna cast a evil spell on you that makes you really ugly and then she did but the girl was so pretty an baetiful tha spell broke and hit the evil witch but she woz alredy relly ugly so it just killed her insted and it was relly good and evry1 was totaly happy and lived happyly 4eva & eva. '
Sakura, having just written the best story she had ever seen, went to hand it in to her teacher. While getting up, she heard the girl next to her - Selphie, was it? – giggling to the two boys next to her.
"Jeez, I know she said she had an IQ of 300 or something. But still, why doesn't she keep her work and look over it? I only looked for a second, and I saw like ten mistakes. It's like when I type on word and don't use spell-check. Is she trying to make a good impression, by handing her work in so early? I mean, moving to a new schools probably really stressful. I think we should ask her to hang out with us today; she doesn't know anyone, and I'm sure she's pretty nice. Over dramatic, but nice."
"Whatever you say, Selphie." Was Tidus' reply. He remembered when he'd first moved here too, it was a massive change for him as well, he had lived in a huge city with machines for everything, and massive blitz ball tournaments every year. But he was certain he hadn't acted like that.
Sakura just ignored them. She was so much better than those kids. They knew nothing about grammar. Hers was perfect. Their tiny minds just couldn't comprehend her perfection. Sakura handed her short story into the Miss Thompson, who looked at it for about thirty seconds, before handing it back.
"Sakura, There are a few mistakes in here. Try to look over your work before you hand it in. I really can't read it before you do. I know you can do better; your reports from your old school were excellent. If you're having trouble, go talk to Kairi down the back. She's great with grammar and English in general. She can give you a hand if you'd like."
How dare she! Sakura's piece was perfect, so much better than that Kairi girl could ever manage. This woman, these students, this whole school made Sakura so mad! She had a complete mastery of the English AND Japanese languishes, how dare she insult her like this! But still, Sakura was a brilliant actor, and simply smiled.
"Of course Thompson-sensei. I will look over it again." Sakura sat down at her table. This class was terrible. But the rest of the day would get better. None of the other teachers would treat her like this. They would know their place.
Sakura was right. Every other teacher at the school knew their place. And that place was at the front of the classroom, handing out papers and advice, stopping all the little fights that broke out, and generally keeping an eye on things. It just wasn't right. It had only been one day, and Sakura was already going so mad she could rip her hair out. Except she wouldn't, because her hair was so perfect it was more valuable than gold. All she knew now, was that after school, the popular place to hang out was the play island just off shore, and she had been invited. Out of pure courtesy, of course. Sakura was actually quite unpleasant to be around, her arrogance got in the way of what could have once been a personality, and her insistence that she, and everything she did was perfect had gotten on everybody's nerves. But Sakura didn't know that.
Arriving at the island, Sakura noticed a small wooden raft. The workmanship wasn't bad, but she could've done a much better job herself. The owners of the raft were Kairi, who was standing on the raft organising supplies, Sora, the brunet from English class, who was trying splashing around in the water, presumably hunting a fish, and Riku, the silver haired beauty, also from English class. He was staring at the sea, instead of doing something productive. Then again, he may have already brought his supplies, and was just waiting for Sora to finish up. Some of the other kids from class were there too. Selphie, the girl who had invited Sakura to have lunch with her and her friends, Tidus, the blond boy who Selphie had been talking to pretty much all through English, - Sakura was still absolutely certain that those two were just jealous of her writing skills - and Wakka, who made up the last part of the second of two trios on the island. He had a funny accent; it was like, Jamaican or something? It really didn't sound too good.
Taking a break from his fishing, Sora had decided it was a good idea to challenge Selphie, Tidus and Wakka to a fight. He was pretty good at sword fighting, although Riku was the best on the island. Apparently he had defeated the other three kids together one time, which would explain Sora's determination to win. Those two were fierce rivals. Sakura sat down on a log. She, like everyone else had gotten changed after school before coming down to the island. She was now sporting a low, black v-neck singlet with a white one underneath. The white one had baby pink and blue lace on it that matched her hair. Her singlet only came down to her ribs, leaving her flat stomach bare. She had blue elbow length fingerless gloves on, that again, matched her hair. She had an incredibly tight pink skirt on, so short it hardly covered her underwear, just like her school skirt. Like everything else, this also matched her hair. On her legs, she had a pair of thigh-high black platform heeled boots, the soles were baby blue, and there was a three pink hearts in a vertical line, getting smaller as they got higher. Going around the hearts to the top of the boots were two pink lines, arranged in a sort of double helix, only without the lines going horizontally. Her hair was down now, and it looked even more spectacular than usual in the summery sunlight. Her wings were fully visible; she hadn't lied when she told the class about them earlier. She was so perfect there was no need to. Sakura's wings were indescribably lovely, they were sort and fluffy like baby kittens, and were as pure and white as snow. The feathers on them were more beautiful than those on any kind of bird. Riku thought they were fake. It was a reasonable assumption too, how many teenagers had wings? It's almost as absurd as cat ears or a tail. Sakura took this in stride, sparkling and strutting around the beach in her super skimpy outfit as she watched the teens beat each other up with wooden sticks.
Speaking of play fights, Sora had just lost his. Spectacularly. His tactics hadn't worked as well as he had though. Mainly because he hadn't come up with any. Sakura laughed her chime-like lovely laugh. She stood up, in one fluid movement, gracefully seizing a toy sword from the ground. Hers was more special that Sora or Riku's, though. It had hearts, star, rainbow and unicorns among other things engraved onto it. Sakura approached the group. She had already worked out her tactics for the fight, and was ready for a challenge. Although, Sakura was so skilled there wouldn't be much of a challenge at all.
"Why don't I fight you guys? C'mon, I'll put a much better fight than Sora!"
"Hey!" Sora argued, "I thought I did pretty good!"
"Yeah? Well you're wrong. That was pathetic. Let me show you how it's done. I mean, with you fighting like that, it would be hilarious if it turned out you were destined to save the world!" Right after Sakura said that, a coconut fell out of a tree, like it was aiming for Sora's head. Riku, who had come over to help Sora up, hit the coconut away. If he had of looked closer, he would've noticed that it had the words 'Coconut of Crappy Foreshadowing' engraved on it. Quite odd, really.
To swing back to the action, Tidus had decided that it would be a good idea to fight Sakura. She couldn't be that good, and maybe they could knock sense into her, and some self-importance out. But sakura knew there was no chance of that. Kairi called go, and Sakura rushed into battle, sword held high. She knocked Tidus off his feet, and his weapon out of his hands in one shot. Then, she twisted Selphie's rope around her sword and pulled her in to use her as a human shield against Wakka's Blitzball, eliminating Selphie as well. Then, she rushed in and pulled off a thirty hit combo against him, blasting him into the small pool with the waterfall leading into it. At least that was the plan. In the first ten or so seconds of the fight, Sakura was on her knees, having the snot beaten out of her by the three teens. This was so unfair. Right now, Sakura wanted nothing more that to be back at tSAfPLVoW. She missed her old school so much. She could be out shopping with her rich, beautiful friends instead of on this crappy little island. What was so special about it anyway?
"THAT'S ENOUGH! STOP IT NOW!" Sakura screeched, storming off in the middle of the fight, and hiding in the broken down shack. She hated this island. She hated everyone on it. The teachers can't recognise her talent, all the girls are massive bitch queens, and all the boys are immature little brats! They aren't even that cute! It's just not worth it. Nothing ever happens. Sakura needed time to angst. Meanwhile everyone else was standing outside worrying about her.
"Did we upset her?"
"It wasn't intentional."
"She was being pretty bratty."
"That's no excuse!"
"But she—"
"Maybe we should just talk to her."
"Let her cool down first. Then we'll talk."
Sakura heard them walk off and get back to their business. The raft was finished, and Tidus, Wakka and Selphie left to go back home to the main island. Sakura didn't leave. She stayed behind in the old shack. The other kids had tried to talk to her, but she had yelled, and shut them out. She just wished for them to go away. Or for some hot guy to ride up and rescue her. Or maybe for the whole island –no, not just the island, the whole world! - To just be destroyed in some horrible accident.
Sakura should have been more careful about what she wished for.