Reminders
Author's Note: This drabble might seem really familiar to a few of you who might have read the IchiHitsu forum post somewhere. Not really saying that inspiration came from there, but hey, I wanted to write something short and sweet. You know, like...a 'filler'; a short 'break' from my current stories.
Disclaimer: All I own of Bleach is some of the merchandise. Nothing more, nothing less. Overlook the Bounto arc for this oneshot, because I'll only be referring to the movie (I think...). Flashbacks are prone to change, and I have an OC which you really shouldn't care about (coughkidousenseicough).
It was just a stupid question. Yes, it was just a stupid question, asked by his stupid fukutaichou.
But Hitsugaya knew, more than anyone else in Soul Society, that it was probably the hardest question he ever had to answer.
She didn't know it, but the fukutaichou of the 10th Division had actually dug a hole out of his soil of pride and didn't place it back in to cover up the hole. The telltale signs had made her worry about his welfare, but he dismissed her with a wave of his hand, trying hard to cover up his sudden freezing up in the midst of making a signature on the piece of paperwork. She had left, but not before making sure that her captain was absolutely fine. Of course he would say that he was fine when he obviously wasn't. As much as she was a lazy sow, Matsumoto was definitely no idiot.
Well, even an idiot would notice how cold the 10th Division office had gotten once that question was asked.
It made Matsumoto regret ever asking the question.
"Ne, taichou..."
"What now, Matsumoto?"
"You hate others calling you nicknames like how Momo-chan calls you Shiro-chan, right, taichou?"
"Hn..."
"So, taichou, Ichigo-kun calls you by your name all the time, but you still tell him to call you Hitsugaya-taichou. It's not like it's making fun of you or anything, taichou, so...why don't you let anyone call you Toushirou?"
"..."
"...Taichou?"
Hitsugaya Toushirou glued his piercing emeralds to the kanji of the paperwork, slowly placing the brush in his hand down before closing his eyes, resting his forehead on the palm of his hand. The room had suddenly spun in circles, and he felt the desperate need to close his eyes and take his break, but it still didn't help ease his pounding migraine.
That was the first time anyone had ever asked him that kind of question before and he always had his answers prepared for questions like those. Just...he hadn't expected anyone to ask him so specifically. That gave him another reason why Matsumoto should stay away from alcohol; it would make her do things that she normally wouldn't.
He could feel his mind slipping away, succumbing to the sleeping state which he did not want to enter. Moving in and out of consciousness, he took in deep, but quick, breaths. Even in his subconscious state, his chest moved up and down rapidly, with the white puffs of mist escaping his mouth estimated to be about more than the stack of unfinished paperwork on his desk.
The constant ringing of the voice he both longed and hated to hear in his head, which he had blocked out years ago, presented itself to him once more, refusing to leave his mind like the smell of rotten food lingering on in the refrigerator. The smile of the face he both wished and didn't wish to see again...and the hair with the color he had wished he had been blind to...
...Toushirou!
"Hey, Toushirou!"
Hitsugaya's eyes snapped open as he stood up with a jolt, nearly knocking the stack of paperwork over. His head snapped to his left, giving the orange-haired shinigami substitute standing there a death glare. "What the hell do you want, Kurosaki?"
Ichigo shrugged, the idiotic grin plastered on his face. "Eh, dunno. Just felt like hanging out with you."
With eyes narrowed to thin slits, Hitsugaya was about to retort back with his captain-ly tone of voice when the voice piping in his head sang out once more.
Toushirou, Toushirou! Hey, wait up!
Kusaka? What do you want?
Ah, ah, don't sound so demanding, Toushirou. I just wanted to hang out with you. Is that bad?
...Ah...no, not at all...
The white-haired captain turned to look at his paperwork instead and sat down calmly, picking the brush up and getting back to work. "Whatever, Kurosaki. Just don't disturb me, or else."
The strawberry's grin widened as he made his way over towards the desk, resting his elbows at the front of the table and having a good view of the upper torso of the white-haired captain. No, of course he wasn't a pervert; it was just that Kon asked him to have a closer view of the much-esteemed captain of the 10th Division and nearly screamed in his ear to tell him once he was done...of COURSE he's a pervert. "So, whatcha' doing, Toushirou?"
Hey, Toushirou. What're you doing?
Teal eyes narrowed slightly. "...Paperwork."
In case you have forgotten, Kusaka, it's our kidou sensei's homework.
"But that's boring, Toushirou! You should relax sometimes, you know? All this dumb ol' paper's gonna get to your head someday."
You mean Waru-sensei's homework? Why are you doing it now? He just gave it to us five minutes ago! It's break time now, Toushirou, which means you have to relax and...you know, hang loose.
"Kurosaki, I am a captain; I can't afford to slack. And I thought I told you not to disturb me."
Ichigo only rolled his eyes in a bored manner. "Sure, Toushirou. Whatever you say."
Kusaka, I just like doing my work fast. I can't afford to slack now.
Well...whatever you say then, Toushirou. Hey, save you a seat? I promise to buy you some nattou beans this time round.
...Sure...that sounds, well...great.
Hitsugaya had narrowed his eyes to such thin slits he didn't know whether they were closed or even open.
Why in the name of bloody hell are the memories resurfacing now?!
Just...just what is it about Kurosaki's visit that's making him feel so...so...
...bad?
"...Kurosaki, I do not want to repeat myself: stop calling me Toushirou."
Grin. "Then stop calling me Kurosaki and start calling me Ichigo."
It was then Hitsugaya's eyes had widened as the realisation dawned upon him. He glanced at Ichigo, boring his teal eyes into the other's hazelnut eyes. Without him realising it, the glance had turned into a stare which had frightened Ichigo to some extent when he felt the blank stare upon him. He wanted to ask the white-haired other if anything was wrong, but for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to ask the question.
Kusaka, stop calling me Toushirou.
Ah, but then you'll have to stop calling me Kusaka and call me Soujirou.
I don't normally call people by their given names, Kusaka.
-Grin- And I don't normally call people by their family names either, Toushirou.
With a sigh that he held suppressed for minutes, Hitsugaya looked away, gluing his eyes to the floor instead before standing up and moving out of his seat. "Eh? Toushirou, where are you going?"
'I...I can't...I can't face him like this...'
"Toushirou?"
'He reminds me...He reminds me too much of...'
"Toushirou!"
'Now whenever I see him, I'll only see...'
"Toushirou, where are you going?!"
Stopping in his tracks, the white-haired captain turned, giving Ichigo a dry glance before turning to leave his office. He probably wouldn't return to his office till it was time to hit the futon.
It's gonna take another decade to get over this shit again...
A/N: Not exactly a good ending. And not exactly a good oneshot either. Hell, I'm getting from bad to worse at this. -bangs head against table-
Well, but yeah, there you have it; a complete failure at delivering the message of Hitsugaya seeing too much of Kusaka in Ichigo. I wanted to portray it with an even better flow, but as you can see...Shinigami on Ice and Spiritual Bondage (refer to profile page) are driving me insane. Rest assured; they are in much better condition than this one is.
...Much.