Faith in Family
Safe in a Brother's Arms
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural
Word Count: 5853
Summary: Dean was furious at Sam after the events in the 'Dark Side of the Moon' but Castiel uses Sam's real favourite memories and his worse to restore Dean's faith in his brother.
Hey, this a story I wrote a couple of years ago which I am currently editing and revising. I will be putting up each chapter as I fix them. The original will also be up on here as long with the revised version but hopefully this one will be better. Fingers crossed!
Sam probably hadn't even noticed that he had gone. Dean stomped through the forest, the strength of steps harshly broke the twigs underfoot and relentlessly crushed grass. Sam was safe and sound in the crappy motel, while he was walking open for an unknown amount of time.
Dean didn't really know what Sam wanted. He used to want a normal life with a wife, some rugrats, a white picket fence, the whole nine yards. That apple pie life was not for Dean but he always figured that Sam would get his older, better brother involved in his life again. Even if Sam had to do some of it on his own. Now, his baby brother, who Dean had brought up (there was no question about that) did not care whether he was in his life or not, it was more like he just wanted to get rid of him. For Sam they were together for convenience, not wanting to be together.
During his angry romp in the woods, there was a sudden movement next to him. Dean brought out his gun and pointed at the movement.
"Damn it, Cas!" Dean muttered, bringing his gun down, "Do you want me to freakin' shoot you?"
He heard the fallen angel mumble something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like 'No, I can't be bothered to find a new overcoat.' If Dean wasn't in such a miserable mood, he would have grinned at Castiel's antics.
"Why are you here Cas?" Dean said, with a deep sigh afterwards.
As much as he considered Castiel as part of his family, Dean was always apprehensive when he appeared. This was because Castiel had a hidden talent. Any situation no matter how convoluted manages to become vastly more complicated, just by the angel's arrival.
"I need to show you something, it seems that my brothers haven't been honest with you neither has yours," Castiel informed him, gruffly.
"I don't think Sam has ever been honest with me," Dean laughed, it was without humour and sounding resentful.
"That is the reason why I am here," Castiel told him, fishing around for something in his pockets.
He pulled out a notebook that was thick with age and use. It had pages falling out and was covered in fluffy white clouds. Dean knew exactly what it was. It was his little brother's diary. Dean recalled Sam writing in the damn thing from the age of ten to the age of eighteen. Dean, of course the awesome big brother that he was teased him mercilessly about it.
"Where did you get that?" Dean snapped.
Reading the diary was never an option for Dean even when he was in a dick mood. He respected Sam's privacy or he was scared what he could learn from the thoughts of an angst-y teenage Sam
"I salvaged it," Castiel replied, "I had to repair the book into its original form before the fire."
"You didn't go back into the past, did you?" Dean asked sharply, remembering how ill the fallen angel had gotten last time.
"No," Castiel said hastily, seeing Dean's ferocious protective instinct flare up, "Someone owes me a favour."
Before Dean had a chance to grill about who owes Castiel a favour he placed his index finger on Dean's forehead. Causing them both to spin off into oblivion and spat out again.
Expected angel transportation is bad but when its unexpected, it's dire. Your stomach flips over, and you become so disorientated that you have no idea of where you are and what is happening. Dean hated it. After the fogginess subsided, he could see where he was.
It was an apartment that was vaguely familiar. It was one the worse they had stayed in. The garish wallpaper was ripped and peeling. It was reminiscent of the worst parts of the seventies. The once cream carpet was stained with a permeant grey and had chewing gum now compressed into the material taking up all of the dirt from shoes causing dark spots. The red sofa had been chewed up by rats or mice and was pointed towards a broken television set. It had also had been where John had slept when he had been there. Dean remembered that the TV working was not much of an issue as the room was lit up by candles as the electricity hadn't worked their entire time there. Neither had the water.
But that wasn't really that peculiar. What was that a younger version of himself and his father were on pause as if they were on a film. They were frozen in what seemed to be an animated conversation. It seemed this weirdness was 360 degrees as Dean looked around to see a ten-year-old Sammy with his little chubby cheeked head poking out of a door with a hopeful expression.
"Cas, why did you bring me here?" Dean asked the angel.
Castiel who was more inclined to curiosity and analysis was still looking around the room long after Dean had finished. He finally got to Sam and Dean would of sworn that the angel lit up when he saw a younger less hardened version of Sam.
"We are going through some of Sam's best and worst memories," Castiel said, simply.
It was so nonchalant; it was as if Castiel decided if he treated this as normal. Dean would to.
"I have already seen his best, they were my worse" Dean reminded him, "So, why would I want to see them again? And I think we both know his worse!"
"No, you haven't, not his true ones anyway and not the real reason why they were his best either," Castiel said, not really paying much attention to Dean as his eyes where fixed on Sam's diary.
Dean knew that he probably would have to get this done and over with or Castiel would be happy to rot with him for all eternity in this hellhole or imitation of a hellhole. He probably wouldn't even notice that any time had gone past so he said, "Hit me."
This got Castiel attention as he gave Dean a confused look which included the infamous head tilt and asked, "Why would I hit you?"
"Just play the damn memory, and for god's sake don't hit me," Dean ordered, shaking his head and smiling slightly at Castiel's typical antics.
How a creature like Castiel could even exist, Dean would never know.
Again, the angel fished through his pockets until he found a small black remote like the ones that comes with a CD player. The hunter looked at it nonplussed.
"Why do you have a remote?" Dean asked, exasperated.
"How else am I going to play the memory? It is what humans do right? I have seen you use it with the Television set," Castiel told him.
"Fine, whatever," Dean sighed, and watched Castiel pressed the button.
"Dad, he'll get more exercise if you let him join the team, he can do that as well as running!" Dean said like he had enough and was waving his arms about madly, "You always complain that he doesn't do enough exercise!"
The memory of this came back in full force and Dean had to smile smiled. Dean had mastered the art of suppression while growing up, so he had made sure that the apartment had gone far from his mind. As it had stank and you could hear rats scuttling everywhere, and was generally gross. However, this had been one of the rare times where Sam actually saw how he could to stand up to Dad for him.
"It's time to start training him properly. Soccer is just a fancy a whim that we cannot afford to entertain. He needs to be more prepared, Dean, so we can get that monster who killed your mother," John barked, his fist banging against the table which made a groan in protest.
Sammy made a small noise of fear which nearly made Dean turn around and attempt to pull him up in his arms like he had done when he was younger. But Castiel had guessed his next move grabbed the hunter's arm forcing him to watch his and his father's interaction.
Dean winced, he knew his baby brother was watching. Sam knew all of it now, but he didn't want his baby brother to have the same burden as he had to find their mother's killer. Hell, Dean was the one who told him about the Supernatural. But, he was still scared that it would consume him like it had his father. The fear would cause him to snap even against the formidable John Winchester.
"Sammy isn't old enough!" Dean protested, all respect forgotten, "Why do you all keep telling me to protect him but you want to force into some twisted type of your personal hell which gets both me and Sam into danger! Do you know what you are? You're selfish!"
Dean was speechless, he never remembered saying such horrible things to his father. That was Sam's job. But, he was panicked, Dad had ordered him to protect him and that included his innocence. Keeping Sam out of the demonic loop was one was the most important things to him.
John was just as speechless as Dean. Clearly, wasn't expecting that response from his oldest son, youngest, sure but Dean never. As shock dissipated, it was clear that it wasn't full of resentment built up during years on the road. It was his fault as he had programmed Dean to protect Sammy from anything and that order went over anything else. If anything threatened that, Dean would forget any and all consequences.
"What did you just say to me, boy?" John stood up, growling.
Dean felt intimidated by his father's full height, compared to John's bulk, he was small and helpless. He then turned his head towards his brother. Sammy who looked more scared than him made him feel braver than he ever felt. There was one thing that he knew better than his Dad, was Sammy- he knew him better and what was better for him. By, the look on his face John could tell that there was no way in hell that Sam was going to start to train. Dean felt as if he could fight enough to protect them both. And if his baby brother wanted to play soccer, he was going to.
Castiel paused the scene, and pulled out Sam's diary. Flipping through a few pages of the book, and held in open a few pages in. Castiel started to read:
"At that moment when Dean looked at me, at first he looked scared, you couldn't really blame though Dad is really scary when he wants to be but when he turned away, the look on his face changed, there was determination. In that moment I realised maybe he needed me as much as I needed him."
"It does not say that!" Dean protested, snatching the book out of the fallen angel's hand.
Dean skimmed through his brothers tidy handwriting to see what Castiel had quoted was the truth.
He chuckled as he said, "What a girl! I knew he needed bloody chick flick moments somewhere so he freakin' wrote them!"
"Are you going to take this seriously?" Castiel asked, annoyed his blue eyes flashing, "I had to pull a pretty big favour for this to happen!"
"Fine, Cas, you don't have to go all nerd angel bitchy on me," Dean told him, grinning.
He had felt happier than he had been in months. Even though, it meant near to nothing as it was during Sammy's hero-worship phase but it still made him think he had been wanted and appreciated at some point. Castiel faked a sigh and moved his shoulders in annoyance at the abuse but he would much rather Dean make fun of him than take reckless forest wanders. Most importantly his human needed to know things about his family, it was overdue. Determined, Castiel pulled out the remote and pressed play once again.
"I called you selfish, Dad, Sam needs to have a social life so he won't become as twisted as you. Even if you say no, he is still going, he needs this and frankly all that book reading is worrying me, I do not want my brother to become a geek extraordinaire!" Dean stood as well, and looked him straight in the eye.
The now much older Dean chuckled even when he was a young teenager was still worried about geek boy's geekier tendencies.
"You listen to me, boy!" John grounded out, now standing right in his personal space and staring down at him, "Sam will start his training and there is nothing you can do to stop it!"
"That is what you think, Dad, but I would guess again. Sammy is going to play soccer and no way is going to start to train to become a hunter. You can turn me into a soldier but Sam will never be one. " Dean smirked, and sauntered off before his father could actually do something that would make him regret his smart words.
The door shut as Sam scuttled further in. Dean pushed it open and slammed the door shut. John slumped down on his chair, sighed and took a swig from a bottle bourbon that was sitting on the rickety table.
Before Dean could protest, Castiel pulled him through a wall. It felt like nothing, just air. It was paused, young Dean's features were marred by anger and Sammy looking worriedly at his older brother. The room was small and crowded, Sam was sitting on something that resembled a bed but Dean's side only had a sleeping bag. There were candles everywhere, lighting up Dean's perfectly army neat side contrasted with Sam's messy book covered area. There was almost line tangible from where the tidiness started and the library ended.
Castiel was taking everything in as if he was cataloguing every boxer shorts and candles and keeping it in his memories.
"Play it already!" Dean ordered, getting impatient.
Sammy rushed towards his older brother and grabbed him tight. Dean gave a moan of feigned annoyance but was grinning into Sam's shoulder.
"Thank-you," Sammy murmured.
Dean in response pulled him tighter, hoping that he never had to let him go.
"That was when I knew Dean would always have my back forever, normally it would only be against ghosts or creatures but defend to me against Dad, now I know my big brother would always be there to protect me not just because Dad had told him to, it was because he wanted to, I hope he knows it's the same for me to." Castiel quoted, holding the blue book tightly in his hands with a small version of a smile.
"And that was one of his best memories? God, that kid's screwed up in the head," Dean muttered, shaking his head.
"Haven't you been paying attention?" Castiel questioned, intensely, "Sam knows that you will always have his back and this was the first time he fully got to appreciate it, this is why this memory is important to Sam!" In a tone that clearly suggested that Dean was an idiot.
"Maybe it's just because he is happy to be in my awesome presence," Dean smirked, cockily.
"If this was the case wouldn't one of his happiest memories would have been the first memory of you that he could remember?" Castiel asked, looking seriously confused.
"Oh shut up," Dean mumbled.
He knew it was poor to use as defence. But, to be fair to himself, he was against an angel of the lord that couldn't tell you the difference between Harry Potter and Winnie the Pooh. So, Dean in his flawed logic believed it worked.
Castiel pressed a button, and before Dean knew it they were in a motel room. It was pretty standard like they stayed in now. A thirteen-year old Sam was frozen as well as the tears settled on his red slightly more defined cheeks. Young Dean was standing in the bathroom doorway. His older self had to smile as he as well as Sam was fond of this memory. The figures without warning began to move.
Without thought, Dean rushed over to Sam. The sobs dominated the room; it was all that could be heard. Dean hadn't seen his little brother like this in years, not since he was much younger. It pained him more than he would ever care to say or would for that matter. Sam who was too caught up in his misery didn't even notice his brother who was staring worriedly down at him.
"Sammy," Dean all but murmured, "What's wrong?"
Sam stared up at him, eyes bloodshot and cheeks red. Begging without words for comfort from his big brother. Dean placed himself next to Sam, wrapped a protective arm around the shaking body. Without noticing, Sam immediately snuggled himself closer to Dean.
"I-It's e-embr-brassing, you'll j-just l-au-ugh at m-me," Sam choked out.
"I won't laugh, come on Sammy, you can tell me anything," Dean tried, squeezing his shoulder.
Sam shook his head against Dean's chest and gasped out, "No."
Dean knowing that he wouldn't get anything out of Sam this way went straight to teasing him: "I know what it is! Oh, Sammy how you dare get such an appalling mark on your biology exam, it's shocking!"
"I-I g-got an A*!" Sam growled, defending himself all the while tears pouring down his face and into Dean's plaid tee.
"Exactly!" Dean boomed, and then his tone turned to falsely stern which sounded like his last Maths teacher "Absolutely disgusting mark, you should be ashamed of yourself!"
"You're just jealous!" Sam was now distracted which made Dean's plan work, he knew his kid brother too well, "You could never a get a mark as good as that!"
"I happy with my straight c minuses, thanks, there is only room for one academic genius in this family," Dean informed him, completely serious, ruffling his hair.
"Why am I only an academic genius? Haven't you realised I am genius in everything else as well?" Sam smirked, cockily. Dean chuckled slightly to himself. He knew that tone of voice well, it was one he used when making a particularly arrogant comment. So, Dean decided to show Sam who was the best and put his shameful copycat ways to bed.
"No, I am a genius in everything that matters! Now, brother of mine, are you going to tell me what's wrong or am I going to have to tickle it out of you?" Dean threatened.
He moved his fingers across Sam's ribcage to showcase that he would follow through. This caused Sam to reacted with a childish and high-pitched giggle.
It had been years since Dean had heard Sam make such a contented noise. It was music to Dean's eyes to hear Sam be full of joy at such ease. It also gave him an evil idea. He had forgotten how ticklish his brother was. It was something he had to test whether he would get a bitch face or the same reaction here. If Dean had to guess it would be bitch face, but it would be worth to see which one it was. Also, it was always fun to annoy his baby brother if he even still wanted to be that anymore.
"You'll just think it's stupid," Sam protested.
He was trying and failing to wiggle out Dean's firm grip. Dean had somehow managed to get Sam to sit on his lap with arms wrapped around him. Dean made the sound of when a cross came up on 'Family Fortunes' and started to tickle Sam mercilessly.
This continued until Sam started to scream and wither in laughter, "Stop! Stop! I'll tell you! Stop this needless torture!"
Stopping 'the needless torture', Dean forced Sam back into his lap and wrapped his arms around him like before.
Dean had to admit that both of them looked pretty adorable. His younger self hugging his brother into his chest. They were probably too old for this behaviour but Dean always treated Sam younger than he was. But, Sam even though he looked he clearly was happy to get his older brother's attention.
"Can you pause it for a second?" Dean found himself asking.
"Sure," Castiel fumbled with the remote for a second and pressed pause.
Dean got his phone out of his pocket and asked Castiel, "Do you think I could take a picture?"
The hunter felt embarrassed at the sentimentality he was displaying. Although, it had been a time where he could take care of his brother. They still had all the ghosts and monsters. They were still happier and freer. Of course, they still had arguments and fell out but about silly sibling things like stolen shirts or hidden homework.
"I think so, you might get a picture of a tree," Castiel replied, gruffly.
The camera on his phone was barely used. There were some pictures from ages ago where Sam had been sleeping in funny positions and could be later be used against him. That been a while ago, too long in fact. Ever since their relationship had gone downhill, Dean had stopped going out of his way to annoy his baby brother. That would have to change. It didn't matter if Sam started the apocalypse, it was a big brother's job to piss bitch brothers like Sam off. It was the natural order of things. This picture could even be used against him. He was wrapped up in his arms like a baby. Castiel couldn't have paused the scene at a better time. They looked like a hallmark card for brotherly love.
Castiel looked at Dean for confirmation for him to start playing the memory again. When Dean nodded, he pressed the button again.
"So, Sammy boy, what's going through that melon of yours?" Dean asked, holding him tighter his lips in Sam's hair, looking like he was resisting the urge to kiss the boy's head.
"It's stupid!" Sam announced his tone once again miserable, "You'll just laugh at me!"
"I believe, Sammy boy, you've already said that," Dean smirked, and then this tone turned falsely dark and threatening, his hands sliding up Sammy's ribs in warning "Or do I have to tickle you, again?"
"You are such a jerk!" Sam announced, pushing against his chest, "I am not a baby anymore let me go!"
"I think 'baby brother' has the word 'baby' somewhere, baby brother," Dean using his arms to make Sam even more closer to him, "So, I guess you are going to have to suck it up, bitch!"
"I am thirteen, Dean!" Sam protested, lightly, but subconsciously snuggled closer to his brother, he hadn't held him like this since he had hit double digits and even though he felt like a baby, he felt safe and protected in his brother's arms.
"And you're trying to distract me," Dean accused, "Don't think you can outsmart me, if don't tell me in five seconds, I will have to tickle you again!"
"But Dean…" Sam was interrupted when Dean starting to count.
"One!"
"Dean, come on!" Sam started to struggle.
"Two!"
"This is ridiculous; I should have been the older brother!" Sam grumped, still trying to get free.
"Three!" Dean had started to slow down with his counting to fill Sam with anticipation which would hopefully drive him slightly crazy.
"You have the mentality of a six-year-old!" Sam said, pushing against his chest.
"Four!"
"Fine, I asked Susie McKean out and she called me a freak!" Sam burst out, miserably.
Dean sighed in realisation. They came back to this often. Ever since Sam and their father had a pull no punches conversation about the unknown monster that killed his mother, he had felt different. Learning that their mother died in his nursery, made Sam feel like a monster himself or the most common word; 'freak'. It didn't help that Sam struggled to fit in with children his own age. Before school, the only other child, he interacted properly was with Dean. Furthermore, he always got on better with adults and Dean was his own personal guide dog. Kids Sam's age all the impression that if they messed with him would have to suffer hell from Dean.
Disgust and pride filled the older Winchester. He couldn't believe anyone would treat his sweet baby brother like crap, especially a spoiled brat like Susie Mckean. Dean kind of wished that Sam's first interest in a girl was better, but he managed to find the balls to ask her out. He hadn't just thought about it and gave her puppy dog eyes across the cafeteria, he actually plucked up the courage to ask her.
"First of all, where do you get off fancying a chick and telling me about it?" Dean growled, sounding more annoyed than he actually was.
"Um, I thought you'd make fun of me," Sam admitted, biting his lip.
"Of course, I would have made fun of you; it is an older brother's responsibility to tease their younger brother about girls," he said, firmly, Sam sighed and put his head against Dean's neck, "But it is also their job teach them how to deal with the ladies."
"You're so weird," Sam said, proud of his assessment, "But how do you make girls fall all over you?"
"Well when you look like me, it's perfectly understandable," Dean smiled when Sam giggled, "But seriously that bitch doesn't deserve you, she doesn't see a good thing when she sees one and you don't need her, cos you got me, it is the Winchesters against the world always remember that."
"That still makes me a freak," Sam joked, smiling at him.
"Hey! The Winchesters are not freaks it's those normal people who are the freakish ones," Dean told him, he said 'normal' like it was the black plague and he moved his lips near Sam's ear and whispered, "You are not a freak."
"Dean is right, it will always be us against the world, I don't need anyone but him and Dad, they will always be there to protect me especially Dean, he would do anything for me as I would for him and if believes I am not a freak then it must be true Dean knows everything well sort of he can't do any math equations when I ask him for help but that doesn't matter I can know things like that he know everything else. Cos I don't need a girl, I just need my big brother, anyway Dean was right Susie is a bitch," Castiel quoted, after he had paused the memory.
The words still meant a lot to him. Dean always cherish his childhood, no matter how bad it was a times. But, as much as he wanted to repair his relationship with his brother. They had to care the same amount, or it just doesn't work.
"Cas, we are still in the hero worshipping days that don't mean anything!" he growled, seriously annoyed.
"It wouldn't," Castiel agreed, "However this is still one of Sam's happiest memories, surely that means something."
It did mean something. He had always thought Sam had no happy memories of their younger years. He had always thought that Sam took Dean for granted and never once appreciated it him. That it was over-powered by constantly being moved around, being trained for an everlasting, so much so that small moments like these meant nothing to him. That everything connected to his childhood was corrupted, every bit of it including Dean.
"Do you get why I am showing you these memories?" Castiel asked touching his shoulder lightly, like a touch from an angel would magically make the reason pop in his head.
"No." Dean said honestly, he didn't even know how the angel found him so he thought it would be best to ask.
"I followed you." Castiel stated, like it was perfectly normal and did it often.
"So, you're a stalker now." Dean stated.
He didn't mind Castiel following him around as he had no real knowledge of personal boundaries. All that mattered was that it was either him or Sam because if Castiel started following random people around, it would just be awkward. And Dean really couldn't be bothered to explain that he was angel that had no idea to behave in a human civilisation.
"Only when it is needed," Castiel said, solemnly.
Dean just shook his head and barely smiled. The fallen angel was an enigma. Castiel had no grasp on how humans lived whereas other angels had some workable knowledge. It made him different from the others. Dean enjoyed spending time with him even with the ginormous stick that permanently resided in the former angel's ass. Somehow, he had become his best friend during the craziness that was the apocalypse. Someone that he could talk without Bobby or Sam. It was refreshing that Castiel could understand him in his own angel way. So, whatever the hell Castiel was up to, Dean just had to trust him.
Thank you for reading. Any comments good or constructive are welcome. Hope you have a good day!